Nesohto
by Karma1987
Summary: A season seven story, join Michaela and Sully as their life and love continues beyond the TV series in the colourful town we all know and love. Each chapter represents an episode. Now complete
1. The monument

Disclaimer- Dr Quinn and all the wonderful characters belong to their rightful owners,

Each chapter will represent an episode, so I plan to update the story weekly (real life permitting) hopefully you will be able to enjoy this alot more then the last story :)

Nesohto

A season seven story

The Monument

She walked at pace, her long green skirt swishing round her ankles as she rushed along the street.

Hitching 2 year old Katie further up her hip, Michaela strode her way across the track towards the post office. It had been just over 2 months since Colleen and Andrew had left for Philadelphia, the time had passed quickly, which was not something that could be said about the mail. These days it only took a week for any letter to arrive from the East, a lot less than the month it had taken when she first moved to Colorado Springs, but it still felt like an eternity. The time delay only added to the pain she felt that Colleen was so far away, and even though her eldest daughter was a married woman, residing with a talented doctor and working towards her dream of becoming a physician, Michaela didn't like the fact that it would take her best part of a week to get to Philadelphia should she be needed.

She gasped slightly as Katie accidentally pulled on her hair. It was becoming a habit of Katie's, the little girl had always been a child that liked to grab hold of things, but with her strength increasing Michaela had seriously considered cutting her hair shorter, a notion that had been quickly scrapped at Sully's appalled reaction. Oblivious to the discomfort she had just inflicted on her mother Katie babbled happily to herself, giving everyone who passed her a beaming smile. Knowing that Katie's action was in no way malicious Michaela gave a daughter a smile that matched in magnitude and approached the window of the post office. Quickly she moved her daughter, resting Katie's weight on the window frame of the post office hatch "Hello Horace. Is there any post?"

"Certainly is Dr Mike" Horace returned the lady doctor's charming smile and handed her two envelopes "One for Sully, and one for Miss Katie from Philadelphia"

He turned away as the telegraph apparatus began tapping out a message.

"Thank you Horace" Michaela returned Katie to her hip "Look sweetheart, a letter from Philadelphia who do you think this is from?"

"Coween" Katie called happily, reaching to try and take the white envelope from her mother, her smile reaching epic proportions. Michaela slid her finger in the gap in the envelope and carefully tore it open. Unfurling the thick piece of paper inside, she handed Katie the envelope for her to play with and began to read her daughter's familiar looping penmanship.

"Dr Mike!" Horace called Michaela back to him, "Telegram's for you"

Michaela moved back up the platform to take the piece of paper in Horace's long fingers. "Thank you Horace"

"Anything nice?" Horace asked curiously, nodding to the paper

Michaela looked at him quizzically and scanned the message that he had transcribed. "Fortescue's? A delivery? I haven't ordered anything, are you positive this is for me" she glanced at Horace puzzled by the message.

Horace nodded fiercely. "Sure is Dr Mike, was real clear, Michaela Quinn Colorado Springs, Colorado. Mrs Quinn's order will be delivered Wednesday to the clinic"

"Mrs Quinn?" Michaela scanned the note again "You've written your" Horace shook his head misunderstanding Michaela's issue. Michaela sighed "Mrs Quinn is my mother Horace; I would either be Dr Quinn or Mrs Sully"

Horace gave her an apologetic smile, "Sorry Dr Mike. Sounds like your Grandma is sending you something" Horace reached out and tickled Katie, causing the little girl to squirm in delight. Noting Michaela's concerned expression Horace retracted his hand "You could send her a telegram, find out what it is?"

Michaela considered his suggestion for a few moments before shaking her head "No, Mother would have informed me if she had wanted me to know the contents of the delivery." She rolled her eyes in frustration "I'd hate to ruin the surprise"

* * *

Brian rushed across the meadow towards the clinic, his eagerness to find out what his Grandma had sent getting the better of him. He had had five days to wonder about what the delivery could possibly be, five days in which his mother had time to become more and more anxious about the contents of the mysterious delivery.

He dashed across the bridge and dodged a pile of horse biscuits, before quickly mounting the platform beside the gazette and sticking his head through the open door "Hey Miss Dorothy" he called to his mentor who sat writing at her desk "You're out of papers"

Dorothy smiled "Well that's encouraging"

"You see any delivery turn up for Ma?" Brian asked hopefully.

Dorothy shook her head as she rose from her desk, "No but every time I have been outside she has been staring out the window. She looks nervous" She picked up a bundle of newspapers and crossed to the door "Didn't your grandma give any clue to what is it that's being delivered?"

"Nope" Brian followed her outside "Just that it's from a company called Fortescue" he grinned as he caught sight of his mother peering through the window nervously as she did her filing. "Paper's are selling real good" he commented as Dorothy set down her pile in the stand. "Think it's the story about Joe Peterson being the new sheriff now that Daniel's gone"

Dorothy smiled at the boy "I doubt it, after all anyone who was interested voted in the election"

"Maybe it means people have got used to you and Cloud Dancing" he gave Dorothy a nod as he moved towards the step "I'll be seein ya, promised Ma I'd help clean the clinic"

Dorothy watched as the gangly teen moved away from her and smiled. Lovingly she patted the paper stand, sales were definitely up the last few weeks, she just hoped that Brian was right that those who had been boycotting her had finally come around and sales would continue to pick up, so she could pay back Loren the money he had so kindly lent her.

* * *

Michaela helped Grace from the examination table and turned to wash her hands "Everything appears normal Grace."

Grace sighed in relief and slowly buttoned her dress to cover her small newly developed belly "I'm just so glad I don't feel sick any more, Nothing worse than working with food all day when you feel like that"

Michaela gave her a smile of understanding "Just enjoy this time, the next month or two are the most enjoyable. The sickness is gone, you have energy again, you can still see your feet" she smiled widely "Now shall we schedule your next check up for the same time in a fortnight" Obtaining a nod in agreement from Grace, Michaela turned to her desk and fished out an appointment card. "Of course if you have any questions you can come back at any time" she held the card out to Grace "Sully was very excited about the prospect of your pie tonight. I'm afraid that my efforts are still not to his taste"

"Well they do say that no one makes pecan pie like mine" Grace grinned at Michaela and crossed to the door.

The two friends exited the stone clad building and stepped out onto the dust street, intent on passing through the alleyway between the gazette and the clinic. Michaela instinctively turned her head a moment before the noise reached her. The sound of shouting, of straining horses, of creaking tortured wheels. Michaela along with what seemed to be every town's person on the street turned in the direction the noise was emanating. Slowly an overburdened wagon crept into view. The four cart horses were straining hard, their black flanks shiny with sweat as they dragged the wagon behind them. The reason for their strain was evident, the contents of the wagon was huge, far too large for a standard wagon, it's size dwarfing the wooden vehicle, overhanging each side.

Michaela watched with mounting dread as the tarp covered cart was pulled slowly towards her clinic. Her mind began racing desperate to know what her mother had sent, but fearing it at the same time.

She gulped down her fear and stepped forward "Is this the Quinn delivery?"

The driver nodded "Certainly is Ma'am"

"Michaela Quinn" Michaela made her claim on whatever was hidden beneath the tarp.

"We'll need 20 men to get this unloaded" Michaela looked at the man in surprise, the male driver laughed "Stone is mighty heavy Ma'am"

"Stone?"

"Yes Ma'am, and we should probably go to the gravesite directly"

Michaela opened her mouth to say something but stopped at a loss for words.

Seeing her friend uncharacteristically silent Grace stepped forward "What is it?" she nodded at the huge delivery

The driver shot a puzzled look in Michaela's direction "It's a burial monument. For Marjorie Quinn"

Grace placed a comforting hand on Michaela's shoulder as Michaela's mouth dropped open.

"Dr Mike" she whispered pulling Michaela's gaze off the delivery and onto her "You go get Katie and Brian, I'll get Robert E to sort this out for you"

* * *

Sully lovingly enclosed Michaela in his arms, immediately his wife turned into him and away from the sight of the numerous town's people struggling with the delivery. Her breathing was short and sharp and Sully could tell she was fighting back the tears. He knew she felt responsible for Marjorie's death and the delivery had only served to open her wounds. Holding Michaela tightly Sully made an appraisal of what was being unloaded. The monument appeared to be almost seven feet long and about five feet tall, and from the appearance through the tarp it appeared to be edged with rounded columns and ornately carved at the top. It was being unloaded just short of the cemetery, and despite the fact there was near enough 30 men helping out there they were still breathing heavily from the weight of the heavy stone. He sighed and rubbed Michaela's shoulder to provide her some comfort, sometimes Michaela's mother frustrated him, Elizabeth just never seemed to see past herself to how she was affecting her daughters.

"Maybe I should help out" a voice called from behind them.

Michaela broke away from Sully as Brian approached unnoticed holding Katie. She accepted her daughter from her son and hugged her, trying to hold Katie's blonde head close to her chest, while Katie tried to look with interest at what was occurring across the meadow. "Big" the little girl called pointing at the monument. Michaela nodded wordlessly and took a deep intake of breath. Husband and wife stood and watched as the men wrestled the monument for the ground. They moved cautiously forward as all eyes turned to them, those that had struggled eager to see what was under the tarp. Sully kept his hand pressed firmly in the small of Michaela's back, supporting her both physically and emotionally.

The driver seemed oblivious to Michaela's obvious discomfort and cheerfully held out a knife for Michaela to cut the tarp. Seeing his wife's hesitation Sully stepped forward and unsheathed his own blade. With two quick motions he slashed the ropes that kept the tarp in position. The grey fabric fluttered to the grass, revealing what it had hidden. Sully took a step back to take in the detail of the work, while the carving was beautiful and the lettering pristine in its precision, with a Latin quote taking the first billing and in relatively small size lettering Marjorie's name and birthday and death date beneath; the monument would be ostentatious even for Boston and sat as it was in the meadow it looked plain ridiculous. Sully glanced about and noticed how many who had helped were retreating fairly rapidly from the meadow, turning to face Michaela he could see why, her eyes were filled with tears and her colour was rising rapidly. Taking a step forward Sully engulfed his wife and daughter in his arms holding Michaela upright as her sobs came hard and fast.

* * *

Matthew helped Robert E lower the casket the blacksmith had been working on to the ground. The livery man was suffering with a sore back after he had helped to heave the huge monument to the ground the day before.

"I don't think it will fit though," he continued his conversation

Robert E nodded in agreement and pushed his hat back up his head "Think it'll need foundations too, else it will sink in the mud. It's a lota work"

Matthew nodded "Thing is way Dr Mike is feeling, I'd doubt she'd want to pay anyone to do it, and Sully won't do it, you know how he feels about the graveyard"

"Don't dig in it less it's for a body" Robert E muttered sagely "Feel the same way"

"Way I see it Marjorie's already got a gravestone, I don't see why she sent this thing, it just all seems to pointless and over the top" Matthew sighed

"I sent it..." both men turned, horrified at the sound of Elizabeth Quinn's voice "... because it is a replica of the monument situated on the family plot in Boston, and as Michaela has made it perfectly clear that her and my grandchildren will be remaining here in Colorado Springs no matter what. I have seen fit to ensure that there is the appropriate burial provision available to the family."

Matthew gulped several times, looking like a fish out of water. He found his manners quickly enough and stepped forward dutifully kissing his adopted grandmother on the cheek "It's good to see you. Why didn't you let us know you were coming?"

Elizabeth looked Matthew up and down with an ill disguised air of contempt at his attempt to gloss over what she had clearly heard of their conversation. "I will not be staying long; I came to pay respects to Marjorie and to ensure that the monument is properly situated. I take it Michaela is in the clinic" not waiting for an answer Elizabeth gave Robert E a curt nod and strode off down the street towards the clinic.

Matthew watched the older woman march off on her quest and threw down his tools. "I better find Sully"

* * *

Michaela smiled slightly as she watched Katie imitate her sheet folding technique by scrunching up the small cloth square that Michaela used for wiping her hands with; no matter how terrible she felt Katie always managed to cheer her up. Moving to the cot where Katie sat she sat down beside her daughter and pulled the balled up cloth square from Katie's hand. "That's very good sweetheart, but shall we try a different way?" she flattened the fabric out on her lap "can you make a triangle?"

Katie contemplated her request for a few moments before grabbing the corner of the cloth and attempted to fold the fabric diagonally in half. Michaela beamed and gathered Katie in her arms, smothering her little girl in kisses and causing the little girl to erupt in a fit of giggles "You're so clever"

The bell rang, interrupting their play and cuddle. Michaela rose slowly, Katie still in her arms and crossed to her desk "Come in"

The door swung open and Elizabeth marched in "Mother!" Michaela exclaimed in shock.

"Michaela" Elizabeth stated plainly, her face fixed and rigid.

"Gamma" Katie called sending her grandmother a beaming smile, oblivious to the tension that had appeared in the room.

Elizabeth smiled lovingly at her granddaughter and reached to stroke Katie's soft blonde hair "Hello angel"

"Mother, I..." Michaela started but Elizabeth held up her hand.

"I came to inform you that I will be arranging the setting of the monument, I will handle all the expense. I will be staying in the local establishment" she said coolly

"Mother that's not necessary, you can stay with us or here at the clinic" Michaela offered, despite her mother's tone. Inwardly she felt like a hand had gripped her heart and was squeezing tightly, her mother had obviously been dwelling on Marjorie's death and despite how their relationship had appeared when Elizabeth had last left Colorado Springs it was obviously damaged again.

"No Michaela" Elizabeth almost whispered "I will stay at the hotel, but I would appreciate if I could spend some time with my grandchildren"

"Of course" Michaela said without hesitation, eager to please.

Elizabeth nodded in gratitude "If you will excuse me"

Michaela watched mortified as the door swung shut behind her mother. "Gamma angy" Katie muttered staring at the closed door.

"Yes darling I fear she is" Michaela kissing Katie on the forehead.

The toddler glanced up at her mother, noting the expression on her mother's face "Mama sad" Katie extended her arms and wrapped her hands around Michaela's neck indicating she wanted to give her a hug "Feel better" she kissed Michaela's cheek "Kiss it better"

"Thank you sweetheart" Michaela held her daughter tightly, taking comfort from her little girl's actions.

She looked up as the door to the clinic opened and Jake stepped in "Jake"

Jake twisted his hat in his hand "Had to call a town meeting Michaela, bout your mother and the monument," he looked awkwardly at her "Thought I'd walk you over"

* * *

The impromptu meeting was surprisingly full, many people eager to see how the council would handle Michaela's notorious mother. The council sat at the table under the steely gaze of Elizabeth, patiently waiting for Robert E to arrive.

"I simply don't understand the reason for this" Elizabeth directed at the council "My daughter's grave is my concern, hardly an issue for the town council"

"I'm afraid it is" Robert E informed her as he walked into the church. He approached the table and placed a reassuring hand on Michaela's shoulder "I measured" he told Jake, shaking his head as he sat down.

"Mrs Quinn" Jake addressed Elizabeth "We were concerned about the size of the monument so Robert E measured the area around the grave to see if it would fit."

"I'm afraid that it would cover two other graves" Robert E told Elizabeth, unable to keep eye contact with the woman as her blue eyes burned into him.

"Therefore" Jake cast a sideways look at Michaela as she sank low in her chair knowing what he was about to say "As Mayor I have to forbid you to put up the monument on Marjorie's grave"

"Forbid me" Elizabeth's voice sounded strangled.

"Yeah" Jake looked away from her suddenly finding the wood grain on the table very interesting indeed "my word is final" he brought the gavel down on the table.

Elizabeth stared at the council for a split second before rising to her feet and bustling out of the church.

Michaela shot a pained look at the council members who shrugged in way of apology and rose, rushing from the church to catch up with her mother.

Outside the church Michaela was surprised by how fast her mother was walking, so fast in fact that Michaela was forced to run to catch up with her.

"Mother"

"I cannot speak to you at this time Michaela" Elizabeth hissed in anger

"Mother please" Michaela fell along side Elizabeth "Please stop. You have to understand why Jake had to do this"

Elizabeth snorted in derision and continued to stride toward the Golden Nugget where she was staying after the temporary closure of the Chateau.

"You have to have known that Jake can't allow you to erect the monument knowing it would cover the other graves" Michaela attempted to reason. She stopped as Elizabeth climbed onto the porch of the hotel. Elizabeth turned abruptly, surprising Michaela and causing her to take a step back under the fierceness of her mother's stare.

"I _understand _Michaela that Marjorie would not be dead if it had not been for you coming to this backwater town to help these ignorant fools. I _know_ that she would still be alive if you hadn't tried to play God and I _can't allow_ myself to forgive you for that" Elizabeth turned as her hateful words died in the air and rushed into the hotel, leaving Michaela shaking in the street.

* * *

Sully slowly padded down the stairs to sitting room. Michaela sat crumpled in one of the wing back chairs, staring listlessly into the fire.

"You said you were coming up" Sully knelt beside her.

Michaela stiffly rotated to face him, her face red and swollen from the tears that she had already shed. "She blames me" her voice came in shuddering breaths as her diaphragm tried to recover from her sobbing fit "she blames me for Marjorie's death"

Sully shook his head and took her hand into his, kissing it gently "No she don't, she was angry and upset and you were there"

Michaela blinked back her tears "You didn't see her Sully, see the way she looked at me or hear the way she spoke" she turned her face away from him as the tears started to roll down her face "She hates me, my own mother hates me"

Sully reached forward, pulling Michaela from the chair and into his lap so he could hold her properly as he knelt on the floor. He rocked her as he would rock Katie, vainly trying to sooth away his wife's pain. "She don't hate you" he kissed her silk like hair "I promise you she don't"

The sound of creaking floorboards distracted him and he looked towards the stairs, to the two young men staring with concern down at them through bleary eyes. Seeing that Sully was dealing with their mother's heart wrenching sobs Matthew pulled his younger brother up the stairs, leaving Sully to comfort Michaela.

* * *

Brian stared at the uncovered monument; he simply couldn't understand how a lump of stone could cause so much pain. Yawning he made his way towards the school house. It had been a long night Neither he or Matthew had slept well, both of them half listening out for sounds of their mother in distress, and Katie, who had been thrilled at bunking in with her brothers had been intent on sleeping in both of their beds for exactly the same amount of time, had constantly been getting up and down and switching beds in an attempt to achieve an even split. The whole situation was just a mess. As he approached the building a thought struck him and he paused, unable to walk as his tired brain formulated a plan. Grinning to himself he pivoted and began to move in the direction from which he had come.

He stopped in front of the in dispute monument, his eyes scanning the abundance of space on the smooth stone slab in the centre, space which would if Elizabeth had her way would be filled with the names of her descendants who passed away while in Colorado Springs. Enough space that it wouldn't be filled for generations. His grin widened and he took off running again heading for town.

He dodged his way between the carts and horses and jumped up into the Barber shop. Jake jolted with surprise nearly slicing Loren's neck open as he slid the razor across the other man's skin.

"Jeez Brian" Jake chastised him "I nearly took Loren out"

"Mr Slicker I got an idea" Brian cheerily announced "about the monument"

"Aww Brian" Loren flicked Jake's hand out the way "we already decided"

"Hear me out Mr Bray" Brian dropped his book strap on the bench "Most of the crosses are wood right? Wood rots, and there's all that space on the slab in the middle, what if we put everyone's name on it, everyone who died."

"Everyone buried in the graveyard" Jake mused closing his razor and chucking a rag at Loren.

"A memorial to the whole town, that way everyone gets remembered, and Grandma still gets her fancy memorial" Brian continued

"Ah Elizabeth will never go for that" Loren scoffed wiping the shaving foam from his face.

"It's a compromise," Brian pointed out "The town is compromising by having that big thing in our little graveyard like Grandma wants and she's compromising by having the names on it" he looked up at the two men hopefully "What do you think?"

Jake smiled "I think it's worth a shot. Go get your Ma, I'll get Hank, Loren you get Robert E"

"She's not in town, I don't think she's coming in she isn't feeling all that great" Brian told Jake awkwardly

"She got Motheritus huh?" Loren joked placing a reassuring arm around the teen boy's shoulders

Jake nodded to Loren and lifted his hat from the hook by the door "Brian you get to school, we'll ride out to the homestead to speak to her" he looked pointedly at Loren as the shop keeper opened his mouth to complain.

"I s'pose the Reverend can watch the store for a little while longer" Loren relented "It's a good idea Brian" he whispered to the young boy "Just hope the women go for it"

* * *

Michaela watched as Katie played with her toy bricks, a small smile on her lips as the little girl studied each side of the cubes, deciding which painted side would best suit the pattern she was creating on the rug.

Distracted by her daughter Michaela didn't hear the sound of the approaching horses so was shocked by the sound of someone knocking on her front door. Apprehensive she approached the door and cautiously opened it. Seeing it was her fellow council members she opened the door fully.

"Good morning gentlemen" she stepped back to allow the men into her home.

"Hey Dr Mike" Robert E greeted as he slipped inside and made his way to Katie.

The little girl too absorbed in her bricks to pay attention to the visitors yelped as he lifted her into the air. Robert E twisted Katie around and her expression of surprise transformed into a huge smile "Wob E" she greeted him, wrapping her short arms around his neck.

Michaela smiled warmly at him before turning to face Jake "If this is about Mother then..."

"Hold ya horses Dr Mike" Jake removed his hat "Brian came up with an idea"

"Brian?" Michaela looked at him curiously, puzzled as to why her son would go to Jake and not come to her

"Think he got struck by inspiration" Loren explained seeing her bemused expression "and you were out here"

"Well I'm feeling a bit..."

"Mama sad" Katie interrupted Michaela

"No secret's with that one around, eh Michaela" Hank drawled closing the door "Look can we get on; some of us got things to do"

"Right" Jake pulled himself tall "as I was saying Brian came up with an idea. The idea that the monument could be used for everyone in the graveyard"

Michaela considered the suggestion "I think that's a good idea"

"Great" Hank muttered "It's settled"

"No it ain't" Loren stopped the long haired man in his tracks "We still got to speak to Elizabeth" he looked at Michaela "I can do it if you like"

Michaela shook her head "No, I'll do it"

Jake shook his head "No I will, I'm the mayor, I told her no in the first place"

Hank smirked "So much for your decision being final"

* * *

Nervously Jake stepped in front of the door to the room that housed Elizabeth, he removed his hat and ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make himself look presentable. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door. After several moments of silence he turned to leave, figuring the occupant was out.

The door creaked open "Yes?"

Jake looked back at the door and fixed a huge smile on his face. "Mrs Quinn I wonder if we could talk"

Elizabeth opened the door fully, Jake frowned he was surprised to see the formidable woman looking so fragile, it was almost as if she had aged 10 years since he had last seen her "I fail to see what we have to talk about Mr Mayor"

"Well Brian came up with a suggestion about the monument" Jake began, taking note of the way Elizabeth's blue eyes lit up at the sound of her grandson's name "The council think it's a good idea and we wanted to run it by you"

Elizabeth held her arm out indicating for Jake to enter the hotel room. Nodding his head in appreciation Jake stepped inside the room "What did my grandson suggest?" Elizabeth asked sinking into the only chair in the small room.

"That we put everyone's name on it, everyone who's buried in the graveyard. That is be a memorial for the whole town"

Elizabeth looked away from Jake staring into the distance, for a few horribly long seconds Jake was uncertain what she would say. Finally she turned back to face him "I think that is an acceptable solution"

"Great!" Jake gave the older woman a beaming smile "I'll get Robert E right on it" he pulled open the door, but hesitated.

"Was there something else?" Elizabeth asked, her voice sounding tired.

Jake looked over his shoulder at her "Dr Mike's in the clinic, just er..." he trailed off.

Elizabeth regarded him for a few moments "Thank you Mr Slicker" Jake smiled, this time, she sounded sincere.

* * *

Michaela rose at the sound of a knock on the door "Come in" she called crossing to stand in the familiar position that she occupied when accepting patients. Her face fell as her mother walked in.

The two women woman silently regarded each other, eventually the part of Michaela's brain that held her medical knowledge won out over the emotion processing part and she stepped forward concerned with the pallor of her mother's skin.

"Are you feeling alright?" she asked taking hold of her mother and guiding her towards the examination table

"No" Elizabeth told her plainly

"Can you describe how your feeling?" Michaela held her mother's wrist feeling the pulse.

"I feel terrible, I can't sleep, I can't eat" Elizabeth made eye contact with Michaela. Michaela held her mother's gaze, both women struggling to keep from crying "I'm sorry Michaela"

"I'm sorry too" Michaela whimpered throwing her arms around her mother and hugging her tightly.

"Me too" Katie called running over from her toys to wrap her arms around her mother's legs. Michaela broke her embrace from Elizabeth and bent down picking her daughter up and depositing her on her Grandmother's knee. "You too"

Elizabeth wrapped her left arm around Katie's waist and held her right out for Michaela; pulling her youngest daughter closest to her she smiled faintly. "I'm sorry for those terrible things I said to you. It was inexcusable. Forgive me"

Michaela shook her head "There is nothing to forgive"

Elizabeth squeezed her hand that encircled Michaela's slender waist "I love you so much, you know that don't you?"

Michaela nodded fighting back her tears

"Love me?" Katie asked curiously. Elizabeth gave her granddaughter a radiant smile and brought her lips down to make contact with Katie's blonde hair smothering the little girl in kisses. When she had finished Katie returned the gesture kissing her grandmother directly on the lips "Love Gamma" she turned to her mother and beckoned with her fingers, Michaela bent down she was level with her daughter "Love Mama" Katie whispered, and kissed her on the lips as well.

"Love you" Michaela whispered back. She straightened up and gazed into her mother's blue eyes, "You're not staying at the hotel a moment longer, you will have Colleen's room" it wasn't a request but an order "You are to stay with us until the memorial is ready"

* * *

"Ladies and Gentlemen may I have your attention" Jake called as he stood at the entrance of the cemetery "We come out today for a special reason, to unveil the memorial to those we have loved and lost to the good lord in the sky. Let me introduce the lady that brought us this gift" he took a step back and held his arm out to Elizabeth "I give you Elizabeth Quinn"

Elizabeth took a step forward giving Jake a nod of thanks as he backed away from her. "Thank you Mr Mayor. I am pleased that I am able to give Colorado Springs this gift. I am also pleased having been given the opportunity to review Robert E's fine work at the amount of space that remains, space which I know that had my daughter Michaela not been here would be full" she shot a proud look in Michaela's direction "I would also like to thank Brian who came up with this wonderful idea. Brian if you would do the honours"

Brian released the fabric curtain which until that point had covered the stone monument, the assembled townsfolk clapped in approval as the list of those who had passed was revealed. Each name beautifully carved into the stone surface in the order in which they passed away.

* * *

The ceremony over Michaela walked arm in arm with Elizabeth towards the station "You don't have to leave now Mother, stay a few days"

"Thank you Michaela but I must, I have imposed on your hospitality for too long" Elizabeth told her as the crossed the tracks to where Sully and Brian had stacked her luggage.

"It's no imposition Mother"

"For you maybe" Elizabeth smiled and lowered her head closer to Michaela's "But I feel that Sully is feeling neglected. Two weeks is a long time and I know it can't be easy finding enthusiasm with your mother in the next room" Michaela looked at her mother shocked, Elizabeth chuckled "Come now Michaela I have five daughters" she gave her youngest a knowing look "Now I hope that next time..."

"We'll visit Boston" Michaela interrupted "It's only fair"

Elizabeth gave a sigh of relief "Good, these train journeys are intolerable. I'll wire you when I get to Philadelphia"

"Philadelphia?" Michaela questioned.

"Yes," Elizabeth hugged her "I promised you I would keep an eye on my granddaughter, and that is what I intend to do" she broke apart from Michaela as the train pulled into the station "I love you"

"I love you too" Michaela followed her mother to the train and assisted her up the steps.

Elizabeth safely on board Sully approached Michaela engulfing her in his strong arms.

"What she say that had you looking so shocked?" He asked

Michaela rested her head back against his broad chest and laughed slightly "She was concerned that I haven't been feeling very enthusiastic with her being in the next room"

"Oh"

"mmm" Michaela teased, tenderly stroking his forearm "I have to admit, I can definitely feel my levels of enthusiasm rise though" she turned into him staring up at him coyly

"Oh" Sully grinned at her, his eyes sparking with the thought of what awaited him that night.

They both raised their arms as the train began to pull away, waving even though they were unsure where Elizabeth sat, but the actions were half-hearted as man and wife were too caught up in each other's embrace to focus on anything else.


	2. Reaching for what is mine

_Hi thanks for the wonderful reviews, glad everyone is enjoying it. WIth regards to the title, SylvieTheFanficFreak is correct Nesohto is seven in Cheyenne, I was struggling with what to call the story especially as each 'episode' has a title and I really didn't want to just call it season 7, it was a random lunchbreak inspiration moments (I love those). Anyway hope you continue to like the story, the next chapter is a sort of Preston centric one, let me know what you think, particularly what ya think about new character James. Enjoy!_

Reaching for what is mine

Sully eased the wagon to a stop and leapt to the ground, his companion Senator Diniston, remained seated for a few moments taking in the Spring Chateau, his newest acquisition. Smiling the older man dismounted and crossed to stand by Sully.

"Yes this is wonderful" he held his hand out to the man who had acted as broker in the purchase "An excellent suggestion on your part Mr Sully"

Sully shifted uncomfortable with being called Mr; he deflected his discomfort by holding out his arm, directing the Senator's attention towards the hot springs "The hot springs are over here"

The two men crossed the dirt driveway and moved to where the steam rolled up from the rocky pool "Outstanding" the Senator muttered taking in the view that extended beyond the buildings.

Sully nodded in agreement, Preston sure could pick spots with good outlooks. The senator turned, facing back towards the empty hotel and grounds "and the occupancy rate"

"Always seemed busy" Sully told him folding his arms "And Horace keeps getting wire's 'bout people wantin' to come. Reckon you just need to set a date"

The senator's eyes gleamed and Sully felt as though he could almost see dollar signs flash up. "Well that's excellent, let's set a date immediately, say a week tomorrow, that should give your wife ample time to appoint a physician for the Chateau" the older man smiled at Sully "Now I want to see inside, I need to ensure that an appropriate rate is set"

* * *

Preston placed the last box of his belongings onto the borrowed cart and turned back to face the house that had been his home for only a matter of months, by rights he knew he should feel no emotional attachment to a place that he had spent so little time in but in reality it was something he cared about deeply. This beautiful house that he had so painstakingly designed, that he had pondered over ever detail to the point that Sully quit out of frustration, no longer belonged to him, instead some rich fool from Georgia had bought it as his Mountain Retreat, a man who would probably use it no more than once or twice a year, who wouldn't appreciate the craftsmanship or design features. Preston sighed, there was no point dwelling, the rich fool could do what he liked with the property, he had after all paid the asking price, the only person who had even made an offer, and Preston had needed the money. Now it was back to the room above the bank, his existence and belongings meant for a large house to be squeezed back into two small rooms. Preston exhaled slowly and with watery eyes bade farewell to his former home, just another symbol of his crumbling empire.

* * *

"There you are Dr Mike" Horace called as he entered the general store, Michaela looked up from her shopping and smiled "Been looking for you everywhere" the tall post master breathily told her "These arrived for you" he held out two large envelope "From Chicago, return addresses are hospitals"

Michaela brightened "Thank you Horace"

"Figured they'd be important" Horace tipped his hat and scurried out of the store.

Michaela opened the first envelope and scanned her eyes across the contents, a broad smile forming on her lips.

"Good day Michaela, Good news?" Dorothy asked entering the store

"Oh hello Dorothy" Michaela posted the paper back inside the envelope "Yes, references from Chicago for the Doctor who will be working at the Chateau. Everything seems in order so I can arrange for him to come to town"

"What you need references for anyway, didn't need any when the Reverend appointed you" Loren scoffed returning to the counter as he finished his dusting

Michaela raised her eyebrows "Well had he sought references the town would have probably been less surprised by my gender"

"Must be strange appointin' your competition" Loren changed the subject

Michaela frowned at him "Dr Caulfield will not be competition Loren; he will be a colleague, just as Andrew was"

"A new doctor," Dorothy exclaimed setting her basket on the counter "I must write'n article about it for the next gazette"

Michaela smiled "Maybe you should wait for him to arrive"

"Oh No" Dorothy laughed "It'll be old news by the time he arrives from Chicago"

"Actually he in Denver, visiting relatives, it's where he saw the advertisement for the position" Michaela informed her "Dr Caulfield could be here in a few days"

"That'll be good, Diniston's set a date for the Chateau reopening" Sully joined the conversation, as he entered the store. Lovingly he kissed Michaela on the forehead "Where's Katie?"

"Helping Grace in the cafe" she laughed "Though I believe she is probably being more of a hindrance."

"The Chateau's reopenin'" Dorothy instinctively reached for her writer's pad, which as always was slung around her neck.

Sully nodded "Week Fridey, Senator wanted me ta give you this, for the paper" he held out a notice "Best get this ta Horace so he can send them" he kissed Michaela again "Told Jason Hart I'd give him a hand I might be late for supper"

"Oh?" Michaela looked at him quizzically.

Sully looked up sensing the eyes in the store turn towards him at the mention of the Hart name, the family still attracting attention after the atrocious event that occurred a few years ago. Seeing her husband's discomfort Michaela wrapped her arm around his waist "Loren would you put this on my account, I best wire Dr Caulfield, I'll be back in a little while to pick everything up" she guided Sully out of the store, leaving Loren to tally what she had purchased.

The shopkeeper glanced at Dorothy who was watching Michaela and Sully move up the street towards the station deep in conversation. "You better get printin' that Dorothy" he nodded at the notice clasped in her hand "Doubt a senator will be any less demandin' than Preston was"

* * *

"Now see here, you see, right here, it states that the bank has full rights to call in a loan at any time" Preston pointed to the small print of the document "And as you can see your husband signed the contract I am well within my right to demand the full payment of the loan with immediate effect"

The frightened woman tried to close the door "My husband isn't home right now"

Preston managed to push his shoe into the doorway "Well that's irrelevant, the Bank of Colorado is calling in your loan, and you must provide the money immediately"

The elderly woman tried to close the door again "You will have to wait for my husband" she pushed the door against Preston's immovable foot "Outside"

Preston opened his mouth to demand payment but instead found himself being grabbed from behind. He yelled as he was thrown to the ground, before he had a chance to figure out what was happening, a heavy work boot found contact with his stomach. He grunted in pain and rolled into a ball. Through the pain he just about made out the word 'land'. Stumbling to his feet he came face to face with the customer from who he had come in search of payment, the broad and rugged skinned older man stood tall glowering at him.

Slowly Preston pulled himself to his feet

"Now see here, you are required to..." he dodged as the rancher sent his left arm flying towards Preston's face.

"Get off my land" the rancher bellowed angry at missing the banker.

Preston took a step backwards stumbling against the surrey and spooking the horse which took off at a run. Less inclined to walk back to town than he was with leaving without money, Preston took after the horse and carriage desperately trying to grasp the reins. He stumbled and fell into the dirt and the horse rumbled away at speed. Pulling himself to his feet he gulped as he heard the tell tale sound of a shot gun being cocked. Glancing over his shoulder Preston saw the rancher raise the long barrelled weapon pointing at him.

Words of reason stuck in his throat and he started to run, terrified of being shot. As much as he needed the money it was not worth being shot over. He yelled in terror as a shot hit struck the ground near his running feet, too close for his liking.

* * *

Sully gave a bemused laugh at the sight of Preston walking down the road towards town, normally he wouldn't take comfort from someone's misfortune but Preston wasn't most people. Sully sped his horse up so that he could draw alongside the man quicker; the banker's maroon suit was covered in dust, his usually slicked back hair dishevelled.

"Lose your horse" Sully called with a smirk,

Preston turned and gave him a withering look. Sully frowned at the sight of blood on the banker's face "You alright Preston?" his amusement vanishing and being replaced with concern for the other man.

"Fine thank you Sully" Preston muttered through gritted teeth.

"You're hurt" Sully pointed out not taking the man's answer on face value

"A scratch" Preston hissed

"Let me give you a lift" Sully extended his hand. Preston looked up at Sully with disgust, as if the mountain man's proffered hand was a slab of rotten meat. "Or not" Sully withdrew his hand "Well I'll ride with ya"

"I do not need to be babysat" Preston hissed angrily

"Didn't say ya did" Sully muttered "Just if ya hurt Michaela will wanta check on ya and she won't be happy if I left ya out here on ya own"

"You always do what Michaela tells you?" Preston smirked at the mountain man "Why she really has domesticated you"

Sully scowled at the other man "If you mean by domesticated that I care about folk even if they are like you, then yeah she has"

"Like Me" Preston intoned "and what do you mean by that?"

"You know exactly what I mean" Sully tightened his grip on the reins "You should be careful banker lota people angry at ya. Shouldn't shout down those who are tryin' ta help ya" he kicked his horse to get it moving again, the hooves of the horse showering Preston in yet more dust.

* * *

Michaela shifted nervously as the train came to a rest in the station, despite what she had told Loren a few days earlier there was the niggling doubt in her mind that the new doctor would become competition, after all he was a man, and some in town still favoured being treated by a male. James Caulfield had been the only respondent to her ad in the Denver papers, a man who was searching for semi retirement, a place to begin to wind down as he passed through the autumn of his life at least that was what his wire had said.

She had hoped that Sully would have been able to be with her, but he had been called to the Chateau by the senator. Now as she stood alone she couldn't help but feel apprehensive about the man she was about to meet and the reaction he may have to her. She looked expectantly as passengers began to dismount from the train, her eyes scanning for Colorado Springs newest resident.

"Excuse me my dear" a cheery voice called to her. "Are you from the Chateau?"

Michaela turned in the direction of the voice, her eyes widened as she literally came face to face with a tiny man in his late fifties. The tiny man bobbed from one foot to other reminding Michaela of how Katie looked when she was desperate to relieve herself. The man gave her a disarming smile, his incredibly white teeth shining luminously and the skin around his green eyes crinkling; he pushed his black doctor's bag into his already burdened left hand and extended his right to her "Dr James Caulfield"

"Dr Michaela Quinn" Michaela shook his hand.

She gasped as his tight grip became tighter still, his wide smile becoming even wider "You're Dr Quinn? How fabulous. You know I just naturally assumed you were a man, though obviously you're not. Do you know you're the first female physician I've ever had the pleasure to meet, " Michaela raised her eyebrows unsure how to respond, but she needn't have worried as James carried on his cheery voice moving at a rapid pace "Where was your alma mater? My sister was seriously considering applying but could find no college to accept her, so she ended up being a housewife, such a shame, a waste of intelligence" he glanced at Michaela and then abruptly dropped her hand "Apologies, I tend to get verbose when I'm nervous or excited, so as you can imagine today I'm positively effervescent" he smiled again, a curious expression crossed his face and he suddenly blurted "You have fascinating eyes"

"Thank you" Michaela managed to whispered, rather overwhelmed by the peculiar little man in front of her.

"oof, I've done it again" he gave a tinkling laugh "Apologies I didn't mean to..."

"Oh you didn't" Michaela interrupted him, fearing that the new doctor may begin rambling again "Did you have any luggage?"

"Oh, luggage, my trunk!" James turned abruptly almost knocking Michaela over with his carpet bag. Michaela followed the surprisingly spry man down the platform to where an enormous red leather trunk sat. "I know, I could live in it" James laughed noticing her bemused expression "So, were do you practice, please tell me I'm not replacing you at the hotel" the little man looked mortified.

"Oh No, I practice in town" Michaela pointed in the vague direction of the clinic

"Wonderful, may I see? I have to admit I have a fascination with viewing colleague's places of work" his eyes wandered to her hand "You're married! Do you have children? I'd love to meet them"

Michaela nodded automatically "Of course, you must come to supper, once you're settled at the hotel"

"Yes the hotel, perhaps I should see my office before I see yours, I don't want my new employer to consider me remiss." He grinned at Michaela again and she couldn't help but smile back at her strange new colleague.

"My wagon is just over there" Michaela pointed to where Bear stood tethered.

"Well lead the way my dear"

* * *

"All I'm saying Horace is that if you can just give me an idea" Hank drawled leaning his body across the window of the telegraph office.

Horace looked at Hank appalled "I can't tell you how many people have booked, I took an oath"

Hank smiled as he watched Horace's hand instinctively came to rest protectively on a stack of wire transcripts. "Thanks Horace"

Horace looked at him bemused but nodded a curt goodbye to his long time nemesis.

Wordlessly Hank turned and swaggered away from the station, frustratingly the stack of wires for the hotel had been quite tall certainly a lot more customers than he had booked, still now that Jake was out of the picture he was more able to run his hotel like he wanted. An idea struck him as he spotted Michaela and Brian crossing towards the clinic from the store and he raced to catch them.

"Hey Brian! kid wait up" he called rushing to stand alongside the teenage boy "Got a proposition for you"

Michaela narrowed her eyes at Hank "and what could you possibly have to proposition my son over?"

"Entertainin" Hank told her doing his best to keep a straight face as he saw a flush of disapproval move across Michaela's face "Was thinking about when he played piano, I was considerin' making it a permanent arrangement"

"Play the piano, for customers?" Brian's face lit up

"No" Michaela intoned almost immediately

"Ma-a" Brian whined, elongating the final syllable in protest of his mother answering for him.

Michaela shook her head fiercely "I will not have my 14 year old son working in a saloon"

"I worked there before, to get Taffy, remember" Brian pointed out "And it's a hotel not a saloon"

"Yeah Michaela its respectable, even your Ma has stayed there" Hank smirked at her "It'd be a couple of hours, 6 till 8, keep the folks in the hotel so they order food in and drink from my Bar, it's good business sense."

"But your girls, I don't want..." Michaela started to protest

"If my girls are in the bar between 6 and 8 they aren't doing a good enough job" Hank grinned at her "Come on Michaela, it's just piano. I ain't asking him to do it for free"

"You'd pay me?" Brian's eyes went wide with the thought of earning his own money.

"Quarter an hour, plus tips" Hank stated the terms "Only on a Friday and Saturday, wouldn't want to interfere with his schoolin, and someone will bring him home. Can't say fairer then that Michaela"

"Ma please" Brian looked at her hopefully "That way I'd be able to pay Mr Bray back for the frame, I could save up for college. Please Ma"

Michaela looked from Hank's smirking face to Brian's pleading one and back again, she sighed "I'll consider it" she raised her hand to silence Brian as he stepped forward to plead with her "Hank, Sully and I will inform you once we make a decision"

"I'll look forward to it, Michaela" Hank dipped his head to her and walked off towards the Gold Nugget, pleased that he may just have found an edge on the competition.

* * *

Preston looked up from his balance books as he felt someone enter the bank, on immediate sight of his father he jumped to attention, his back rigid.

"Father. Sir. I didn't know you were coming" Preston rushed towards his father to intercept the man from seeing the books, and the dire figures they held, terrified of the reaction he would get "I would have welcomed you had I known"

Preston Sr. gave him a withering look "Walk with me Preston"

"The bank is open Sir, I can't..."

Preston Sr. gave him a pointed stare and took a step back away from the door revealing a group of bookish looking young men "No Preston the bank is closed. The auditors have come to review the ledgers"

"But, but" Preston stared at his father in a mixture of confusion, horror and shock, completely unprepared or unable to find the words to speak to his father

The men behind Preston senior stepped in their arms laden with paper and brief cases "This bank is the newest acquisition of my bank Preston so I suggest you allow my auditors to do their job"

"Your bank" Preston whispered aghast

Preston Sr. scowled at his youngest son "You forget Preston, business is not about what you know but who you know"

Preston stared at his father indignant "But I didn't ask for your help, I don't want your money"

"No" the older man took a step further into the bank and seized his son's wrist tightly "but your creditors do"

* * *

"I don't see no harm in it" Sully told Michaela sitting down on the bed to remove his boots

Michaela turned in her seat by the vanity, her hand moving her hairbrush slowly through her long locks "But it's the saloon, no matter what the name it's still a..." she stopped struggling to find the right word

"I know what it is Michaela, and I think we've raised Brian well enough ta know how ta treat women right" Sully rose and crossed to be beside her, he lowered himself to his knees so that his eyes were level with his seated wife "He's capable of makin' his own decisions" tenderly he took the brush that hung in Michaela's hand "Hank is a business man, ya may not like what business it is, but he ain't gonna let his staff fraternise he wouldn't make any money. All Brian's gonna do is play piano, it ain't like Hank'll have him serving behind the bar." He leaned up and gently kissed her creased brow "I know ya want to keep him safe, but this ain't the time ya need to be doin' it."

Michaela sighed "But he's only 14"

"He's almost a man, you gotta start treatin him like one" Sully reasoned with her "I know it's tough, but it ain't like Matthew bein' sheriff or Colleen gettin' married, it's just piano he can't get hurt" he kissed her softly again, this time on the lips. "Besides I think you got more to worry about then Brian playing piano, like what your gonna cook for supper tomorrow"

Michaela looked at him quizzically "tomorrow?"

"Yeah, the new doctor, met him earlier, said ya invited him to supper tomorrow" Sully grinned at her "He's quite a talker ain't he, was fascinated when he figured out I was married to ya"

Michaela troubled expression vanished as her mouth pulled into the familiar smile that Sully loved so much "I invited him to supper once he was settled in"

"Guess he's settled" Sully smiled at her "Don't think you should be brushing your hair, I'm only going to mess it up" he rose and took her hand pulling her with him towards the bed. Michaela giggled as he lowered her down onto the mattress his well trained fingers gently stroking her cheek as he positioned himself beside her, his lips finding hers, kissing away her concerns.

* * *

Preston sat listlessly, watching as his father's employees went about their business in town, visiting those who owed the bank money, they were having greater success than he had in getting back money from those who owed, either taking the money or the item. Today he'd seen at least two horses and a surrey being reposed and he had no doubt that there would be homes being reposed and placed on the market. Having spent years trying to impress his father he was well versed in how ruthless the man could be when it came to money, it was something he had tried to emulate but he'd failed, his want to be liked too great, his need to be accepted getting in the way but he had failed at that as well.

He sat up straight as he caught sight of objects being removed from the bank, familiar objects, his belongings; he rose from his position and rushed towards the green door.

"What do you think you are doing?" he demanded of the men who had deposited one of his trunks onto a cart.

"Mr Lodge has ordered these to be sent back to Boston" the man told him without fully looking at him

"These are my belongings' not that banks" Preston attempted to pick up the trunk but was unable to as it was too heavy

"Yes sir, and Mr Lodge told us you will be returning with him to Boston" the second man told him, stepping into the doorway and preventing Preston from passing into the building.

"I am not" Preston tried to push past the man "Now see here, I want to speak to my father, immediately"

"Mr Lodge has left for his hotel in Denver he will be back tomorrow" the man blocking his path informed him. "Sir you cannot enter the bank, only employees of the bank may enter"

Preston took a step back aghast "But this is my home, where am I supposed to go?"

"I would suggest the hotel sir" the man in the doorway told him with a smirk "Good day sir" The man quickly pivoted and closed the heavy green door behind him.

Preston stared at the solid door, purposefully built to keep people out, an air of defeat passing over him, his shoulders sagging under the weight of hopelessness. His world was falling apart, and when once he would have just turned to his wallet to fix the problem now all he would find in there was dust. He had used his own money to prop up the bank's finances and he literally had nothing, at best he could probably scrape a nickel, certainly not enough to pay for a hotel room, not even enough for a meal at Grace's.

He turned abruptly as a hand came to rest on his shoulder, he was surprised to see Robert E.

"Can't offer you a room" the blacksmith told him quietly, the man perceptively understanding his plight "but you're welcome to sleep in the livery, the forge is banked down, but it'll be warm"

Preston stared at him "Why are you..." he stopped himself from finishing his sentence, he knew that the folk in town were kind, one of the reasons that he had never seemed to fit in. "I can't pay"

Robert E shook his head "No matter" he turned away from Preston, heading towards the cafe.

Preston watched him for a few moments before taking a few steps forward to catch him "Robert E wait" slowly the black man turned round and stared at him, with his sad knowing eyes "Thank you" Preston whispered "Thank you"

"Like I said, it's no bother" Robert E tipped his hat "Good night Preston"

* * *

Michaela set the bowl of green beans on the table and took her place at the table, she smiled warmly at the men who were already seated. The table was awkward, Brian was still in a sulk over Hank's offer and her hesitance to allow him to work at the saloon, and the new doctor was uncharacteristically silent, having been unable to engage in a conversation with Brian nor the usually quiet Sully and finding that he would get only one word answers had resorted to alternating between smiling inanely and pulling faces at Katie, delighting the little girl who was chuckling away.

"Do help yourself" Michaela encouraged, turning to her right to cut the food in Katie's bowl into manageable pieces so that Katie would be able to eat them easily, thereby removing any frustration her daughter would have which could evoke a food throwing incident. Katie giggled her eyes focussing beyond her mother and Michaela turned her attention away from the bowl. She suppressed a laugh at what could only be described at the mountain of food that James had piled onto his plate.

James caught her bemused expression and smiled apologetically "Apologies my dear, I should have warned you, I have a voracious appetite, always have." His smile broadened as he ladled gravy over the potatoes, mutton and greens "It's positively adolescent, like I have hollow legs, I'm sure you find it with this one" he nodded at Brian "It's a wonder I don't resemble a ball really, the amount I eat, though I expect it is my nervous energy that keeps me rake like. Apologies I should have informed you"

"Oh no it's fine, it's more than fine, it's nice to see someone appreciates my cooking" Michaela smiled knowingly at Sully.

"Ma's not that much of a cook" Brian sullenly added "Colleen used to do all the cooking"

"I've only been cooking for the last seven year" Michaela clarified "In Boston we had servants, but the majority of the time my food is edible" she blushed,

James nodded through a mouthful "No complaints here" he added after he swallowed. He set down his cutlery and studied the children for a few moments "Sully, Michaela I have to say your little one is positively angelic" he considered Brian for a few moments "and I'm sure Master Brian would be very handsome once he stopped scowling" Brian's head shot back in alarm at the same time as Michaela looked down embarrassed, James turned crimson as he saw Michaela's discomfort "oof, Apologies, I didn't mean..."

"Bwian wan pay panno" Katie interrupted James, miming with her little fingers on an imaginary keyboard

"Brian has been offered employment to play piano" Michaela clarified "at the saloon"

"Ah I see, the maestro in the whorehouse" James grimaced as soon as the word came out of his mouth "Apologies that was not suitable lexis for the dinner table. I must admit that I do enjoy good music, perhaps Brian could be the cultural compass for the town. Oof I..." he shook his head "Apologies I do that, involving myself when it's not my business. I shall busy myself with masticating and keep silent on the matter" he gave Michaela an apologetic smile.

"Ma" Brian looked at her pleadingly

Sully lowered his fork "Brian ya Ma and I are considerin' it, we ain't said no and we ain't said yes"

The table resumed the uncomfortable silence, the only sound that of metal against china. Katie bored with her bowl of carefully prepared food pushed it away from her and gave the table a beaming smile "oof" she uttered quietly.

James looked up from his food laughing "Apologies my dear, I appear to have corrupted your angel" he smiled warmly at Michaela

Seeing the reaction she had garnered from her new favourite playmate Katie made the noise again, this time louder "oof"

Michaela lovingly stroked Katie's soft blonde hair "She likes to imitate people, she's at that age"

"Oof" Katie called gleefully

"Now now, little one" James addressed the toddler "You should imitate your mother, she appears to be a far more interesting subject then I"

Katie appeared to consider the man's suggestion for a moment before looking up at her mother with a serious gaze "Sully" she gave a dead on impression of her mother speaking her father's name. The table erupted into laughter and the little girl wriggled happily in her seat, pleased at being centre of attention.

As the laughter died, James leant in towards Michaela "Thank you for allowing me into your beautiful home" he smiled at her "your family is wonderful"

Michaela smiled back at the small man, before turning her head towards Sully, her smile forming into smile that was reserved only for him, a smile that could only be shared between soul mates.

* * *

Sully stared at Robert E in surprise. "He stayed at the livery"

Robert E nodded and lowered the horse shoe he had been beating into the bucket of water "Yep, I'm tellin' you Sully I never seen a man look so broken"

Sully turned and faced the bank, taking note of the small crowd who stood admiring the new sign, the new branding, that showed that the bank was part of the empire owned by Preston Sr. "So the old man just took it over"

"Yep, folks been coming in all morning, notice went up saying, bank under new ownership and that everyone's money was safe" Robert E examined the cooled shoe.

"Ya seen Preston?" Sully asked his voice tinged with concern.

Robert E shook his head, reaching inside his vest pocket he pulled out a nickel "Was gone when I got here, but he left this" he showed Sully the coin "and he scratched 'thank you' in the dirt"

"Preston scratched in the dirt?"

Robert E nodded sagely "Think he's as low as he can go"

"Thanks Robert E" Sully nodded in concern growing for a man he normally hated. Quickly he mounted his horse and spurred it into action moving away towards the Chateau.

* * *

Preston Sr. angrily clicked his gold pocket watch closed, the train was due to leave in moments, all the business at the bank had been attended to and all of his wayward son's belongings were packed on the train, now all he needed was his wayward son. Withdrawing his son's ticket from his wallet he crossed to the ticket office.

"I believe my son will miss the train" he told Horace exasperated, barely giving the post master time to acknowledge his presence "You will hold his ticket for him and see that he gets the next train" Horace nodded taking the ticket and setting it to one side. Frustrated Preston Sr. turned away from the small office and made to mount the train, his son would miss this train but he would not, he had spent enough time in this so called town and he was eager to get back to civilisation. As he pulled himself up onto the carriage he spotted his son striding across the platform "You've deigned to arrive I see" he grimaced at his son's dishevelled appearance "I expect you to attire yourself appropriately when we arrive in Denver..."

"I'm not going" Preston told his father, "and I expect the prompt return of my belongings,"

"Don't be ridiculous boy"

"I am 32 years old sir, I am not a boy" Preston stood his ground, holding his father's fierce gaze.

Preston Sr. held the safety bars on the train, his knuckles white with the strength of his grip "You are my son and you will do as I say"

"If you will not return my belongings I shall charge you with theft" Preston challenged his father.

"Theft!" the older man laughed "everything you own I gave you the money for, even the bequest from your grandfather came from me, you would have nothing if it wasn't for me"

"I do have nothing," Preston countered "I sold everything I own to shore up that bank and you have stolen that from me, now return my belongings immediately..."

"Stop acting in this foolish manner" Preston Sr. ordered "Get on the train. We are going home to Boston"

"Colorado Springs is my home"

"You consider this dustbowl to be your home" the senior Preston laughed at the idea "You are from civilised stock Preston"

"I am from well dressed stock who possess airs and graces Mr Lodge" Preston raised his voice above the whistle of the train "civilised cannot be applied to a man who has his sons box for his amusement" he smiled at the sight of his father's face turn red with fury

"If you do not get on this train immediately I will no longer consider you a son of mine" Preston Sr. threatened

"My belongings" Preston ignored the threat, his well maintained facade crumbling slightly as he struggled to keep his face straight.

The senior man turned and entered the carriage returning momentarily with a carpet bag. Callously the man threw it at Preston's feet "Your belongings" he smiled malevolently "I estimate that is about all you own. I always knew you would fail" the train began to roll from the station and he turned entering the carriage.

Preston watched as the train rolled away from Colorado Springs, his bravado fading as the distance increased. He realised he was panting, his whole body shaking from what had just occurred. He was literally alone, with nothing with the clothes on his back and the contents of the bag at his feet which for all he knew was junk. Aware that everyone in the station was watching him he did his best to act nonchalantly as he bent down to pick up the bag. As he straightened up he was surprised to find Horace beside him. The post master held out his hand, a small pile of notes clasped in his slender fingers.

"You're refund" Horace forced the notes into Preston's hand, his hand lingered a moment longer than necessary causing Preston to look up and make eye contact, Horace gave him a reassuring nod before retreating back to his office. Preston looked down at the crumpled notes in his hand, he was fighting back tears and he had no clue what to do now. All he faced was uncertainty and he didn't know where to begin.

* * *

"Hank" Michaela addressed him as she stepped alongside the table in the cafe where he was sat smoking a cigar.

"Michaela" he returned her abrupt greeting.

"I came to inform you that I am allowing Brian to take up your offer, providing that you uphold your promises" Michaela was conscious that Brian had risen from his table on hearing his name and was moving towards them.

"I'll keep 'em" Hank told her with a smirk "anything to keep ya from lecturin' me Michaela"

Michaela frowned but bit her tongue as Brian reached her "Really Ma I can play at the Gold Nugget?" her son smiled happily at her

Michaela nodded distracted by the large group of town folk who were congregated around one of the tables "There will be ground rules which Sully and I will outline to you, but yes you may play at the hotel" she accepted Brian's warm hug as he embraced her and Katie who she carried on her hip. Hitching Katie's increasing weight up her hip she turned and studied the group of noisy towns folk "What's going on?"

Hank smirked and exhaled a plume of smoke "Preston caused a big scene at the station with his father"

"Oh?" Michaela turned to Brian for clarification

"Mr Lodge Sr. disowned Preston because he refused to return to Boston" Brian informed her.

Michaela's face clouded with concern "Where is Preston? Is he alright?"

Brian shrugged and reached his arms out for his little sister, taking her from his mother and bouncing her in his arms "Sully went to look for him. Said he'd be back later. Said for you not to worry he got a plan"

* * *

Sully pulled his horse to a stop and dismounted, hitching the leather reins to the post, he climbed the steps of the home he had mostly constructed. He regarded the makeshift camp on the porch way and sighed.

"Going to have me arrested for trespassing?"

Sully turned to find Preston standing at the foot of the steps a bucket of water in his hand that he had evidently collected from a nearby creek. "Nope" Sully told him gently

Preston stared at the other man with confusion, his messed up brain not able to deal with anything beyond a menial task "What do you want then?"

"I came to offer you a job and a bed" Sully told him joining Preston at the base of the steps.

"Michaela would never allow for me to stay under her roof not after I tried to take your home" Preston dismissed him

"Not at our house or the at clinic. At the Chateau's staff house"

"Staff house?" Preston stared at Sully as if he was mad.

Sully nodded "The doctor's house, I spoke ta James and he would be happy ta share with ya. You'd have to put up with his talkin, but it's better than ya sleepin' out here, specially with winter coming" Sully fixed Preston with a knowing look "beside I might not get ya arrested, but other's might"

Preston frowned at what Sully was implying "and the job?" he asked trying to stay positive.

"Chateau needs a manager, Diniston wants me ta find one, reckon you're the only one round here who knows anything bout hotellin" Sully noticed Preston's jaw tense "I know it would be strange, but ya would get to run the hotel how ya want, long as you turn a profit Diniston ain't gonna bother you" Preston regarded Sully with a puzzled expression, this was a man who since his arrival in Colorado Springs he had systematically tried to belittle or worse, yet he was helping him. Sully instinctively picked up on what Preston was thinking and placed a caring hand on his shoulder "I help those that need it, I ain't fixing it for ya, just given you a start" Sully turned and moved back up onto the porch to gather Preston's meagre belongings "Now lets get going, ya got alot of work with the hotel reopening tomorrow"

"I haven't accepted" Preston called as Sully began packing his belongings.

"But ya will" Sully told him "Ya told me you were gonna get your hotel back, this is a start"

"But it wouldn't be mine" Preston reasoned "I would just be running it for someone else, lining his pockets"

Sully leaned over the hand carved banister "Preston, if money was what was important to ya, you would have left with ya father on the train." Hefting Preston's solitary bag onto his shoulder Sully descended the steps. "Come on" he quickly mounted his horse, after he positioned Preston's bag in front of him he held out his arm to the other man "Ya gonna accept a lift this time?"

Wordlessly Preston took Sully's hand and allowed the other man to help him up onto the horse. He cinched his arms around Sully's waist to prevent himself from falling and Sully kicked the horse into action, taking Preston to begin his very different life.


	3. Cynthia

_Thanks guys, Preston always frustrated me, most of the time he's an idiot but then times you see the human side of him, so I decided to bring that out, which will be later on in the story, I always felt that he acted that way to please his dad and that's why I got him out of the picture as then the only person he has to please is himself. It's quiet interesting that the last chapter took me literally to the last minute to finish, where as the first part of this story I wrote in one shot (pre editting) with this one I have to apologise for the end, I know it may appear a little rushed but I was struggling to make it sound right and I've had a very hard week at work (office move finished work on THursday at 10 past 12 in the morning so lost alot of writing time this week) also I know the title i rubbish but couldn't think of anything else *Rollseyes* so may I introduce you to Cynthia the second new character. Also little warning there is a injury in this which if you are of a nervous disposition you may not like._

_Thanks for reading_

_Kate_

* * *

Cynthia

Brian raced across the meadow with several of his school friends. They had all spotted the wagon outside the empty shop by the library, the wagon of the sign makers from Manitou. They were all interested as it meant that someone new was moving in to the shop, possibly even the town and they were eager to see what the new business would be. Brian skidded to a halt alongside the wagon, curious to see what was in the canvas wrapping. The sign maker smiled at the assembled children and continued with his work, carefully lifting the rounded sign from the bed of the wagon. With great care he removed the canvas; ensuring that he did not reveal the wording to the assembled children, he climbed his ladder and went about fixing the sign to the wall. His work complete he moved in a way that allowed the children to see what had been placed on the building's facade. The white sign with elegant gold leaf calligraphy style writing read.

_Dressmaker and Seamstress_

_Cynthia Matheson_

Brian grinned and pivoted rushing back across the street towards the clinic. Glancing through the window of the clinic as he passed, he could see his Ma sat at her desk with Katie, and that she had no patient to tend to. Not stopping to knock, Brian rushed in causing both his mother and sister look up in alarm.  
"Ma, there's a new shop" Brian told her breathily, "It's a dressmaker"

Michaela smiled "Well that is good news" she bounced Katie slightly on her knee "You won't have to resort to your Ma making your clothes" she told her daughter conspiratorially, nervously fingering the rough hem of Katie's dress. Katie was growing so quickly these days that by the time that the dresses she ordered from catalogues arrived Katie could only wear them once before she outgrew them. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yeah" Brian sank onto the bench beside Michaela's desk "We studied poetry, Mrs Slicker wants us to write a poem on a subject, three different ways to show how different formats can create different atmospheres and change the way we view words"

"That sounds like a very interesting project" she smiled at her son

"Shame Sully is away working, I know he'd good with poems" Brian sighed

Michaela sighed heavily, Sully had only been gone for two days but she had potentially another three weeks before he returned from his work trip, she missed him terribly already. "Well Katie and I worked on her letters, didn't we sweetheart" she kissed the top of Katie's head "Do you want to show Brian?"

Katie nodded enthusiastically "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, Nnnnnnnnnnnnn" Katie stopped scrunching up her face as she tried to remember the next letter. "I forgets"

"That's real good Katie" Brian assured her "You got more letters this time, and you got them all in the right order." He tickled his little sister who squirmed delighted on her mother's lap. "What time did you want to go home tonight Ma?" he looked up at Michaela, he grinned as he watched her stifle a yawn "Looks like Katie tired ya out"

"Mmm, I think she has" she stifled another yawn before addressing his previous question "I have an appointment in 10 minutes, so we will go home when I have completed that" Michaela told him glancing at the clock.

Brian reached forward and pulled Katie into his arms "Come on Katie lets go get some candy from the store" he turned quickly. Michaela watched her two children depart with a loving smile, a notion occurred to her and she rushed to the door

"Brian!" Michaela called after her son "Don't tell Loren about the dress shop?" she cautioned her fleeing children. She shook her head with a small smile imagining what Loren's reaction would be to the news.

* * *

"What!" Loren bellowed staring at Brian in disgust

"It's going to be next door to the library" Brian continued

"It's outrageous" Loren banged his hand against the counter. Katie gave a whimper and turned her head into Brian's shoulder

"Now Loren" Dorothy set her basket on the counter and took Katie from Brian's arms "You're scarin' Katie,"

"I don't mean ta" Loren softened "I just don't see how it can be allowed" Hank chuckled as he set his crate of whiskey on the counter beside Brian "and you can button it as well" Loren shot at him.

"Sounds like your scared of a little competition there Loren" Hank needled his friend. "Maybe I should send over another one of my girls for you to fleece"

"Aah I didn't fleece Emma, we had an arrangement" Loren frowned deepened "An' she was a good worker, when she got work"

"Now Loren, you know you only make 10% on anything you order from a catalogue, and she's only a dress maker you'll still get all the men buying their clothes from you" Dorothy pointed out, bouncing Katie and making the little girl smile.

"Exactly" Brian nodded fiercely

"And what would you know about competition" Loren shot at the young boy.

"Competition challenges you to act smart in your business, makes you try new things, like me playing piano in the Gold Nugget" Brian told him wisely

Hank nodded, handing over his payment for Loren "Busier than ever when he plays" Brian beamed at the indirect complement Hank paid him

"I still don't think it's right," Loren moaned

"Now Loren, You're looking at this wrong" the Reverend joined the conversation from his position at the table "We have the joy of a new member joining our town and potentially a new business venture for you Loren"

"What you talkin' about, that shops gonna steal away my business" Loren stared at the blind man like he was insane.

"Don't look at me like that Loren" The Reverend smiled knowingly "The dressmaker will need fabric maybe you can act as her supplier, and I doubt her rates will be any less than a catalogue, you'll still get those who can't afford to buy a dress buying fabric from you"

Loren chewed his lip angrily "Aah I don't know"

"You're just speculatin' Loren" Dorothy handed Katie back to Brian "Now when will you have more sugar in"

"I got sugar" Loren hissed turning to point to the shelf, seeing it was empty he groaned "Ahh, Where did I put my order book"

* * *

The opening of the dressmakers was a modest affair, so modest in fact that most people didn't even notice that the 'opening soon' signed had changed to simply 'open'. There was no fanfare at all just a simple sign change.

It was three days after the event before Michaela realised the store was open, only noticing the sign as she went to return a library book. Her chore over she ventured in, tightly holding Katie's hand to keep her daughter from handling the merchandise.

Inside, the small store was fairly dark, the walls lined with bolts of fabric of every type and colour that she could imagine, near the centre of the room was an elaborate sewing table complete with a state of the art machine and beyond that a beautiful white silk screen embellished with lace and beads.

"Hello?" Michaela called to the back of the store.

"Hello" a female's voice tinged with a soft Scottish accent replied from behind the screen. Slowly the person whom the voice belonged to appeared, the woman was tall, very tall, her slender body encased in an elegant black gown, her appearance suggested that she was in her late fifties and she was pulling back long auburn hair into a ponytail.

Michaela smiled warmly at the tall woman in front of her "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Michaela Quinn, and this is my daughter Katie" she placed her hand on Katie who seemed to have turned shy and turned into her skirt.

"Cynthia" the tall woman held out her hand "Nice to meet you"

Michaela frowned at the slightly pained look that Cynthia wore "Are you alright?"

Cynthia laughed slightly "Occupational hazard, I got distracted and caught my hair in the machine; I should wear it up when I sew"

"Did you hurt yourself?" the doctor in Michaela came out "If you're hurt I should examine you in my clinic" catching the curious look that Cynthia gave her she added "I'm a doctor, Dr Michaela Quinn, my clinic is around the corner"

Cynthia smiled "I'll keep that in mind for the next time I sew through my fingers" she laughed indicating what she had said was a joke and Michaela joined in "Now what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you made children's clothes" Michaela patted Katie lightly on the head, making Katie peek out from the folds of her skirt "She seems to be growing daily and I can't keep up with her"

"I surely do" Cynthia smiled at the little girl who immediately forced her face back into the folds of Michaela's blue skirt "I can make anything as long as I have the fabric"

"Well that's wonderful" Michaela bent down and lifted Katie into her arms. "If it's possible I'd like to order some for her"

"Why of course" Cynthia held out her hands indicating for Michaela to bring Katie behind the screen. "What I can do is make a button hem" she indicated for Michaela to put Katie on a small podium in front of a floor to ceiling mirror "It will be a separate piece of fabric that you can adjust as she grows taller, it will give you an extra few inches" Cynthia smiled and sank to her knees , the top of her head at the same level as Katie's despite the fact that the little girl who was just under 3ft tall stood on a foot high podium "Can you hold your arms out" Cynthia showed Katie what to do extending her arms so that they were at right angles to her body. Katie looked nervously at her mother who nodded; slowly the little girl extended her arm. Cynthia reached her arms behind Katie, bringing a tape measure around to measure the little girl's chest.

"Are you from Scotland?" Michaela asked trying to fill the silence that she could sense was making Katie uncomfortable.

"Originally from Edinburgh" Cynthia jotted down the reading and moved to the next measurement "My family and I moved over to New York when I was 15." She paused noting down the measurement and began measuring the length of Katie's arms "I've lived in Denver the past 25 years. But, it's difficult to buy property there if you're a woman, despite the money I was left by my husband, the banks are just too nervous at the moment, even if you can pay the full asking price"

"There's always some excuse" Michaela added in agreement.

"Apparently we lack business sense" Cynthia smiled "Despite the fact that I practically ran George's chambers the entire time we were married" she rolled her eyes before she tickled Katie in the tummy, making the little girl giggle "And we're done, now we need to choose a colour" she directed this at Katie who looked thrilled at being given a choice.

After a moment of careful consideration Katie announced her choice "Bue"

"Blue" Cynthia looked at Michaela for approval, Michaela nodded imperceptivity smiling at Katie who seemed to be glowing with pride at having made her own decision "I see" Cynthia stood up "You want to look like your Mammy" she bent down and picked Katie up "I'm sure I have some light blue gingham that would be appropriate" she looked at Michaela "It's 15 cents a yard. The dress will be between 30-40 cents depending on how much fabric I use. I should have it finished by tomorrow."

"That quickly?" Michaela accepted Katie into her arms with surprise.

Cynthia laughed "Little thing like her, won't take me long at all, it's the fixings and prettying that takes the time. I'll bring it over to the clinic when it's done. Now did you want anything for yourself?"

Michaela smiled "I'm afraid not, Katie's the one that's growing not me, and I have no special occasions to dress up for"

"You don't need a special occasion to dress up" Cynthia scanned the racking for the fabric to make the dress.

"I'm afraid I don't much feel like dressing up at the moment" she sighed "My husband is away with work"

Cynthia located the bolt of fabric that she was looking for "Perhaps something for when he returns" she gave Michaela a knowing smile.

"Oh" Michaela blushed crimson "I couldn't... it wouldn't be proper"

Cynthia pulled the fabric out from the racking at set it to one side "Michaela, anything I make for you is between you and I and anyone else you care to wear it for. As I said I can make anything as long as I have the fabric"

* * *

Grace set down the plate of pie in front of Cynthia "There ya are" she smiled warmly and moved away, her bulging belly forcing her to walk with a slight waddle. She approached the cooking area and self consciously pulled her dress down across her bump, at six months pregnant she seemed to be bursting out of every item of clothing that she owned.

"Afternoon Grace"

She looked up as Loren walked into the cafe "Afternoon Loren" she cast a look around the full cafe "'fraid you'll have to share a table, its busy today"

Loren grinned at her "Must be your fried chicken"

"Well I know what you'll be orderin'" Grace gave the older man a smile, "Go find a space an' I'll bring it over"

Loren stood and observed the cafe, it was incredibly busy, every table being used, almost every seat taken; he was left with only two options, join the Slickers or join the elegant auburn haired lady that he hadn't seen before. Judging by the rapid way that Teresa Slicker's hand was moving around as she animatedly spoke at her husband, Loren thought better than joining the mayor and his wife. He approached the auburn haired lady "You mind if I join you? Only Grace's is kind of full" Cynthia scanned the cafe and seeing that he was right nodded her head "Much obliged" he pulled out a seat and sat into it "I'm Loren Bray"

"Cynthia Matheson"

The name meant something to Loren but he couldn't quite put his finger on why, he studied the elegant woman, she was well dressed, attractive, far too refined to be sitting in an open air cafe "You passing through on the train?"

"No I moved here a few days ago" Cynthia gave him a curious stare "Why? Does it look as though I am passing through?"

Loren nodded at her dress "You don't see many folk dressed as nice as you,"

"Oh" Cynthia looked down at her elegant dark forest green satin dress "Thank you"

"Only person who wears things like that on occasion is Dr Mike" Loren continued

"Dr Mike? Do you mean Michaela?" Cynthia asked taking a dainty mouthful of apple pie

Loren chuckled "Only been here a few days and you already met her, she don't wait around that woman"

"She came into my..." Cynthia began, pausing as Grace walked up with Loren's food; she looked Grace up and down taking in the pregnant woman's clothing predicament, she reached into her purse and pulled out a card "You must come see me" she handed Grace the business card and smiled warmly.

Grace scanned the card before glancing down at her burgeoning figure and the way her dress was cinching her belly tightly "I think your right"

"Good chicken Grace" Loren called at her taking a large mouthful.

Grace rolled her eyes at his eating habit "You just make sure you chew it properly, can't have you chokin' again" she pocketed Cynthia's card and moved away.

"So how long have you lived here Mr Bray?" Cynthia asked before taking another mouthful of pie

"Ahh too long" Loren grinned at her "And call me Loren" he took another large mouthful of chicken and Cynthia laughed, her blue eyes glistening with amusement "Something funny?" Loren asked swallowing the food in his mouth and returning her smile.

"You act like you've never eaten before" Cynthia laughed again.

"Grace's chicken is real fine" Loren took a mouthful of potatoes, accidentally spreading gravy over his chin "Almost as good as her meatloaf."

Cynthia laughed again and brought her napkin up to wipe his face "You're worse than a child" suddenly self conscious she lowered her napkin "I should be getting back to work" she nodded her head at Loren as she rose. Loren watched puzzled as Cynthia rushed from the cafe.

After a moment Hank sank down onto one of the seats surrounding the table "Checkin' out the competition huh Loren?"

"Whatcha talkin' about?" Loren looked at Hank incredulous.

"That lady, the one you was makin goo goo eyes over" Hank smirked

"Ahh Hank, I was not makin' goo goo eyes" Loren frowned

Hank snorted in derision and indicated to Grace that he wanted to order "Sure ya weren't" he exhaled smoke slowly from pursed lips.

"An' whatdya mean competition?"

Hank grinned; enjoying bating his friend "That woman" he inclined his head in the direction that Cynthia had just left "she's the dressmaker"

Loren's eyes widened "What!" he rotated his body to stare at the alleyway through which Cynthia had just departed. He felt disappointment, a feeling which was quickly replaced by a wave of confusion. He was supposed to feel anger, not feel disappointed, he sighed quietly to himself, before turning back to Hank, adopting the grumpy expression that Hank expected, inwardly trying to figure out what his emotions meant.

* * *

"Give us a twirl, Katie" Brian called to his sister. The little girl did as was requested, turning quickly in a circle, not understanding the reason for her brother's instruction and so moving far too quickly for her brother's to truly appreciate her new dress.

Matthew laughed and scooped her into his arms "I think you're the prettiest little girl there ever was" he kissed her gently and brought her towards the table. Michaela entered from the kitchen, carrying a bowl of mashed potato "Don't you agree Dr Mike?" seeing her confused expression "Katie's the prettiest little girl there ever was"

"Oh yes" Michaela smiled and took a step back allowing her eldest son to place Katie in her high chair.

"And the smartest" Brian joined them "she did real good with her letters today, got up to S today"

Matthew tousled Katie's hair, "Good job! You could almost spell ya name" he straightened up, and caught Michaela staring at him with watery eyes "Dr Mike, you alright?"

"Oh of course" Michaela smiled widely, a false smile designed to hide her sadness.

"He'll be home soon Ma" Brian told her crossing around to hug his mother tightly; she nodded in understanding, squeezing her youngest son's arm in thanks for his sensitivity. She broke apart from Brian and immediately brightened her smile as she sight of Katie looking up at her with a serious expression.

"Now you need to wear a napkin" Michaela rushed to her daughter and tucked the large white cloth into the neckline of Katie's new dress "I don't want you to get food down your new dress" She stood straight as she felt Matthew place a reassuring hand on her shoulder "Thank you for being so good with her"

"Big brother's job" Matthew told her flippantly moving to his place at the table "gotta spoil her rotten and then chase away the boys when they come calling"

Michaela laughed and sank into her seat; she stifled a yawn, unable to shake the feeling of exhaustion that she had been carrying for the last few days.

"Busy day Ma?" Brian asked

Michaela shook her head "Not especially. I believe I've not been sleeping properly with..." she paused not wanting to say her husband's name in fear of upsetting Katie "I never sleep well alone"

The table fell into an uneasy silence, fearing that their mother was falling into the pattern of silent worry that she so often had when Sully was away, Matthew loudly started a conversation with a pointed look at Brian,

"What was up with Mr Bray today?"

Michaela looked up from her plate curiously.

"I dunno, he seemed kind of preoccupied" Brian looked down at his food "Like he was thinkin' about something"

"Probably frettin' over the dressmaker" Matthew added, pleased to note a small smile form on Michaela's lips "Don't ya reckon Dr Mike?"

Michaela chuckled "I'm sure that Loren is just concerned over his profit margin. He's a shrewd business man, he will be fine"

Brian shook his head "Nah, he seemed kinda of sad" Brian winced as Matthew stamped his foot down on his own in an attempt to prevent him leading the conversation down a line that would cause Michaela to worry "What you do that for?" Brian hissed

"Your foot got in the way, you need to keep it over your side" Matthew glared at his brother.

Michaela laughed and leaned conspiratorially towards Katie "Seems like you're not the only one growing"

* * *

Loren paced along the boardwalk by the library and Cynthia's new shop. He had been up since the early hours of the morning, and in that time he passed through every emotion he thought possible, and tried to consider any and all ways in which he could have a realistic reason for being outside her door at opening, especially as he should be opening up the general store.

"Loren" he spun around to find Cynthia pulling her carriage to a halt.

"I was waiting for ya to open up" Loren explained himself, he stepped forward to help her dismount, she was wearing another elegant dress this time of a deep periwinkle blue, she rose from the carriage and extended to her full height almost a head taller than he, Loren couldn't help but stare at her.

"Do I have something on my face?" Cynthia asked him cautiously, wondering why he was staring at her in the manner that he was. Not gaining a response she crossed to the doorway and unlocked the door "Did you want something Loren?" she held her hand out inviting him to enter her store

Loren shook himself slightly, taking a deep breath he launched into his familiar act "I wanna talk business, see I run the store and I supply everyone in this town and I figured that I could supply you with..." he stopped, his mouth hanging open, taking in the numerous bolts of fabric lining the walls

Cynthia removed her wrap and placed in along with her purse in a draw on her bureau "Tempting though that is Loren, I always choose my fabric's myself, there is a merchant from New York who comes quarterly to Denver" she noted his crestfallen expression "I appreciate that you are a businessman..."

"An' your stealin' my business" Loren hissed, he instantly regretted the words that came out of his mouth but he felt so unsure of himself he wasn't even sure if he was breathing.

Cynthia's jaw clenched "I believe I'm stealing business from the catalogues" sighing she lowered herself into her chair "I do have a proposition though, a mutual venture which could benefit both of us"

Loren folded his arms "I'm listening"

"This is not a town where ladies seek extravagant dresses, most of what I will be making will be relatively simple things, or carrying out adjustments" she fixed Loren with an intense stare "I propose that I make items that you sell in you store"

Loren squirmed under her intense gaze "But I already got suppliers"

"I would better them, whatever they are charging you I would charge you 1 cent less"

"One cent!" Loren laughed

"You laugh but I make you 100 items and I've save you a dollar" Cynthia rose and crossed to stand by him. Loren took a deep breath inhaling her scent, the smell of lavender he gasped as she took a step closer "Think about it"

* * *

Checking to see that the coast was clear Michaela slipped inside the dressmaker, she had been cautious in her approach to the store, frightened that someone would see her, it felt almost criminal what she was doing, and she would be so embarrassed if anyone were to find out what she was about to purchase.

"Hello Michaela" Cynthia greeted her "How can I help?"

Michaela shuffled awkwardly "I would like to commission an item"

"An item" Cynthia repeated. Sensing Michaela's discomfort she rose from behind her sewing machine and crossed to the door. Carefully she locked the door and flipped the sign on the door to closed "What kind of 'item'?"

"Well my husband is away and I would like to perhaps have an outfit to him welcome back which is a bit more appealing then my white shifts" Michaela blushed.

"For the bedroom" Cynthia surmised, Michaela nodded, her face turning red with embarrassment "What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing too complicated, form fitting but something that is easy to take off" her eyes widened at how the words sounded as they came out of her mouth "Sully has difficulty with lots of laces and buttons" she added hoping to add clarity to the description of what she wanted made "He had difficulty on our honeymoon with my corset"

"I see" Cynthia thought for a moment "Perhaps something with ribbons," she smiled at Michaela "And how sheer do you want it?"

"Sheer?" Michaela asked not catching the dressmaker's meaning.

"How much do you want him to be able to see?" she crossed to one of the fabric racks and lifted a light voile.

"Oh no, nothing that risqué, elegant but not ..." Michaela babbled quickly, nervously twirling a strand of loose hair in her fingers.

"Complicated" Cynthia finished for her "I don't think it would be a problem"

"I'll leave you to it" Michaela crossed to the door with her nervousness fumbling with the key in the lock.

"Michaela" Cynthia called her back. "I need to measure you" she laughed slightly at the alarmed expression Michaela wore on her face. She stepped forward and comfortingly placed her arms around Michaela's shoulders "Now don't be nervous, like I said anything you order from me stays between you, me and in this case your husband"

* * *

Michaela exited Cynthia's shop and quickly made her way towards the clinic, she kept her head bowed, her cheeks still flushed pink with embarrassment, and she could hardly believe she had been so bold. It was one thing to have spoken with Dorothy about her nervousness before her marriage and when she was a newlywed but now she had been married for a few years and had a child it simply wasn't done, just as it was fine for her mother to give her that flouncy Parisian negligee as a wedding gift but quite another to actually buy a provocative outfit in the hopes of exciting her husband.

Midway between the hotel and the clinic, she paused and shook her head her doubt and regret of her actions rising, she turned back towards the shop intent on cancelling the order she had just placed. As she stepped up on the boardwalk a scream of agony filled the town. Michaela spun in the direction of the noise. One of the craftsmen at the tents was holding his hand, blood pouring onto the dirt street from between the fingers of his good hand. Michaela rushed across the street. Immediately she raised his arm higher, hoping to slow the rate of bleeding. The man was staggering, shock taking hold of him as his body reacted to the trauma he had been through. Michaela removed her belt from around her waist and looped it around the man's forearm pulling it tightly to prevent him from haemorrhaging to death.

"Help me get him to the clinic" Michaela called to some of the concerned town's folk who had gathered in concern of their friend. Two men rushed forward and grabbed hold of their friend supporting him as they moved towards the stone clad clinic. Michaela paused for a moment scanning the accident site; she frowned at the sight of the chunks of flesh in the wheeled mechanism that he constructed his wares on. She rotated and began to move towards her clinic, with one last glance over her shoulder she tried to estimate the amount of blood he had lost, at the last second she caught sight of one of the man's removed fingers, taking a deep breath she bent down and retrieved the digit from the dirt.

"Do you need help Michaela" Dorothy called, pushing through the crowd to join her.

"No thank you Dorothy, I can manage" she rushed towards the clinic eager to get to her patient "Can you let Matthew know what's happened, ask him to take the children home. I fear this may take a long time"

* * *

"Is that spot particularly dirty?" Cynthia gently teased as she approached the general store.

Loren broke his gaze from the clinic's doorway "What!"

Cynthia smiled, her eyes level with his as she stood on the dust street "You've been sweeping the same spot the entire time I have been walking here"

Loren glanced down at his broom and frowned "Preoccupied" he nodded towards the clinic.

Cynthia followed his gaze "They've been in there a long time"

Loren nodded ruefully "Dr Mike will do a good job, she's a real fine doctor"

"Do you know the man who was injured?" Cynthia asked her eyes drawn to the broom in Loren's hands that he was still subconsciously moving in a sweeping motion.

"Know most people in this town, most of their families too" Loren continued with his sweeping.

"Loren" Cynthia spoke softly, she reached and touched the shaft of the broom "Can you stop for me" he fingers moved over his.

Loren froze; his heart pounding, feeling like it would burst out of his chest. It had been so long since he had felt like this, not since Marjorie. Without conscious thought he leant forward his lips making contact Cynthia's. Cynthia returned his embrace, pressing her lips into his firmly, her hand reaching to hold him in the clinch.

As quickly as it started the feeling was over but the embrace lingered. A feeling of dread passed over Loren and he forced his hand between their torsos, pushing them apart.

"No" he whispered taking a step back "I'm sorry" he dropped the broom and backed through the door of the empty store. He closed the door. Through the glass he could see the hurt and confusion on Cynthia's elegant features, confusion which matched his own.

* * *

Exhausted Michaela closed the door to the clinic, she had spent many hours working on the poor man's hand, and while she hadn't been able to save the severed digit she had managed to save his hand. In time he would be able to use it again. All he could do was rest and let his body heal, and there was little else she could do tonight, so with his family watching him in the recovery room she had been given a reprieve and could head home. Michaela paused, due to the lateness of the hour she had seriously considered staying at the clinic, but the need to be near her family, especially as Sully was away, was too great. She couldn't think of anything she would like more than to bring Katie into bed with her and snuggle down together, she felt as she needed it even more than food. She smiled at the sight of the wagon and Bear loosely tethered to the clinic. Brian had thoughtfully brought the wagon back to town once he and Matthew had returned home, knowing that it would be more comfortable for her to get home in rather than riding Flash.

The street was eerily quiet, even the Gold Nugget was subdued, just the low murmur of a few inebriated locals finishing off their last drink from the bar.

Yawning Michaela crossed to the wagon and deposited her black doctor's bag on the floor. As she reached her hand up to grip the wooden sides a light caught her eye in the window of the church. Puzzled she released her grip and examined the light for a few moments. There was no reason for the Reverend to be in the church in this hour, there was no reason for anyone to be in the church at this hour. Concern for what could be happening made her move in the direction of the church. Nervousness fuelled her tired body and she quickly made her way across the meadow to the white building.

* * *

Loren sat motionless on the pew, His body aching from inactivity. He blinked, his mind firing up again after a short respite of exhausted numbness.

"Why?" he croaked, his voice raspy from shouting and crying "Why do ya make me feel like this?" he directed his question at the wooden cross on the pulpit "Why would ya bring someone like this here, why would ya? After everything..." he stopped unable to continue and slumped down in the seat. " I can't lose anyone else." A tear trickled slowly down his face, falling in a perfect droplet to splash silently onto the floor. "Why?" The floorboards creaked behind him.

"Loren?" Loren remained facing the front as Michaela walked slowly towards him, surreptitiously he wiped the trail of the tear from his rugged face, not wanting to appear weak. "Loren?" she repeated again, lowering herself onto the pew beside him "Are you alright?" gaining no response Michaela took his hand into hers. He flinched and pulled his hand away "Loren? What's happened?"

"I don't want to taint ya" Loren told her in a barely audible whisper.

Michaela frowned with confusion, her sleep deprived brain unable to understand his meaning "taint me?"

"Don't wanna lose anyone else, can't lose anyone else" Loren babbled, trying to shrug out her grip.

Michaela resisted, her grip of his hand unwavering "Lose?" she caught his meeting "I'm not going to die Loren, certainly not from holding your hand"

"You'll die cause of the way I feel about ya" Loren clarified; his head sagging as he silently began to cry.

"Loren, I'm not going to die" she raised his hand to her lips and kissed it "You don't die because of love, you live because of love"

"Marjorie, Maude, Abagail..."

"Died because they were sick" Michaela interrupted "I promise you they, me, Brian, Katie, Dorothy and everyone else you care about did not, and will not die because of the way you feel about us" she looped her arm over his shoulder, pulling him into an embrace. He collapsed into her his body shaking with the force of his sobbing. Michaela sat holding him, unsure of what to do, having never seen Loren act in such a way; tenderly she stroked his arm, much like she would do to calm Katie. "ssh it's alright, it will be alright"

* * *

Brian trotted down the stairs with Katie in his arms, he frowned at the sight of his Ma asleep in one of the wing back chairs, knowing it would mean she would have had poor quality sleep and would most likely be stiff and maybe have some pain, which she would hide. Feeling the need to protect his mother Brian deftly placed Katie in her high chair and pushed his finger to his lips indicating for her to be quiet; Katie imitated him giggling softly to herself. As quietly as he could Brian gathered a knife and two apples. Holding the knife carefully he picked up Katie and moved outside.

"Come on, you can help me milk the cow, get you something to drink" Brian told Katie.

Katie seemed to ignore him, instead looking beyond him, to further down the porch. Suddenly she started to wave "heeelo, Misser Bray"

Brian turned and blinked in surprise. He took a few steps towards Loren "Mr Bray?" Loren didn't seem to register his presence until he stood right next to him "Mr Bray?" Brian repeated.

Slowly and what appeared painfully Loren looked up at him "Hello lad" he smiled weakly as Katie waved "Katie"

"Are you here to see Ma?" Brian asked trying to work out why Loren would be at the homestead this early in the day. Loren shook his head. Sensing that the older man didn't want to talk Brian made a decision, knowing the inadvertent healing properties his sister seemed to have he stepped forward "Could you watch Katie while I milk the cow and get the eggs" without waiting for an answer he deposited his little sister on Loren's lap. Quickly he backed off, racing towards the barn so that Loren could not protest.

Loren sat still as Katie wriggled on his lap, quickly she found a comfortable position and leant back against Loren's chest, humming to herself. Loren sat and listened to the little girl's tuneless humming. Placing his arms protectively around her, Loren began to hum 'Beautiful Dreamer'. Katie stopped her own humming and turned her pretty face to look up at him with a smile. As he came to the end of the first verse Loren paused and returned her smile, finally finding comfort after the days of anguish.

* * *

Cynthia looked up from her work as her store door opened "Loren" she rose from behind her sewing machine.

"I came ta apologise" Loren told her simply.

Cynthia shook her head "There is nothing to apologise for"

"Weren't right" Loren muttered, he took a deep breath "I also want to accept ya business proposal, I'll get a contract drawn up" he turned to the door.

"Loren" Cynthia called him back "Please wait" Loren remained motionless his hand on the door, unable to turn back or move forward. Cynthia crossed to stand beside him. She placed her slender hand on his arm "I would like to be more than just business partners" she pulled him round to face her "Please, I liked it" she smiled warmly at him, trying to make eye contact. Finally she managed to lock eyes with him "I haven't felt like this for a long time"

Now he was staring into her green eyes Loren was trapped, unable to look away, he opened his mouth but no words came out. Slowly he raised his arm to touch hers a silent gesture.

"Friends?" Cynthia asked hopefully

"For now" Loren found his voice "For now"


	4. Seven Pounds

_Thanks for reading and reviewing. Posting the next chapter a little early as I'm out all day tomorrow, and as the chapter is ready I feel mean making people wait till Sunday. I know it might seem a bit wierd in the middle, I edited out a scene between Katie and Michaela as it was too unMichaela like but I needed the event to happen for the rest to continue, i.e. the Sully moments. It's a Dr Mike and Sully Chapter, I'm definately right about characters you love are easier to write as I wrote the 1st draft of this in about 6 hours. I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think_

_Kate_

_x_

Seven pounds

Yawning Michaela carefully stacked the dishes to dry on the side. Despite the fact that she had slept for a full 12 hours last night, she still felt overwhelming tired, a feeling which she hadn't been able to shake for the past few weeks. A pervading feeling that she was unable to lose no matter how much she rested or tried to sleep, and worrying about it made it worse as the more she fretted about it the harder it seemed to strike her.

The boys frowned as they heard their mother yawn, taking Katie they moved to the kitchen. They studied Michaela for a few moments as she continued to tidy away, her hand reaching up to her mouth every so often to cover up her yawn. A flicker of concern passed between the two young men "Don't worry Ma, with Pa back today you'll be able to sleep properly tonight" Brian suddenly blurted alerting Michaela to their presence. They both immediately dropped their concerned looks as she turned, Brian smiling and Matthew pulling a cheeky face to show he was amused by what Brian had just said.

Michaela looked up at her sons, somewhat ashamed at being caught publically displaying her fatigue.

She caught sight of Matthew's expression of mirth, which told her he thought that she and Sully would be doing anything but sleeping, and blushed "Yes Brian I believe I shall" she reached out for Katie. "Sully will be tired from the journey and this little one" she hugged Katie tightly to her "can't wait to share a bed with her Papa."

Matthew grinned knowingly at her "Won't she get in the way?" he asked innocently.

Michaela returned his look "Not tonight, though perhaps tomorrow she could sleep..."

"We'll stay at the clinic" Matthew chuckled slightly.

"Why?" Brian asked oblivious, he caught sight of the look that passed between his mother and older brother "Oh" he turned away, uncomfortable with the thought of what his parents would get up to. "I'll go tether the wagon"

"I'll give ya a hand" Matthew followed Brian out.

Michaela lowered Katie to the ground and finished the remainder of the dishes "Stop pulling on my skirt sweetheart" she bent down and extricated Katie's vice like grip from the fabric "When you pull it down you make it tight on Mama" straightening up she pulled her skirt back up a few centimetres higher.

* * *

The family stood expectantly on the platform, watching as the trained moved into town at what felt like an interminably slow speed. Michaela bounced Katie "Look sweetheart"

"Twain" Katie called pointing at the approaching locomotive.

"And you know what that means" Michaela kissed Katie's rosy cheek "who's on the train?"

"Papa" Katie called her smile reaching from ear to ear. Michaela kissed Katie again, her smile widening as Brian wrapped his arm around her waist.

The train pulled to a stop and Michaela looked up expectantly at the end of the train. He was the third passenger to leave the carriage. Michaela took a sharp of intake of breath, Sully still took her breath away. He was just magnificent. She watched him dismount, his white teeth shining whiter against his skin that had tanned a deeper brown on his trip, his hair slightly longer, the front bleached blond by the sun, despite it being early November. She hung back for a moment as Brian rushed forward, allowing her tall son to give his Pa a manly welcome home hug. Katie bounced happily on her hip, her little arms reaching out for her father, her speech incoherent in her excitement. Sully broke away from Brian and reached out to take his little girl. Katie's arms went round his neck like a bear trap.

"Hey sweetie" Sully took the weight of his daughter and hugged her tightly, his eyes closing as he inhaled her sweet scent "You grew so big"

Katie peered down at her dangling legs "fink?"

Sully nodded his head "I think ya Ma's been feedin' you good" he looked over to Michaela and smiled warmly at her, love radiating from his eyes. He repositioned his daughter on his hip and stepped forward looping his arm around Michaela waist, pulling her in close to his body to kiss her passionately.

The kiss lasted what seemed like minutes to the children, only seconds to the adults and as they stepped apart Michaela exhaled sharply, her face flushed.

"Hi" Sully whispered

"Hi" Michaela whispered breathily back

"Hi" Katie yelled from Sully's hip, breaking the tender moment between her parents.

"All right Sully" Matthew held out his hand and greeted him, grinning at Michaela's flushed appearance "Sure you don't want us..."

"No thank you Matthew" Michaela interrupted, glancing nervously around, the tone of conversation not appropriate for public.

"Hey Sully" Horace called as he rushed up the platform with his mailbag "Good to have ya back"

"Good ta be back" Turning back to Michaela he gave her a wide smile "Let's go home,"

* * *

Sully reclined on the bed with Katie's head tucked into the crook of his arm, her thumb was in her mouth and she was rhythmically stroking her nose with her forefinger. To Sully it was the most adorable sight. He couldn't believe how much she had grown in the 3 weeks he had been away, his little girl rapidly moving out of the baby stage and into childhood. He turned his head to Michaela and watched her as she prepared herself for bed. She looked tired but happy and though he was sure that the boys had done everything they could to help her out, he was thrilled to be back so that he could take care of her properly. He was pleased to see she hadn't lost weight which was so often the case when he was away; in fact it appeared as though she had maybe gained a little, her waist, face and breasts all appearing slightly fuller, only noticeable to him because of the time he had been away.

Her long hair brushed Michaela crossed to the bed and climbed in.

Sully leant forward over Katie and they kissed each other hungrily "Matthew told me they are staying at the clinic tomorrow" Sully whispered as they moved apart.

Sliding down in bed Michaela nodded "Yes they thought they would give us some privacy" she smiled coyly up at him, her eyelids drooping as she succumbed to tiredness. She adjusted her position rolling onto her side and placing one hand on Katie's tummy and the other gently on his arm. Sully matched her sinking down onto the mattress, one hand reaching to cup Michaela's head; the other hand resting beside her's on Katie's torso. He listened as his wife's breathing slowed and fell into the familiar frequency of sleep, her exhaustion claiming her quickly. Tenderly he stroked Michaela's silk like hair, relishing the proximity to her and his daughter, his body prickling with anticipation of what was to come tomorrow.

* * *

"Michaela!"

She turned her head as she dismounted from the wagon and watched Cynthia striding towards her.

"Oh Cynthia" Michaela shook her head "I'm sorry. Brian said you needed to see me" she smiled as Cynthia's green eyes widened with surprise knowing that Cynthia had seen Sully, she turned in the direction of her husband. "Cynthia this is my husband Sully" Sully crossed round behind the wagon "Sully this is Cynthia Matheson, Colorado Springs new dressmaker and seamstress"

Cynthia looked shocked obviously not expecting Sully to be attired in buckskins. She recovered admirably as he came to a stop beside Michaela

"Pleased ta meet ya" Sully offered his hand "How'd Loren take ta ya?" he smiled as he imagined Loren grumping over someone trying to take his business.

Cynthia shifted uncomfortably "We worked out an arrangement" she sighed heavily "Sully that's an interesting name, is it short for Sullivan?"

Sully grinned and gave Michaela a sideways look as she stifled a giggle "Sully is my surname, don't care much for my first name is all"

Seeing Cynthia's discomfort Michaela stepped in "What was it you needed to see me about?"

Cynthia eyes moved from Sully onto Michaela "Your gown is almost finished"

"Gown?" Sully and Michaela repeated. Suddenly recalling what it was she had ordered Michaela gasped and blushed red "oh my goodness, I forgot"

Cynthia smiled at her "I wondered if you had, I just need to do the last few fixings and then it will be all ready for..." she moved her hand between Michaela and Sully indicating what she couldn't say in public

Sully frowned as he tried to grasp her meaning, he glanced at Michaela's embarrassed expression and it struck him. Grinning like a naughty school boy he tenderly placed his hand against the small of Michaela's back "that kinda gown"

"Do you have time now?" Cynthia asked "It should only take an hour to complete once I've worked out the positioning"

"Ya don't have a patient for an hour" Sully answered for Michaela "I'll go pick up the sheets from Loren" he kissed Michaela's right temple and gently pushed her towards Cynthia. "I'll see ya later"

* * *

Sully entered the store, his smile still wide.

"Sully, good ta see ya back" Loren greeted him from the table where he sat with the Reverend and Jake.

Sully settled Katie on the counter "Loren" he nodded to the older man "Here to pick Michaela's linen order up" Sully placed a protective hand on Katie's tummy as the little girl tried to get to the bear carving on the counter.

"Sure thing Sully" Loren rose "Got it right over here" quickly he returned with the stack of white cloth. Sully leant in near to the store keeper "Also need ta get a shirt, nicest ya got and some cologne"

"Busy night planned" Loren's eyes twinkled knowingly, he chuckled and tickled Katie before moving away to get what Sully had asked for.

"So ya expecting a good night" Jake moved to the counter and took a sip from his tea cup staring at Sully over the rim with raised eyebrows.

Before Sully could answer Hank swaggered into the store "What's got Michaela so flustered then Sully?" he smirked at the shorter man "Ain't seen a woman blush like that for a long while"

"Ya obviously losing your touch" Sully retorted.

Hank snorted "Maybe so" he leant in to Sully "But you ain't"

"Now gentlemen" The Reverend called from the table "Leave Sully alone, what occurs..."

"Oh we know what's occurring" Hank nudged Sully "Come on man ta man"

"Ain't no men here" Sully gave Hank a wry smile "'sept the Reverend, and he don't seem interested"

Hank gave a deep chuckle and slapped Sully good naturedly on the back. "Well ya have fun. Jake need a fifth in a game you in?"

The mayor nodded and placed his cup on the counter "Thanks for the tea Loren. Unless Sully is in need of my services" he grinned as Sully shook his head. He patted Sully on the back "You have a _real good_ time then"

* * *

Cynthia guided Michaela through the door of her shop and turned the key in the lock preventing anyone else from entering.

"I apologize" Michaela told the other woman nervously "I completely forgot about this order"

"It's all right" Cynthia noted Michaela's awkward stance "Your husband is a very handsome man, he has a very Roman face, though not the colouring" she smiled as Michaela appeared to relax "I have to say I was surprised by his attire" Cynthia gently coerced Michaela behind the screen.

"Sully lived with a tribe of Indians called the Cheyenne, they were his family. He ..."Michaela came to a stop as her eyes fell on what Cynthia had created. The gown was stunning; with a bodice made from thin pale blue ribbons woven together the bodice was topped by sheer white fabric covering blue lace panels which were designed to cup and support the breasts while providing a demure but suggestive view of what lay beneath. Attach to the bodice were fabric panels, layers of lace and voile hanging down to the floor in silky folds. "It's beautiful" Michaela whispered.

"I'm glad you like it" Cynthia stepped forward and removed the gown from where it hung "I'll need you to remove your garments"

"All of them?" Michaela looked at her alarmed.

"You may leave your bloomers but I will need you to remove your chemise, otherwise it won't fit properly" Cynthia smiled kindly at a blushing Michaela "You haven't got anything that I haven't got. Now you put it on and call me when you're covered up" she squeezed Michaela's arm "I'll be right outside"

Cynthia moved back out to the shop and busied herself with some tasks as she waited for Michaela. Finally after a few minutes Michaela called out, her voice shaky "I'm ready"

Cynthia stepped back behind the screen; she frowned at Michaela's mortified face. "Michaela? Do you not like it?"

Michaela shook her head "It's beautiful, but it doesn't appear to fit" she moved her left hand which had been clasped around her waist to reveal a half inch gap between the two edges of the woven bodice "Perhaps the darting is too much"

Cynthia frowned "I haven't done the darting yet, that was part of the finishing off I needed to do" she crossed to Michaela and looped her tape measure around Michaela's waist. Michaela shifted uncomfortably "26 and a half" Cynthia muttered, she backed away from Michaela, disappearing round the corner of the screen. Nervously Michaela shifted her stance trying to make the gap close. Cynthia returned holding Michaela's measurement card, Michaela noted the look of frustration on her face. "Is there something wrong?"

Cynthia shook her head forcing herself to smile "Not at all, these things happen"

"What things?" Michaela looked at Cynthia with concern.

Cynthia looked at her comfortingly "When I measured you originally, your waist was 24 inches..."

"And now it's 26 and a half" Michaela finished for her turning to look back at the mirror to study her appearance.

"Don't worry" Cynthia told her kindly, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder "It's easily remedied"

* * *

Michaela crossed toward the clinic, she kept her head low, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She quickly entered the clinic and rested against the door breathing heavily. Her mind was racing, trying to come up with the reason for why she would have expanded around her middle. Her fingers tested her waist band and she realised that she was wearing it slightly higher then she normally would and even then it was tight. Pushing herself off the door she crossed to her set of scales in the corner of the clinic. Pulling the screen around the area she removed her clothes for the second time that day and stepped on wearing just her undergarments. She positioned the slider at the weight she had been at her last weigh in, 115, the beam remained unbalanced so she moved the slider along two points bringing it to 117 and the beam still did not move. Michaela frowned and continued to move the slider up beyond the territory she usually occupied. Her mouth dropped open as she pushed the slider passed the 120 pound mark, a weight she had passed only once before. The beam finally became balanced as she passed between the 121 and 122. Michaela stared at the reading in shock. She had weighed herself 5 weeks ago in an attempt to get Katie to cooperate when she had need to weigh her daughter; she racked her brains trying to fathom how she could have gained almost 7 pounds in that time. She played through every meal she could recall in that time, she certainly hadn't eaten more, if anything with Sully away she had eaten less. She flinched as someone knocked on the door "Just a minute" she called as she began to rapidly pull on her tightening clothes.

* * *

Sully entered the bedroom resplendent in his new shirt; he frowned as he saw Michaela sitting at her vanity in her baggiest shift, staring at herself sadly in the mirror, her eyes scanning her appearance critically. She had seemed strangely distant during their meal at Grace's, barely touching the special meal that Grace had prepared for them.

"Michaela?" he crossed to her, kneeling beside her and touching her arm, bringing her out of her reverie "Are you alright?"

"Oh I'm sorry" she smiled weakly at him and ran her fingers down his freshly shaven face "I was miles away"

"It's alright, you wanna tell me what's bothering you" he touched her lingering hand, holding it by his face, relishing her touch. Slowly he brought her hand round to his lips and gently kissed it.

"It's nothing really" she told him dismissively, raising her other hand to stroke his hair.

"'Nothing really' is usually something" Sully pointed out "Like the reason you're wearin' this" he fingered her baggy shift "when I know you got a gown made special"

"I'll put it on if you want" Michaela attempted to rise from the seat.

Sully held her in place "No that's not what I mean. If you want to wear this, than ya can. It's just ya went to all that trouble and now..."

"I've gained weight" she admitted quietly

"I know" Sully told her gently.

Michaela looked up at him in alarm "You can see it?" she sounded horrified.

"Only coz' I've been away" Sully spoke softly, trying to reassure her, he raised his hand to stroke her face "It looks good on ya"

"But there's no reason for it to be there" Michaela sighed, turning back to stare at her reflection.

"I'm pleased" Sully started

"Pleased?" Michaela's head whipped back to stare at him in surprise.

Sully smiled warmly at her and squeezed her knee "Ya usually lose weight when I'm away, I'm pleased ya been eatin' right"

"But I haven't" Michaela admitted quietly "I can never eat properly when you are away. I never feel hungry. I worry too much" She noted the expression of concern that fluttered across Sully's handsome face "That's just it Sully. I've gained almost seven pounds in 5 weeks, for absolutely no reason"

Sully sighed "Maybe you're due for..." he stopped and nodded downwards, unable for bring himself to say the word.

Michaela glanced down at her torso as she caught his meaning "Oh no, I had that while you were away" she sighed heavily and glanced back at her reflection "I just feel so..."

"Ya beautiful" Sully interrupted her, shifting his weight so he could embrace her better.

"But I'm getting..."

"Ya ain't fat" Sully knew where her train of thought was going "Nowhere near. You are a beautiful woman. I see the way men look at ya," he reached up and brushed the trickle of water from her face "besides It don't matter to me what ya look like, you'll always be beautiful to me" he leant forward and kissed her softly on the forehead, as he did he felt her tremble. Lowering himself back to his original position he could see the tears rolling down her face "Don't cry, please don't cry"

Michaela gave a shuddering breath, trying to fight her tears "I'm sorry, I wanted tonight to be special, and now I'm ruining it"

Sully pulled her as tight as their positions would allow "Ya ain't ruining it, ya can't help the way ya feel"

"But it's been so long since we..." she started to cry

"Ssh" Sully stroked her arm trying to soothe her "It's only been 3 weeks, I can wait for as long as you need me to. All I want is to be near ya, that's enough"

"Oh Sully" She threw her arms around his neck leaning into him her body shaking with the force of her tears. Sully slowly rose pulling her into his arms and crossing to the bed. Carefully he lowered her down onto the mattress and climbed alongside her holding her as tightly as he could, trying to kiss away her fears.

* * *

Sully stirred as he felt Michaela leave the bed, he waited for her to return thinking she had gone to relieve herself. After a time and when she didn't return he became worried and he rose to search for her.

Wrapped in only a blanket he padded downstairs to find her. She was sat at the kitchen table, a medical tome open, her head dropped in sleep. Sully sighed and crossed to her "Michaela" he whispered gently "Come on, back to bed" She woke startled and for a moment seemed disorientated "Come on" Sully repeated "Don't want ya to get a sore neck"

"I was just..." she tried to explain

"Sleepin'" Sully interrupted, knowing full well that she was trying to find an answer for her unexplained weight gain "And best place for sleepin' is bed" he leant forward and closed her book "Come on," he held out his free hand, his other holding his blanket up "Ya make it difficult for me ta sleep" Michaela looked up at him quizzically, Sully smiled and pulled her to her feet "Need ta have ya in my arms for me to be able to sleep decent"

* * *

Dorothy pushed open the door to the clinic "Good day Michaela, are we still on for lunch?" her smile wavered as she saw Michaela's flustered appearance. "Michaela? Are you alright?"

Michaela looked up and forced herself to smile "Oh, I'm fine"

"No ya aren't" Dorothy moved to the bench beside Michaela's desk "Tell me"

"It's nothing" Michaela dismissed her

Dorothy studied her friend's tortured face "Then why are you so concerned?" she waited a beat to see if Michaela would respond "Is this to do with why you are feelin' so tired?"

Michaela looked at her with watery eyes; slowly she nodded "In a way" she sighed heavily "I've gained weight"

Dorothy smiled at her "You're tired and you've gained weight, are you sure you aren't pregnant"

Michaela shook her head strongly "I had my monthly two weeks ago" she exhaled through pursed lips "It was very mild, not like my usual...flow"

"Oh" Dorothy raised her hand to cover Michaela's "Do you think it's... it's the change?"

Michaela bit her lip "The start of it" she stifled a sob.

"It's alright Michaela" Dorothy soothed "It happens to us all" she leant forward as Michaela began to cry and took her friend into her arms "That's right you let it all out"

"I'm sorry" Michaela cried into Dorothy's shoulder "I just thought"

"That you'd have more time" Dorothy stroked her back, Michaela's tears intensified "Oh sweetheart, I know, I know,"

* * *

Sully looked at his wife surprised to see her home so early during the day, his brow knitted with worry as he took in her appearance, her hair slightly dishevelled, her face blotchy and slightly swollen from crying. From her demeanour he could tell she was angry. Cautiously he approached her "Michaela?" she gave him a curt nod and brought her tea cup down onto the saucer with unnecessary force. "You OK?"

"I'm fine" her response was forced

Sully frowned and glanced around the open plan living area, searching for his daughter who would usually be sat playing "Where's Katie?"

"In her cot" Michaela told him taking a sip from her cup.

Sully gave a sigh of relief "she's obviously tired, like her Ma" he tried to brighten the oppressive mood.

He jumped as Michaela brought her cup down forcefully again "she is _not_ taking a nap"

Sully glanced up the stairs confused "So why is she in her cot?"

"She was misbehaving and needed to be punished" Michaela told him angrily.

"Punished?" Sully stared at his wife in shock, they never 'punished' Katie, they never had cause to. At worst he and Michaela chastised her; when she did things that she shouldn't, like throw food. "What she do?"

Michaela rose from her seat and turned to the sink "That's irrelevant Sully"

"No it ain't" he gave a start with surprise at the fierce gaze that Michaela gave him over her shoulder "Ya punished our daughter I need ta know why?"

"She wouldn't obey me" Michaela hissed angrily at him.

"Obey ya? Michaela she's two and a half" he reasoned

"I am well aware of how old she is"

Sully stared in confusion at his wife's tensed shoulders and back "You gonna tell me what's wrong" she remained silent, staring stonily out of the window. He crossed to her and pulled her to face him "I want you to tell me what's wrong"

"You can't always have what you want" Michaela yelled at him.

Sully blinked back his surprise at the tone and volume she had used, so unlike her, so unlike his Michaela. "I want to know what is wrong with my wife"

She stared at him for a few moments her two tone eyes wide, wild and unblinking "You want another baby" she suddenly blurted, hot angry tears erupted from her eyes and rolled fatly down her cheeks, her voice rose in pitch and volume, and she was yelling again, her normally soft strong voice riddled with pain and anger "And you can't have that either, you can't have the family you want because you married an old hag" she suddenly moved, darting to the door.

Sully remained frozen, too surprised by her outburst to move, his mouth dropped open in unspoken disbelief. By the time he came to his senses, it was too late to catch her and bring her back into the world of love they normally inhabited. He crossed to the door and he could see Michaela charging away on Flash. He moved to follow to race after her to bring her back to him and quell her unfounded fears. A pained wail sounded from upstairs and he paused, the other girl in his life as upset as her mother. Knowing they were alone and that he could not leave her Sully softly closed the door. Taking a deep breath Sully ascended the stairs; with trepidation he opened the bedroom door. Katie stood clutching the bars of her cot, her brown eyes wide like saucers, her face wet from crying. When she saw her father Katie gave a shuddering breath and raised her arms. "Papa" she called to him plaintively. Sully moved forward and lifted her into his arms; he carried her to the rocker and sat down holding her tenderly. Immediately Katie seized his beads, running them through her fingers nervously. "I bad"

Sully kissed the top of her head "No, your Ma is just angry"

Katie nodded in agreement "Mama angy"

"Let's go play" Sully made to get up but Katie gave an upset squeal "You don't want to play?"

"Mama yell" Katie buried her head into his buckskin jacket.

"You were playing" Sully kissed her again.

Katie peeked up at him "Mama goed ssh" she placed her little finger against her lips, her eyes erupted with sad tears. "I not ssh"

"Hush little one, it's alright" he stroked her back tenderly, his heart feeling like it would break with her sadness. A notion occurred to him and he peeled Katie's face out from his jacket "Let's go somewhere where you can make as much noise as ya like" he rose from the chair, brushing the tears from her face "Let's go see Cloud Dancing" he noted with pleasure the small smile that formed on the little girl's face. While part of this trip would be to allow Katie to enjoy her playtime another part of him was hoping that his brother could shed some light on the way Michaela was acting.

* * *

With an anguished scream Michaela pulled Flash to a halt. Exhausted she slithered off her faithful horse and tied the reins to a nearby tree. Disoriented she studied the land around her, trying to gather her bearings after her tear blinded ride. She wasn't even sure how long she had ridden for. She felt cold, inside and out, the horrid feeling of anger ebbing to leave her with horror at what she had said to her husband and daughter. It wasn't their fault this was happening to her and she had no right to take it out of them. Her tears began anew and she slumped against the tree, her body shaking dramatically with heavy heaving sobs.

"Why?" she yelled, surprising herself, she wasn't even sure who she was shouting to, God, the spirits, anyone who would listen. As abruptly as her tears had started they stopped and she was left breathing heavily, leant against the tree. She looked up at the darkening sky with her damp eyes and gave a shuddering breath. She knew she couldn't go on like this, act in such an abominable manner, she needed help, needed someone to guide her. She pushed herself into the upright position and reached to Flash, hugging the animal's face, her hand stroking the warm hair. It had been a while since she had held the animal in such a way, the boys had been tending to the horses, strangely the simple act made her feel somewhat better. The horse sniffed her and gave a gently whinny, almost as if she was trying to comfort her. Michaela smiled weakly and released her gentle grip. She pulled the reins into her hand and began to mount. Flash whinnied again and shook her head, regarding Michaela with her large brown eyes, a look which almost appeared as if she didn't want to be ridden. Michaela leant forward running her hand down the animal's neck "I won't push you as hard, I promise" she straightened up and pressed her heels into Flash's side. Flash moved away in a gentle walk. Michaela pushed her heels in again trying to get Flash to move faster. The horse whinnied again, turning its head to look at her, at once telling Michaela that this was the speed she intended to move and that was that.

* * *

Cloud Dancing stood waiting at the old reservation land entrance, as Sully slowly guided his horse towards his friend's home of canvas covered tepee.

"Ha ho" Cloud Dancing signalled reaching out to take Katie from between Sully's arms, tenderly he kissed the little girl. "Ha ho little one"

"Ha ho" Sully dismounted and patted his friend on the back.

"You seem troubled" Cloud Dancing spoke, while looking at Katie, Sully sighed knowing the statement was directed at him "Tell me what is wrong?"

Katie sighed seriously "Mama angy. I loud wen pway"

Sully couldn't help but smile at the serious expression his daughter wore "I promised her she could be as loud as she wanted here"

Cloud dancing smiled and lowered the little girl to the grass. "Then I must get my onétšêškeonéhavo'e"

Katie stared at him in wonderment at the strange word he had used. As Cloud Dancing entered his tepee she rushed to her father beckoning him to kneel down so they held the same eye level "What One.. ont...onetskvo?" she attempted to pronounce the Cheyenne word.

Sully grinned at her, "Take a look" he pointed, making Katie turn. Her little face lit up as she saw Cloud Dancing emerge from the tepee with a small drum in his hand.

"Dwum" she raced towards Cloud Dancing, bobbing up and down beside him when she came to a stop "Me, Me" she called excitedly "I pway"

"You must sit" Cloud Dancing told her. Immediately Katie dropped to the floor her dress puffing out around her with the force of air she displaced. Cloud Dancing lowered himself to her level and set the drum in front of her. "You must play like this" he beat out a rhythm on the skin of the drum with his hand. Katie imitated him, her little hands patting out almost the same rhythm that he had just played. Cloud Dancing sat down beside her and indicated to Sully that he wished for him to join him on the grass. "You are troubled about Michaela" Sully nodded sadly "She shouted at the child" Cloud Dancing inclined his head towards Katie.

"It ain't like her" Sully looked sideways at his friend "How did you know?"

"Dorothy warned me Michaela was upset, I felt that you would need my counsel" Cloud Dancing pulled his hand around his knees.

Sully sighed and brushed a strand of his hair that was being blown by the wind out of his eyes "I don't know what ta do"

"You must love her and show her patience" Cloud Dancing told him simply "It is different for men than woman. For men there are only two stages of life, boy and man, our bodies may grow weak or strong but that depends on the food we eat or how much we run, we do not go through a great change. Any title bestowed upon us, father, grandfather, elder is an honour, not a change in our body. For woman there are many stages of life, girl, young woman, mother, grandmother. These are not only names of honour; their body must change for them to be called these. A woman must carry a baby and she will reach a time when she can no longer do this. Then she must become a grandmother"

Sully gulped as he caught his friends meaning. "Grandmother" he frowned at the description, unable to think of his beautiful vibrant wife as a grandmother, it was a strange notion, one he had never even considered before.

Cloud Dancing studied Sully's face "You must face it also, in order that you may help Michaela through this time. It will be many months before she will feel at peace, and you must be stood waiting for her with open arms"

"I want to help but I don't know how" Sully sighed in frustration.

"You must let her shout when she is angry, cry when she is sad, hold her and comfort her, laugh with her, love her, all that you do now. You must be all she needs, her rock. She will come back to you" Cloud Dancing placed a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder "It will be a difficult time, but I am here for you my brother. You must not worry, she will come back to you"

Sully nodded in understanding and looked back towards Katie, her face still full of glee as she beat out the rhythm on the stretched animal hide. Cloud Dancing began to sing, the words Sully recognised as those for asking for guidance from the spirits. Katie paused in her playing watching in awe as Cloud Dancing sang in the beautiful language. Sully closed his eyes and adopted the position that Cloud Dancing held joining in with the song that he had not heard for a long time. Katie studied her father curiously, having never heard him sing before, his voice was deep and warm and it made her smile. Slowly she returned to her drumming beating out the rhythm that she had been taught, the beats working in perfect harmony with the two men's song for guidance.

* * *

Softly Michaela knocked on the door of the Chateau clinic. It was nearly 5.30pm and she wasn't sure at what time James would finish practicing for the day. The rosy sheen of wind burn on her cheeks had replaced the swollen blotchy appearance brought by her tears. She felt abysmal, mentally frayed by what she had diagnosed and even worse what she had said to Sully and her appalling behaviour towards Katie. She needed to get back to them to beg for their forgiveness, but before she did she knew she needed help, needed another physician's second opinion, a fresh pair of eyes to guide her and allow her to be the patient for once. She knocked again, this time more forcefully.

The door was wrenched open by James, giving Michaela a start "Yes" he looked flustered. Upon seeing Michaela his expression changed "Michaela my dear" he shivered slightly "Do come in, come in, it's mighty nippy out here" he dragged Michaela into his clinic. "oof, your hands are like ice" he drew her to stand in front of the clinic stove "warm yourself" he took a step back "You must excuse me I've been trying to fathom these snake oils, trying to figure a way I can allay my conscience" he indicated the branded medicine sitting garishly in a cabinet "I have only found one which is of any benefit, which is an oil meant to cure rheumatism which is actually very good for clearing catarrh" he placed the bottle he had been studying back on the stand "Apologies, was there a reason you needed to see me?" he turned to look at her.

Michaela shifted awkwardly "I need to consult with you"

"By all means" James held his arm out indicating the two chairs by his desk. He scurried over and pulled himself into the high wooden seat, his toes only just reaching the parquet flooring. Slowly Michaela joined him, nervously lowering herself into the smaller of the two chairs "Fire away" James seized a pencil and licked the nib "What are patient's symptoms?" there was a tense pause and the other doctor looked up at Michaela, his face fell slightly "you mean about yourself?" his voice softened and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"I believe, that is I think, that I ... um ... that I may be entering the change of life" she looked down at her hands embarrassed.

"I see" James nodded "How old are you?"

"40, I'll be 41 in February"

"And what makes you believe that you are entering the menopause" James looked up, just in time to catch Michaela flinch as he used the medical term "Apologies my dear" he reached out and patted her clasped hands "I appreciate this is difficult, I do not like handing myself over to other physicians, and I have never had something of such a delicate nature"

Michaela gave him a weak but appreciative smile "I've gained weight, approximately seven pounds in five weeks despite not changing my eating habits, I've been experiencing extreme fatigue, and my last monthly was very mild"

"How is your cycle normally?" James scribbled down what she had just told him.

"I was fairly intermittent, but things improved once I had Katie. She's two and a half" she anticipated his next question "They usually have a duration of 4 days but the last was only for a day"

"Have you been experiencing any flushes of heat?"

Michaela thought for a moment "Not flushes but I have been feeling very warm on occasion"

"I see" James looked at her over the rims of his spectacles "I would like to examine you, if you are willing," Michaela nodded slowly. James rose and indicated for her to pass behind the screen "There are gowns in the cabinet to the left; I believe your size should be located near the top."

After a minute Michaela returned, clad in a simple linen gown. James looked up at her from the chart he had created for her and smiled. "If you'll climb on the table" he rose and extended his hand to assist her "What I like to do in these incidences is perform a complete examination at least every six months, with at least quarterly meetings, in order that we assess any changes, and find appropriate courses of action to ease your transition" he looked down for a moment "I will need to examine your breasts"

"Oh" Michaela nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment, it occurred to her that James was only the third man to touch her breasts, the first being Sully during their love making, the other being the Indian who had abducted her six years ago. Gently James placed his hand on the underside of her right breast and pressed inwards. Michaela winced.

"That is tender?" James looked at her curiously. Michaela nodded, and then frowned as James suddenly moved to the other breast repeating the same action as before, she winced again "And this?" James removed his hand. "Lie back please" Michaela took a sharp intake of breath and did what he asked, puzzled by the erratic nature of this examination. When she was properly situated James reached for her lower abdomen and gently probed the area with his fingers. "You're last monthly, describe it to me"

The question caught her off guard "It lasted for a day and was very mild, almost like..."

"Spotting?" James offered.

"Yes" Michaela agreed

"And the colour?"

"Brown"

"I see" James probed her one last time

James cleared his throat and took a step back, studying her prone form for a moment. He cleared his throat "I would like to perform an external examination, if you will permit me"

Michaela raised her head "Why?"

"I believe I have a different diagnosis to yours Dr Quinn" he gave a smile, this time not one meant to reassure but to show genuine pleasure "You have tender breasts, a distended by firm lower abdomen, your last period was spotting, you've been extremely tired, " he raised his eyebrows hoping she would catch his meaning. Michaela gasped and looked down at herself, studying herself in a new light "May I continue?" James asked. Michaela nodded in agreement a smile forming on her lips.

* * *

Sully glanced at the clock, the hour hand reaching for 7 "I'm gonna go look for her" he threw his napkin onto the table.

"I'll come" Matthew began to rise

"No, stay here" Sully glanced at his daughter who was yawning in between mouthfuls "she'll know something's wrong if we all leave"

He left the homestead and rushed to the barn, quickly bridling his horse.

"Sully" he looked up to see Michaela stood at the doorway, in the dim light of the single lamp she looked flushed and dishevelled.

"Where have you been?" Sully asked at the same time that Michaela said "I'm sorry"

Sully nodded at her to continue, not wanting to anger her any more, though from her deportment he could sense she was not, instead she seemed almost serene.

"I'm sorry I behaved so appallingly" she apologised moving into the barn, clutching Flash's reins. "Forgive me"

"'salright" Sully drawled, observing her cautiously.

"Is Katie alright? I was just awful to her, to both of you" Michaela looked at him with worry

Sully glanced up at the house "She's fine, nothing a good cuddle from her Ma won't fix." he watched her for a moment "Where have you been?"

Michaela stroked Flash's side "I rode for a while, then I walked home from the Chateau, I'm sorry I was so long"

"It's Ok" Sully crossed to begin to remove Flash's saddle, he paused "You walked from the Chateau? Did Flash throw a shoe" he bent down to check the horse's hooves.

"No" the tone of Michaela's voice drew him back to an upright position, she was smiling, glowing "pregnant women shouldn't ride horses" her smile widened.

"Pregnant" Sully repeated looking her up and down "Ya..."

"We're going to have another baby" she bit her lip, looking as if she could explode with happiness

"But, I thought" he shook his head shaking away what had been running around his mind since his visit with Cloud Dancing "Your... we're having a baby" he reached for her and pulled her into his arms, hugging her as tightly as he dared. "When?" he kissed the top of her head.

"Early June, James believes I'm approximately 9 weeks" she nestled her head into the curve of his neck.

"And ya alright?" Sully asked with concern "I thought you had a..."

"Oh No I'm fine" she assured him "It was implantation bleeding, it happens, it's perfectly normal" she frowned "I would like to wait though, at least till after the twelfth week, before we tell anyone"

"Even the kids?" Sully queried with surprise

She nodded "I couldn't face telling them that I..." she took a shaky breath.

Sully turned her face upwards, kissing her softly. "That ain't gonna happen" she kissed her again "I guess you ain't an old hag then" he grinned at her, trying to keep her in the happy moment and not dwell on the baby they had lost.

"Did I say that?" she shook her head bemused by the information " I'm afraid You'll just have to put up with me being fat"

Sully chuckled and raised his arms away from her waist, imitating where she had extended to when carrying Katie "Think you'll test my arms again?"

Michaela looked down and swatted his hand away "I wasn't that big, was I?"

Sully drew her into a warm kiss "Don't matter to me, nothing more beautiful than the sight of you carrying our baby"

Michaela took his hand into hers and brought it down to her lower abdomen. She smiled up at him "Another baby" she whispered contently

"Guess I do get what I want," he kissed her "at least when it comes to you"

"What do you want this time, boy or girl?"

Sully thought for a moment "Don't mind, can't change what's cookin'" he gently stroked the area Michaela had brought his hand against "I'm just happy to watch it grow and wait ta hold it" he kissed her hungrily. They broke apart and Michaela gave a happy sigh, her hand gently cupped over his, new parents protecting the imperceptible swell of her belly that housed their baby.


	5. Taking Chances

_Thanks for reviews, I'm glad that you all enjoying it and can play it out in your head, if things aren't clear then let me know sometimes things make sense in my head but not to everyone else, also as I'm English and I'm guessing alot of you are American there will be some cultural phrases that differ, when I used to write tribe stories th websmaster when I posted the stories had a translation dictionary . As many of you noted she sure does have trouble noticing I always found that funny in the show but sometimes you can't see what's under your nose lol. It does make for a fun episode to write though._

_This one is a slightly more medical episode (it's got a voice over at the end and everything) I always found it fascinating about how she treated illnesses that these day can be diagnosed so easily, that those days she had no hope of curing like Anthony. Alot of what I write is inspired by what I see like my version of Katie is based on my friends little girl when she was younger. This episode is based on two events from my past, the patient's underlying condition is due to said friend's little boy who sadly lost his battle with the disease and the final outcome is based on what happened to one of my friends Mum. I've tried to get as many details correct as possible, espeically about the disease and Cincinatti, the school, position and name of the church and the law firm all exist/existed_

_Kate_

* * *

Taking Chances 

Horace stood on the platform, waiting for the train operatives to unload the delivery from the morning train. Railroad protocol dictated that he was not allowed to assist them until he had signed the paperwork and the workers on the morning train were never any good at handing it over to him. Unable to help, he stood swaybacked surreptitiously watching the passengers as they went about their business. It was a fairly typical day, people clothed in brown's and black, their coats pulled tight against the bitter chill of the winter wind, just a standard day at the station. He yawned stretching his long arms high above his head. As he opened his eyes something of interest caught his attention. A lone female, young, perhaps no more than 18 with fine golden blonde hair. She stuck out on the platform, her long winter cloak a pale powder blue. She turned abruptly returning Horace's stare, her large eyes the exact colour of her cloak. Horace smiled at her and gave her a gentle nod.

Turning away from the girl and directing his attention back on the delivery, Horace gave a sigh. Hank was obviously getting too big for his boots hiring girls like that; normally his girls were pretty or buxom, certainly not elegant like the young girl who stood alone, seemingly waiting to be collected. He turned as he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. The girl stood beside him nervously.

"Gold Nugget's down the street can't miss it" Horace told her without waiting for her to ask a question.

The girl looked up at him strangely, "Forgive me, I do not understand" she shivered slightly "I was wondering where I might find board, or perhaps employment"

Horace raised his eyebrows "Yah mean ya ain't working at the saloon!" he stared down at the ground, suddenly finding the toe of his boot very interesting, as his face flushed with embarrassment "Sorry, don't see many girl's travelin' on their own who ain't..." he trailed off "I would try the general store" he pointed in the direction she would need to walk.

"Thank you" the girl spoke politely but with an edge of nervousness. She turned away from Horace to collect her large carpet bag before slowly moving out of the station.

* * *

Michaela observed herself in the mirror and shook her head. They had told the children, and their friends just over a week ago about her pregnancy and it appeared that it had not been a moment too soon. She ran her hand across the swell of her abdomen. Since the announcement it seemed that her belly had swollen a little larger each day, to the point where it was now overtaking her belly button, causing it to flatten, and tilt upwards on an angle. She sighed, and resumed pulling on her clothes, her blouse was tight but she could still do it up, bar the lower few buttons, a problem which was easily covered up by the fact that she was forced to wear her skirt in a higher position showing her ankles to the world. She glanced at her boots, she would just have to ensure that she kept her them spotless, she had to maintain some standard of dress, at least until she felt ready to accept maternity wear into her wardrobe again.

Michaela turned as she heard Katie stir in her cot. She watched with rising amusement as her daughter wriggled and rolled until finally extending her limbs to stretch.

Michaela crossed to the cot "Good morning sleepyhead" Katie waved her hand slightly to greet her mother "Did you sleep well?" Michaela asked reaching into the cot to pull the little girl upright.

Katie nodded, she rubbed her eyes before opening them, blinking them forcefully several times. She studied her mother for several moments "What's dat?" she pointed at her mother's swollen abdomen visible beneath her heavy skirt.

Michaela looked down and gently cupped the swell "That's where the baby is growing"

Katie's eyes widened "In you?" Michaela nodded, smiling at her daughter's amazed expression. "Not get in shop?" Katie queried in awe.

Michaela gave a soft chuckle "No, sweetheart, you don't buy babies in the shop. A baby grows in it's mother's abdo...tummy for 40 we...a long time till it's big and strong and ready to be born." Katie considered her mother's explanation. When it appeared she had accepted it, Michaela bent forward to lift her from the cot

"No" Katie suddenly intoned and stood up.

"You need to get up Katie, your Pa let us sleep in and if we are not careful we shall lose the day" Michaela attempted to reach for her daughter, but Katie spun from her grip.

"No Mama" Katie told her, waggling her finger in imitation of someone being told off "Papa says lift heavy no"

Michaela smiled, Katie was remembering a minor tiff she had had with Sully a few days ago, over her carrying in a basket of logs. A tiff which had been resolved by her promising to not do anymore 'heavy' lifting. With the exception of no longer being able to ride Flash and her ever decreasing wardrobe/reluctance to order maternity wear this early in her term, it was the first concession she had had to make with this pregnancy, the first of many she was sure. "He didn't mean you sweetheart" Michaela lovingly stroked Katie's hair.

Katie shook her head and fixed her mother with a serious gaze "I heavy, I gwowing" she sidestepped Michaela's renewed attempt to lift her out of the cot. Seizing the bars of the cot Katie pulled herself up, rapidly pulling herself over the bar and slithering down the other side to the floor.

Michaela watched her daughter's display open mouthed, Katie looked up at her "See Mama I big"

"Yes you are" Michaela crouched down beside her daughter and gave her a kiss. "You're getting very big, very grown up. But you will always be my little girl, no matter how big you get" She pulled Katie in for a spot of hugs and kisses.

After a few seconds Katie pulled away and looked down "Baby, girl?"

"It might be" Michaela stood up "Or it might be a boy"

"You choose?" Katie asked imitating Michaela's stance

"I can't choose sweetheart" she stroked Katie's head "It will be a surprise"

Katie stood deep in thought for a few moments "I fink mmm..."

Michaela laughed slightly "I think you are going to be the best big sister,"

Katie launched herself at Michaela wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. "Love Mama"

"I love you too" Michaela tried to move Katie's arms away from her legs so she could hug her daughter properly.

As quickly as the little girl's embrace had begun it was over and Katie withdrew. The little girl pivoted and crossed to her parent's bed where Michaela had laid out her clothes, with difficulty she began trying to pull her nightgown over her head. The garment removed she reached to pull on her dress, Michaela who had been watching her daughter with surprise at her new found independence, stepped forward "No sweetheart, we need to put you vest on first" she reached for the white undergarment and held it in a way that Katie would just need to push her arms and head through the appropriate holes. Instead Katie took the garment from her hands and began putting it on by herself, after a few moments of struggle she pulled it on. She gave Michaela a beaming smile "I big"

* * *

Matthew set his basket on the counter, having spent time under his own roof he still found it hard that Michaela and Sully refused to let him pay his way. It made him feel so guilty despite the fact that they told him that they paid for those who lived under their roof. Doing a bit of the shopping was a way to ease his guilt, so every so often he would replace a bag of beans or a tin, he knew they knew he did it but they respected his need to maintain his independence and feel useful.

The store was busy this morning, now that the month had changed to December folk beginning to pour over the gifts and catalogues in preparation for Christmas in a little over 3 weeks time.

"Morning Matthew" Loren sidled up to the counter, his face beaming at the sight of his store so full. The shopkeeper took note of what Matthew had in his basket "That all ya want? Just got some new catalogues in with some great toys in" he dove for a spare catalogue.

"That's all Loren" Matthew told him wryly "We're makin' Katie's presents"

"Makin' them" Loren scoffed

"Yeah, her dollhouse needs furniture" Matthew looked at him pointedly "and I already ordered the others"

"Aah but Matthew would ya look at this Matthew, wouldn't she enjoy that" Loren flipped open the catalogue to an appropriate page.

"Sure" Matthew shrugged good-naturedly "Why don't you get it for her?"

Loren's mouth dropped open but before he had a chance to respond they were joined at the counter. "Excuse me" the young lady spoke "Are there any more notices for employment?"

"That's all I'm afraid" Loren shook his head "You can try the Saloon, or maybe the Chateau"

"Thank you" The young lady spoke somewhat despondently and moved away.

Matthew found himself drawn to watch her leave, she was stunningly attractive, and with her blonde hair and pale skin reminded him so much of Ingrid, he gulped as he felt a stab of pain. He still missed the woman that was to be his wife, it was over 3 years since her death but it still felt like it was yesterday, the pain was still raw.

"Now Matthew, are ya sure?" Loren resumed his hard sell patter.

"I'm sure" Matthew almost spat.

Loren regarded the young man, noting the change in his character. He followed Matthew's gaze and sighed seeing the similarities to Matthew deceased fiancé for himself. He reached and kindly patted Matthew's hand that was gripping the basket's handle tightly. "It'll be 1$ 9 cents" he reached for a jar containing candy canes, while Matthew set his money on the counter. Ignoring Matthew's coins Loren withdrew two of the red striped candy and placed them in the basket "and give these to ya brother and sister" he made to move away but paused and removed another cane from the jar and set it in the basket with a sympathetic look.

* * *

Michaela approached Grace with Katie at her heels, "Good morning Grace"

The cafe owner looked up from her seat where she sat chopping apples. "Mornin Dr Mike. How you feelin'?"

"I'm well" Michaela stepped alongside her "I was about to ask the same question"

Grace leant back in her chair and rubbed her abdomen tenderly "Like a stuffed turkey. I am ready for this to be over"

"4 more weeks" Michaela laughed slightly "Not much longer"

"I can't wait for this baby ta be here" Grace sighed with happiness "We've wanted it for so long, I just want everythin' to be alright"

Michaela settled herself in the chair beside Grace "It will be"

Grace glanced over at her husband working hard in the livery "Robert E said it will be the best Christmas present he'll ever get"

"Belated Christmas present" Michaela smiled

"Suppose it'll be more a New Years present" Grace chuckled, rubbing a spot where the baby was kicking.

Michaela laughed "If you hold on two days past your due date it will be. You get New Years I'll get Founders Day"

Disinterested by her mother's and Grace's animated talk about babies, Katie turned and focussed on the much more interesting café. It was busy and people sat clumped around the tables nearest the stoves to stave off the December chill. She removed her hand from her mother's skirt and pulled her mittens down a bit further to keep her hands warm. Seated in the centre of the café was a lady in a blue cloak and it was the prettiest thing that Katie had ever seen. She moved away from her Ma and ran to the table were the lady sat.

"Lo" Katie greeted the lady in the pretty cloak pulling herself onto a spare seat. "It's pretty" she pointed at the cloak.

"Thank you" the lady gave her a smile "I like yours" Katie preened under the attention "my name is Jessalyn, What is yours? "

"I Katie" she pointed to her chest to enforce her point. "I two an haf"

"Wow you're a big girl" Jessalyn smiled warmly at her "Where's your Mummy Katie?"

Katie pointed over her shoulder to where Michaela sat with Grace "Dare, she havin baby" Katie nodded her head, her eyes as wide as her smile "I big sista" she told Jessalyn "I not baby" Katie shook her head

"No you're a little girl" Jessalyn agreed with her.

Katie gave her a strange look and then erupted into giggles. "No, Mattew, Cowween, Bwan, me"

"I see, you won't be the baby anymore" Jessalyn deciphered

"Yup" Katie reached out to touch Jessalyn's cloak. "Soft"

"You can feel that through your mittens?" Jessalyn asked Katie with a smile on her face.

"Yup"

Jessalyn laughed and tweaked Katie's nose "You are a funny one" Katie giggled, Jessalyn reached in and tickled Katie under her chin, making the little girl squirm in delight.

"There you are" Michaela approached the table "Are you bothering the lady"

"Oh no she's keeping me company" Jessalyn tickled Katie again.

Katie giggled before looking up at Michaela "Deslyn dis Mama"

"Michaela Quinn" She extended her hand

"Jessalyn Borer" the young woman introduced herself.

Michaela moved to the chair opposite Jessalyn and sat down "Are you visiting someone in town?"

Jessalyn shook her head self consciously "No, I came looking for employment"

"Oh" Michaela pursed her lips "Well I'm afraid there is little in the way of employment for woman in Colorado Springs"

"Apart from the saloon" Jessalyn whispered quietly, her alabaster skin flushing with colour.

Michaela studied the young woman for a few moments, there was something amiss but she couldn't put her finger on it. "What will you do now?"

"Move on" Jessalyn gave a sigh "I should probably get a ticket to Denver"

"Do you have somewhere to stay in Denver" Michaela asked, her concern was rising for Jessalyn. The young woman looked to be about the same age as Colleen perhaps a little younger, but she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable; the way she was sat slightly hunched was nothing to do with cold but how she was feeling, Michaela was sure of it, and all she wanted to do was reach out and hug the girl like she would if it were Colleen. She frowned as she caught the sound of a faint wheeze in Jessalyn's breathing.

Jessalyn shook her head "No"

"You can't get the next train if you have nowhere to stay. It will be dark by the time you reach Denver. A city is no place for a young woman to walk about unaccompanied at night"

Jessalyn looked up at Michaela with curiosity, not getting her meaning, proving how innocent she really was. Michaela took a sharp intake of breath "You may stay with my family and I," Jessalyn opened her mouth to protest "I believe the Chateau is full, which would only leave the Gold Nugget" Michaela continued forcing Jessalyn's decision "and I'm sure Katie would like you to stay, wouldn't you sweetheart?"

Katie nodded fiercely, Michaela looked expectantly at Jessalyn.

"Thank you" Jessalyn whispered awkwardly.

Michaela rose from her seat and reached out for Katie "My clinic is just around the corner," she paused at Jessalyn's startled look "you are welcome to spend time in one of the recovery rooms until we head home, which will be at approximately four o'clock"

"I'll take in the sights" Jessalyn smiled, a smile with an edge of falseness about it.

Michaela nodded with understanding "Well don't get to cold" she counselled "Come on Katie" she reached for her daughter's hand

"I pway Deslyn?" Katie asked hopefully

Jessalyn smiled warmly at the little girl, a genuine smile that reached her soulful eyes "I don't mind watching her for you"

"Pwease" Katie begged her mother

Michaela nodded slowly "It would be most helpful for the next hour or so, several of my patients are not enamoured with children. However I do not want either of you getting cold, so please, the minute either of you begin to feel it please come to the clinic." She leant down and kissed Katie lovingly "I do not want to have you as patients."

* * *

Michaela looked through the window at the sound of approaching horses. Smiling she watched as Sully and Matthew neared the homestead. She wiped her hand on a cloth and crossed into the lounge, leaving the chore of peeling potatoes for a moment.

Brian sat with Jessalyn working on his homework problem together, a history question about the civil war, a subject which Jessalyn seemed well versed in.

"You're real good at this" Brian told her appreciatively "Still don't know how you know all the dates, I remember the places but never when it happened"

Jessalyn sighed "I went to a boarding school; much of our _free_ time was spent studying"

Michaela pondered Jessalyn's words, for the girl to have gone to boarding school she was more than likely from a wealthy family, making it strange that a she should be travelling about looking for work. Michaela took the opportunity to find out some more information about her house guest. "Where did you go to school?"

Jessalyn answered quickly "Mount Notre Dame" her skin blanched at her answer.

Michaela noted the change in the girl's skin but tried to keep the mood light "That's near Cincinnati is it not? I believe my sister was considering that school for her daughter. Mother did not approve so she went to a school outside of Boston"

"Why did Grandma not approve?" Brian asked, not looking up from his papers.

Before Michaela had a chance to answer his question, the front door opened and Sully and Matthew entered the house, bringing with them a burst of cold air.

Both men hesitated at the sight of Jessalyn sat at the table. "Sully, Matthew this is Jessalyn. Jessalyn this is my husband Sully and my eldest son Matthew" Michaela introduced her family to the girl. "Jessalyn will be staying with us until a suitable alternative can be found" Michaela smiled kindly at the young girl, extending Jessalyn's stay through her concern from a night to indefinite. She moved across the floor to greet Sully, kissing him softly "Were you successful?"

Sully nodded "Couple of rabbits, left them in the barn ta drain, I'll deal wit' them tomorrow. Also came across a new flock o' turkeys, I'll keep tabs on them," he raised his eyebrows and gave her a cheeky smile, his hand reaching out to stroke the small swell of her belly "got ta make sure I got a plump one for Christmas" Catching his statement's coarse double meaning, Michaela glanced down at her rising stomach, she opened her mouth to protest but Sully reached his finger under her chin guiding her face to look at him, his blue eyes communicating all his love for her. She smiled and leaned in to receive another kiss. Conscious of the children and Jessalyn, Michaela took a step away from Sully, but her husband moved so that he could keep one of his large strong hands tenderly placed against the small of her back.

"Now, supper will be ready in approximately 40 minutes, so you will have plenty of time to wash up and get warm" she glanced from Sully to Matthew, her content expression transforming, her brow knitting with worry as she saw the trouble expression that her son wore. "Matthew?" she took a step nearer to him, reaching out and placing her hands on his arm. Matthew gave a start at her touch and turned to look at her, his eyes unfocussed like he had been awoken from a dream "Are you feeling alright?" Michaela pressed her hand against Matthew's forehead checking for a fever.

Matthew shrugged out of her reach "I'm fine, just cold is all" he walked in the direction of the stairs. Sully blocked his path catching the young man's arm, their eyes met, and instantly Sully understood what was troubling him. He nodded imperceptivity and allowed Matthew to pass him. He turned back to his wife and nodded for her to enter the kitchen, away from the earshot of those in the lounge. "How long is she staying Michaela?" he asked her softly as they entered

Michaela pulled her eyes away from the stairs "I'm not certain, there is something amiss. She is by herself Sully, travelling looking for employment, but the way she speaks, the way she is attired, she appears to be from a wealthy family, it's highly unusual that..."

Sully brought her explanation to a halt by placing his forefinger gently to her lips "That's fine Michaela, but she can stay elsewhere, she don't have to stay with us"

Michaela looked up at him with surprise "What? Sully she cannot stay at the Gold Nugget, I will not allow it, and the Chateau is full, there is nowhere else"

"Michaela look at her, who does she remind you of?" Sully pressed her to study the girl.

Taking a step back so she could see round the fireplace, Michaela studied Jessalyn, who had pulled Katie onto her lap and was playing pat-a-cake with her. "Oh my" Michaela exhaled, suddenly seeing what Sully and Matthew had seen, for the first time seeing Jessalyn's resemblance to Ingrid.

"Ya see why she can't stay?" Sully pulled her into his arms "I know ya want to help her. Perhaps you could ask Dorothy or Cynthia, see if they got room ta take her, you'll still be able to watch over her, but Matthew won't have to see her every day, won't have to open up the hurt"

"I'll speak to them tomorrow" Michaela rested her head against Sully's chest and gave a shuddering breath, silently chastising herself for not seeing what was so plain to see.

* * *

Matthew drew the wagon to a halt in front of Cynthia's home; with Sully called away on a surveying job, Brian working at the gazette with Dorothy and Dr Mike held up with an emergency at the clinic, it had fallen to him to help Jessalyn move to the dressmaker's house. In the two days she had been at the homestead he had for the most part managed to avoid the girl, only having to face her during meal times and thankfully conversations had been avoided due to Katie, who seemed to have learnt a whole new vocabulary over the past few days and was therefore talking incessantly.

"Here ya are" Matthew moved to leap from the wagon in order that he could help her down.

"Matthew" Jessalyn's soft voice stopped him "Have I done something in order to upset you?"

He turned and faced her, her big blue eyes wide, her forehead creased, he shook his head "No, it's just ya look like someone that I... ya look like Ingrid"

Jessalyn tilted her head, her blonde hair falling across her powder blue cloak "She was important to you?"

"We were gonna get married, she died bout 3 years ago" he turned and leapt from the wagon. He pulled her bag from the back and looked at her "It's my issue, don' mean ta make ya feel uncomfortable" He crossed to offer a hand to help her down.

Not knowing how to respond to what he had just said, Jessalyn took his hand and carefully dismounted "Thank you" she smiled and held her hand out for her bag. Matthew ignored it and moved up the two steps to Cynthia's door. "I can carry it" Jessalyn followed him up the steps "I'm not weak"

"I'm just tryin ta be nice" Matthew retorted

Jessalyn smiled and moved as if she was going to attempt to take her bag, instead she placed her slender hand on Matthew's "You don't have to try Matthew"

He looked away embarrassed. Realising that they were stood in front of the doorway and neither had knocked he banged his hand against the wood. "I guess I'll see ya tomorrow" he attempted to fill the silence.

"Tomorrow?" Jessalyn queried "Oh church" her voice was soft

"Ya do go ta church?" Matthew looked at her curiously.

Jessalyn laughed slightly "I'm what the church would describe as confused, my Mother is Catholic, and my Father is Protestant, I went to a Catholic run school and attended two different services on a Sunday"

Matthew smiled for the first time in her presence "Well just got the one here"

"Then I most definitely will see you there" Jessalyn smiled warmly at him. She looked as if she was about to say more but Cynthia opened the door.

"Mrs Matheson" Matthew greeted her formally

"Cynthia" Cynthia corrected with a smile, she took a step back to allow them in, holding her arm wide to accept Jessalyn into her home.

Jessalyn stepped across the threshold but Matthew hesitated, nervously fiddling with the brim of his hat "Well I'll see ya tomorrow"

Cynthia looked between the two of them, "You're welcome to come in for some tea"

"Nah I should get back, Dr Mike's operatin' and she'll probably need a hand" Matthew excused himself, he gave Jessalyn a long look and then backed away, conscious that the two women were watching him as he climbed into the wagon. Seated he flicked the reins forcing the wagon to move away. He kept his head facing forward, refusing to look back even though he knew he was being watched.

* * *

"Mama"

Michaela looked up at her daughter's voice "Yes Sweetheart" she placed her pencil on top of the chart she had been updating and peered over her desk to see her little girl stood the other side gripping hold of the wood.

"Where Deslyn?" Katie asked peeking over the desk at her mother.

Michaela smiled, Jessalyn had been watching Katie for her for the past few days and it had helped her enormously, as it allowed her to devote herself to her work without being distracted by having to listen out for any issues her little one may have while upstairs. As well as that Katie had become very attached to Jessalyn, talking about her constantly even when at home. Michaela glanced at the clock, it was a little past 10 o'clock and while Jessalyn was usually there first thing in the morning, they had made no formal arrangement so Michaela had no call to expect her to be there. "She is probably helping Miss Cynthia out"

"Not come" Katie's voice rose in distress and she rushed round to her mother, her brown eyes wide and watery.

Michaela tenderly stroked Katie's face "She may do later" Katie buried her face in Michaela's lap with a dramatic sob. Michaela ran her hand down Katie's back "sweetheart" Katie looked up at the comforting tone of her mother's voice "Is it so bad that you would have to spend the day with your Ma?" Katie shook her head "Are you sure?" Michaela asked, stifling a laugh she wanted to express at Katie's behaviour. Katie nodded "You don't seem very sure, let me see that smile" Katie pressed her left ear against her shoulder and turned the corners of her mouth up shyly "Oh" Michaela pretended to be upset "I don't think you do"

Katie looked at Michaela's upset expression and gently patted her Ma's knee "Love Mama" she gave a beaming smile.

"Good" Michaela bent forward and pulled her giggling daughter onto her knee "I love my Katie to" she hugged her little girl tightly.

The door banged open startling her and Loren stumbled in supporting Jessalyn. Michaela deposited Katie on the floor and rushed to assist him "What happened?"

Cynthia rushed into the clinic "She's been ill most of the night, her breathing all ragged. She's been fighting something, she was feverish all night but it broke this morning, she's just so lethargic"

Loren ease the stricken girl onto the examination table "Was supposed to have breakfast this mornin' when Cynthia didn't show I went out looking for her, found them and brought them straight here"

Michaela assessed Jessalyn's condition, her breathing was laboured, her chest rattling, her lips tinged blue, the rest of her face deathly white "Why didn't you get me sooner?" she directed her question at Cynthia.

"I didn't want to leave her by herself, and it was so cold last night, I thought it best to keep her in the warm and try and get the fever to break" Cynthia explained, wringing her hands in concern.

"You did the right thing" Michaela agreed. She became aware of Katie's hand pulling on her skirt. "Could you take..." she started to ask Cynthia to take her daughter but Loren swooped in first.

"Come on Katie girl" the old man scooped her into his arms "Let's go get some candy" he held the little girl in front of him and positioned his jacket around her so that she would be protected from the cold. Terrified by what was occurring the little girl pushed her face into his chest with a whimper. Loren nodded a goodbye at the two women and moved from the clinic closing the door behind him.

Michaela brushed Jessalyn's sweat laden hair from her face, the girl appeared to be semi conscious, exhausted by the illness she had been fighting "Jessalyn are you asthmatic?" Michaela asked. Jessalyn managed to shake her head, her blue eye's fluttering. "Cynthia will you help me remove her top. I need to listen to her chest" Michaela requested. Cynthia moved forward and together the struggled to remove the outer layer of the Jessalyn's clothing. Michaela's eyes widened as they pulled Jessalyn's slender arms out of her sleeves, her mouth dropped open as she saw the fingerprint sized bruises that covered the young girl's pale skin, some no doubt cause by her own firm grip that she had used to keep Jessalyn sat upright.

"Michaela?" Cynthia queried, her eyes widening at the marks. Michaela shook her head, indicating that she didn't know what was occurring in the girl's body. Quickly Michaela pressed the bell of her stethoscope onto Jessalyn's chest, listening for a moment before transferring the bell to the girl's back.

"I don't believe it's her lungs" Michaela explained indicated to Cynthia to gently lower Jessalyn to lie flat on the table. Michaela moved to her instrument case and pulled out her tongue depressor. She quickly examined Jessalyn's mouth "Her throat is inflamed, can you pass me the pillow from the cot?" she requested. Receiving the pillow from Cynthia, Michaela carefully propped Jessalyn to a slightly more raised position, her breathing seemed to ease.

"What's wrong with her?" Cynthia asked,

Michaela shook her head "I'm not certain, she appears anaemic, which can sometimes cause breathing difficulties and would account for the pallor of her skin. She seems to have a throat infection; it could be a series of unconnected ailments, but these bruises" she pointed at the marks "suggest it's something more serious"

Jessalyn mumbled something and Michaela moved to her head, gently stroking Jessalyn's damp hair "Jessalyn?"

"Blood" Jessalyn's mumbled

"Blood?" Michaela frowned, not comprehending what Jessalyn was trying to say.

Jessalyn took a wheezing breath and opened her eyes. She attempted to focus on Michaela "Doctor's said...There ... something wrong... with my...blood" she panted.

Michaela stroked the side of the girl's head soothingly "Did they say what?"

Jessalyn shook her head, wincing as the movement caused pain, "It's alright" Michaela soothed, "It's alright"

"What can you do?" Cynthia nervously tapped the edge of the examining table.

Michaela moved to her medicine store. "I'll give her laudanum for the pain, and I have a tea which will help with the infection and fever"

Cynthia followed the physician with her gaze, her hand reaching to grip the stricken girl "Will it help?"

Michaela looked at the other woman as she measured out a dose of medicine, unable to answer she took a deep breath, and gave Cynthia a look that communicated her concern. Both women knowing that anything that was administered was based on guesswork.

* * *

Jessalyn stirred, her eyes flickered open, squinting against the light she gazed around the unfamiliar room. Seeing Matthew in the corner she took a deep breath, alerting him to the fact she was awake.

"How ya feelin'?" Matthew asked sitting forward in the chair

"Better, tired" her voice was croaky and strained, her pain and discomfort evident.

"Ya should get some more rest" Matthew told her, rising and moving towards her so that she would not have to strain her eyes "Do you want some water?"

"Please"

Carefully Matthew assisted her in moving to a more upright position and helped her take a few gulps of the cool liquid. Jessalyn sighed with relief "Dr Mike is downstairs" Matthew assured her "she's with a patient, and she sent Cynthia to get something to eat and to go get your things. That's why I'm here"

"She wanted someone to watch me" Jessalyn surmised

"She's worried" Matthew tried to explain "She said you knew you were sick"

Jessalyn looked at her hands guiltily "My parents took me to lots of doctors back home, all they could agree on was that something was wrong with my blood" she sighed "and that I was getting worse"

"How long ya been like it?" Matthew asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"About 5 months" Jessalyn blinked away tears "They started to talk about facing the inevitable. My parents wanted me to be confined, prolong what I had left" she paused taking several deep breaths "I wanted to see the world, see the places we learnt about in school, China, India, Italy, Paris, London, and they wanted me to sit in my room and wait to..." she pretty face crumpled, tears rolling down her face, her breathing becoming more laboured.

"Easy now" Matthew moved to help her but unsure what to do ended up hovering near her head.

"I didn't want to die in that room" she gasped as she said the word die, for the first time in her illness accepting the word into her vocabulary "I don't want to wait to die, I don't want to die lying in a bed. I want to see things, go places, fall in love, have babies, dance under the stars," she coughed her thin body shaking with the force, "I want to laugh and shout and scream and ride a horse and go ice skating, drink liquor, and play cards, have a life" her entire body was trembling as she finished speaking.

Without saying a word Matthew placed his arms around her, holding her in a warm embrace. Jessalyn leant her head against his chest, her body shaking with the force of her tears and the effort it took to remain upright.

* * *

Michaela smiled through her fatigue as Dorothy walked into the clinic the second after her last patient had left.

"You look tired" the red head observed.

Michaela placed her right hand to support her aching lower back and brought her left up to massage her neck. Her entire body was calling for her to crawl into bed, but she knew that she couldn't not with Jessalyn so sick upstairs "It's been a difficult day"

Dorothy observed her friend and took a step forward; gently she guided Michaela to sit on the cot at the edge of the room. "Now you sit and rest" she sat beside Michaela, "I found out some information about Jessalyn" she held out the paper that she had been holding in her hands "This was from a Denver paper the day before she arrived here" Michaela took the paper from her friend, before she got a chance to read it Dorothy indicated for her to turn slightly. With her back presented to Dorothy the red head began to gently massage her aching shoulders. Michaela let out a sigh of relief "Now it won't be as good as yours, or Sully's I'll wager, but you look like you need it"

"Thank you" Michaela exhaled, one part of her body feeling almost normal again under her friend's confident touch. Feeling much better Michaela turned her attention to the paper in her hand.

_The Borer family of Cincinnati, Ohio, are calling for information about Jessalyn Silke Borer, 18. Miss Borer who is described as slender, and stands a little over 5' 4" with blonde hair and blue eyes, vanished on November 23__rd__ on her way to St John's Church on the corner of 12__th__ and Elm Streets in Over-the-Rhine. The family, founders of the prestigious law firm Cleveland and Borer, Cincinnati, OH. believe she is travelling in a South West direction are appealing for information_

Michaela lowered the paper to her lap with a sigh. Dorothy paused in her massage "It doesn't say anything about her being sick"

"No it doesn't" Michaela glanced back at the paper to read the rest of the article, the only further information it gave was where to send news of sightings.

"Are you going to contact them?" Dorothy asked as Michaela turned to face her, she frowned as Michaela shook her head "Why not?"

Michaela exhaled slowly "She's of age, and she has not asked for me to contact her family" she struggled to rise from the low bed, her back painful twinging with each movement.

"But Michaela" Dorothy stood up and held a hand out to assist her friend in standing.

Michaela studiously ignoring the proffered hand finally stood up straight "I cannot contact them Dorothy, not without her consent, she is a patient and she is of age, so unless she requests it I have no choice but to remain silent" she gave Dorothy a loaded look, one which meant while she could do nothing there was little stopping her.

"I think I best see if Horace is still open" Dorothy gave a small smile and started for the door, before she left she turned back to her friend "Do you need anything?"

Michaela shook her head "No I'll be fine" she supported her back with her hands "The boys are staying at the homestead" she caught Dorothy's concerned look "If I need anything I know where you are"

"You do that" Dorothy widened her eyes and walked back across the room, she pulled Michaela into a comforting hug "I worry about you when Sully is away. Don't overdo it, you're expecting remember" she smiled at Michaela kindly, almost motherly "you and that baby come first"

* * *

Brian watched as his brother toyed with his food "It ain't that bad" he sounded exasperated "Besides if you think you can do better you should do the cooking" he angrily speared a piece of potato.

"No it ain't that, it's alright" Matthew looked up at his brother's angry tone "It's just..." he trailed of and resumed pushing his peas around his plate with his fork.

Brian looked back at his brother, he scowled as he realised he had misunderstood Matthew's reluctance to eat the food he had prepared "Jessalyn"

Matthew leant back in his chair with a sigh "It ain't fair. You make all these plans and ya can't do 'em cause the time gets robbed from ya"

Brian puffed out his face as he considered his brother's words, slowly he deflated his rounded cheeks by blowing out slowly. He knew that Matthew was not only talking about Jessalyn, that Ingrid was also weighing heavily on his mind "What she want to do?"

"Wants to travel, see all the places she learned about in school"

"Like Gettysberg?"

Matthew shook his head "No like China and India, places in Europe"

Brian pondered this for a moment, the table falling back into silence with only the sound of cutlery sliding across the china plates. Finishing his meal Brian crossed his knife and fork on the plate. "Maybe we can take her" Matthew stared at his younger brother like he was insane "Not for real. In the recovery room, like pretend. We could make lanterns like Peter taught us, and there are books in the library we can read and I'm sure Miss Grace could make some special food and Miss Cynthia will have some fabric we could use to make costumes." Brian smiled "World tour right here in Colorado Springs"

Matthew grinned widely at his brother and reached out tousling his hair

"Hey" Brian protested, swatting Matthew's hand away "I ain't a kid"

"No" Matthew playfully tried to mess up his brother's hair again "You're a genius"

* * *

The soft patting on her arm became insistent and more forceful, causing Michaela to peel open her sleep heavy eyes. She gave a murmur of surprise as she found Katie's face barely in inch from her own, her little girl wide awake. "Mama" Katie whispered, her voice laced with urgency.

Michaela rolled onto her back before pushing herself up into a seated position. "Do you need to go potty?"Katie shook her head, she appeared frightened, and Michaela reached out to pull her into a comforting hug, the type only a mother can give "Did you have a bad dream?" she felt Katie's head shudder against her chest indicating that she hadn't. Michaela opened her mouth to ask another question when she heard what had evidently startled her daughter, a hacking cough, followed by a moan drifting through the thin wall from the other recovery room. Releasing her grip on Katie Michaela rose from the bed, quickly rushing to the other room.

Michaela entered and found Jessalyn struggling to sit up, her thin body drenched in sweat, her chests rattling with every laboured breath she took. Suddenly her stricken body was overcome by a vicious coughing fit, she gave a whimper after each painful involuntary action her body was forced to make, her left hand reaching to her mouth through ingrained manners. The coughing fit over Jessalyn slumped down in the bed again. Terrified and exhausted she focussed her eyes on Michaela "Can't breathe" she panted,

Michaela rushed forward to assist her, turning the lamp up in order that she could see better. "Oh no" the words escaped her lips, her sleep deprived mind unable to hold them back. Jessalyn's white shift was stained yellow by the sputum she was producing with each cough, the sticky yellow infection that came with pneumonia clinging to the fabric. Michaela reached for a cloth that sat beside a bowl and dampened it, running the moistened cloth across Jessalyn's forehead, trying to cool her down. "I need you stay still, keep the cloth there to help bring the fever down" Michaela requested placing the cloth squarely on Jessalyn's dripping forehead "I need to get you some medicine, quinine, it will help" she flinched as Jessalyn began coughing violently again.

"Mama" Michaela spun to find Katie stood clinging to the doorframe, her little face screwed up in terror.

"It's alright sweetheart" Michaela moved to her daughter and lifted her up "Jessalyn has a nasty cough, you come with me and help make her some medicine" she glanced back at the young girl in the bed, the sight making her move with haste.

* * *

With assurances from their mother that Jessalyn had improved enough from the terrible attack two nights before to enjoy what they had planned, the boys began stacking their props up outside the door of the recovery room. Dressed in their first costume and with the food prepared by Grace ready, they carefully dressed Katie up as a little conductor and ushered her into the bedroom.

Jessalyn looked up as the door opened, from her prone position all she could see was the top of a navy blue hat. Katie reached the bed and thrust the paper she was carrying at Jessalyn. Puzzled Jessalyn pulled herself into a more upright position and took the documents from the little girl studying them, each painstakingly done to imitate the real documents they were representing, tickets for the Clinic Express and the Colorado Springs Ocean Steamer and a programme for Cooper World Tours. Jessalyn looked at the little girl in confusion. The door opened once more and Brian entered, dressed like a China man.

He scurried to the bed and bent down low presenting her with a bowl of dumplings "Welcome to China" he spoke in mock Pidgin English.

"China?" Jessalyn queried with a smile. Brian straightened up, depositing Katie on the bed so she could enjoy the show. Matthew entered the room, dressed as a Buddhist monk, dragging with him the first of a series of murals that Brian had painted on old board, this one depicting the Great Wall. "Matthew?" Jessalyn questioned "What is happening?"

Matthew smiled "Read ya programme.

Brian stood by Matthew his smile wide "You're on the Cooper World Tour, first stop China then India and beyond" be bowed low again falling back into character "Behold the wonders of the Great Wall"

* * *

At a little after eight Michaela put down her medical journal and headed to the upstairs floor of the clinic, all her research into the possible causes for Jessalyn's illness had come to naught, still things were beginning to look positive Jessalyn was responding well to the treatment and had fallen asleep happy after the boys had spent the afternoon entertaining her. Tiredly Michaela made her way up the stairs first checking on her sleeping daughter before moving to Jessalyn's room.

As soon as she entered the room, Michaela knew something was wrong. Even in the dim light she could see that Jessalyn was slumped at an awkward angle and the shallow rattling sound told her that the girls lungs were full of fluid. Michaela rushed to the bedside, Jessalyn was wet with fever and she was gasping struggling for breath as she drowned in her own lungs. Michaela knew she needed to drain some of the fluid for Jessalyn to stand any chance of survival. She made to reach out to support and carry the girl downstairs, she stopped and glanced down, bringing her hand to cup her growing abdomen, she knew Jessalyn was slight but she also knew it was too much of a risk. Alone bar Katie she rushed to the patio door that led to the balcony outside. In the cold darkness she could make out men stood at the doorway of the hotel, recognising the tall figure of Hank she screamed out to him "HANK, I NEED HELP"

Hank's head jerked up at the sound of Michaela's anguished cry he watched as she rushed back into the room before running across the street and forcing his way into the clinic.

Matthew and Brian broke into a run as they heard their mother scream for help. They rounded the corner of the alleyway, running from the cafe where they had been eating supper. By the time they entered Hank had already carried down Jessalyn and had set her on the table. Their little sister's crying could be heard from above and Brian rushed towards the upstairs area to quieten her so that Michaela could work without distraction. Matthew walked slowly towards the table, he knew without needing a medical degree that her condition was grave.

"She's gonna die" he whispered.

"I'm going drain the fluid from her lungs" Michaela told him setting up her equipment at a frantic pace "She'll be able to breathe properly"

"Dr Mike, she's gonna die" Matthew repeated taking a step closer to the table.

Michaela shook her head, pulling her apron on. "MA" Matthew shouted, making her jump in surprise, "she's gonna die" he stepped forward and pushed his arms beneath Jessalyn. Lifting her into his arms and turning towards the door.

"Matthew" Michaela rushed to try and stop her son from taking the sick girl outside but found Hank blocking her way.

The tall bar tender placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, preventing her from following her son outside "He's right" Michaela shrugged her shoulder from his grip and walked slowly to the open doorway so that she could observe what was happening.

Matthew stood in the centre of the snow covered street, holding Jessalyn close to him, her bare feet were resting on his boots and he swayed gently from side to side "Jessalyn" Matthew coaxed the semi conscious girl "Jessalyn open your eyes" she peeled them open, the effort of doing so etched across her pained face "Look up" Matthew whispered holding her tightly "We're dancing under the stars" He turned in a circle watching her blue eyes widen a tiny smile form on her lips. Matthew closed his eyes as he felt her body tremble with her last breath. He kept his eyes closed as he felt Hank's surprisingly soft touch take her body from him, keeping them firmly shut until Dr Mike gently folded her arms around him. He couldn't open his eyes until he knew she was gone, her body taken out of sight, he couldn't see her blue eyes lifeless, he wanted, no needed his last memory of her to be the look of wonder as she gazed upon the inky black and it's shining adornments.

* * *

Michaela waited until the Borer's carriage had left the homestead before she ventured outside. The meeting had been awkward and tense, Jessalyn's mother sobbing the entire time, her father stoic in his grief; They had thanked her for her efforts and presented her with an envelope of bank notes to 'cover the cost of her care', before asking for a moment alone with Matthew.

Cautiously Michaela approached her son and sank down beside him onto the cold hard step.

"You shouldn't sit out here" Matthew muttered without looking at her "Ain't good for you"

"I'll go in when you go in" Michaela told him, gently placing her hand on his arm. They sat in silence for a few moments before her motherly concern got the better of her "What did they want to talk to you about?"

Matthew sighed "They wanted to thank me"

"Thank you" Michaela repeated, squeezing his arm as she felt it tremble with the effort he was using to keep the tears at bay.

"'parrently Dorothy told 'em what me and Brian did. They wanted me to know that that would have made her happy" he sighed heavily and gripped hold of her hand. "Her father offered me a job"

"What?" Michaela was startled and her grip on his arm unconsciously became tighter.

"Dorothy told 'em 'bout what I was doing. He offered me a job at his law firm as a way of saying thank you for what I did for her"

Michaela studied her eldest son speechless. An uneasy silence fell between them.

Feeling his adopted mother shiver with the cold Matthew turned to look at her "I'm taking it" he took a sharp intake of breath as he watched her face fall. "I need to take it" he leant forward and kissed her tenderly on the cheek "I have to; I have to take the chance"

Michaela nodded, biting her lip to prevent herself from crying. "I understand" she whispered, the tone of her voice telling Matthew she was heartbroken.

"I lived here my entire life" Matthew pulled her into a hug, wishing that his decision wouldn't hurt her so much "Jessalyn didn't even get a chance to live her life, neither did Ingrid. I want to live a life" Michaela opened her mouth to tell him he could have a life in Colorado Springs but his next utterance silenced her "I got to take the chance, like you did coming here."

Michaela fought back her own feelings "When will you go?" she quietly accepted his choice.

"After Christmas. I start in the new year" he looked her up and down, his eyes finally falling on the gentle swell beneath her skirt. Slowly brought his hand down to touch her stomach "I'll be back, wild horses couldn't keep me away from seein' this little one" he removed his hand and leant forward taking her into his arms again "Thank you" tears started to roll down his face. "Thank you Dr Mike, thank you for being my Ma"

* * *

**Leukaemia was first observed by pathologists in 1885. In 1962, researchers used combination chemotherapy to attempt to cure leukaemia. The tests were successful with some patients surviving long after the tests. In 2000, approximately 256,000 children and adults around the world developed some form of leukaemia, and the disease caused 209,000 deaths. Leukaemia prevents the immune system from working normally, which can lead to life-threatening pneumonia.**


	6. A first Christmas

_Because I feel bad about making everyone cry, and because I've had the week off from work and have got a fantastic amount of work done, I'm posting the next chapter. Thank you to everyone who read the last one and as I admitted to Rachel Selina, the bit at the end got me too. Hopefully this one will not make you cry unless you are a sentimental type as it is a bit schmaltzy but then as you can tell from the title it's a Christmas chapter which I think by law have to have a certain element of schmaltz. For you Sully lovers he's back this episode ;)_

_I have to add a new disclaimer to say the passage from a Christmas Carol belongs to whomever owns the rights to Mr Dickens novel_

_Kate_

_x_

_

* * *

_

A first Christmas

Sully watched his wife with rising contentment. He had arrived home a week ago from a work trip to find his family despondent after the untimely death of Jessalyn and Michaela melancholic at the news that Matthew would be leaving. But now as the train rolled closer to town he could see the remains of her stark mood melt away, and be replaced with excitement and joy of her family being together once more. In the last two days with all her preparations for the holiday he had seen her come alive again, her normal radiance had bloomed and then been eclipsed as the glow that accompanied pregnancy flushed across her face. She was heart-stoppingly beautiful, her skin glowing, her long gorgeous hair, lustrous and thick, prettily curled and arranged down her back in cascading waves. Her thin hands were folded in front of her burgeoning belly, every so often moving to touch a spot where she felt the baby move, movement he could not yet feel, but with the rate the baby was growing he was sure it would not be long before he did.

Patiently they waited as engine number two lumbered to a stop. It humoured him how much alike mother and daughter could be, Michaela bobbing up and down in anticipation, her speech rapid to the point that she was speaking too fast for his brain to register what she was saying; just like Katie every time Colleen or the word present was mentioned.

Finally passengers started to emerge from the carriage and Sully was glad that they had not brought their youngest child with them, with the bustle of the packed station, and Michaela so excited he wasn't sure he could handle her as well. Eventually he saw Colleen and Andrew walk from the carriage, he smiled at how different Colleen looked, dressed like a city lady, as far away as possible from the scrappy eleven year old kid who Michaela had taken in seven years ago. He let his wife rush forward to embrace her daughter before slowly following.

"Andrew, good to see ya" he greeted his bewildered looking son-in-law.

Andrew gave a smile "Sully" he held out his hand. Sully took it with a smile and took the younger man's hand shaking it as he brought his free hand to pat his son-in-law gently on the back of his expensive Callahan frock coat "How was the trip?"

"Long" Andrew smiled tiredly.

Both men fell silent as they turned their attention to their wives. Colleen was mid flow extolling her mother with all she was learning at medical school, Michaela eager for details drinking in every word, smiling to the point that it looked like her face might crack. Colleen paused to take a breath

Sully took the initiative and interjected "We best be getting home" he tenderly touched Michaela's back "Got a couple of boys and a very excited little girl who are desperate to see you"

"Why didn't they come to the station?" Colleen asked, her voice laced with new found disappointment as Sully highlighted the fact that her brother's were not waiting to meet her.

Sully grinned "Sorting out the tree"

"Are they decorating it?" Colleen looked alarmed, almost distraught at the thought of being left out.

Sully gave a snort of laughter and pulled his eldest daughter into a hug "Without you or ya Ma, ya kidding right" Sully released his daughter "Come on" he addressed Andrew, "Let's get ya bags, then we'll get ya back to the homestead"

"That would be most agreeable" Andrew nodded "I feel the need to relax after the trip" he noticed the bemused expression that Sully wore "What am I missing?"

Sully chortled and started to guide him to where the baggage was being stacked when out of earshot he inclined his head back towards the two women "Relax, You sure ya stayin' with the right family?"

* * *

With her three grown children and Andrew crowded around the tree, there was little room for Michaela, so she made do by sitting in one of the wing back chairs passing them ribbons and ornaments and suggesting the appropriate place for the decorations to be situated. She felt so relaxed, more then she had in a while, the sight of her family in front of her, in her home where she knew they were all safe, filled her with happiness. She glanced towards Sully, watching him as he tenderly cradled their slumbering daughter, the excitement had proven too much for Katie and once she had greeted everyone she had quickly fallen asleep.

"Can we put presents under it yet Ma?" Brian asked hopefully as he took a step back to survey their handiwork.

Michaela smiled at her youngest son, "I don't think your little sister will have the willpower to leave them alone" she laughed slightly at Brian's disappointed expression, her 14 year old son looking so childlike.

"You're probably right" Brian muttered, he suddenly smiled "I want to do the angel" he moved to get the tree top from its box.

"No wait Brian" Colleen called, she moved to where she and Andrew's belongings sat stacked near the stairs "I've got a new decoration for the top of the tree"

"A new decoration" Michaela repeated turning to watch her daughter.

"Ma it's beautiful" Colleen carefully removed a box from a bag which evidently held their gifts; she rushed to show her mother the contents. Carefully she peeled back the tissue to reveal a beautiful gold star.

Michaela gasped in shock, the star was constructed from a latticework of what looked like solid gold, adorning the latticework were red stones, that Michaela hoped were garnet and not the rubies they appeared to be "Colleen where did you get this?" Michaela whispered, wondering how her daughter and son-in-law could possibly afford such a lavish item when they were on a single income and paying for Colleen's tuition.

"Dr and Mrs Whittaker gave it to us, to celebrate our first Christmas. Dr Whittaker is the chief of staff at Andrew's hospital" Colleen beamed at her mother, clearly pleased that she and her new husband had been recognised by someone so high up in the medical world they inhabited.

"Shall I put it on?" Andrew moved forward, reaching to take star from its box.

"No" Brian suddenly interjected, a frown on his face as he stared at what was in the box "I like the angel" he folded his arms "Goes with the other decorations"

"I suppose it does match the eclectic nature of the tree" Andrew agreed pulling his hands behind his back to study the tree which was awash with ribbons, and ornaments, a mixture of wooden animals carved by Sully and Michaela's more traditional glass balls.

"But Ma, it was a gift" Colleen pleaded turning to Michaela,

"So was the angel" Brian countered "Aunt Rebecca gave it to Ma" he defiantly stuck the angel on the top of the tree, sticking his chin out obstinately, daring his sister to remove it.

Colleen sighed "Fine, then will you permit me to use the other decorations I brought?"

Michaela cast an uneasy look at Sully, who gave a small shrug indicating that it was her decision. "What are they?" she asked cautiously.

Colleen once again crossed to her bag. "I saw these in a catalogue and thought I would try to make them" she turned to reveal a series of colourful embroidered strips of fabric "They are napkin ties, and I embroidered a set of napkins. I thought it might be nice to have a set special for the holiday. Also I bought this" she dove back into her bag bringing out another box "It's for Katie, it's an advent countdown." Carefully she crossed to her mother "I know it won't be much good for this year" she knelt beside her mother opening the box to show her mother "It's a peg toy, she places the right number shape on the board and it makes a picture of the nativity"

Michaela affectionately stroked Colleen's cheek, "It's lovely," she reached for the strip of fabric in her daughter's hand "As are these"

"You'll use them" Colleen's face lit up. Michaela nodded and her eldest daughter scampered away to bring out the rest of the napkins from her bag. "Oh Pa I forgot to ask" Colleen began speaking from by her belongings "Where should I put the goose?"

"Goose?" the family turned to look at her

"Andrew and I brought a goose to cook on Christmas Day" Colleen held out a basket of food.

"Sully caught a turkey" Brian told her "Goose ain't traditional"

"Its fashionable, they served it at the college celebration" Colleen told him "I was going to roast the potatoes in the fat, they taste wonderful. Don't they Andrew"

"Oh yes" Andrew nodded his head before looking at the ground self consciously.

"I was going to cook" Michaela told Colleen quietly.

"But..." Colleen face fell as she started to protest,

Matthew stepped forward in an attempt to stop the tension that was rising in the room "Maybe we could cook both. One on Christmas Eve one on Christmas Day, that way we could take some in for the Reverend and Loren, and I doubt Grace will feel much like cooking"

"That's a wonderful idea Matthew" Michaela settled back in her chair, pleased that a solution had been found.

"But I wanted to cook for you" Colleen explained setting the basket on the table "I got these new recipes that I want you to try, and I want this Christmas meal to be special"

Sully frowned as he caught sight of Michaela's hurt expression, he knew that Colleen's words had not meant to be spiteful but with Michaela feeling as fragile she was he could see that she was stung by the inference that her cooking was not good enough.

"Colleen" his tone was stern "Ya Ma is cooking." He raised his eyebrows, indicating to his daughter that the topic was closed.

"Fine" Colleen huffed "Andrew, this needs to be taken upstairs" she indicated her bags.

Sully could tell that she was upset, but when it came to keeping someone from hurt he would always side with Michaela "I'll help"

"No thank you Sully" Colleen's voice was cool "Andrew can manage. If you don't mind I'm tired from the trip I think I shall go lie down" she started to march up the stairs

"What about supper?" Michaela called after her.

"I'm not hungry" Colleen called as she ascended the stairs, her voice petulant.

Michaela sighed and slumped back in the chair, her happiness ebbing away as the unpleasant atmosphere permeated the room.

* * *

Sully walked slowly along the upstairs passageway of the homestead, his arms laden with logs to keep the fire in his and Michaela's room burning all night. The wooden walls did little to shield him from the conversations happening in the children's room, the boys fretting over the fact they had not yet completed a present they were making, Andrew trying to start a conversation with Colleen about some acquaintance of his. He entered the bedroom and his smile faltered. Michaela was stood before her wardrobe rifling through the contents, wearing just her undergarments.

"Lost something?" he asked with trepidation, placing the logs by the hearth

Michaela turned and looked at him, her hands on her hips, a look of frustration on her pretty face. "I have one smart dress in which I look presentable in"

"Presentable?"

"Looks as it should" Michaela half explained "Everything else, if I can even get it on, is worn at the wrong height, shows my ankles, or is all slanted at the front. I look a mess" she sighed, her shoulders sagging "I should have arranged for Cynthia to make me something, why am I so stubborn? why am I so..."

Sully stepped forward knowing where she was heading "Ya about the same size you were with Katie"

"Huge! I mean look at this" she indicated her strained undergarments, her chemise taught against her abdomen the buttons starting to pull, her bloomers unfastened yet held up by her belly "I'm 16 weeks pregnant Sully, I should not be this big" she lamented

"It's probably coz ya so tiny normally" Sully tried to sooth "and Katie probably stretched ya out"

She made a noise of exasperation and turned back to her wardrobe "That doesn't help the fact that I have one smart dress that I can wear for the entire holiday period in which I look at least partway decent"

"I only got one suit" Sully reasoned, he sighed, he knew this display was a way for her to get her frustration out over what had happened earlier, as always attacking herself rather than speak ill of the family.

"A suit is a suit Sully, it doesn't have the same impact" She pulled out a blue dress, the one she had worn at the Thanksgiving they had shared with the Cheyenne at the cafe. With its structured bodice it was a hopeless notion that she could get it on

He could tell she was near to tears "Sit down" he requested, pulling her away from the wardrobe, she moved but she did not sit on the bed "Caela sit down" he asked her again. She looked up at him as he dropped the first syllable of her name, the only person she permitted to do so. With a shuddering sigh she complied, dropping heavily onto the mattress. Sully knelt before her and cupped her face "Now first off you're beautiful, ya ain't huge, and it don't matter what you wear long as ya comfortable" he pressed his finger against her lips to stop her from interrupting him, "Second I know that what I say won't make ya feel a whole lot better, coz I know ya scared what people think o' ya. But the people who matter won't care if they can see ya ankles or if your skirt is all slanted" he bent down low reaching deep under the bed "Thirdly, I knew that still won't make ya feel better so I got ya this" he righted himself and presented her with a box "I was gonna save this for Christmas mornin' but now seems a good time" he helped her remove the lid "It ain't for keeps, just borrowed" Michaela stared at the neatly folded white muslin dress in the box before looking up at Sully searching for an explanation "I wanted ta get Cynthia to make ya something t' wear, but she didn't have enough time with all her other orders. Thing is she don't just make dresses she collects them. So she leant ya this, its empire line" he looked at her hoping she would understand what that meant "'Parently it's a good waist for ladies having a baby. She said it's from about 1810" he carefully lifted the dress from its box holding it at its full length against his torso to show her the simple but beautiful detailing "I thought it would look pretty with your hair, I know it ain't got much sleeves, so just look surprised when ya open some of ya other gifts" he smiled sheepishly at her. His face dropped as she started to cry.

Sully threw the dress on the bed and dropped to his knees "Michaela?"

"Oh Sully" she took a gulp of air "I... you're..."

"ssh" Sully soothed her moving to sit next to her on the bed, so that he could hug her in a way that was comfortable for her.

She snuggled in against him, her palm resting against his chest. After taking a few gulping breaths of air she finally spoke "You are the most thoughtful and kind man"

"I try" he kept his tone light

"Thank you" she turned her face up to him and kissed his cheek. He held her tightly knowing she had more to say, after a few moments of silence she spoke again "Do you think I should let Colleen cook?"

"I think ya should both cook, together,"

"But what about all the new recipes she wants to cook" She shifted her weight slightly

"As long as it don't get in the way of what you want to cook, then let her"

"But what if what I want to cook isn't special enough" she looked up him, her eyes burdened with tears ready to be cried.

Sully kissed her tenderly "Ain't the food that makes a meal special, it's who ya share it with" he kissed her again, pleased to see that she was smiling slightly, "Now come on, it's late and baby needs to get to bed, it's past it's bed time." He gently began to undo the buttons on her chemise, revealing her swollen form to the night air

Michaela shivered "Just baby?" she rubbed her belly lovingly "I think his Ma might need to get to bed too"

"His?" Sully grinned at her.

"Or her" she added, her smile wavered as he undid her last button.

Sully craned his neck forward and softly kissed the bare skin of her stomach, once, twice, three times. Stroking her arm with feathery loving touches he looked up "Like I said, beautiful"

* * *

Andrew finished unpacking their various trunks and turned to face the bed. Colleen sat listlessly 'reading' a school book, but he could tell by the way she was staring at it, her eyes stationary, that she was dwelling on what had happened earlier.

"I think that is enough for today" he moved to take the book from her grip "We are meant to be on holiday" he gave her a quick kiss "remember"

Colleen remained stoic, either refusing or unable to move. "Colleen" Andrew frowned, she had been so excited to be travelling home, barely sleeping the entire journey and excitedly telling him all that they would do, to the point that he had felt he had spent Christmas with the Sully's every previous year of his life, he had even shared her excitement. The day sounding so different from the normal Boston stuffiness he endured rather than enjoyed. "Colleen" he repeated climbing into bed alongside her.

"Good night Andrew" she whispered, her voice small, she still did not move, neither turning to give him his goodnight kiss nor lowering the lamp.

"We should talk about what's bothering you" Andrew cleared his throat "It's unhealthy to go to sleep dwelling,"

She finally moved, turning her head stiffly to look at him "Do you think we were wrong to come here?"

He frowned "No course not, I told you I did not want to go to my parents for the holiday"

"Maybe we should have gone to Grandma's" Colleen sighed

"If we had gone to Boston my parents would have expected us to stay with them" he reached and took her hand, carefully holding it

"Perhaps we should have invited everyone to stay with us"

Andrew gave a light laugh "And where would they have slept? Besides it is unwise for your mother to travel such a distance in her condition" he noted her reaction when he mentioned Michaela "I do not believe Michaela would mind if you cooked something a little different from the norm, as long as you explain to her"

"You saw her reaction, besides Sully said she's cooking" Colleen sighed heavily again

"I believe she would appreciate the help" he leaned in closer to her, his voice dropping to a low whisper "I know my taste buds would appreciate it" His joke had no effect "I think you just surprised her. I don't think she was expecting you to come in and try and take over"

"Take over!" Colleen's voice rose dangerously

"Like you did before" Andrew tried to explain "I know you always did the cooking before and with you away she has had to get used to doing it herself"

"I am not trying to take over" Colleen protested

"I know, But it is her home" Andrew reasoned "It's only right that she can do as she wishes, we are their guests"

Colleen folded her arms "This is my home too"

Andrew placed his hand on her arm "Not anymore, your home is an apartment overlooking Logan's square in Philadelphia, with me" he kissed her softly "your husband"

She sighed again "Am I being ..." she struggled to find the right word

"No" Andrew shook his head "You just have to adapt, this is your parent's home and now that we are married, we are guests" he gave her a smile "Now get some sleep, tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and it sounds like it should be a busy day" he turned and sank down into the mattress.

Colleen opened her mouth to say more, but as Andrew lowered his lamp she closed it, still troubled she lowered her lamp and sank down onto her back staring up at the ceiling with tear filled eyes.

* * *

"Cowween" Katie's happy voice greeted her as the young woman descended the stairs. Colleen turned in the direction of her young sister's voice. Her mother and sister were stood at the kitchen table baking, her sister stood on a chair, the paraphernalia associated with the task littered across the table.

"Good morning" Michaela greeted her daughter with a smile,

Colleen instantly relaxed at her mother's gentle tone. "Morning"

"Did you sleep well?" Michaela asked before giving a little cry of shock as Katie threw a handful of flour in the air "Katie" she chastised her youngest "We put the flour in the bowl"

Colleen laughed "well enough"

"It always takes me a day to get used to a different bed" Michaela caught Katie's hand as the little girl began reaching for the flour again. "We don't need any more flour sweetheart." She returned her attention back to Colleen "Did you want some breakfast? I saved you some" she nodded towards a covered plate "I'm afraid you've missed the boys, something about presents they needed to finish. Andrew went to the Chateau, I believe he was curious about his replacement"

Colleen sat down at the table "What's the new doctor like?"

"James" Michaela reached for a mixing spoon "He's charming, very talkative but an excellent physician" she handed the spoon to Katie "Now stir slowly" she helped her daughter stir the mixture.

Colleen watched her mother and sister in silence, slowly drawing patterns in the spilt flour with her finger.

"Cowween sad?" Katie's voice made her look up, her little sister had released control of the spoon to her mother and was stood staring at her with her little hands on her hips "Why sad Cowween? It's kismas"

"I'm not sad" Colleen told her, glancing up at her mother "honestly"

Michaela took a deep breath "If you want to cook your rec..."

"It's fine" Colleen interrupted

"I don't mind" Michaela tried to finish her sentence

"I said it was fine"

"Colleen" Michaela lifted Katie off the chair that the little girl was stood on and moved to sit beside her other daughter "Are you upset over last night?" she noted Colleen's discomfort "Please don't be, You surprised me, I didn't think that you would want to work after such a long trip. Besides I wanted to take care of you, mother you a bit"

Colleen sighed and reached out for her flour covered sister, pulling her onto her lap into a tight hug "I just, I don't know. I didn't figure on everything being different. I guess I thought I could come back and it would be the same as it always was, and I would do things I always did. I didn't figure on this not being my home anymore"

Michaela frowned "This is your home"

Colleen shook her head "But it's not Ma, is it? It's yours and Sully's home," she rested her chin gently on Katie's head "I married Andrew, I have a home with him now" she sighed "I love Philadelphia, I love school and I love being married"

"But" Michaela pressed her

"but nothing" Colleen shook her head and forced herself to smile "It's just tiredness talking" She turned Katie round so that she could see her face "Are you excited about tomorrow? Are you excited about Christmas?"

"Yup" Katie called happily

"Colleen" Michaela attempted to get her daughter to continue.

"You're going to love what Andrew and I have got you as a present" Colleen ignored her mother and kept her attention trained on Katie "and you're going to look so pretty and grown up in the dress we got for you"

"Colleen" Michaela repeated "please talk to me"

Colleen turned and looked at her mother "I'm fine Ma" she lowered Katie to the ground "I think I might like to take a walk. May I take Katie with me? It would allow you to complete your baking in peace"

"I don't want to bake in peace" Michaela scowled slightly, "I want my home filled with my children, and I would very much like to have my little girls" she emphasised the plural nature of the word and smiled, reaching to take Colleen's hand "to help me with my baking" She squeezed Colleen's hand tightly "Please will you help me?"

"I help" Katie called trying to climb onto her Mother's lap "I help." She succeeded in pulling herself up and wriggled, trying to get comfortable "Cowween cook"

Colleen broke into giggles at her little sister's unintentional wording, she rose from her seat, bending forward across the table and kissed Katie on the forehead, standing slightly straighter so that she held the same eye level as her ma "I'll help too"

* * *

Colleen set her little sister onto a patch of virgin snow and sighed, her breath coming from her mouth in clouds. The pies baking in the stove, Michaela had retreated to her bedroom to finish wrapping the last of her gifts, allowing her two girls to venture outside.

Katie gave a loud giggle and Colleen looked down to see her little sister handling the powdery snow, every so often throwing some in the air.

"Do you like the snow?" Colleen asked crouching down beside her

Katie nodded, throwing another handful in the air, before examining her sodden mittens. "Wet"

Colleen carefully removed her sister's woollen mittens and slid off her own leather gloves before pushing them onto her sister's tiny hands. Katie gave a giggle at the sudden appearance of having big hands. Standing upright Colleen tucked her own hands against her sides to protect them and watched as the small child continued in her play. Katie had grown so much in the time she had been away in Philadelphia, long gone was the mostly silent toddler, instead replaced by a chatty, cheeky beautiful child who was into everything. "Cowween" the child called for her attention "smoke" Katie exhaled, fascinated by the cloud of air coming out of her mouth.

"It's not smoke" Colleen explained "It's your breath, you can see it's because it's cold"

Katie giggled at her answer and turned back to playing with the snow. Colleen observed her for a few moments before looking out at the scenery, the view was beautiful, everything so pristine and white, not like Philadelphia, were the snow was turned to a grey slush by the hundreds of feet marching across it. She turned to look back at the homestead, the wood standing out warmly against the frigid scenery, plumes of smoke curling up from the chimneys, the house so inviting, homely, so different from the grey marble facia of the building which housed their second story, 3 roomed apartment. Andrew had chosen the property for location, overlooking Logan's square so she could watch the world go by when she studied, not that she had time to look out the window. They paid a small fortune for the rental, money she had insisted could be spent on a less well located property that would allow them to save for a house of their own. But Andrew had insisted it was about appearance, something which mattered to her husband as he tried to ingratiate himself with the other physicians in the city. It was true that she was always elegantly attired and they attended fancy parties and in Philadelphia she loved it, but now she was here, now she was home in Colorado Springs it all seemed a bit shallow.

"Cowween" her little sister broke into her thoughts "Mama wavin'"

Colleen looked up at her parents' bedroom window to see Michaela smiling out at them; she gave a half hearted wave before turning back to her sister.

"Cowween" Katie said looking at her curiously "Cold?"

"No I'm alright"

"Me too" Katie grinned and made to turn back to play with the snow.

"Katie" Colleen got on her knees, the snow soaking her dress "Can you say Colleen?"

Her little sister looked at her as if she was stupid "Cowween"

"No" Colleen shook her head "Not Co_ww_een, Co_ll_een. Koh leen" she sounded the pronunciation out for her sister "Koh"

"Koh" Katie repeated

"Leen"

"Leen"

"Colleen"

"Cowwleeen" Katie attempted

"Koh leen" Colleen tried again.

"Kohlween" Katie tried again.

Colleen gave a sigh of exasperation and made to get up from the snow. She was stopped by Katie's little hands grabbing her face. Katie looked seriously at her older sister "I sowwy" she kissed Colleen on the nose "I not tawlk wight"

"You're talking very well," Colleen returned her sister's kiss

Katie looked at her sadly "I not say Ko, colw, colwe colwe" the little girl sighed and gave up "Cowween"

"You'll get there" Colleen pulled herself out of the snow, brushing away the water from her woollen skirt "You're learning so much"

Katie looked at her thoughtfully for a few moments, she moved closer to her sister holding her hand up so she could reach her sister's hand. The two girls stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the still scenery. Katie finally interrupted the silence "Colween, I cold now"

Colleen smiled and picked her up "Me too" She hoisted Katie onto her hip "You know what warms me up" Katie shook her head "Warm milk and cuddles, would you like some?"

Katie grinned at the question "Yup"

"Good" Colleen tightened her grip "Because I've got lots of cuddles to give"

* * *

Sully stirred slightly at the sound of a soft thump filled the bedroom, he ignored it, keeping his eyes closed, relishing the feeling of his wife cocooned up against him, the feel of her warm breath against his bare chest, the gentle touch of her rounded belly against his tight flat stomach. Slowly he brought his hand down to stroke the swell of their baby, hoping that he might feel movement. He felt none. He opened his eyes to study her, her face smooth and relaxed in sleep, he raised his head to kiss her tenderly. His lips lingered on her forehead as he stared at his daughter, surprised to see his little girl stood beside their bed observing them with a large smile on her face.

"K, Katie" he managed to whisper, he glanced at her cot in the corner of the room and then back to her "How did you get out?"

"She can climb out" Michaela mumbled, her eyes fluttering open she turned her head to look at Katie "Good morning sweetheart"

"Mama" Katie leaned forward lowering her voice like she was telling a great secret, "It's kismas"

"and a Merry Christmas to you" Michaela smiled at her excited little one "Would you like to come in?" Katie pondered the question before nodding "Go see your Pa" Michaela directed, still snuggled in Sully's warm embrace. As Katie scampered round the perimeter of the bed Michaela looked at her husband and gave him a sleepy smile "Merry Christmas"

"I like kismas better" Sully whispered leaning his head down to give her a long kiss.

"Me in" Katie interrupted, tapping him on the back.

Michaela shuffled away from him, making space for their daughter between them, Sully turned and lifted Katie into the bed. The little girl snuggled in the warm space left by her mother and gave a contented sigh. Just as her parents began to drift off to sleep again Katie sat up and half climbed onto Sully. "Mewwy kismas Papa" she gave him a sloppy kiss.

Sully grinned at her "Merry Christmas" he gave her a gentle kiss as she began to slither off him.

Katie crawled across the space between her parents and very carefully approached her mother "Mewwy kismas Mama" she very softly kissed Michaela on the lips before retreating halfway down the bed to kneel reverently beside Michaela's belly. Tenderly the little girl lowered her head and kissed Michaela's shift covered stomach "Mewwy kismas baby"

"That's a real good idea Katie" Sully sat up and then imitated his daughter, softly kissing Michaela's belly. "Merry Christmas little one"

Michaela smiled widely at her family and lifted her hand to stroke first Katie's baby smooth cheek and then Sully's rough one "Next year we will have one more in the bed"

"Think I'll have room on my lap?" Sully grinned as he pulled Katie onto his lap, he tickled her under her chin and she gave a squeal of delight.

Michaela pulled herself into a seated position "I'll certainly have more room on mine" she ran her hand tenderly across the swell.

"Mama" Katie reached over to her to grab a lock of Michaela's long hair which she began twirling round her fingers "Bwian come in?"

Michaela shook her head "Brian is still asleep"

"But kismas" Katie looked surprised that anyone would still be asleep on this important day "pwesents"

Sully chuckled and bounced her on his knee "Don't get presents yet"

"Why?"

"You get your presents after church" he explained letting her slide off him so she could crawl across to her mother

"Mama when?" Katie fastened her arms around Michaela's neck.

"We go to Church at 10 in the morning" Michaela explained to her, holding her tightly and savouring the warmth of her little girl.

"When dat?" Katie asked, the little girl having no concept of time.

Sully looked over at the clock, "It's 10 past 6 Katie so we have to wait a little while"

Katie gave a dramatic sigh, after a moment's thought she slumped down on the mattress against her mother "I no like wait"

Sully curled his spine so his head was the same level as hers "Sometimes it's good to wait for things you want" he smiled at Katie's puzzled look "Like presents and snow" he looked up at Michaela with a twinkle in his eye "and babies"

"Sometimes you have to wait most of your life to get what you want" Michaela joined in, one hand holding her daughter, the other reaching to stroke Sully's face.

Sully chuckled as Katie's mouth dropped open as she contemplated her mother's words, her young mind trying to comprehend spending so much time without what she wanted. He cradled Michaela's hand in his and brought it down to his lips "but it's always worth the wait"

* * *

Colleen awoke as she felt a gently kiss on her forehead

"Merry Christmas Mrs Cook" Andrew whispered, lovingly kissing her for a second time.

"Mmm" Colleen stirred "I like how that sounds" she opened her eyes and smiled widely at her husband, his floppy hair sticking up at odd angles. "Come here" she pulled him down and returned his kiss, carefully smoothing his hair as she did.

Andrew beamed at her "I got you a present" he rose from the bed and retrieved a small box from beneath his neatly folded clothes "I want you to open it now"

Colleen accepted the small box and carefully undid the red ribbon that held the lid in place. She opened the box to reveal a beautiful silver locket. She rolled up into a seated position, her legs tucked beneath her, her eyes not wavering from the gift her husband had just given her "Andrew it's beautiful"

"Open it up" Andrew urged

Carefully Colleen undid the tiny clasp, inside the locket divided into three pieces, on one side there was a small photo of Andrew from the wedding day, and on the opening edge there was a photo of herself also from the wedding, the middle portion was empty. "They're empty" Colleen carefully moved the hinged middle portion as if by double checking photos would appear.

"We'll just have to fill them up" Andrew told her with a smile. His smile fell slightly "Of course not until you've finished medical school though and worked for a few years"

Colleen smiled as he babbled and leant forward kissing him to silence him, "I like the idea of filling it up, whenever it happens"

"But you want to be a doctor" Andrew protested

"And I will be" she looked back at the locket, admiring the picture of Andrew "but you also know these things happen when they happen, not when you plan. Unless you want be abstinent for at least the next six years" she laughed at Andrew's shocked expression she leant forward and kissed him again "I didn't think so" she sank back down and resumed studying to locket.

"You really like it?" Andrew asked her nervously. Colleen nodded happily "Good" he made to climb out of the bed, but Colleen tugged him back "What?"

"I don't believe I've wished you Merry Christmas yet, Mr Cook"

"No I don't believe you have" Andrew grinned and leant in to receive another kiss "Our first Christmas" he pulled Colleen into his arms "The first of many"

Their tender moment was interrupted by an insistent knocking on the door. "It's Kismas" Katie's excited voice sounded through the wood, followed by Michaela's hushed tone as she evidently pulled the little girl away from the door.

"I guess that's our cue" Andrew started to get up again.

"No wait" Colleen tightened her grip "Just a little bit longer" she nestled her head into the curve of his neck "You only get one first Christmas, I want our first first Christmas hug to last a bit longer"

* * *

Sully lowered a straining Katie to the ground and laughed as she ran to the tree which was now surrounded with gifts. The Church service had been one of the funniest he had ever been to thanks to his daughter, as Katie had loudly announced to her parents that the Reverend was talking too slowly. Thankfully Loren in an uncharacteristic move had had a pocket of candy canes that as he hadn't sold and due to the seasonal nature of the candy had brought to hand out. The sweet treat served its purpose and Katie had made a loud and sticky job of devouring it for the rest of the service. Now however there was nothing to stop her diving into the gifts and it appeared she was seconds away from doing so was it not for her oldest brother who had seized her and was trying to extricate her squirming arms from her coat. Finally Michaela entered the room, having needed to visit the privy on their arrival home. She had removed her cloak and hat and with it her hair pins so that her long hair cascaded down her back. To Sully, in her borrowed dress she looked for all the world like an angel, the only things breaking that illusion was her lack of wings. Sully held his hand out for her and kissed her softly

"I don't think we can contain her much longer" Michaela mused wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Katie, if you sit in a chair you can open presents" she called to her daughter.

Katie's eyes widened and she scampered to one of the wing back chairs and hauled herself into it. The little girl pushed herself as far back as she could go, her little feet just poking past the edge of the seat. Michaela stifled a laugh and leant over the chair, kissing the top of Katie's head "Brian would you do the honours. May I suggest you start with one for Katie" Michaela crossed to sit in the other white chair and watched as her son reached under the tree and pulled out a box that bore Katie's name. He handed it to Katie, whose eyes bulged with excitement at the size of the box. Her little fingers began trying to undo the ribbon but lacked the dexterity. Sully crouched beside her and helped her untangle the fabric strip. The lid removed and Katie gave a squeal of delight. Sully helped her lift the miniature version of a pram out of the box. "Is that from Mother?" Michaela surmised studying the gift.

"Rebecca" Sully read the note card that came with it.

Katie tried to get down from the chair but Sully held her in place with his large hand "I pway Papa" Katie insisted, squirming to get out of his grip.

"You got ta wait Katie" he told her settling her back into the chair "We got more ta open" he tickled her slightly "But we got to let other's have a turn now"

Katie pouted slightly but then nodded her head. "Mama pwesent"

"Right" Sully nodded in agreement, "Brian could ya give ya Ma that one at the back, with the green ribbon on"

Brian complied and handed Michaela the box. Katie watched, her excitement rising as Michaela undid the ribbon. Michaela opened the box and a large smile formed on her face. Inside was a piece of wood which was stamped in red paint with a set of hand and foot prints. Beneath the prints Sully had neatly carved Katie Dec. 73.

"Me Mama" Katie excitedly told her, pointing at her chest.

"It's lovely, thank you sweetheart" she smiled and stared down at the wood marvelling at the size of her daughter's small hands.

Sully swivelled and gave her a kiss "I'll get it put up in our room"

"Thank you" Michaela kissed her husband, thanking the true gift giver.

The room erupted with noise as Brian began handing out more presents. First the batch of gifts from he and Matthew, gloves for Andrew, a fine writing set for Colleen so she could write home, for Katie hand carved furniture to go in her dollhouse, for Sully a silver chain which he accepted with bemusement, for Michaela a beautiful shawl.

The second set of gifts from Elizabeth, money for the boys including Andrew accompanied with a gift of a smart neck tie, a gold hat pin for Colleen, Sully an elegant waistcoat, Michaela an expensive perfume from Paris and Katie, a soft doll with shiny blonde hair to go in the pram that her aunt had given her. Excited by the gift Katie slid from the chair to play with the doll leaving her parents to open the rest of her presents.

Finally all that remained were the two gifts for Sully and Michaela from each other and a box for Katie from Michaela. Sensing their parents need to be alone, the children moved away. Sully reached beneath the tree and brought out his gift, a small red jewellery box. Kneeling before her he presented it to his wife with a smile. Michaela carefully opened the box and let out a soft gasp, inside was a ring, a gold band built up to house a series of 5 black gemstones, the band was curved so that it would fit tightly next to her engagement ring. "Found these when I went surveying, onyx," Sully explained as he removed the ring from the box and slid it on her ring finger. "Jeweller called it an eternity ring, Symbol of my love for ya,"

"It's...it's" Michaela stammered unable to find the right words.

Sully silenced her with a kiss. "Ya welcome" he smiled as she stared opened mouthed at his gift. "May I?" he nodded towards the gift that had his name on. She nodded wordlessly. He retrieved the gift and tore the box open, immediately he understood the boys' gift of a silver chain. Inside the box nestled on blue velvet was a pocket watch, the watch while made from silver had been inlaid with black leather, which was embossed with a series of dots to form a pattern, Sully realised that it matched the pattern that Cloud Dancing had marked on his chest. "Michaela" Sully whispered cradling the object in his broad fingers.

"It's a compass also" Michaela found her voice and helped him to open the back cover to reveal its dual functionality "For when you are surveying places new, so you can always find your way back home"

"Its..." Sully muttered stunned.

"You're welcome" Michaela kissed him gently.

Sully carefully attached the watch to the chain and turned so that Michaela could join the ends of the chain behind his neck. The fob fell level with his beads, a warm and comforting weight against his chest. The pair of them gave contented sighs as they studied their gifts, finally Sully looked up and nodded towards the tree "What's that?" Michaela smiled and inclined her head, asking him silently to bring it to her. He did so and set it on her lap "Should I get Katie?" he glanced over his shoulder to where Katie sat cradling her new doll. She shook her head and wordlessly undid the pink ribbon that held the lid on the box. Sully opened the rest of the box and smiled as he saw what was inside, he pulled the quilt out of the box, it was bright and colourful, made from fabric patches that Michaela had embroidered and appliquéd, it was big too, big enough to cover a bed. He smiled "Is that a hint?"

Michaela gave a tinkling laugh and ran her hand across the fabric "She can't stay in our room for much longer" she glanced down "We'll need the cot"

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, signalling the arrival of their guests. Sully rested the quilt on her lap and rose easily from his crouched position. Crossing to the door he opened it to be greeted by Cloud Dancing and Dorothy toting another batch of gifts.

* * *

The vast meal eaten, the family sat glutted in front of the fire, as the night began to close in Michaela reached for her worn copy of A Christmas Carol and handed it to Brian for her son to start the reading. The book was passed with each chapter to the next family member, first Colleen, then Matthew. Midway through the fourth chapter Sully paused and looked up at Andrew who was sat in the chair behind Colleen and had been silently observing the family ritual.

Sully returned his gaze to the book "The Phantom spread..." He paused and turned his eyes back onto Andrew "Andrew would you like a turn?"

The young man bristled with happiness at being included and he moved his chair forward so that he was included in the circle "Thank you Sully"

Sully handed over the book "Just the rest of this chapter,"

"Yeah" Brian interjected "Gotta leave the last one for Ma, it's her favourite part"

Andrew nodded in understanding finding the place on the page at which Sully had stopped; he began to read with eager delight "The Phantom spread its dark robe before him for a moment..."

* * *

Just as it was before Christmas the station was bustling, as all those who had come to stay in Colorado Springs began to leave and all those who had been away visiting returned home.

Michaela clung to Colleen and Matthew simultaneously, desperately trying to stop her tears from flowing down her cheeks. Colleen was the first to break away gently coerced from her Mother's grip by Andrew to ensure they got a seat on what would be a packed train. The trio would be taking the same train to Denver and then again together onto Omaha before going their separate ways.

Matthew not minding if he got a seat hung back, sensing Michaela's need to hold onto her children for as long as possible. "I'll wire you as soon as I get to Cincinnati" he stated trying to provide her some comfort from what was obviously causing her great pain.

"Are you sure you have everything you need" Michaela fussed "Do you have enough money?"

"I'm fine Ma, I have everything I need for the trip and when I get there the Borer's have sorted out a place for me to stay"

Michaela nodded her head repeatedly, trying to convince herself that he was in fact fine "You know that you can..."

Matthew gripped her as tightly as he dared "I know" the train blew its whistle, signalling it's imminent departure and Matthew forced himself out of her reach, he paused and turned back giving her a gentle kiss "Ya better have a place set for me in June. Wild horses remember" he cast a look sideways and nodded to Sully indicating that this was his last moment. Sully stepped in and protectively encircled Michaela with his arms. Seeing that she was taken care of Matthew turned and ran for the carriage, pulling himself onboard as the train began to move. He stood on the outside of the carriage waving as the train pulled away, watching as Michaela sagged against Sully, watching as the town that he had been born and raised in began to recede into the distance, until finally numb with cold he moved inside to face his new future.

* * *

Sully opened his eyes as he felt the emptiness of the bed. He craned his neck up to see Michaela stood at the window rocking gently from side to side, peering out into the dark. He rose and crossed the room to join her "Michaela?" he whispered gently, stepping in behind her.

She leant back against him, her small frame draped against him for support. "Do you think they'll be alright?"

"They'll be fine" Sully assured her with a kiss to the temple.

She sighed "Our son, a lawyer,"

"Our Daughter a doctor"

"What about Brian?" her voice sounded wistful

"I reckon he'll be a writer" Sully told her kissing her again. "For a newspaper, maybe he'll take over the gazette"

She nodded silently "What about Katie?" she glanced towards the cot that contained their sleeping daughter.

Sully smiled, "I think she's got it in her to be an actress"

"An actress!" she jerked her head round to look at him with surprise

"She's dramatic enough fo' it" Sully laughed slightly, he noted her silence "What about this one?" he lowered his hand to the baby.

"I think he'll be..." she stopped at Sully's soft laughter. "What?"

"You done it again" he kissed her "called it a boy"

"Oh" she looked down.

Sully stepped round to her front "Reckon if it's a girl she's gonna get a bit o' a complex" he made light circling motions with his hand as he stroked her belly gently "Why do ya think it's a ..." he froze as he felt it, a slight nudge against his hand, "Did ya feel that?" he asked in wonder, dropping to his knees to observe her belly.

Michaela laughed slightly at his question "Yes I felt it" she ran her hand through his curly hair. The baby moved again and Sully's blue eyes widened with childlike awe as he felt their baby push against her skin from the inside. The clock downstairs rang out to signify the change of one day to the next. "Do you know what today is?" Michaela asked gently

Sully looked up at her confused "Tuesdee"

She stroked his hair "It's the day that Grace and Robert E's baby is due"

"You think it will be born today?"

Michaela shook her head "No, she's got a few days yet" she sighed

"Won't be long 'fore our baby's here too" he pulled himself to a standing position and embraced her, holding her tightly next to him "Time'll go real fast and then we'll be holding it"

"The time will go fast for you" she gave him a wry smile

"Right I remember, this lasts 10 years" he brushed his lips against the top of her head "but remember the good things are worth waitin for"

She nodded silently, swaying her hips from side to side as she worked out a niggling ache, her body was exhausted except her mind, which was racing with thoughts of her children but for now in the safe arms of her husband the bad thoughts seemed to ebb away, leaving only the ones of hope for the future.


	7. The longest wait

Gladeveryone enjoyed the Crimbo chapter, thought a little bit of fluffyness would do you all good, Thanks for reading let me knpw what you think

Kate

x

The longest wait

A bitter chill descended on Colorado Springs as the year 1874 dawned. The temperature dipped far below the normal cold, reaching for the temperatures of the negative high teens on the centigrade scale. The weather was playing havoc, the normally quick melting snow froze and became glass like, the water began to freeze in the pump and the train ground to a halt as it became too dangerous for the locomotive to travel across the brittle rails. Activity in the open air dwindled, as folk stayed in and those who ventured outside took the risk of frostbite or injury from fall.

* * *

Grace gave a small grunt of discomfort as Michaela concluded her examination. Michaela lowered the sheet "All done" she moved to wash her hands. Michaela had finally managed to get over to Grace and Robert E's to check on her friend, it had taken her all day to get over to their home as she had treated no less than three broken wrists and a broken leg. She was exhausted from the effort it took to reset the bones. Thankfully Sully was due any minute to take her home but she had promised the worried blacksmith that she would check on Grace before she left.

"And?" Grace asked hopefully, straining against her 3 day overdue belly to right herself under her own power before relenting and using her arms to prop herself up.

Michaela smiled warmly, drying her hands in a cloth as Robert E moved to sit beside Grace. "Everything is as it should be; it could happen at any time"

Grace sighed heavily, she had been waiting and worrying for the past two weeks now, convinced every little twinge or discomfort she had was the onset of labour but nothing came to fruition and the baby remained firmly put.

Robert E sat down on the bed and took his wife's hand squeezing it to provide her some comfort "Baby probably doesn't want to come out in this cold, right Dr Mike?"

Michaela nodded "Babies have their own time schedules Grace, first babies are often late"

Grace rested her head back against the bed frame with defeat "Isn't there anythin I can do?"

"Well physical activity has been known to induce labour, it certainly did with Katie" Michaela smiled to herself, "Though I would certainly not recommend trekking in the woods to any heavily pregnant woman, and I'm afraid in this weather, even a gentle stroll around town is out of the question."

"She should stay in best and rest" Robert E told his wife pointedly.

Michaela shook her head "Not necessarily," she patted Robert E on the back "Pregnancy is not an illness" she returned her attention to Grace "Robert E is right that you should get plenty of rest, you'll certainly need it for the delivery but there is nothing to stop you moving about and doing some of your everyday chores, as long as you take it easy" she turned her head as she heard a knock at the door "That will be Sully"

Robert E rose to attend to the front door leaving Michaela to finish tidying up.

"Sully's waiting downstairs for ya" Robert E told her as he reentered the room

Michaela collected her bag "Now I won't be in town tomorrow, and if this cold snap continues I doubt we shall ride in for Church on Sunday, if you experience any contractions send someone to the homestead to get me." She nodded goodbye to the nervous pair as she left the room.

* * *

Sully stood waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, his normally tanned skin flushed pink against the cold. He greeted her with a smile "Ready ta go home"

"Yes" she nodded, exhaustion beginning to get the better of her, she moved to open the door but Sully pulled her back, she didn't protest or query him.

He gave her a concerned look "Need to button up" Quickly he began to button the two sides of her duster. Michaela stood still her arms lowered to one side, childlike, letting him take care of her. Her eyes were fixed on him, watching him work in silence. She had been like this since Colleen and Matthew had left at the start of the week. To the outside world she was her normal self but alone in his presence her facade went down and she retreated into herself, lost in quiet thought.

"Not so roomy anymore huh?" Sully pulled on the centre of her coat trying to get a reaction from her; she gave him a weak smile. Sully sighed, the melancholy she had been suffering with before Christmas was back with vengeance and worse he didn't know how to help her, he knew he needed to get her to talk but beyond the conversation they had had on the night the children had left she had been uncharacteristically quiet. She should be resting, but she had insisted she come to work, even though the roads were so treacherous. At least she was eating although the amount she was eating concerned him, normally when she was upset she would just pick at her food, since Christmas her plates had been overburdened. The baby already appeared to be growing so quickly, taking over her abdomen and stretching it out in front of her more and more each day, he knew she had been big with Katie, and it had worried her, and he could see she was heading the same way with this baby if not more so. He didn't want her to be fretting over what she looked like or the size of the baby as well as trying to deal with her feelings of loss.

Sully opened the door and allowed her to walk through before stepping forward and placing protective secure arms around her just in case she felt she was losing her balance on the slippery ground. She gripped him tightly, picking her way carefully across the street, and he could tell she was terrified that she would fall; her centre of gravity was shifting because of the baby, her balance slightly off, he could see it every time she stood up, the way she had to pause before she moved. They reached the wagon and he helped her climb in "One second" he told her moving into the building.

Michaela sat alone on the wagon. The street was empty even the saloon seemed quiet. Michaela sighed it felt good to be cold; she was so warm these days, the baby acting as a little furnace within her, but the pleasant feeling of cold was rapidly turning to an unpleasant one, and she was glad that Sully had done her coat up for her. He returned after a minute and she turned her head stiffly to look at him. He was carrying a few items in his hands, a flask and a blanket

"Here" he held out a large blanket, not made from fabric but from skin, buffalo skin.

Michaela took it, it felt warm and she realised he had been warming it in front of the clinic stove while she had been at Grace's. "Thank you" she whispered.

Sully pulled himself into the wagon "I made you some tea as well" he handed her the flask, she took it, clasping her gloved hands around it to steal some of the warmth. He spread the skin across their legs and prepared to flick the reins to get the blanketed Bear to start moving. As he raised his arm she leant in, pressing herself against him. Sully smiled and adjusted his position so that she would be more comfortable against him, it was a relief to him, that even though she wasn't talking much she still needed him, still felt the need to curl into him as she slept or as they rode in the wagon. It meant she was still there, still within reach, just trapped under layer of hurt that she needed to climb through.

* * *

Robert E looked up as heard his wife move about upstairs, he frowned, he was cooking for her, getting a tray ready to take up to her, because regardless what Dr Mike said he thought she should stay in bed, it was warmer for her, and when she was in bed she wasn't using any of the little energy she had left. He put the pan to one side and rushed from the living area and up the steps to the bedroom. As he entered his face dropped, Grace was stood in the corner of the room, reaching above her head. "Grace what you doing?"

"There's a spider" Grace explained

"Well let me get it" Robert E moved forward

"It's alright, I got it" Grace turned, her hands cupped before her "Go put it outside"

Robert E looked at her in surprise "Why you botherin with spiders?"

"I don't want them in with the baby"

"Grace there's spider's everywhere" he reasoned, finally holding out his hand so that he could accept the tiny arachnid from her.

"I know" Grace shivered more from disgust then the temperature "This place is so dirty"

"It ain't dirty" Robert E looked around the room, while it wasn't as tidy as she would probably like it wasn't as bad as she made out.

"Look at this mess" Grace indicated a pile of washing that he had not yet had a chance to get put away. Robert E had to admit that this pregnancy had highlighted how much his wife did for him, and she did it quickly and without him even noticing most of the time. With the baby she had been so tired from working in the cafe that he had tried to take over some of the chores but everything took him twice as long and he did it half as well.

He gave a frustrated sigh and picked up the pile she was pointing at "Grace go lay down, I'll get the washing put away then I'll bring ya somethin to eat" he turned and began to hastily put the washing away in the cupboard.

"That ain't where it goes" Grace pointed "Now you leave it ta me" she yanked the rest of the clothes from his hand.

"Grace ya need to get your proper rest now, you heard Dr Mike, she said the baby could come at any time" Robert E gave a sigh of exasperation.

"She also said I could do as much as I felt able ta do" Grace retorted "All I'm doin is putting washing away" she looked up at him innocently.

Robert E rubbed his calloused hand across his forehead with frustration, it was times like this he hated having such an independent wife. He wished he could force her to bed but with Grace there was no way that was happening. Defeated he retreated back to the kitchen to complete her meal, just hoping that he could get her to eat something.

* * *

Sully stirred, once again Michaela's side of the bed was empty, he sat up hoping to see her sat in the rocking chair or by the window. He was alone except for Katie who was nestled in her cot covered in blankets with the quilt Michaela had made for her draped over the top of the cot like a tent to keep her safe and warm underneath. He rose and checked her daughter, peeling back the quilt to ensure she was alright, she was peacefully asleep, a small smile on her face, her fingers flexing as she wandered her way through a dream. Sully couldn't help but smile as he replaced the quilt. Knowing that Katie was fine Sully pulled the bedspread from the bed and brought it tightly around his body. It was cold in the room, very cold, despite the fire and the fact that he had shuttered the window, the bitter weather was biting through the wood of the house, he was glad he had worn socks to bed as the wood planks beneath his feet felt as cold as stone. Slowly he made his way down the passageway, he stuck his head in to check on Brian, in the gloom making out his scrunched up form in the bed, buried beneath a pile of fabric. He turned to make his way downstairs, but his foot snagged the draught excluder that he had placed by Colleen's door to help keep the chill out, he was surprised to see a chink of light shine from under the door. Carefully he turned the handle and pushed open the door. The room was freezing, the shutters on the room window were broken and with Colleen gone it hadn't been a priority to fix them, so the thin glass window had let what little heat there was be sucked from the room by the piercing cold. The room appeared empty; he stared at the lamp, the flame low, casting only the smallest circle of light,

"Michaela" he called into the dark.

A quiet sob answered him, Sully moved fast hunting down the noise like wolf hunts its prey. He found her sat hunched on the floor between the cupboard and the wall, her robe was open and he could see the effect the cold was having on her, the skin not covered by her shift was pale, almost grey. Without waiting for her to speak or trying to coax her to speak, Sully lunged forward pulling her into his arms, he shivered, she felt like ice. He rose to his feet and half ran back to their bedroom with her in his arms. When he entered their room he set her before the fire and threw the bedspread around her, rubbing her arms up and down to try and put some warmth into them. Suddenly she opened her eyes up to look at him, until that point they had been closed, squeezed closed. Wordlessly she opened her arms, lifting the sides of the bedspread open indicating for him to come in with her. Sully took the hint pulling the fabric around him, tucking as much of his body as he could around her so she could take his warmth.

"I'm not cold" she whispered after a minute "the baby makes me hot"

Sully was surprised by her words, firstly as he hadn't expected her to speak and secondly beside his warm body she felt frozen "Do ya want me ta stop holding you?" he asked her tentatively.

She shook her head, her eyes were cast down, unfocussed, staring down into the blackness created between their two bodies beneath the bedspread. "Michaela?"

"I'm sorry" she whispered, her voice was dull and so so quiet.

"Nothing to be sorry for" Sully bent forward to kiss her but she didn't react, didn't lean forward to accept it, or turn the corners of her mouth up, nothing, she was impassive, stone like, a statue.

"Don't leave me" her voice stabbed at him, her voice so desolate, so folorn.

"I'll never leave ya" he hugged her as best he could "I can quit my job, I can stay with ya, I don't have to go surveying anymore" she shook her head "Ya don't mind me doin' that?" she shook her head again "I always come back, just like the kids will com..." he stopped as she burst into tears "It's alright" he soothed holding her tightly. Her body shook in his arms the force of her tears taking all her energy.

Eventually the motions quietened to a shudder and then she was still. Sully kept his grip around her, her breathing had dropped into a soft slow pattern and he wondered if she had fallen asleep. He felt sleep begin to take hold of him again and he let his eyes droop. Her voice startled him awake.

"I'm pregnant"

Sully couldn't help but smile, the way she had said the words sounded so much like she was telling him for the first time. "Little bit hard to miss" he found her belly with his hand and affectionately stroked it.

She moved, one of her elbows cracking loudly as she brought apart her arms. The bedspread fell to the ground and she looked down at her bulging middle "I think" she started before stopping herself. Her eyes watched his hand for a moment, watching him trace the shape of her belly in languorous movements as he caressed their baby. "I don't want to hurt the baby".

Sully frowned "you ain't hurtin' the baby" he stopped his tender movements on her belly, moving his hands to hold her shoulders. "Ya takin' care of it, growin it, keepin it safe"

"I" she paused again "how I feel," she sighed frustrated with herself for not making sense "I don't want to hurt the baby because of how I feel" she clarified.

"How do you feel?" Sully pressed her, taking his chance

She was silent for a long time "Sad"

"Sad" Sully repeated, it was such a childish answer, plain and simple, no explanation, just sad. "Why are ya feelin' sad?" Sully questioned her gently, speaking to her as if she was Katie. She couldn't answer "Do ya feel sad because the kids have gone?" she nodded slightly "Because you miss them" she nodded again "because..."

"I can't hear their voices" she whispered. Sully watched her, watching as a dam within her broke and everything came flooding out of her "I never thought I'd be a mother, I was terrified and angry when Charlotte died, I didn't know what to do, they were frightened and scared and Matthew hated me and I was clueless. When Brian asked me if he could call me Ma it was one of the happiest days of my life, then Colleen started calling me Ma to, I had a family, my children. It doesn't matter that I haven't given birth to them, I love them, in a way so different from Katie. With Katie it's natural I have to love her I have no choice, with the children, it's different, I chose to love them so completely, they aren't a part of me, I didn't make them but I feel like I did. I feel like those first difficult months were like when I was carrying Katie so terrified of doing something wrong and Brian asking me to call me Ma was like their birth, the moment they became truly mine. And now their mine I don't want to let them go. I don't want to not be with them. I can look at their photos and I can hold things that were theirs, I've got memories and mementos but I haven't got them, I can't hug a photo I can't hear them speak, I can send them a wire or a letter but it's not the same." She exhaled, her body sagging, almost as if the air in her lungs had been holding her upright. Silence hung in the air; it stung almost as much as the cold. Finally she spoke "Sully, I think I'd like to go to bed now"

Wordlessly Sully rose to his feet, she held her arms out, her thin limbs hanging limply as if she lacked the energy to hold them up. Sully ignored her outstretched arms instead sliding his arms underneath her body so he could carry her. He moved the few steps to the bed and lowered her down onto the mattress. He slid in alongside her, taking her normal place on the right of the mattress, his hand never once leaving her shoulder. Now in bed he positioned himself against her, his hard solid angular body supporting her soft curved one, so fragile in his arms. He raised his head to kiss her but stopped himself, she was already asleep, her body so completely exhausted. He sighed and carefully positioned the blankets and bedspread making sure she had enough before he worried about his own warmth. Finally situated he rested his head next to hers, sharing a pillow, silent tears running down his face as he held her, as he clung to his Michaela, his beautiful, fragile, lost Michaela.

* * *

Grace gingerly moved, the weekend had passed with no contractions, nothing, just the ever present wriggling lump that refused to do as it was supposed to and begin labour so she could hold her baby, the baby she so desperately craved.

Frustrated she moved to where Robert E had messily set his boots to warm in front of the stove. She bent over to straighten them, as she did she gasped, a pain ripping through her abdomen. Her muscles tightening. A feeling of pressure deep in her pelvis. The pain subsided and she straightened up a smile forming on her tired face "ROBERT E"

* * *

Michaela lowered Grace's blouse for the third time that day and sighed "No more?"

Grace shook her head despondently, Michaela patted her hand comfortingly "Well it does look as though this little one has changed its mind about making an entrance" she removed her stethoscope from around her neck and clasped it within her hands. "Perhaps it didn't want to come out in all this rain" she smiled kindly and glanced out the window of the recovery room. The bitter dry cold of the last few days had been forced away as a thick blanket of warming grey cloud had rolled in over Pikes Peak, a cloud which had turned blacker and blacker until it began dropping its contents on the beleaguered town. Michaela observed the sheets of driving rain that were pouring from the sky with distaste, the frozen ground was being churned to a soup of thick mud by the bullet like rain drops, compounded by the townsfolk movements as they tried to get on with their lives now they were in no danger of freezing.

"What now?" Grace miserably asked forcing Michaela to turn away from the window.

"I would suggest you go home, try and have a nice meal, and try and get some rest" Michaela sighed, looking up at the sound of a faint knock on the recovery room door.

Slowly Robert E poked his head round the door "Any news"

"No" Grace moaned shifting uncomfortably on her back "This baby o' yours don't want to come out"

Robert E smiled and tentatively approached his wife "that's cause you made a nice home for it" he looked up at the lady doctor with concern "really nothing?"

"Grace is no more dilated then she was on Friday and has had no further contractions since this morning" Michaela smiled at him "The baby will come, just not today"

Robert E removed his hat nervously twisting the damp fabric in his work worn hands "She's getting real uncomfortable Dr Mike, are yer sure there is nothing you can do for her"

Michaela sighed "I'll give you some more of the tea, other than that all I can recommend is a nice warm bath and bed" she rested her hand on Robert E's shoulder "Maybe a massage"

Robert E nodded silently and began helping Grace sit up. Michaela turned to look back out at the rain, the blacksmith watched her with mild concern, she seemed distant, almost like she wasn't really in the room, it worried him especially with Grace about to have the baby, "You alright Dr Mike?"

Michaela turned and nodded her head; she noticed the look on Robert E's face and forced herself to smile "Oh I'm fine, just a bit tired" she moved to go downstairs, "I'll get that tea prepared for you"

Grace watched her husband watch the Doctor and smiled "Don't go frettin" she ran her hand across his balding head "she's pregnant and tired an mor' than likely missin' her children" tenderly she kissed her worried husband "But you know Dr Mike, when we need her she'll be here"

* * *

"Mama?"

Michaela looked towards her daughter; Katie was sat in the corner of the clinic playing with her blocks and new doll.

"Yes sweetheart"

"Tummy huwt" the little girl muttered as she rose from her play.

"Your tummy hurts" Michaela deciphered

Katie shook her head "No, Mama" she pointed at Michaela

"Me" Michaela looked at her daughter surprised "No my tummy doesn't hurt, Why?"

"wub" Katie imitated the action that Michaela had been doing subconsciously for the past week or so.

Michaela smiled, she moved to the cot, holding her hand out for her little girl to join her, she thought about her answer for a few moments, about how best to explain it to Katie "My tummy is itchy," she lowered herself onto the cot and rested her hand on her stomach "because it's growing" she added with a disheartened sigh

"Itsy" Katie muttered joining her on the cot "I gwowing, I not itsy"

Michaela laughed slightly "It's a special kind of growing, because of the baby"

"not huwt?" Katie sought reassurance

"No it doesn't hurt" Michaela repeated stroking Katie's arm "I just feel a bit" Michaela exhaled slowly, trying to figure out how to explain the particular delights and discomforts of pregnancy to her two and a half year old daughter "It's strange but lovely"

"Why stwange?" Katie asked her curious expression deepening.

"Well it's strange because, um" Michaela paused struggling to find words which Katie would understand "I'm carrying a baby inside me and the baby moves..."

Katie's eyes widened "Baby moves"

Michaela smiled at Katie and reached for her little girl's hand, pressing it again her belly where she was feeling movement "Do you feel that?" Katie thought about it but shook her head, Michaela sighed "Well there will be plenty of time to feel it before the baby is born"

"When born?"

"You know when your birthday is" Katie nodded a huge smile on her face at the thought of her birthday, Michaela ran her finger down the side of Katie's cheek "The baby will be born a few weeks after that"

Katie accepted her answer and moved away, midway to her toys the little girl turned back towards her mother, clearly pondering something, she stared at her mother, suddenly her eyes went wide and she raced back to Michaela "Mama," he voice was tinged with concern "'oo be hooooge"

Michaela blushed "Yes sweetheart I fear I shall"

Katie patted her knee comfortingly "No wowwy Mama, me love you" she took a step back "Me love you even if dis big" she extended her little arms as wide as she could.

Michaela shook her head with a laugh. She turned her head as the clinic door opened

"What ya doing Katie?" Sully asked bemused as he walked into the clinic

"tell Mama love her, even if dis big" Katie reiterated, repeating her comical stance for her father's benefit,

Sully grinned "That's pretty big Katie" he moved to the cot and sat beside Michaela, he gently kissed his wife on the temple, pleased to see her smiling "don't think your Ma will get that big"

"Papa" Katie moved forward and rested her hands on his knees "Mama be hooge" she withdrew her hand from his buckskin trousers "wet papa"

"That's cause it's rainin" Sully chuckled slightly "Why don't ya get ya toys ready so we can take your Ma home" Katie scampered away, he looked sideways at Michaela "Why she think?"

"She was asking when the baby was due" she leant into him, "In her eyes I've only been pregnant for a little over 6 weeks and look how much I've gr..."

Sully silenced her with a kiss "Baby's havin a growth spurt" he hugged her tightly, frightened if he let her go she would slip back into the mood she had been experiencing the past week "You have a good day?"

"Grace was in" Michaela yawned slightly "she was having contractions but they stopped"

"Do you think she'll have it t'night?" Sully asked with concern, Michaela shrugged her shoulders slightly "Did ya want to stay here t'night?"

"No" she sat upright "I want to go home, there are enough people who can come and get me if I'm needed" she sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly "Does that sound dreadful?"

"Nope" Sully kissed her to reassure her "sounds like a tired pregnant lady who wants a nap in her own bed"

Michaela sighed in relief "That sounds lovely"

"Come on" Sully rose and helped her to her feet, she smiled at him in thanks "I borrowed Loren's buggy, don't what ya getting wet" he handed her her coat before turning to Katie who was carefully wrapping her doll in a blanket "You gettin Flo all bundled up?" Katie nodded , Sully grinned "Yer doin a good job"

"Tanks" Katie called cheerfully as she wrapped the large blanket around the small doll again.

Sully turned and noticed the peculiar expression on Michaela face a mixture of surprise, annoyance and distress "Michaela?" he took a step towards her

"Flo?" she whispered staring at Katie mournfully

"Yeah" Sully reached for her "That's what she called her doll, named it after Dorothy's horse"

"I didn't realise" she sounded distraught, mortified that she had missed something so important to Katie

Sully put his arm around her "s'lright," He opened his mouth to tell her that it wouldn't matter to Katie but changed his mind. Instead he called out to their daughter "come on Katie girl, we need to get ya Ma to bed, she's real tired"

Sully moved to the door and held it open for his two girls; Katie scampered to the door but froze in the doorway. "Papa dat not wain" her eyes were wide as she stared out at the heavy rain that was pouring from the sky in sheets.

"Sure is Katie" Sully bent down and lifted his startled daughter into his arms "There's just lots of it. Now let's see if we can get ya home without getting you or ya Ma too wet"

* * *

"Michaela" the word broke into her sleep and she awoke with a start. Sully was knelt beside the bed a worried look on his face, a look he had worn too often this week. Michaela yawned and made to sit up, pausing as she felt a little light headed. She managed to right herself, her stomach grumbled and she realised she was hungry.

"Sully" she greeted him "What time is it?"

"It's a little after nine," he smiled sweetly at her. Michaela looked at him with surprise "You were real tired, so I thought I'd let ya sleep"

"That would explain my" she paused as her stomach grumbled loudly "that" she looked up at him "Is that why you woke me?"

Sully shook his head "Loren is here"

"Loren?"

Sully gently stroked her arm "he says he'll stay with the kids t'night, bring them in in the morning. Grace's water broke"

Michaela moved suddenly, rapidly climbing from the bed, her doctoring mind snapping into action and pushing away her feeling of discomfort "Did he say if she was having contractions?"

Sully shook his head to indicate he didn't know

"Where are my boots?" Michaela looked around the room; she turned as she felt Sully gently tug at her elbow. He guided her to sit back on the bed. "Sully I need to..." she stopped as he pulled her boots from beneath the bed "Oh,"

"Now" Sully pushed the first boot on "I got you some biscuits and cheese an' some fruit, figured you and baby would need some food." He tied her lace and moved to the second boot "You can eat it on the way in ta town" he looked up as Michaela gently touched his cheek "You alright?"

"Thank you Sully" she leaned in to kiss him "thank you for taking such good care of me"

Sully beamed, his face feeling as though it couldn't stretch wide enough to accommodate how happy he felt, it was the first time in a week that he felt her words of thanks were sincere and not automatic "'s no problem" he finished tying her lace, leaning up he kissed her sweetly "Let's get you into town Dr Mike"

* * *

Grace slumped back onto the table as her contraction passed; she stared up Michaela with tired eyes.

"You're doing fine Grace" Michaela soothed, brushing her hand comfortingly across Grace's forehead. "You just need to remember to keep breathing"

"How much...longer?" Grace panted, she had been weathering these pains for hours, they were getting more and more intense, closer and closer together and the pressure was getting worse and worse, her back felt as if it was about to snap.

"Now Grace" Dorothy approached the table with cup of water "babies take their time, with my first I was in labour for 28 hours"

"28!" Grace eyes widened at the thought of being in the agony she was experiencing for that long.

"Dorothy" Michaela frowned "It won't take that long, an hour maybe two" Michaela told Grace gently.

Grace moaned "An hour" she pushed her head back against the pillow "I'll hold ya ta that" she lifted her head again "Is the baby Ok" she looked at her stomach, wondering if the baby was feeling any of the pain she was.

Michaela lowered the bell of her stethoscope to Grace's abdomen, after several moments of listening she removed the ear pieces "Everything is fine," she noticed Grace begin to tense and held her hand out for Grace to grip hold of as she weathered the pain "Breathe Grace breathe" she soothed as the woman writhed on the table "Just a little bit longer, breathe"

* * *

Robert E looked up alarmed at the sound of his wife screaming filtered through the closed doorway "What's taking so long?" he removed his hat, twisted it in his hand before placing it back on his head. After a second he removed his hat again and swung his arms.

Sully smiled at his friend nervousness "These things take time Robert E"

"It's been hours" Robert E fretted "I knew I shoulda got Dr Mike when the pains started"

"And we would still have been sat out here" Sully soothed him "Dr Mike being here don't make things go faster"

"Maybe I should go in and help" Robert E put his hat back on

Sully shook his head "Nah, you wouldn't like it"

"Why is it bad?" Robert E turned nervously

"It ain't pretty" Sully muttered "But that ain't it, it's seein Grace in pain, nothing worse than seein the woman you love in pain, knowin' there ain't nothing ya can do ta help. Seein an hearing its 2 different things" he sighed "Besides Michaela probably throw ya out"

They both turned to look at the door as Grace let out another bellow of pain. Robert E took off his hat cradling his bare head in his hands until the noise stopped "I gotta do somethin'"

"Talk ta me" Sully told him.

"What?"

"Talk ta me" Sully repeated "Tell me about the baby, what ya got planned. What about names?"

Robert E lowered himself onto the bench beside Sully "Names"  
"Yeah baby gotta have a name" Sully placed a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.

"If it's a boy gonna name it Freddie, after Frederick Douglass, Sojourner if it's a girl aftah Sojourner Truth, Grace wants ta name the baby after someone important, after people who fought for our right to be free. Fought so our baby can be free" he wiped his eyes "My baby gonna be free Sully, ain't never gonna work for no one sept itself"

The two men regarded each other, neither sure what to say after Robert E's last statement, after a moment Robert E moved, wringing his abused hat in his hands again. The sound of Grace screaming echoed again and he tensed. Both men cast their eyes to the ground, sleep deprivation and worry getting to them both.

* * *

"Push" Michaela urged as Grace screamed in pain "The head is right there ready to come out, I just need you to push"

"I can't" Grace flopped back against Dorothy, her face dripping with sweat

"Come on now Grace" Dorothy soothed "Think about it, you can hold your baby in a few moments as long as you listen to Michaela and do as she asks"

Grace grunted and shifted herself bearing down with all her might, she screamed as she felt the burning pain between her legs intensify.

"That's it Grace, that's it" Michaela worked quickly "The head's almost out just a few more pushes and the baby will be here"

Grace thrashed her head from side to side completely overcome by the horrible pain she was experiencing "I can't"

"Yes you can" Dorothy forced her friend to sit forward, placing Grace's hand on her shaking knees "Now bear down"

Grace screamed as she pushed, she felt something give, felt something in her and out of her at the same time.

"Again Grace" Michaela urged "The head is out. One really big push and the baby will be here, I promise"

Grace closed her eyes and pushed, harder than she ever thought possible, there was a sound of fluids and then the burning pain was gone. The room erupted with a newborn's scream

"It's a boy Grace, you have a boy"

Grace opened her eyes; Michaela was holding the baby out, she stared at the infant for what felt like the longest time, taking in the sight of his long flailing arms, his miserable squished face, the mop of dark curly hair on the top of his head, her son, her precious son.

* * *

Sully opened the door of the clinic; Michaela was sat on the floor quietly scrubbing away the evidence of the birth.  
"Caela" he crouched down on the floor "You don't need to do that now, it's late"

"It's early" she turned to look at him and inclined her head towards the clock on the wall "6.15, Katie will be up by now" she sighed "How do you think Loren is coping?"

Sully snorted, imagining the battle of wills between the stubborn shop keeper and their forthright little girl. "I wouldn't want to bet on that one" his smile wavered as he realised she was still on the ground "hey come on, get off the floor, I can finish that for ya"

"I'm not an invalid Sully" Michaela retorted, flapping his hands away as he tried to slide them under her arms. Sully was still for a moment barely containing his joy at the tone of her voice. He watched her for a few seconds as she levered her hand against the examination table and began to pull herself up. He stepped forward and helped her "Thank you" Michaela finally stood straight and placed a hand on her sore back "that is beginning to get quite difficult"

"Good reason for that, ya tired, ya pregnant ..." Sully started

"And fat" Michaela finished for him with a sigh.

"I wasn't going to say that" Sully frowned, "You ain't fat" he looked at her and then smiled, her eyes were sparking with energy, full of life, he joined her banter "Besides I said pregnant"

"And I say fat" Michaela ran her hand across her bump with a smile, she tugged at her dress, there was little movement, the fabric already pulled taught "I think I need to see Cynthia, I look positively poured into everything I own"

"Poured" Sully repeated

"mmm, it's almost indecent" she sighed and held her arm out for him "Oh Sully a little boy"

"You still hankering after one for us?" he dropped his hand down to rub her belly

Michaela rested her hand on his "I don't mind, just as long as it's healthy and happy"

Sully kissed the top of her head "And what about it's Ma? is she happy?"

"She's happier" Michaela told him quietly, she moved away from him, positioning herself so that she was leant against the examination table her hands cradling her blossoming belly "I'm sorry I've been so dreadful"

"You ain't been dreadful, you've been sad" Sully stood still watching her every move carefully, not wanting to disturb the recovery she had started to make.

"Yes I have" Michaela looked thoughtfully at the ceiling "but seeing Grace made me realise how really I have no right to be."

"No right?" he frowned "You got every right to be sad"

"But not to the extent I was experiencing. I have four healthy, happy children, doing what they love, thriving." She smiled wistfully "Yes I may have to now travel the best part of a week to see two of them, but I can still see them" Michaela sighed "Grace and Robert E don't have that,"

"Anthony" Sully spoke the deceased boy's name.

Michaela smiled sadly and reached her arms around him, hugging Sully as closely as she could "My children are alive and ..." she gasped, caught by surprise at the sudden movement of the baby.

Sully laughed as he felt the movement within his wife "kicking" he finished her sentence, "Gettin stronger"

Michaela sighed happily "Yes he is"

Sully pushed her away from him, holding her at arm's length, a wide smile on his face "See, I knew you think it's a boy." He pulled his arms in reeling her into a tight hug "Good to have ya back"

"I''ll try not to go there again" Michaela raised her chin,

"Promise me you'll tell me if ya feel like you..." Sully stopped his lips blocked by his wife's. He broke apart breathless from the strong passionate kiss, his Michaela's kiss.

8

Grace looked up as the door to the recovery room swung gently open "Afternoon Miss Grace, I'm not bothering you am I?" Brian stood awkwardly at the door.

"No" she beckoned for the teenager to come in "Did you want to see Freddie?" she shifted her body, biting back the discomfort she felt so that she could show off her precious baby.

Brian grinned at the baby, "He's real cute"

"That he is" Grace moved back to her original position. She noticed that Brian was still standing in the doorway "Brian, was there somthin' else?"

"I wanted to give you something for Freddie" Brian glanced at the floor.

"Well I'm sure Freddie would like a present" she turned the baby towards her raising her voice to speak to the baby in cheerful happy way "Do you want a present from Brian?"

"It ain't from me" Brian reached inside his jacket "Not really" he pulled out a dark grey fabric hat and held it out "Anthony gave it to me, but I think he would want his little brother to have it more"

Grace accepted the hat, taking it into her hand as a tear spilled down her cheek "Thank you Brian" she whispered, nestling the baby closer to her.

"Miss Grace" Brian bit his lip "Would it be alright, when your feelin a bit better if I came and read to Freddie?" his voice lowered to a whisper "like I did for Anthony"

Grace nodded her head slowly "Yes Brian, I'd like that" she brought Freddie to her lips kissing his soft skin tenderly "We'd like that"

* * *

Robert E helped his wife across the meadow as best he could, the ground was sodden; the retained snow from the freeze coupled with the rain had left the ground boggy, and their feet sank into the ground expelling water like from a sponge.

Slowly they made their way over to the graveyard making their way to Anthony's grave. They stood in silence for a few moments observing the weather worn cross.

Grace sighed, struggling with her emotions which were hammering away at her inside, she felt so happy to be holding Freddie but at the same time stood over her first little boy's grave she felt the abysmal sadness of loss.

Robert E carefully lifted the baby out of Grace's hands and crouched down, turning the baby so he was facing the cross. "Freddie this is your brother Anthony" he kissed the whimpering baby "He was real brave and I know that he woulda loved havin' you as a little brother. One day you gonna grow up and be just as brave an' smart as he was." He kissed the baby again, drinking in the beauty of his baby son "And if ya feel like ya all alone you remember you ain't, because Anthony will always be with ya, always watching ya and keeping ya safe, coz he's yer big brother" he raised his hand to touch the cross "and he gonna do a real fine job of takin' care o'you"


	8. Te Amo

_Thanks to everyone for reading, and thank you to the loyal few who are reviewing._

_First off a little warning, this chapter is in places gruesome, it's not gratuitous, it's description of an injury and what Michaela has to do in order to help. I've not done it to be evil, well maybe a bit, and I'm not some freak for thinking it up, what happens has actually come from my Great Uncle researching our family history and how his Grandmother died in 1903, and it fitted in with what I wanted to do._

_This is the Jake and Teresa chapter, as with the show I am trying to give everyone their little episode, but some people will get more coz they are easier to write ( I struggle with Jake). The Teresa I use is the first Teresa who was in season 5. The parts I've written in Spanish are translated at the end of the story(the random numbers), and I apologise if it's wrong I used an online translator._

_Anywhoo let me know what ya think_

_Kate x_

Te Amo

Teresa slammed the draw of her dresser shut and turned to her husband with glowering eyes

"It was a game, it went on longer then I thought" Jake protested, busying himself tying his shoelace.

"In Mexico there are people starving and you waste food for a game" she shot at him angrily, her Spanish accent thickening with rage

"Well we ain't in meh- he-co are we" Jake mocked her pronunciation; he straightened up, and folded his arms, frustrated to be arguing. It was a common problem, he always seemed to have done something to anger his passionate Mexican wife; the passion was great for certain things but the arguments were getting old and he never quite knew when to take her seriously.

Teresa slammed her brush down on the table "If we were in Mexico you would not play that ridiculous game" she lapsed into her native tongue "usted no jugaría en absoluto, los hombres mexicanos vuelve a casa a sus familias, no juego con sus amigos como niños pequeños"1

"I told you before, speak English" Jake rose from the bed exasperated "I don't understand you"

"You do not understand because you will not learn" Teresa spat at him

"You live in America, remember" Jake raised his eyebrows "Ya an American"

"I am Mexican" Her patriotism rose "Apenas porque me casé usted no me hace Americano"2

"FOR GOD'S SAKE WOMAN ENGLISH" Jake bellowed, his frustration reaching boiling point

Teresa's eyes bulged "DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN" she took a step towards him her hand clenched "Cómo el atrevimiento usted habla como ése"3

"I don't understand ya" Jake shot back at her,

Teresa marched angrily to the door, the silence palpable, she wrenched open the door and then stared back at him, her dark eyes glinting, "Well understand this Senor Slicker" her voice was low and menacing, she took a deep breath suddenly yelling and catching him off guard "USTED ES UN HOMBRE ESTÚPIDO"4

* * *

"Sarah" Brian whispered playfully at the blonde girl as she pulled him into the school house. "We can't, Mrs Slicker don't like us coming in before she gets here"

"Then why she give you the key" Sarah tried to slip her hand into his coat pocket to get the school house key

"Sarah" his playful tone dropped, as much as he liked the blonde southern girl, and he really really did, she could be quite forward, he shrugged out of her reach "You know I'm fire monitor this month it's my job to light the stove"

She grinned at him and moved towards the black stove in the corner of the room, she smiled cheekily at him and carefully opened the door to the stove. Brian frowned "Sarah!" he warned, crossing to join her by the stove as she shoved in another piece of kindling "Don't overload it" he cautioned

Sarah chuckled and pushed the stove door to "Your sweet, always concerned about folk" suddenly she threw her arms around his neck "I want to turn with you"

"Turn with me" Brian whispered, struggling to control himself due to her proximity and the onslaught of teenage hormones that were attacking him.

"Turn" she released him with a tinkling laugh and moved away pulling herself to sit on the desk "Take a turn about town; go for a walk, sorta like courting"

"Like courting?" Brian's mouth dropped open

"Well we're too young to court now" she smiled coyly at him "But I'd really like ta step out with ya" Brian gulped air like a fish causing Sarah to laugh "Shall I take that as a yes" She skipped of the desk and moved towards him, hands held behind her back, a teenager's imitation to seduction. Brian held his breath, his body reacting as he knew what was coming, the memory of the kiss she had given him back when they were kids.

"What do you think you are doing?"

The two teens jumped apart guiltily at the angry tone of their teacher's voice.

"Mrs Slicker" Brian moved away from Sarah, looking embarrassed at the floor.

"I do not need you to tell me" Teresa Slicker marched forward, strict on a normal day, when angry she was formidable, and for such as small woman, scary.

Brian gulped. He continued to take small steps away from Sarah his head bent down, trying to breathe to get his body to fall back into control.

Teresa moved towards the front of the classroom, her dark heavy winter skirt moving violently as she walked "This is inappropriate behaviour senorita Sheehan, you know perfectly well that you are not allowed within the building until I call for cla.." her voice trailed off.

Brian looked up as he caught a note of burning in the air. He froze watching as if in slow motion as the flames from the slightly open stove door spread to his teacher's skirt, engulfing the heavy, dust filled fabric in seconds. She twisted her body and sent the flames that had been creeping up the back of her skirt to the front. Teresa's piercing scream broke Brian from his shock.

Brian pulled his jacket off and raced at his teacher shoving her to the ground and rolling her while he beat her legs with his jacket. His hands were burning, blistering as he scrambled to put out the flames. He could hear Sarah screaming for help, the sound of other children flooding into the classroom to watch with horror. "WATER I NEED WATER" Brian bellowed, struggling to put out the flames. Someone, he wasn't sure who, threw a flask load of water over his shoulder, dumping the liquid on the worst of the flames.

The majority of the fire put out and with Teresa's skirts and legs smouldering and smoking Brian shoved his damaged hands underneath her, heaving her into his arms, adrenaline taking over his body. "MOVE" he screamed to the other children, forcing his way through the crowd.

He started to run as fast as he could, running almost blind, refusing to look at the mess of Teresa's legs. "Please be there" he muttered "Please God let her be there" audibly praying that his Ma was in town yet. "Please, please be there", Teresa whimpered as Brian stumbled underneath her, jostling her painfully "I'm sorry" Brian whispered, "I'm sorry"

He neared the bridge, the town in full view; people were running in his direction, drawn by the screams as the children chased after him from the school house. "Please let her be there, please be there please God. Please let her be there"

* * *

Michaela caught the sound of someone screaming "get Dr Mike", she had been in the clinic barely five minutes, just enough time to take her coat off and get Katie settled in the corner. Concerned by the shout she moved to the door and stepped out, the February air hit her and she shivered slightly.

She frowned as she caught sight of Sully running down the street from the direction livery where he had gone to park the wagon. He was running at full speed, the fringe of his buckskin jacket parallel to the ground "Sully!" she called out to him. He ignored her, running straight passed her, his gaze fixed intently on something in the distance "Sully?" She stepped out onto the street, her mouth dropped open as she saw the reason for his speed, and she began running, as fast as she was able, towards her son.

* * *

Brian nearly collapsed into Sully as the man skidded to a halt beside him, "Sully" he managed to whisper, his body fighting the shock that was rapidly rising within him. His chest was beginning to tighten and all he wanted to do was throw up, but he knew he had to get Mrs Slicker to the clinic, knew he had to get her to his Ma. He saw her, the only person he knew who could help, shambling towards them, trying to run, trying to come to his aid as quickly as she could. "Ma" he bleated,

Every other person on the street, every other noise vanished, all the screams, all the shouting gone and all he focused on was the woman in front of "Ma" he whispered and he took a stumbling step, his leg gave way, unable to cope with the force of the tremors that were now coursing through his body. He collapsed towards the ground. He was aware that someone lifted Teresa from his arms, stopping him from dropping her, and he fell forward, falling hard. He screamed, a shooting agony ripping up his arms as he landed with his hands outstretched the blistered raw skin of his palms, bursting and bleeding as they smashed into the ground. "Ma" he called conscious of faces and hands reaching for him, trying to help, but all he wanted to find was her. "Ma, help her"

* * *

Michaela head turned from her traumatised son at his cry, Sully was already moving away towards the clinic, the worryingly silent Teresa in his arms. She found her voice "Dorothy" she sought out her friend "I need you cool Brian's hands with water" she turned and began to run towards the clinic, her condition impeding her gait "Make sure it's clean" she called over her shoulder "Loren!" she caught sight of the store keeper rushing towards her "I need James, I'll need his help"

"I'll send someone" Loren called waving his arm to one of the shocked onlooker to get him to come to him

"I need someone to go now" Michaela called twisting her head to see that Sully was fumbling with the door trying to open the door with his foot and keep Teresa balanced in his arms.

"I need to stay here Dr Mike" Loren told her, gently pushing her towards the clinic "I gotta be here"

Suddenly an awful sound silenced the street "TERESA!" Jake's anguished cry echoed round the town as he caught sight of his wife. He ran, faster than Michaela had ever seen him run his life and she moved to block his path, Loren and a half dressed Hank moving in to intercept him as well. "Teresa" Jake ran into Hank's arms as Michaela pushed open the door of the clinic allowing Sully to enter.

"Jake I need you to stay outside" Michaela called to him while moving into the clinic.

"Come on now Jake" Loren helped Hank to hold the straining Mayor "Let Dr Mike do her job, let her help Teresa"

"Jake" Hank pushed his backwards from the door, grabbing Jake's arm as it reached out to grab Michaela "You gotta let her work, she'll help her, Michaela will help her"

* * *

Sully laid Teresa on the table. As soon as the school teacher was out of his arms he moved to the corner where Katie was sat sorting her toys for her day of play ahead. Purposefully he blocked her view of the table, preventing her from seeing the horror of Teresa's ruined legs. "Do you need anything?" Sully called over his shoulder to Michaela "I'm gonna take Katie to Grace" He lifted Katie from behind so that she was facing the outer wall of the clinic, with one arm supporting her seat he began sidestepping as quickly as he could, keeping Katie facing away from the table.

"I need water, lots of water" Michaela told him as she stood by Teresa's head assessing the injured woman's level of consciousness "and check that someone has gone to get James," she glanced down at Teresa's legs "I'll need his help". She inhaled sharply as Sully closed the door and resumed her work, Teresa was silent, her upper body shaking as she tried to assimilate what had happened to her. Michaela studied the woman closely, assessing her silently for signs of shock

"Teresa?" Michaela whispered gently

"Mis muslos" Teresa whispered her eyes brimming with tears

"Muslos" Michaela repeated "Teresa does that mean legs?"

"Si" Teresa nodded her head "thighs"

Michaela glanced towards the damaged area, "Your thighs hurt" Michaela took a step down the table to properly assess Teresa's condition. Her skirts had been burnt away, leaving her lower limbs exposed to the air through the tattered remains. Above the knees the skin was red and blistered, covered in partial thickness burns, But beneath the knee the skin on both leg was broken, weeping, red and charred, the layers of the skin burnt away in places to reveal the calf muscle, with the fabric of her skirts seemingly stuck on the skin that was left. Full thickness burns. Michaela gulped as she felt bile rise in her mouth, the horrible acrid smell of burnt flesh making her feel nauseous, she swallowed, forcing down her discomfort she turned her attention back to Teresa. "Does anywhere else hurt?"

"No Senora Quinn" Teresa fought back her tears "That is a bad thing? Si?"

* * *

Jake sank into the chair that Hank had pushed him towards; the hotel was bustling, as those who had been witnessing the commotion slunk back inside to their rooms. He couldn't think straight, all that was in his mind was the image of Sully staggering as he tried to open the door, and Teresa's legs. Her legs. He gagged, a stream of thick vomit pouring from his mouth as he emptied his stomach.

"Easy now" Hank held Jake upright, the vomit didn't bother him; he had seen many a drunken bum in his time. Carefully the hotel owner pulled over a spittoon and set it beneath Jake, in case he felt the need again. "She'll be alright" Hank told Jake patting his friends back as Jake coughed and spluttered

"You didn't see her" Jake mumbled wiping his sleeve across his mouth "her legs, her..." he wretched again

Hank braced his friend unsure of what to say to say to help him. He looked over his shoulder, staring through the open door as Sully rushed back to the clinic with a vat of water.

"I didn't tell her I loved her" Jake mumbled as he straightened out from over the spittoon, "I didn't tell her"

Hank removed his gaze from the clinic wall "You'll get a chance, don't worry Jake, You'll get to tell her" he exhaled, wishing he had a cigar in his mouth, hoping that what he was saying was true.

* * *

Brian whimpered as Dorothy very carefully blotted his hands. She looked at him apologetically and slowly lowered the torn sheet she was using, pressing it into his hand to try and staunch the flow of blood and fluid.

"I'm sorry Brian" Dorothy gently patted the young boy's shoulder, he shook his head, trying to dismiss her concerns "You don't have to pretend Brian"

"Focusing on not crying helps me not focus on the pain" Brian grimaced slightly

"You tell me if I hurt you too much" Dorothy removed the cloth from his hand and dropped it into her waste basket before gathering another strip and placing it onto the broken skin, carefully she tied it before moving to work on the other hand.

"Do you think she'll die?" Brian whispered, staring at the wall that ran alongside the clinic.

Dorothy paused in her treatment "Michaela will do her best for that not to happen" she caught Brian's look which told her he was not convinced "You're Ma is an incredible doctor"

"I know" Brian nodded slightly "but did you see her legs, did you actually see 'em. She just went up so fast, there weren't nothing I could do"

"You saved her Brian" Dorothy pointed out "If you hadn't acted so quickly, if you hadn't..."

"I shoulda checked the stove" Brian blurted "Should of checked it after she opened it, I'm the fire monitor"

"It's not your fault" Brian looked around at the sound of Sarah's tearful voice, "I'm sorry Brian, I never should of opened it, I don't know why I did" she moved towards him "Oh your hands"

Dorothy studied the two teenagers before her, taking in their shaken appearance, and Sarah's remorse "Sarah, Brian, What happened?"

"I opened the stove, Brian told me not to, I put another bit of wood in" Sarah slumped against the wooden wall of the gazette

"I didn't check she closed it" Brian whispered thick tears rolling down his pale cheeks "I should have checked, Miss Teresa walked past and her skirt just went up, I couldn't stop it I tried but it took so long" he stared at Dorothy his eyes wide with terror "What if she dies Dorothy? Ma gotta save her she just gotta"

* * *

"Michaela, my dear I came as fast as I could" James scurried into the clinic, he greeted her with a nod and set his bag on her desk before hurrying to stand beside her at the examination table. "Sully" he nodded

"Teresa, this is Dr Caulfield, from the Chateau" Michaela introduced her patient and colleague "He will be assisting me"

"How are you feeling?" James asked Teresa with concern.

"I..." Teresa stammered, before dissolving into tears.

Michaela placed a comforting hand on Teresa's shoulder "Teresa, please, I know this is upsetting and you're in pain, but please try not to cry" she glanced at James "I've been treating the area with cool, moist sheets and given her morphine for the pain, I've managed to get Teresa to drink, for fluid replacement" she raised a glass and gently cupped Teresa's head "Can you drink some more for me"

Teresa took a few tentative sips, before Michaela felt the effort drain out of the Mexican woman's neck and Teresa's head become heavy in her hands.

"What is your proposed treatment" James asked as he stared intently at the sheet covering Teresa's legs

"Debridement," Michaela sighed "and bandaging, I was considering what salve to use to aid with moisture retention"

"I have some colloidal silver" James fished into his bag and pulled out a clear bottle "It's been proven to help with healing burns, may I suggest we forgo the salve and soak the bandages in this"

Sully moved as he saw Michaela nod in agreement, quickly crossing to the cabinet where she kept the rolls of bandages. He lifted them out as James joined him, "Can I take two for Brian?"

"He's hurt?" James asked with alarm

"He was the one who brought Teresa in" Sully told him with a mixture of pride and sadness. "His hands got burnt"

"Of course" the male doctor reached for a dish on the side, he poured a small amount of the liquid into the dish and crossed to the vat of water. With a degree of measured precision James ladled the amount of water he required and carefully tilted the dish to mix the two liquids. His preparation complete he turned back to Sully, indicating for the worried father to place two bandages in the solution. "Let these soak for about ten minutes and then apply them as tightly as he can bear, try to touch the bandage as little as possible"

Sully nodding in understanding and moved towards the door, he paused to kiss Michaela, his tender lingering kiss providing her with the strength she needed "I'm gonna sort Brian out, I'm sure he'll be fine" he kissed her gently again "If ya need me I'll be with him" he brushed his lips against hers a final time before he fled from the clinic to tend to his son.

James finished preparing the bandages, dropping the neatly rolled fabric strips into the solution he prepared and returned to the bed. "Are you ready?" he asked,

"Teresa" Michaela stroked the injured woman's hair "We're going to clean your legs, it will be very painful so I'm going to give you some chloroform to put you to sleep so you won't feel anything"

Teresa reached out her hand to prevent Michaela from placing the ether soaked rag over her mouth and nose "Senora Quinn, por favor, please I want to see my Jake again, you must promise, prométame that you will do everything so that I may live to see him"

"I promise Teresa" Michaela felt Teresa grip loosen and she placed the cloth across her patient's mouth, after a few seconds the chemical took effect and Teresa's dark eyes closed.

The patient unconscious, Michaela carefully began to lower the cool damp sheet,

"Oh my" James exclaimed as Teresa's injuries were revealed "my goodness" he recovered and looked up at Michaela "I will take the left leg you take the right"

* * *

"Sully" He turned as Hank called his name, carefully he held the dish containing the precious bandages for Brian in his hands. "How's she doin?" Hank asked stopping beside Sully and running his fingers through his long hair.

"James is helping Michaela treat her, something call debridement" Sully explained glanced towards the clinic.

"What's that?" Hank asked following Sully's gaze.

Sully shrugged, he hadn't asked nor had he wanted to know "How's Jake?"

"Puking his guts out in the back" Hank told him quietly, "How's Brian?"

"I'm going to check on him now, James gave me some bandages for his hands" he indicated the dish

"He gonna be able to play?" Hank asked, referring to Brian playing piano in the hotel at the weekend

"Worried about ya profits?" Sully's voice was hard with anger

"No" Hank answered quickly "Worried about him, You should see him when he plays, it's like he comes alive all over again" he kicked at the dirt uncomfortable with showing compassion "same with his writin,"

"Brian's hands will get better" Sully told him forcefully, as if trying to convince himself "I better get these to him" he looked at the dish forlornly

Hank nodded "Better get back to Jake, stop him from reaching for the bottle" he turned to go back into the hotel but paused "Sully" he pivoted slightly "You tell Brian that..." he trailed off and looked sheepishly at the other man "You know"

"I'll let him know" Sully told him in understanding "You come get me if Jake gives ya any trouble"

"I can handle Jake" Hank turned back to the hotel "Just hope ya wife can handle Teresa"

* * *

Michaela swayed slightly, feeling as though her head had detached from her body for a moment, James was by her in an instance.

"Michaela" the small man seized her by the elbow "you must sit down" he guided her back to the cot and helped her sit down before gripping her wrist to take her pulse.

"I'm alright" Michaela told him

"And I'm 6 foot 4" James quipped back,

"I'm fine James" Michaela whispered, her free hand clutching her bump, she looked up at the clock, it was almost 11 o clock, and she had felt her stomach rumble more than one time this morning. She sighed, she was in that period of her pregnancy where she was constantly ravenous, just as she had been during her first pregnancy "I think I'm just hungry"

James released her hand and patted it like some favourite uncle "Then we must get you some food" he rose and crossed to his bag, swiftly he pulled out a neatly wrapped square parcel and approached the cot, he looked at her tentatively "How have you been feeling in yourself?" he held out the parcel

"I'm fine," she rubbed her belly thoughtfully "I just seem to be expanding rather quickly, like I did with Katie" she opened the parcel that James had given her and smiled "Shortbread"

"Mmm a weakness, oof I have many, I swear I should be spherical" he looked sideways, his eyes hovering on her stomach "Apologies, I don't mean to offend"

"I believe spherical is rather a good description" she blushed and tentatively traced her circumference with a finger.

James studied her "Are you concerned about your size?"

"A little" Michaela admitted "I feel bigger than I did with Katie, heavier, I know I'm gaining weight faster, I try not to overeat but it still seems to be increasing more than it should" she sighed "I'm sure it's due to my age"

James nodded in agreement "I have seen it in older mother's before, and your pre pregnancy size was very small, I fear there is little place for the baby to grow but out" he noted her discomfort "Still you're on the home stretch now,"

She nodded with a weak smiled and took another bite of the sweet biscuit. Swallowing her mouthful she frowned turning her attention back onto Teresa "I am surprised how well she has coped"

"She's strong" James agreed "The debridement is going well, but I fear her left leg is not salvageable" he sighed "There is scorching on her tibia"

"You believe we should amputate" Michaela whispered, recalling the awful surgeries she had seen when training.

"I fear we have no choice" James sighed heavily again "Not even colloidal silver will help that heal, for the sake of preservation of life. It is in her best interest. Once you've recovered I think we should begin"

"Should we not get her consent first, or Jake's?" Michaela fretted "We can't just amputate"

James shook his head "She gave you permission, she told you to do anything so that she could see her husband"

Michaela sat still, silently considering what James proposed "No" she shook her head "I need to speak to Jake, he deserves to know what we are doing"

"But we are agreed that amputation..."

"I agree with your diagnosis James" Michaela cut him off; she swallowed her last mouthful of biscuit and hesitantly pushed herself to her feet. Feeling secure enough in her balance she moved to the doorway "We'll begin when I return"

* * *

"Amputate" Loren stared at Michaela horrified "Cut her leg off"

"It's the only way we will be able to prevent a possible fatal infection in her left leg" Michaela explained to the assembled group of men

"No" Jake intoned weakly

"But Jake she'll die if we don't" Michaela informed him

"I ain't lettin' ya" Jake folded his arms, fixing Michaela with a cold stare "I ain't lettin' you butcher her"

Michaela swallowed "I know your upset Jake, I don't like this either but we need to perform the amputation, James and I both believe..."

"You believe, you don't know she'll get an infection, ya never do" Jake scowled at her, his voice rose in anger

"Cool it Jake" Hank muttered subtly shifting his position so that he could force Jake back into the chair if the man did anything stupid.

"Cool it! She wants to butcher my wife" Jake directed his angry stare at Hank

"Now Jake, Michaela and Dr Caulfield would not suggest this if there was no alternative" The Reverend pointed out

"No" Jake repeated again, he leant forward in his chair "I ain't lettin you do it"

Michaela pushed herself out of her chair "Teresa gave us permission to do anything in order that she would live to see you. I do not need your permission"

Jake moved, quicker than anyone had anticipated, quicker then Hank could stop him. He grabbed Michaela, holding her tightly to him, her face close to him, her swollen abdomen pressed painfully against the buckle of his belt. Hank and Loren grabbed his arms trying to prize him off Michaela

"Jake you're hurting me" Michaela whimpered

"Let her go Jake" Loren pleaded struggling to pry the barber's fingers from her arm.

"I ain't letting you cripple my wife" Jake hissed, his spit spraying Michaela's terrified face.

"Jake don't make me knock you out" Hank yelled "Let her go"

There was a clattering of footsteps and the men looked round. Sully barged into the hotel, he took one look at Michaela's damp face, at the two men trying to pull Jake's grip from her arms and charged. Frightened by the sudden movement Jake released Michaela, he stumbled backwards hitting a chair and collapsing over the back of it. Sully stopped level with Michaela, shaking with rage he held out his arm for her, she ran to him folding herself between his arms, hugging her belly protectively "You OK? Baby OK?" Sully whispered his voice still shaking with rage,

"The baby is fine" Michaela whispered, she curved her spine which forced her abdomen into his torso so that he could share the motion going on within her "Thank you"

"Had a feelin' ya needed me" Sully told her dismissively,

Michaela gave a shuddering breath "Is he alright?" she turned her face to peer over the chair that Jake had fallen over.

"He's fine" Hank told her gruffly as he hauled Jake to his feet "You go do ya operation, I'll sort him out" he glanced apologetically at her "Sorry I weren't quick enough" he tugged Jake roughly by the collar and led him towards the back of the hotel away from other people that he could hurt.

"Dr Mike" the Reverend called, still seated at the table, he wore a bewildered expression on his bearded face, evidently puzzled by what had just occurred "If you would permit me I would like to come with you" he stood uneasily "I am aware that Teresa is Catholic, but in light of the seriousness I can help her" he cleared his throat "Should the occasion arise" Michaela gulped at his inference "I could assist with monitoring her breathing allowing you and James to work on her legs"

"I would appreciate that" Michaela thanked him "Sully" she rested her hand on his chest, conscious that he seemed to be holding his breath "How's Brian?"

Sully's shoulders relaxed slightly, he kissed her tenderly "Alright, shaken, but Dorothy done a real good job of bandaging his hands." he looked towards Loren "Perhaps you could go sit with him Loren, know he'd appreciate it"

"Sure thing Sully"

"Loren would you assist me over the clinic?" The Reverend sensing that Michaela and Sully required time alone held out his hand.

Sully silently watched as the two men left, the hotel bar now empty he turned to face Michaela "You really alright?"

"I'm fine" she told him bravely "I may bruise though, his grip was quite tight" she smiled feebly "But we are most certainly alright,"

"Good" Sully lightly ran his fingers across the areas where Jake had been gripping her, willing any pain she was still feeling away. "You operatin?" he asked after a few minutes of gentle touches

"Yes" Michaela blinked, a lone tear falling down her flushed cheek

"Hey" Sully pulled her into his arms again "It's alright. I won't let him hurt you"

"No it isn't that" she rested her head against his chest "We have to amputate her leg Sully, I can't imagine waking up and finding a limb was gone" she shuddered slightly "I only hope it will be enough" she straightened her neck, and twisted her head to look up at him "Sully, you know I love you don't you?"

Sully frowned at her question "Course I do, why'd you ask me that?"

"I just wanted to be certain" she exhaled heavily, a glimmer of exhaustion washing over her face

He cupped her chin "You alright to be doing this?"

"Of course" she nodded her head assertively "I shall be assisting James, he will perform the actual amputation"

They turned at the sound of a gentle cough, one of Hank's girls stood shyly in the doorway to the back "Sorry to interrupt, but Hank wants to know if your offer still stands about Jake Mr Sully" she looked nervously over her shoulder "he thinks that Jake would be more cooperative if you were there"

* * *

Michaela did her best to close her ears off as James worked with the bone saw. It was a horrifying noise, one which set her teeth on edge with each rasping stroke. There was a sickening thud as the removed portion of Teresa's limb fell to one side. James lowered the saw, he placed a heavy absorbent pad over the sawn area and looked up at Michaela "If you would check that you agree with the proportion of the flap, I would be most appreciative" she nodded in confirmation James gave a lame smile "Would you begin to suture the wound while I dispose of the limb"

Michaela moved into a better position, carefully she pulled the flaps of skin over the wound. James had removed the leg from just above the knee in order that they had enough healthy skin to cover the stump, she shuddered slightly, even the word stump filled her with dread.

"Dr Mike, are you ok?" the Reverend asked from where he was seated by Teresa's head

"Yes thank you Reverend." Michaela began to stitch

"She is lucky" The Reverend spoke quietly his hand hovering over Teresa's mouth as he monitored her breathing

"I'm afraid I don't follow" Michaela looked up at him surprised that he would consider Teresa's predicament as lucky

"She has you as a Doctor" the blind man smiled at her proudly "You won't give up on her"

"Give up?" Michaela paused in her stitching to consider what he could mean

"Jake" The Reverend told her quietly, "Do you really believe that he will stand by her?"

Michaela shook her head "We have to hope that he will"

* * *

Jake stared belligerently at Sully, his blue eyes daring the other man to say something which he could use as ammunition. Frustratingly Sully was silent, just sat still staring at him, glowering, still angry over what he had done to Michaela. He felt bad about what he had done to her but he couldn't let her do what she was going to do, though that had probably now been done and Teresa would be without one of her legs. Jake looked away from Sully and smashed his head angrily against the wall, his wife the cripple, confined to a chair, unable to work, unable to look after the house, probably unable to look after herself. It would be better if she was dead, better for both of them, that way neither of them would suffer. Suffer the humiliation and discomfort and ridicule that would come with being a cripple. Jake shuddered at the thought of the word, it made him feel sick. She would be crippled, deformed, not Teresa anymore.

He looked up as Sully stood half expecting the man to reach and hit him. Instead Sully was regarding him with a sad look on his face, a look which seemed as though he knew what Jake was thinking. The two men stared at each other, their blue eyes boring into each other. Finally Sully broke their gaze, with a shake of his head "Ya a selfish man Jake Slicker"

"Selfish!"

"Ya wife is hurt, and all ya thinkin about is you, how her being hurt affects you" Sully leant against the wall.

"You don't know what it's like" Jake spat at him, his blue eyes narrowed with anger

Sully crouched down fixing Jake with a serious stare "Sure Jake, Michaela's never been hurt or in danger" he ran his fingers through his hair as he inhaled "tell me what it's like for you, tell me how ya feel"

"Why" Jake scowled

Sully sighed "Cause I want ya to prove me wrong"

* * *

Teresa groaned as she came too, her body ached, her pain screeching through the comfort of the morphine she had been given. She was aware that someone was at her side but in the gloom of the darkening room and the haze of anaesthesia she couldn't make out who is was.

"Jake" she mumbled, her mouth was parched, her tongue dry, feeling like it would stick to the roof of her mouth. A lamp was turned up at the far end of the room, the flame kept away from her so to not startle her "Senora Quinn" she mumbled again, the thoughtfulness of the gesture was obviously the Doctor's and not an action of her husband.

"Teresa?" Michaela's voice sounded distant to Teresa, like a voice overheard on a breeze, she struggled to grab hold of the voice as it spoke again.

"Senora Quinn" Teresa spoke again, blinking her eyes to try and make them focus

"I'm here"

Teresa held out an arm trying to find Michaela as she struggled to locate the other woman. She felt comfort as Michaela took her hand, the Doctor's smooth, warm hands carefully holding her own, tenderly stroking the back of her hand.

"agua" Teresa mumbled, her eyes closing as she felt the tug of sleep again.

Michaela watched as Teresa closed her eyes again. She squeezed the injured woman's hand, forcing her to open her eyes "Agua? Would you like a drink?"

"Si"

Michaela complied, reaching for the jug and cup on the cabinet beside her chair and poured a small amount of water into the container. Slowly Michaela slid her arms under Teresa's shoulders bringing her upright enough that she could take a small sip. The drink seemed to awaken Teresa more, Michaela made to lay Teresa back down on the bed but she gripped Michaela's arm, forcing Michaela to hold her upright

"Senora Quinn, my leg" Teresa stared at the bed her brain having trouble assimilating the image in front of her. Trying to comprehend that where her left leg should be there was just the blankets flattened against the mattress

Michaela carefully positioned Teresa back down on the mattress "We had to amputate your leg" she told her simply "The fire had burned the bone"

"You removed it. You did this to save my life?" Teresa asked with a shaky voice

"Yes" Michaela took Teresa's hand again "I'm sorry"  
"No sea"5 Teresa stifled a sob "You did as I asked" she scanned her eyes around the room "Where is he? Where is my husband?"

Michaela took a deep breath "He is at the hotel"

"He does not wish to see me" Teresa's face fell, the agony of the thought hurting her more than the pain in her damaged body

"He's frightened and confused" Michaela excused him "He did not want us to perform the operation" she tensed slightly at the memory of his hurtful grip, her hand moving round to stroke her belly where it had been pressed painfully against the metal buckle.

"Senora Quinn, please tell me my husband did not act improperly towards you"

Michaela looked down at Teresa with mild surprise, not quite believing that given everything Teresa was concerned about Jake's manners "He was upset" Michaela excused him again

Teresa Shoulders slumped at her answer "I apologize"

"Teresa, Jake will come around, at present he is frightened, but Sully is with him, and the Reverend has gone to join them, they will help him find his way back to you" she gave Teresa's hand a reassuring squeeze "What I need you to focus on is healing, you have been through a very traumatic experience and you have a long journey to recovery. You must put your strength into you, not waste it on worrying about Jake"

"You wish for me to not think about my husband?" Teresa frowned, she pulled her hand away.

Michaela reached and took Teresa's hand back, resuming her tender motion "No, you can think of him, but think of the positive, think about your love, his love. The love that he will find again"

* * *

The Reverend felt his way to a chair and lowered himself into it, he gripped hold of his stick listening to the words that Jake was speaking, trying to catch the gist of the conversation

"...But she's different, her body won't look how it should" Jake tried to explain

"It don't matter what she look like" Sully muttered frustrated with the endless circles the conversation with Jake was taking "That's like you saying I shouldn't love Michaela because she's pregnant, because she'd changed shape and growing bigger every day"

"That's different" Jake dropped his head into his hands "That ain't permanent"

"No it ain't" Sully agreed "But I would love her even if it were, it don't matter, you shouldn't love a woman because of what she looks like, it helps but it shouldn't be the only reason" he sighed "lovin a woman is about lovin their soul, holdin their heart, knowin their mind, not about the way they look. If that's the only reason you want a woman, then ya should have stuck with Hank's whores"

"You made vows Jake" The Reverend joined in "You stood before, Carlos and I and pledged to God that you would love her in sickness and in health"

"And that shouldn't be the only reason you go to her either" Sully interjected "Don't go coz you feel obliged to. You love this woman Jake, something in you changed when ya saw her, made you look past all yer prejudices about colour. Ya don't care that she's Mexican so what does it matter that she only got one leg"

The room fell quiet, Jake seemingly unable to answer Sully's question. Suddenly he moved pushing back his chair and storming to the window to stare out across the road towards the clinic "What if I can't look after her?"

"You will Jake" The Reverend spoke in a measured tone "You will be able to do anything as long as you put your mind to it. You learnt to read, you became Mayor, and you stopped drinking"

"But she's gonna need special help, she won't be able to get about, she won't be able to teach, that's part of who she is, she loves doin that" Jake sighed "She don't like relying on people"

"She will learn" The Reverend turned his body in the direction of Jake's voice, slowly he rose from his chair and walked across the room, unaided and without bumping in to any of the furniture "As I did"

"What if she gets that melon thing that Horace got when Myra left" Jake placed his hands against the window frame, supporting himself with his hands as he leant forward to rest his forehead on the glass.

"You'll help her through it" The Reverend placed a comforting hand on his shoulder

"What if she..." Jake began

"What if's don't always happen" Sully rose moving to join Jake the beside the window "I heard ya scream her name, before you saw her, I heard the pain that comes when someone ya love gets hurt, you love her"

"Sully is right" the Reverend tightened his grip on Jake "We can stand here until it's Judgement Day talking about all the different options, but at the end of the day..."

"It won't change the fact that she over there an' she needs ya" Sully finished his sentence "She needs ya love"

* * *

Michaela carefully lowered herself onto the side of the bed that contained her children, Brian stirred at the movement and peeled open his eyes.

"Ma" his voice was high, his voice from when he was a child.

"sssh" Michaela soothed, lovingly stroking his face "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come see you"

"Is she? Did she?" Brian whispered wincing as he inadvertently placed pressure on his hand

"She survived, she's awake, James is with her" Michaela reached for his hand to examine the neat bandage work "Dorothy did a good job. Are you in any pain?"

Brian bravely shook his head "I'm alright" he sat up; mindful of his sister nestled beside him asleep. "Ma?" he swallowed "Is she gonna be Ok?"

"She has a long way to go but in time she will be" Michaela smiled at him, and shifted her weight, her face pulling into a slight grimace

"Ma?" Brian whispered,

Michaela shifted again "I'm alright, my back is sore"

"Do you need to lie down?" Brian made to get out of the bed.

Michaela held her hands out preventing him from climbing out; she shook her head "No, I will be alright, I just wanted to check on you and Katie. I'm going to stay at the clinic tonight, Grace said that you two can remain here." She looked up at the noise of Freddie crying in another room. The five week old baby's cries woke Katie and the little girl sat up startled "Hello sweetheart" Michaela greeted her warmly

"Mama!" Katie called happily; she crawled across the bed to sit beside Michaela,

"Have you been a good girl for Grace?" Michaela cradled her daughter beside her.

"Hewlp wit Feddie" Katie snuggled her head against Michaela's side, her left hand reaching for her mouth so that she could suck her thumb "Mwma" she pulled her thumb out for a moment, her eyes fluttering "Bwian sad" she resumed sucking her thumb, lulling herself into sleep.

Michaela looked up and studied Brian

"It's my fault it happened" Brian told her as he scrutinized his hands "My fault she got hurt"

"No it isn't Brian" Michaela told him calmly "It was a sequence of events that many people we're involved in, including Mrs Slicker, you played a small part in that sequence, but ultimately you saved her life" she held her free arm out for him. He crawled over, leaning into her in an awkward but tender hug, Michaela sighed content to be holding her children. Brian withdrew from the uncomfortable position, but remained knelt beside her. Michaela tenderly stroked his face "You saved her Brian, if you hadn't put out the fire she would have died" she turned his hands over so the bandaged palms were facing up "You are a very brave young man, and I'm so proud of you"

"But what if she..." Brian started but stopped as she placed a finger on his lips.

"Don't fret, Mrs Slicker is strong, she will be OK, because you saved her"

Brian lunged forward, wrapping his arms around her neck, his head falling onto his mother's shoulders and the tears that had been brewing all day began to flow, finally able, in her comforting arms, to allow himself to release his pain.

* * *

Teresa looked around as she heard the recovery room door open, expecting to see one of the Doctors she was surprised as her husband slunk in.

"Jake" she whispered. He did not respond, instead he seemed frozen, his eyes transfixed on the space on the bed where her leg should have been "Jake" she repeated again

He shook himself and moved his head to look at her, his blue eyes burning with tears "Low sento" he whispered.

"Pardon?" Teresa looked at him with surprise

"Low sento" Jake repeated "That's I'm sorry isn't it"

"Si lo siento is I'm sorry" she gulped "you learnt to say I'm sorry"

Jake took a step closer to the bed "I figured it would be what I have to say the most" he looked up alarmed as Teresa began to cry "Hey, you alright? do ya want me to get Dr Mike?"

Teresa shook her head "No" she swallowed trying to stop her tears, "Please" she held her arm out to him.

Tentatively Jake took another step closer and took her hand "I don't want to hurt you"

"Jake please" she pulled her arm in, moving her husband closer to him, he nudged the bed, the jarring motion causing her to wince.

"Damn, I'm sorry, lo siento, I'm sorry" he tried to move away from the bed frightened to hurt her more.

"Jake" Teresa held his hand tightly and raised her tear stained face towards him "Please, it is alright" he smiled strongly at him, trying to let him know, but unable to say the words, that his simple gesture was the most thoughtful thing he could have done to prove that he loved her "Jake, I would like you to learn another phrase. Te Amo"

"Tey Ammo" Jake repeated "What's that mean?"

Teresa pulled him closer to her, holding her chin out in order that he would see she wanted his kiss. Slowly he lowered down, carefully and lightly pecking her, terrified to hurt her. Teresa captured his head and forced him to kiss her with passion "Te Amo, means I love you"

* * *

1. you would not play at all, Mexican men come home to their families, not play with their friends like little boys

2. Just because I married you does not make me American

3. How dare you speak like that

4. You are a stupid man

5. Do not be


	9. Symbol of Innocence

_Thanks for reading and thanks for reviewing, this chapter is certainly a change of pace from the last and would have the labelled of mild peril, it's a Horace chapter._

_Let me know what you think_

_Kate x _

_

* * *

_

Symbol of innocence

Sully watched Michaela walk down the street ahead of him with amusement. Her arms were swinging wide and high, almost if she was marching but in reality the motion was helping propel her forward in order she could almost walk normally. He chuckled slightly.

"What funny Papa?" Katie asked from her place on his hip.

"Just watching ya Ma" Sully told her in a conspiratorial whisper "looks like she's trying to knock someone out" He watched Michaela stride forward, and smiled, she was trying not to waddle, desperately and stubbornly trying to prevent herself from doing what would soon be completely unavoidable.

"Down pease" Katie requested, Sully did as she asked holding his hand out for his daughter to take, but she had other ideas, and ran the distance to her mother. She caught her mother's hand mid swing, causing Michaela to stumble slightly.

"Katie!" Michaela came to a stop, slightly frustrated.

"Mama" Katie responded, she peered up at her mother and gave her a beaming smile "Who knock out?" seeing her mother's puzzled look she tried again "you wawlk and Papa say you knock out" she released her Mother's hand and imitated the walk that Michaela had been doing moments earlier, one little arm swinging wildly, the other gripping hold of Flo roughly round the neck.

Sully stepped up sheepishly "Ya looked like ya were fixin' to give someone a black eye" he clarified, smiling at Katie's antics.

Michaela huffed and folded her arms, her wide mouth pouting "It takes a lot more force to move myself around these days" she scowled as Sully chuckled "Don't laugh at me," she objected "It's your fault, that I..." she trailed off "What?"

"You're real cute when you're mad" Sully stepped forward lightly kissing her on the corner of her mouth "An' I love it when ya pout"

"I am not pouting" Michaela protested

"Well whatever ya doin' now I love it" he kissed her again "Now why don't ya just give in and face the fact that ya can't walk like ya used to cause o' the baby"  
"I don't want to waddle" she whined checking around them to see if anyone was watching them

"All that arm swinging gotta be tiring" Sully reasoned "And if ya ain't careful ya gonna do someone an injury" he kissed her again "Besides it's gonna happen eventually"

"And I would prefer if it was later" she sighed and rubbed her ever expanding belly

"Ya can't make the baby grow slower" Sully pulled her into a hug, her face resting slightly lower on his chest then normal as her bump forced her to stand further from him.

They broke apart at the sound of Katie tutting, the little girl stood watching them with raised eyebrows "Michaela, I'm scared" Sully whispered jovially "She looks like ya Ma" Michaela swatted him playfully on the chest, Sully bit his lip to stifle a laugh "What is it Katie girl?"

"Always huggin' and kissin'" Katie shook her head dramatically.

Sully lunged for her and lifted her into the air, bouncing and tickling her till she was laughing with delight, "You just don't like it when we leave ya out"

Katie giggled and reached from Sully's arms to hug Michaela, wrapping her free arm around her mother's neck "wove you" the sweet moment was broken by the whistle sounding from the approaching train, "Twain" Katie called happily

"Come on then" Sully lowered Katie to the ground and clutched her hand tightly. He watched as Michaela moved off again, her arm swinging motion in full effect until she paused "Ya giving in?" Sully asked stepping up behind her and placing his free hand tenderly on the small of her arching back.

"Yes" he voice was quiet "I will admit defeat and accept that I am now a huge..."

"Beautiful" Sully interrupted "glowin', stunnin', gorgeous, mother to be" he kissed her sweetly "Did I say beautiful?"

"You may have mentioned it" Michaela smiled coyly. "Shall we see if my gait will allow us to arrive before the train?"

Together the family moved off continuing their journey to the station, Sully adjusting his usual confident stride to keep in time with Katie's short legs and Michaela's newly adopted swaying waddle. They reached the station as the train pulled around the corner.

"Horace" Sully greeted the postmaster as the stepped up onto the boarded platform.

"Hey Sully" Horace greeted them happily, his body bouncing up and down as he seemed to bubble over with anticipation

"You got somethin' important on tha train?" Sully asked, as he lifted Katie into his arms in order to keep her safe from harm.

"Samantha" Horace told him happily

"Myra and Samantha are visiting?" Michaela smiled at him

Horace's smile wavered slightly "No just Samantha, Myra is busy" he glanced at Sully "Got a telegram for ya" he turned and bounded up the platform returning momentarily with the familiar yellow paper "Here ya are"

"Thanks" Sully took the paper and scanned it, a frown crossing his face for a second.

"Sully?" Michaela queried, wrapping her hand around his waist as the train pulled noisily into the station.

"Job" he told her simply and stuffed the piece of paper into his pocket. "We'll talk about it after we get your medical supplies"

Passengers began to disembark from the train; Horace's head was whipping from one side to the other, watching both ends for the first glimpse of his little girl. He caught a glimmer of rich auburn hair and raced towards the engine. Samantha emerged from the carriage. Catching sight of her father she pulled her hand out of the grip of the lady she was with and threw herself off the train into his arms "Oh Papa"

Horace held her close to him, drinking in her familiar scent while marvelling at how much she had grown "Hey beautiful girl"

"Mr Bing"

Horace looked up at the severe woman who had accompanied Samantha, she was dressed in a tight grey travelling suit, her black hair pulled into a tight bun that sat rigidly beneath the hat that was perched on the top of her angular head "Miss Wyke" she extended her hand coolly "I am Samantha's au pair"

"Au pair?" Horace took her hand and shook it softly, surprised by the woman's strange grip.

"Yes" the woman chose not to explain the meaning to him "I believe the telegram informed you I would be accompanying Samantha on her trip"

Horace looked at her confused "It just said ya name"

Miss Wyke glared at him as if she were looking at an imbecile; her tone dropped coolly "I would appreciate if you would arrange for transportation for Samantha and I to The Springs Chateau and Health resort"

"What?" Horace straightened up his brow creasing with confusion.

"Mr Gibson has arranged for us to stay at the resort"

"Hello Samantha" Michaela interrupted the conversation that she could see was rapidly turning ugly "Dr Quinn" Samantha smiled politely at her "How are you?"

"I'm very well" she smiled at Miss Wyke "Dr Michaela Quinn" she held her hand out.

Miss Wyke gave her a haughty look before daintily taking Michaela's hand and shaking it curtly. Michaela took the woman's actions in her stride "Horace, we were going to go to Grace's for some lunch, perhaps you and Samantha would care to join us, and Miss Wyke of course?"

"Mr Gibson has paid for room and board at the resort" Miss Wyke answered before Horace had a chance to answer

"Oh I'm sure you are hungry after your trip, and Grace does make the best pie in all of Colorado" Michaela smiled, determined to get a pleasant response from the woman who she was beginning to find infuriating.

"I would like some of Miss Grace's pie" Samantha said quietly "I do remember it was quite delightful"

Michaela reached for her hand, amused by the little girl's rather adult choice of phrase "Then you shall have some" she looked up at Horace who stood looking bewildered "Horace?"

"I...need" he looked down the platform, seemingly aware all of a sudden that he needed to be doing his job.

"I got that" Sully told him placing supportive hand on his shoulder

Horace smiled and shook himself taking charge of the situation "I think some pie sounds great, Samantha and I would love ta join ya Dr Mike"

* * *

Michaela assisted Katie into a seat before carefully lowering herself into the chair beside her; Horace did likewise settling his four year old beside Katie. He courteously pulled the chair out for Miss Wyke before moving to sit opposite Samantha

"That woman is carrying her child on her back" Miss Wyke whispered shocked at the sight of Grace with Freddie in a sling on her back.

Michaela smiled as she leant back, watching her friend as she scurried around the kitchen area, her seven week old son strapped to her back, his wild curly hair poking out the top of the sling. It had proved impossible to keep Grace away from her work for any length of time and Freddie had taken to the sling like a duck to water, loving the closeness to his mother and the fact that he had constantly changing sights and smells kept him constantly entertained as he explored the new world around him.

Leaving the sour woman to gaze disdainfully around the open air cafe Michaela turned her attention to the two little girls seated at the table, her own, carefully repositioning her doll's blanket, Samantha watching her almost jealously.

"She's very beautiful" Samantha struck up the conversation.

Katie nodded in agreement "Sse Flo" she positioned her doll so that Samantha could see the face properly "See fom my Gamma for kismas"

"You are so lucky" Samantha stared longingly at the doll "Father Henry does not allow me to have dolls"

"Father Henry?" Michaela repeated

"My mother's husband" Samantha told her in a very grown up manner

"Myra got remarried" Horace told Michaela sadly, he frowned as he realised what Samantha had said "You ain't allowed dolls?"

"No she is not" Miss Wyke told him caustically "Mr Gibson only permits educational items in the house"

"What about her Ma don't she allow it?" Horace bleated,

"Mother agrees with father Henry" Samantha told him sadly "But I do have a zoetrope,"

Horace stared at her open mouthed, shocked and dismayed by what he had discovered.

"Mr Gibson, wants Samantha to be properly prepared for when she goes away for school" Miss Wyke informed him

"Goes away" Horace whispered weakly

The table fell into silence; Michaela shifted awkwardly trying to catch Grace's attention. Preston walked past and doffed his hat in acknowledgement to Michaela, he continued on before pausing and returning to the silent table.

"Why Miss Samantha you do look grown up" he smiled widely at the little girl, "Do you remember me?"

"Yes Mr Lodge" Samantha told him politely "Are you well?"

"Well, quite the proper grown up lady" he smile widened "Yes Samantha I am most excellent, and I trust the same can be said for you and your travelling partner. Preston Lodge" he extended his hand to Miss Wyke

"The manager of the Chateau" Miss Wyke stated "Excellent! Samantha and I need transportation to your establishment"

A glimmer of surprise passed across Preston's face but he recovered well straightening up and placing his hands behind his back, he glanced swiftly at Horace's distraught face and shook his head "I'm afraid that is not possible," he told Miss Wyke, with his best and most sincere smile "Unfortunately the chateau cannot cater for children under the age of ten" his words earned him a surprised look from Michaela and Horace who had never heard this rule before "I am most apologetic, whomever took the booking obviously did not realise the age of Miss Samantha, I will of course issue a full refund." He dipped his head in a bow "Michaela, Horace"

Michaela watched with an admiring smile as Preston strolled away, giving the man a knowing look as he turned nonchalantly and winked

"Well" Miss Wyke exclaimed in anger

"You are more than welcome to stay at my clinic" Michaela offered, seizing Preston's surprising lead "Horace too, that way you and Samantha can be under the same roof"

"Oh yes please" Samantha called happily "Oh Miss Wyke please may we?"

"There appears to be little alternative" the au pair reluctantly accepted

"Oh thank you Dr Quinn" Samantha slid from her seat and rushed to hug Michaela happily before moving onto hug Horace "Oh Papa I get to stay with you after all, I got my birthday wish"

* * *

The grating of wood moving across wood woke him, Sully turned towards the noise knowing what he would find. Michaela sat in the rocking chair in front of the fire; her head leant back in thought, her hands clasped around her belly. He rose and moved to kneel beside her, watching the rippling motion visible beneath her shift as the baby moved violently within her. Tenderly he stroked the shaking mass, silently communicating with his unborn child, asking it to give its Ma a rest. Surprisingly it seemed to work and the baby settled down under his tender movements, its movements reducing to a series of gentle kicks against his hand. Michaela gave a sigh of relief and raised her head to look at him "All that wrigglin' no wonder ya can't get to sleep" he lowered his head and kissed the rise of her belly.

"That's not it" Michaela ran her fingers through his hair

"Is it about me goin' away?" he asked nervously, she had appeared distant for most of the evening, and almost silent since he had told her about the new work request "I don't gotta go"

"Yes you do Sully" she whispered, curling his long hair through her fingers "We need the money, especially as I won't be working for a few months"

"It will be the last time I go before the baby is born" he kissed her stomach again, "Someone needs ta be here to tie ya shoes for you" she blushed slightly "hey" he tenderly stroked the swell containing their child "It's a good thing remember"

She pushed the chair forward and craned her neck forward as far as she could, Sully came the rest of the way, giving her a hungry kiss, one that told her no matter what she looked like he still wanted her. She withdrew and went back to playing with a curled tendril of his hair "I'm so glad I married a man like you,"

"Like me?" he gazed up at her with puppy dog eyes

"You" she amended "I'm so glad I married you"

"And I'm glad I married you" he rose to kiss her sweetly. "Now let's get you comfortable"

She snorted in derision "Alright point taken. Let's get ya into bed" she allowed him to help her to her feet and slowly they crossed to the bed. He supported her as she lowered herself onto the mattress with a soft grunt. Slowly she lifted her tired legs up onto the bed and leant back, thoroughly exhausted by the simple movements she had just made. Sully quickly sought about making her more comfortable, bringing the extra pillows up on the bed so that she could arrange them in a way that supported her

"Sully" Michaela spoke as he fluffed her pillow to better support her back "Would you ever consider hiring an au pair for the children?"

"No chance" Sully frowned at the thought "Is this because of that Miss Wyke creature?"

"Creature?" Michaela repeated

"She ain't exactly normal human is she?" Sully muttered

"She certainly doesn't appear to care much for children" Michaela rubbed her belly thoughtfully

"Strange job to go into if ya don't like kids, nannyin'" Sully smiled

Michaela sighed "Imagine not allowing a child something as simple as a doll" she glanced towards the cot containing Katie "Look at how much enjoyment Katie has got from Flo" she sighed "what type of a man must this Mr Gibson be Sully, sending a child as young as Samantha away to boarding school"

"Probably thinks he's doing right by her" Sully told her simply "Ya comfy?" he changed the subject.

Michaela glanced down at her body and sighed "As I can be"

"Anything I can do ta make ya feel better?" he asked, without waiting for a response he carefully cupped one of her feet and began to massage it firmly, she let out a gentle moan. "Is that alright?" he asked carefully massaging the ball of her foot.

"It feels wonderful" she dropped her head back against the wooden bed frame and sighed contently, relieved that her foot no longer ached. She remained in the position as Sully moved to her other foot.

"Thank you Sully" she whispered as he finished, her eyes heavy with the promise of sleep.

"No problem" He vaulted over her and found his position on the bed "You try get some sleep" he lay down on his back and waited patiently as she began shifting about trying to arrange the extra pillows in a way that she would feel comfortable. Finally she seemed to find a suitable arrangement and became still. Sully took this as a cue and lowered his lamp, sinking down the last few inches to lay flat on the bed. His eyes jerked open as he heard the snuffling noise of Michaela trying to stifle her tears. "Michaela?" he twisted and propped himself up on his elbow,

"I hate this" she whimpered and hit the pillow beneath her stomach.

"Hey come on now, it's alright," Sully reached to dry her tears.

"I can't hug you" she blurted, shifting slightly.

"What?"

"I feel most comfortable on my left side but all these pillows, there's a barrier between us, I can't hug you" she sniffed

"Hey come on" he curved his neck to kiss her "You being comfy is important, besides it's easily fixable"

She gave a shuddering breath "It is?"

"Yeah" he sat up "We switch sides" he reached for the pillow she was resting her bent leg on and brought it over to his side of the bed "Here let me help you" he rose for the second time that night and assisted her in shifting her weight across the bed. Newly positioned, Michaela went about the process of arranging the pillows. She finished and gave an exhausted sigh. Seeing her finally situated Sully rolled himself over to spoon up against her, his strong arm reaching over her body to gently stroke her belly. "There" he whispered lightly kissing her "Problem solved"

"You're so good to me" she whispered back, wriggling slightly in the unfamiliar groove in the mattress.

"an' you're giving me the greatest gift by havin' our baby" he kissed her gently again "yer doin' all the hard work" he smiled as he heard her soft snore, pleased that she was finally comfortable enough to sleep "Night Caela" he rested his face on the silky texture of her hair.

* * *

Horace woke with a start at the sound of the door opening, for a moment he looked around disorientated, trying to remember what had happened that would warrant him requiring Michaela's care. He had been in this room too many times to count and while the bed was comfortable he didn't want to be sick again.

"Papa" Samantha's tiny voice made him recall the reason for him being in the recovery room and he sat up abruptly.

"Samantha?" he tried to make out his little girl in the gloom.

"May I join you?" her request was quiet, whispered and sounded almost frightened.

"Course" Horace held out his arms, his eyes still adjusting to the light, Samantha stepped into his grip and he lifted her into the bed "You alright?"

Samantha nestled in beside him "Yes Papa" she pulled his arm around her for warmth "I just wanted to be near you, I think Miss Wyke will be always around"

"Will she get mad at ya for coming in here?" Horace asked tentatively, curious and afraid at the same time to find out how his little girl was living

"Probably" Samantha whispered "But her eyes are covered so believe I am alright"

"Does she get mad at ya a lot?"

"No because I always do as I'm told" Samantha looked up at him

"Do ya ever get to have fun?" Horace asked hopefully

"I had fun at the wedding" Samantha told him with a smile "I was a flower girl and I got to dance and I wore a pretty dress"

Horace closed his eyes, not wanting to think about Myra wedding to another man "What about friends?"

"I don't have any friends" Samantha told him "Just Miss Alice, she's the servant who does my clothes for me, but Miss Wyke does not like it when I talk to her"

"What about ya Ma? Ya see her don't you" Horace bit his lip, struggling with the thought of his little girl all alone.

"Sometimes, she's very busy" Samantha sighed sadly "She works on the woman's committee, they arrange all the parties that raise money for the orphanages, it's a very important job. I like it when she reads to me, if Miss Wyke lets her"

"She don't let ya Ma read to you" Horace sat bolt upright, he could feel his anger rise, it was so unjust, his little girl having to live like that.

"I do not believe Miss Wyke likes my mother very much" Samantha sat up, and moved positioning herself so she was sat straddling Horace's legs, and facing him "She said that Ma was still gutter trash, but I'm not supposed to know about that" she cast a worried look at the door "It was very wrong for her to say that"

"Yeah it was" Horace agreed, shocked that Myra would put herself and their daughter in such a dreadful situation.

"I got your birthday gift" Samantha changed the subject "I liked it very much"

"Were ya allowed to paint with them?" Horace asked nervously, worried that Samantha had not been able to enjoy the paints and paper he had sent

"Oh yes" Samantha smiled "Miss Wyke lets me paint with them at the weekend, she insists I use the set that Grandma Gibson gave to me during the week as there are more colours"

"Oh" Horace's head dipped dejectedly

"Papa"

"Yeah Samantha"

"This is a better gift though" Samantha told him happily as she shuffled closer "I much prefer hugs to paints" she hugged him tightly but briefly "I had better get back to bed though" she quickly slithered from the bed "Good night Papa, I love you"

* * *

"Easy there Horace" Loren griped as Horace forced his way through the mercantile door

Horace staggered to a stop buffeting against Hank who elbowed him angrily "Easy"

"Loren, ya got any dolls" Horace asked breathlessly, ignoring Hank.

"Dolls" Loren repeated "What do ya want with dolls?"

"Samantha" Horace told him, scanning the store in case he had missed some magically appeared doll display "I want to get her one"

"Nah, I don't have dolls," Loren reached for a catalogue "I can order ya one though"

Horace snatched the catalogue from him and started scanning the pages "How long would that take?"

"Couple weeks"

"Couple weeks" Horace stared at him in horror "I gotta get it now, she leaves on Wensdee"

Hank elbowed Horace again "You wanna take my money Loren, or is this case free. I gotta a train ta catch"

"Free! Course it ain't free" Loren scoffed and immediately held his hand out for payment "Where you goin to?" he asked once the note was in his hand.

Hank grinned slyly "Denver, gonna pick up some new girls, ones with special talents" he raised his eyebrows suggestively

"Special talents" Loren looked interested

"Loren" Horace whined dragging the store keeper back to his predicament.

"Sorry Horace" Loren pulled the catalogue from Horace's hands preventing him from ripping the booklet to shreds "Only place that keeps dolls are toy stores or those department stores. So do ya wanna order one or not?"

"Cheer up Horace" Hank needled the taller man "By sound of it Little Samantha can get all the dolls she wants with the amount of cash Myra's new man is rollin' in" he made to leave the store, but Horace's weak voice made him pause

"She ain't allowed them, he won't let her, says it ain't educational"

* * *

"Good morning Miss Wyke" Michaela greeted the sour woman as she entered the side room that doubled as a storage area, she was surprised to see the woman stood in her store room and opened her mouth to query the reason for her being there.

"Good morning Dr Quinn" Samantha's cheerful face popped up from behind a pile of neatly stacked fracture boxes.

"Samantha what are you doing?" Michaela asked curiously.

"I wanted to do something nice for you" Samantha explained climbing to her feet "So I thought I might help tidy your cupboard" she looked shyly at the floor "I walked in here by accident, I hope you don't mind"

Michaela shook her head "I don't mind, though I do have another task which would be more helpful"

"You do" Samantha rushed forward her little face eager

"I have to make a house call to a special patient and I would be most appreciative if you could accompany me" Michaela touched the child's cheek

"House call?" Miss Wyke hissed disdainfully.

Michaela prevented herself from frowning "Yes, the Mayor's wife, she is convalescing after a rather serious accident"

Katie scampered into the room "go see Miss Tweesa now" she rushed up to Samantha and hugged her somewhat roughly "I wead her"

"You read" Miss Wyke looked at the small child incredulously.

This time Michaela could not prevent herself from scowling "Yes" her own voice rising to match the tone of the acidic Miss Wyke "she does. Now Samantha you are most welcome to come with us" she made it clear that the invitation did not include the au pair, she held out her hands for the two small children. The two girls each took a hand and Michaela strode from the room with mild anger.

Ensuring that the girls were appropriately attired for their stroll across the street, Michaela led them to the barber shop

"Good morning Jake" Michaela greeted him politely "How is Teresa this morning?"

"Looking forward to some readin' with Katie girl here" Jake tweaked the little girl's nose.

Michaela smiled it had evidently been a good night, she smiled warmly at Jake. Katie having made the trip daily for the past week moved to the steps and began to scramble up them. Michaela followed her, somewhat arduously climbing the stairs to enter the Slicker's small living quarters.

Jake in the time between Teresa's injury and his wife being able to return home had painted their bedroom bright white, in order that he could see any and all dirt that may collect and possibly harm his wife. The affect was rather startling, and it made the dark bed stand out so much more. Teresa looked up as they entered, her face brightening as she saw who it was.

"HOWLA" Katie called loudly as she entered the room.

"Hola, Senorita Katie" Teresa greeted the young child warmly, she caught sight of Samantha standing nervously in the doorway "You have a friend with you"

"S'mantha" Katie told her bounding towards the chair beside the bed.

Michaela gently guided the little girl into the room "Samantha is Horace's daughter, she is visiting from St Louis"

"It is a pleasure to meet you" Teresa smiled warmly, conscious that the little girl was staring in awe at the bed and the space where her leg should be "Will you help Katie read the story that Senor Slicker has taken from the library?" she held up a book for Samantha to see.

Michaela smiled, despite the fact that she had told Miss Wyke that Katie could read, in reality the little girl was only starting to learn, she could pick out certain words, such as dog, or her name but was certainly not capable of picking up a book and reading it verbatim. Katie's version of reading involved looking at the picture plate and creating a story around what she saw as opposed to what she read.

Samantha stepped in closer and gave a squeal of delight "Aesop's fables"

"You have read these?" Teresa asked, her own face reflecting the joy of the little girl's.

"My mother reads them to me" Samantha joined Katie on the chair.

Teresa handed her the book "It would very much like it if you read some to me"

The girls occupied, Michaela set to work, carefully removing the bandages around Teresa's right leg, examining the burns and redressing in colloidal silver soaked bandages before moving to check the healing wound on her left leg, all the while Samantha's sweet voice filled the room as she very eloquently read the short tales in the book.

As Michaela finished her work, Jake crept into the room. He frowned as he watched Michaela set another bottle of the colloidal silver on the nightstand "We can't afford all this silver cordial stuff" he whispered

"You don't need to be able to afford it" Michaela told him, she patted his hand gently "The council agreed that the town would accept the cost of the medicines Teresa requires, and I am giving my time freely"

"The council?" Jake looked at her strangely "How'd you decide that without the Mayor"

"It was unanimous decision Jake" Michaela smiled kindly at him "Take comfort in the fact that the medicines appear to be working, her left leg is almost healed, and her right is looking much better"

Jake sighed slightly and neared the bed. Teresa smiled up at him, her face slightly damp from the tears that she had cried silently as Michaela had redressed her wounds. "Listen, does not Samantha read well?"

Jake nodded "You read real good"

"Weal Good" Katie agreed, emphatically nodding her head,

Samantha blushed and held out the book for Teresa "Thank you for letting me read to you"

"You are most welcome" Teresa accepted the book back with a smile

"I like reading to others" Samantha climbed down from the chair and reached out to help Katie, Michaela crossed to help them, she stroked the top of the sweet child's head tenderly, Samantha seemed to grow an inch with the touch, "It's so much better then reading by yourself"

* * *

Horace looked up disinterested as the first train of the day rolled into the station, slowly he made his way down to collect the mail bag, for a Saturday it was fairly empty. He sidestepped the giggling young women who exited the train just before Hank and made his way up to his office to sort the post.  
He turned at a sharp knock at the window, seeing Hank he frowned "What do you want?" he glanced down the platform to the gaggle of women waiting for Hank "I ain't interested in what ya selling"

"I ain't selling anything" Hank muttered, he dipped his hand into his bag and pulled out a box wrapped in brown paper "Got something for ya in Denver"

"What could you have got me?" Horace spat bitterly at the other man.

Hank slid the box across the table "For ya kid, she oughta be able to have a doll"

"What?" Horace stared at the box as if it would explode.

"It's a doll" Hank raised his eyebrows, indicating that he was getting frustrated "3$ 21c" he flicked the box again

Horace reached for his pocket scrabbling to pull out two worn notes "I only got $2 on me"

Hanks snatched the notes "I 'spect the rest soon as" he gave Horace a lackadaisical smile "Pleasure doin' business with ya"

* * *

Michaela shuffled her charts as she completed them and placed her hand on the desk in order that she could rise, with Sully gone for work, and Brian helping Dorothy, the thought of spending time at home alone hadn't been appealing, so instead despite the fact that it was Saturday, she and Katie had ventured to the clinic, so that she could complete her paperwork and Katie could play with Samantha. Michaela jumped slightly as Horace raced into the clinic, "Horace?"

"Where's Samantha and Miss Wyke?" he asked her scanning the empty clinic.

Michaela relaxed "Miss Wyke is at the store and Samantha is upstairs in..."

Horace spun round without giving her enough time to finish her sentence; quickly he mounted the stairs his long legs taking them two at a time. He found Samantha and Katie playing with Flo in the room Samantha was using as her bedroom.

The two children looked up mildly alarmed at his sudden intrusion, but Horace ignored their looks of surprise, dropping to his knees besides Samantha.

"Papa?" Samantha whispered curiously. Horace thrust the box at her, her young face lit up with excitement and she sank to the floor to open his gift. The paper dispensed with she let out a cry of delight "Oh Papa's she's beautiful"

Horace peered into the box, seeing for the first time the doll that Hank had chosen for his daughter. It was as Samantha had stated beautiful, with a meticulously painted china face, which in his mind had a hint of Myra about it and rich auburn hair to match Samantha's own.

Samantha looked beside herself with glee as he reached forward to help her lift the soft bodied doll from its box "She looks like Flo" Samantha brought her doll alongside Katie's to compare.

"What see calwed?" Katie asked admiring the pretty dress that Samantha's doll wore.

"Papa does she have a name?" Samantha looked at him expectantly

"Nope" Horace shook his head, ecstatic at the response the doll was getting. He looked up as Michaela walked into the room.

"Dr Quinn" Samantha called happily "Look what Papa got for me"

Michaela gave the doll a quick appraisal "She's lovely"

Samantha suddenly straightened "I know what her name is" she gave a beaming smile "Katie"

Katie's mouth dropped open "Aftah me?" she pointed at herself

Samantha nodded her head and wrapped her short arms around Katie's torso "That way I'll always have my best friend with me"

Michaela bit her lip to prevent herself from tearing up, and a quick glance at Horace told her he was experiencing the same problem of trying to prevent the tears from running down his face, as he dealt with the fact that his innocent little girl was having her childhood snatched from her. Michaela sighed sadly, Samantha craved the company of children so much that she had latched onto Katie the first and only child that she had met during her stay.

* * *

Miss Wyke carefully pulled the outer layer of Samantha's dress over the child's head. She huffed as she noticed the thin layer of dust already covering the fine fabric. Disdainfully she brushed the dress down with her hand determined that Samantha would be appropriately attired, they may be in the back of beyond but she would be damned if her standards slipped because of it, so the child would be dressed for supper even if it was in an open air cafe served by a woman with a child strapped to her back.

Samantha dismounted from the chair she had been standing on "Thank you Miss Wyke"

The au pair acknowledged her politeness and moved to retrieve a book, "Some quiet reading before we attend supper"

"Yes Miss Wyke" Samantha took the book and settled herself in a chair.

The child suitably occupied the au pair set to tidying the room, she could scarcely believe the state the room was in, but then considering that Samantha had been playing with the unruly child of the doctor it was little wonder. She bent down to collect a stray block, an infant's toy. Her long finger brushed against something tucked just beneath the bed and she reached for it. Straightening up she found the item to be a doll. She gave a tut of displeasure and dropped the doll carelessly on the bed,

"Be careful" Samantha had pushed herself upright in the chair, her face alarmed at the treatment of the toy.

"That child should learn to take better care of her toys, so I shall treat it with the casual disregard that she does" Miss Wyke spat, dropping another found block onto the bed, the wooden cube bouncing dangerously close to the doll's fragile face.

"It's not Katie's it's mine" Samantha pushed herself out of the chair.

"Don't be foolish child"

"My Papa got it for me" the little girl reached to rescue the doll from bed, tenderly cradling it in her hands

Miss Wyke reached to grab the doll capturing it by its foot and attempting to take it from her grasp "Give me the doll"

"No" Samantha tightened her grip "She's mine"

"You are not permitted to own such frivolous items" Miss Wyke tried to tug the doll from Samantha "Let it go"

"NO" Samantha screamed.

"Samantha Gibson" Miss Wyke chastised the child

"I am not Samantha Gibson, I'm Samantha BING" as she shouted the word Bing the little girl stamped her foot down on the au pair's foot, caught by surprise the woman released her grip on the doll allowing Samantha to take complete control of the toy again. With her doll in her arms the little girl rushed for the door.

* * *

Michaela drawn by the shrieking from upstairs opened the internal door of the clinic, she as startled by Samantha as the little girl barrelled down the hallway and out of the clinic. "Samantha?" Prevented from chasing after the little girl by the fact she had Katie in the clinic with her, Michaela turned to look up the stairs, Miss Wyke was walking slowly and sinisterly down the staircase, her whole demeanour oozing anger "What's going on?" Michaela asked

"I believe your child has been a corrupting influence on Samantha" Miss Wyke hissed at her.

"How dare you speak about my child like that" Michaela could no longer hold her anger against the odious woman in front of her "You have no right to speak about Katie in that way, nor treat Samantha the way that you do, Samantha who may I point out to you is a four year old child," she was suddenly aware of Katie's hand on her skirt, "Katie go inside"

Katie stepped round in front of Michaela, her little arms folded, her face thunderous "you mean"

"You have raised a spoilt insolent child" Miss Wyke spat at Michaela as she turned to leave.

Michaela's mouth dropped open, her skin was prickling with anger, "You..." she struggled to find a word in which to defend Katie, but she was too overcome with rage to even think straight.

"You leave Mama alone" Katie strode forward not understanding the reason for the raised voices but understanding the need to protect her mother.

Miss Wyke raised her hand intent on striking Katie for her behaviour, intent on dishing the punishment that the child's mother so obviously needed to dispense.

"Don't" an angry voice sounded from behind her, Miss Wyke turned and came face to face with Cynthia, the seamstresses face was murderous, "if you lay one finger on that child" Cynthia's Scottish accent became stronger and stronger with each word, her own arm raised to indicate she would strike the woman if she so much as touched Katie.

Miss Wyke lowered her hand "I need to fetch Samantha" she rudely shoved passed Cynthia, stepping out onto the darkening street.

"Michaela?" Cynthia rushed to help as Michaela lowered herself to the floor to hold Katie in a tight embrace "Are you Ok?"

"That woman" Michaela stammered her voice shaking with anger and shock.

Katie tenderly stroked her mother's arm "Dere dere, its alwight"

"What was that about?" Cynthia asked crouching beside the mother and child.

Michaela shook her head unable to answer, her breath coming in gasps as she struggled to control her breathing, she looked up as a notion occurring to her "Oh Samantha"

* * *

Samantha ran as fast as she could, she held onto her doll as tightly as she could, frightened to even look behind her in case Miss Wyke was following her, she needed to get to her Papa, he would keep the doll safe, he would let her keep it. She tightened her grip and lowered her head, barrelling forward to safety

Horace looked up as the last train of the day sounded its whistle to signal its approach, he gave a sigh of relief, the day had been long and boring especially when he could have been sharing it with Samantha. He moved to strike the last time off the blackboard, as the chalk struck the painted surface he caught the sound of her voice, her little frightened voice calling out to him. He turned, amazed to see his little girl running towards him.

"Samantha" he called making her look up.

She looked up at the sound of her father calling her voice, "Papaaaaaa" she screamed as her foot came into contact with the hard metal rail of the track. Her doll flew from her arms, landing on the other rail as she came crashing down on the wooden sleepers. She howled in agony, writhing to reach her hurting ankle. She rolled over startled by the whistling noise of the train, the screeching of the brakes as the driver attempted to stop the train earlier then he normally would. Samantha screamed in terror raising her hands over her head. Suddenly she felt someone lifting her off the tracks and she was thrust into another pair of arms, familiar arms, her Papa's arms. Safe, she looked up, "No" her voice caught in her throat as she watched the train lumber over her precious doll, shattering the face beneath its immense weight "Katie, Katie" she sobbed forcing her head into her Papa's chest.

Horace finally found the ability to breathe again and looked up, he didn't recognise the man who had pulled Samantha from the tracks; the young black man was being congratulated by all those who had rushed to help when the saw her fall. Horace looked down to assess his little girl's condition, her knees were bleeding, and her arm looked awkwardly shaped, and was swelling. Quickly he rose to his feet and turned to Samantha's rescuer "Thank you" was all he was able to say.

Aware that Samantha was sobbing he started to move darting behind the train and heading for Dr Mike.

* * *

Michaela assessed the sobbing child, her arm was broken and it appeared she had a sprained ankle, but the poor child was beside herself, crying so hard it was hampering her breathing.

"Hold her up Horace" Michaela instructed, she applied a compress to each of the little girl's cut knees and began to remove Samantha's arm from her jacket.

Samantha wailed, the physical pain detracting from the pain she felt from losing her doll. "Katie" she whispered with a shuddering breath, leaning into her father as Michaela carefully pulled her arm from her sleeve.

Not having heard Samantha properly Michaela leaned in "I'm sorry sweetheart" this time she caught the little girl's whimpered cry of 'Katie' Michaela glanced towards her little girl, who was sat watching the proceedings wide eyed "Katie's right over there"

Samantha howled louder, huge tears of despair rolling down her reddened cheeks

"Oo have Flo"

Samantha gave a shuddering breath as she saw the doll appear by her side.

Michaela looked down at her daughter in surprise, watching astonished as Katie offered her most prized possession to the distraught little girl "Have Flo" Katie repeated

Samantha stopped crying, and shifted her position so that she could see Katie better "She's yours"

"Have her" Katie insisted, still holding out her much loved doll. With a bit of effort she pushed the doll onto the examination table "See make ya bettah"

Samantha tentatively took the doll "But you love her"

"I get weal one to wove" Katie told the little girl, reaching up to pat Michaela's belly "Flo needs good home"

Samantha snuffled slightly before giving Katie a beaming smile "You're the best person I ever met"

Katie grinned back "Tanks" she turned to Michaela "Mama me up, I hewlp s'manta be bwave"

Michaela crouched down beside her daughter, gently touching Katie's chin with her thumb and forefinger "You're a very special little girl"

Katie kissed her mother lovingly on the cheek "I yours, course spesal,"

Michaela shook her head with a smile and carefully straightened up lifting Katie so that she could deposit her on the bed beside Samantha. Katie positioned herself beside Samantha and began lightly stroking the other girl's auburn hair, her voice making barely audible cooing noises to calm Samantha.

The door opened and Brian poked his head round the door "Miss Wyke wants to know what's going on, she says she needs to inform Mr Gibson"

"He don't need ta know nothing" Horace frowned.

"Ma?" Brian noticed, Michaela's dark expression "You alright?"

"That woman is not allowed in this clinic" Michaela informed him in a clipped tone.

"See bad lady" Katie asserted

"What happened?" Brian asked and moved closer to the table

"See mean to Mama" Katie answered for Michaela "Miss Sintia make her go way"

"Dr Mike?" Horace looked at her nervously

"It's fine Horace, perhaps you should wire Myra" Michaela smiled unconvincingly "I'll bandage Samantha's ankle and splint her arm"

Horace nodded wordlessly, casting a worried look at Samantha and then Michaela he slipped out from the clinic.

Outside the air was cool, the closing hours of February hinting at the approaching warmth of springtime. He walked slowly, the fear he had been feeling as he watched Samantha fall onto the rails drifting away, all things considered, a twisted ankle and a broken arm weren't too bad, especially when he considered the potential catastrophic injuries she could have had. Horace shuddered at the thought. He continued his walk up the street; the streets were quietening now, the town beginning to close for sleep.

As he passed the livery he knew he had been spotted. He paused and waited for her, setting his face into an expression of anger, he spoke before she had a chance to demand an update. "You ain't ta go nowhere near Samantha" he folded his arms as Miss Wyke stepped beside him "And don't go near Dr Mike neither, I don't know what ya done to her but she's real upset"

"Mr Gibson..." Miss Wyke began

"Ain't her Pa. I am. Samantha is my baby girl" Horace interrupted "And Myra ain't gutter trash" he noted the look of alarm that crossed the au pair's face "little ears Miss Wyke." Sighing he lowered his arms "I don't want you anywhere near my baby girl and the only person who can change my decision is her Ma"

"This is..." Miss Wyke began to protest, clearly nervous about what Samantha had told him.

"Final" Horace informed her "Now if you excuse me I need ta go wire her Ma" he took a step towards the station. "Oh yeah" he looked back at the odious Miss Wyke "I'll get ya stuff taken to the Gold Nugget, Dr Mike don't want ya in her clinic"

* * *

Horace watched the train pull in to the station with rising curiosity, in the two days since Samantha's accident he had plenty of time to wonder what type of a man Mr Henry Gibson was, it had surprised him when he received Myra's wire back telling him that 'they' would be arriving on the earliest possible train, he hadn't expected him to come.

Myra was the first person to exit from the train, Horace had to gulp back his still present desire for her. She looked like perfection, dressed to the nines in a dress that probably cost more than he earned in six months, her hair was styled in what he assumed was the latest fashion she just glowed, she was happy, despite her worry for her daughter he could tell that she was happy. She saw him and raced from the train to him.

"Horace" her high voice greeted him "How is she?"

"She's fine" he told her simply "Dr Mike's takin' real good care of her"

"I would expect nothing less" Myra smiled "How are you?"

Before Horace had a chance to answer they were joined by the man who was evidently her husband. Horace scanned him, Gibson was older then Myra, perhaps the same age as him, the clothes were impeccable, the posture rigid, at first glance he looked kind and trustworthy but awkward to be stood on the dusty station, and the way he looked at Myra, Horace could see the love he felt for his new wife. Horace frowned, this was not the image of the man that he created, the man he had created the one who hired that odious witch to care for his daughter, who refused her dolls and planned to send her away was severe and mean not this unassuming gentleman in front of him.

The man took Horace's pause as an opportunity to introduce himself "Henry Gibson" he extended a hand "I'm pleased to meet you"

Horace automatically shook the offered, after a second he dropped it, like some dead fish he scowled slightly "Ya need to explain what's been goin on"

"I'm afraid I don't understand" Henry adjusted his shoulders trying to appear larger when faced with Horace's impressive stature

"Ya need to explain, that woman, that vicious witch. Myra how can ya let someone like that look after our baby girl" Horace stared into the eyes of his ex wife

"Miss Wyke is one of the most highly regarded au pairs in St Louis" Henry informed him "Her references were glowing, and I assure you not once has she been referred to as a 'vicious witch'"

"Well she is" Horace asserted "She won't let Samantha be a child, and Samantha told me what she called you, and she done something to Dr Mike, she won't even let her back into the clinic, and you know Dr Mike, she'll help anyone give everyone a chance," he sighed "and why are ya sendin her away"

Myra looked from her ex husband to her new husband and back again her thin shoulders sagging under the onslaught of Horace's outburst "It's for school Horace, she'll be going to one of the best schools..."

"I don't care about that" Horace interrupted "Let her stay with me"

"What?" Myra looked up at him surprise

"If ya sendin' her away why can't she come live with me" Horace pleaded, staring at her imploring his ex wife to say yes.

Myra looked at her hands, silent tears rolling down her face. Henry placed a hand on her shoulder, awkward but supportive, so obviously in love with her yet so uncomfortable with the situation he had found himself in, step children and ex husbands clearly something he had never considered "We want to give Samantha the best that we can, I'm in the position to be able to provide her with the best education that…"

"What about love?" Horace interrupted "What about being a child? Ya won't even let her have a doll"

Henry looked shocked for a moment "I never said she couldn't have one, just that her time was best spent on educational toys"

"But sending her away, she's four" Horace bleated, his eyes fixed on Myra

"The school is really good Horace" Myra told him weakly "And she'll be with friends, I want her to be happy Horace, not cooped up all day with au pairs"

"Why cause ya too busy with ladies committee?" Horace spat at her

"It's my job Horace"

"It is a very good school" Henry tried reasoning

"We got a good school here, Colleen got into Medical school from it. Samantha would be with friends here, she would be happy" Horace crouched down beside her, "Please Myra, please let her stay with me, don't let her be raised by strangers"

* * *

Samantha smiled as Horace entered the recovery room, Michaela closed the book that she had been quietly reading to the two little girls on the bed.

"Mama" Samantha squealed as Myra walked in behind Horace, the short woman raced to the bed and gathered her daughter in her arms

"Oh Samantha," she observed Samantha's splinted arm "Are you alright?"

"I broke my arm" Samantha indicated her bandaged limb "and Katie got smashed by the train" she added sadly, Myra scanned her eyes over Michaela's daughter before casting a mystified look at Horace.

"Her doll" Horace clarified "I bought her a doll"

"She was so pretty" Samantha told her sadly, carefully she lifted Flo out from beneath the covers between her and Katie "but Katie let me have Flo, so I'll always have a friend"

Myra bit her lip "Samantha, honey, me and your Pa have been talking" she glanced up at Horace "If you would like instead of going to boarding school, you could come and live with your father, go to school in Colorado Springs"

Samantha's mouth dropped open, she glanced from one parent to the next completely bewildered by what she had been told,

"Only if ya want to" Horace repeated to his shock little girl "You would still go to ya Ma's in the holidays"

"I would live with you" Samantha whispered

"Yeah" Horace softly stroked her arm

"And if I didn't I would go to Boarding School" she looked at Myra

"Or we could get you a home tutor" Myra explained.

Puzzled the little girl turned to Katie her eyes falling on how Katie was gripping the dolls hand, still attached to the toy even though she had given it up. "I think I would like to stay with Papa" she looked concerned at her mother "That way I can share Flo with Katie, so she doesn't have to give her away"

"We Sare" Katie agreed cuddling Flo to her chest

Samantha smiled "And I'll always be near my best friend" she struggled to her knees and wobbled slightly to reach her mother. Myra pulled her daughter onto her lap and smiled at her through tear filled eyes "And I can come see you whenever I want?" Samantha asked

"Of Course" Myra kissed her gently.

Silently Samantha raised her good arm out to Horace, looping it round his neck so that her parent's heads where pulled in close to each other, her cheeks lightly touching theirs "I love you"


	10. Two Blue, One White

_Hey faithful readers, Chapter 10, first off an apology for the end part, I know it' short but I could not find anywhere the specific details of the Cheyenne part (cryptic enough for you) therefore rather than getting it wrong, I've left it purposefully ambiguous. Also for those who think it's the wrong direction/ thing to do, I seesawed on this chapter so much but in the end it was something I wanted to see so I included it in my plan. That being said I hope you enjoy it. And can I just say I LOVE writing Cloud Dancing!. Let me know what you think._

_Also disclaimer, I don't own the bible just borrowed a few quotes clearly labeled  
_

Two Blue, One white

Sully rose from the kitchen table at the sound of the knock on the front door. He managed to reach the door a millisecond after Katie, he smiled to himself at her attempt to turn the handle enough to open the door, "Katie" he lowered his voice "Ya know ya not sposed to open the door"

The little girl released the handle and turned to face her Pa, her arms folding in protest, her lower lip stuck out in a pout, "I big" she asserted

"Ya sure are" Sully grinned at he watching as she puffed her pale blonde hair out of her eyes

"I nearwy fwree" Katie informed him, as if he didn't know her age, hadn't watched her grow, hadn't brought her into the world.

"Not for a little while yet" Sully reached and lifted her up, she blew her hair out of her eyes again "Need to cut your hair Katie girl" he ruffled her hair before reaching to open the door.

"Nope, be like Mama" Katie informed him as she helped to pull the door open "Cwoud Dancin" she greeted the Cheyenne happily.

Cloud Dancing raised his arms to take the little girl from her father "Ha ho my brother" he greeted Sully "Ha ho blonde one" he bounced Katie settling her into the crook of his arm.

"Ha ho" Sully greeted him moving and welcoming his friend into the homestead.

"I hope I am not intruding" Cloud Dancing looked around the living room.

"Ya never intrude" Sully smiled at him he noticed Cloud Dancing's study of the room "Michaela is upstairs"

"She is well?"

"Sure is" he grinned "She's going through Katie's old baby stuff"

"Your new child will come soon" Cloud Dancing smiled

Sully smile widened with excitement and anticipation, "just over twelve weeks left" he ruffled Katie's hair again "and Katie came two weeks early"

"She expects this one to do likewise" Cloud Dancing inclined his head, his words were not a question but a statement.

Sully nodded, it was an unspoken fear of Michaela's but one he knew, she was frightened that the baby would come too soon, just as she was frightened about so many things, her night fears about their coming child, fears that she didn't let anyone know, he sighed "You know Michaela, she likes to be prepared"

"She does" Cloud Dancing agreed "Your trip was good?"

"I made money, it will cover us while Michaela is off work" Sully frowned at the thought of his 5 day trip "Mining Company wants to put in a rail line to connect to the main one so they can take the silver down to some depot"

"You cannot prevent them" Cloud Dancing told him sagely "The Company will pay the government to ensure their line, and your government will not ignore the gift of money"

The two men fell silent, both considering their past dealings with government. Bored by the stillness Katie wriggled in Cloud Dancing's arm "I down pwea puh-lease" he complied lowering the child to the floor, he watched as Katie scampered away.

"I need your help" Cloud Dancing spoke quietly

"Anything" Sully told him, staring at his friend with concern

Cloud Dancing sighed "I wish to build certain structures on the reservation land"

"Structures?" Sully looked at Cloud Dancing curiously

"Although Dorothy is a very open woman, she is like most white people and requires the need of certain privacies" he sighed "As such she does not like visiting my home for long periods of time." He smiled sheepishly "She has tried to cook as I do, but I have found myself in need of strong medicine on the occasions she does. I would like her to be able to do as she wishes in my home."

"Ya want to build a privy and a kitchen" Sully deciphered staring at Cloud Dancing with surprise.

"And a room for a desk for her to be able to write" Cloud Dancing looked awkwardly at the wall "I like to hear her tell stories, she is fascinating to watch when she creates them. She has a good voice for telling stories."

"Ya want a cabin."

"No" Cloud Dancing shook his head emphatically "I do not want what the soldiers forced us to live in. I want a space that she can feel comfortable in, that I also feel comfortable in."

"And ya want my help" Sully whispered.

Cloud Dancing nodded "You are talented in wood work and you made this home."

"I'll help ya" Sully told him quietly.

"You do not approve of what I ask" Cloud Dancing studied his friend "I am doing this so that I may share my culture with the woman I care for." He smiled at Sully. "As you with Michaela I did not plan on finding feelings for woman who is different to me. I want to share what is left of my world with her, not force it on her, just as I do not want the ways of white people to be forced onto me. It is a compromise"

Sully nodded his head thoughtfully, carefully he studied his friend, taking in how relaxed he look how happy, after so many years of being tense, anxious and angry with the trauma his people suffered, some of the terrible wounds seemed to be healing.

* * *

Dorothy strode down the street towards the store; there was a slight bounce to her step, the warm early spring day filling her with hope after the long arduous winter they had suffered. She came to a stop as she passed the clinic, surprised to see Michaela sat on the bench outside, apparently asleep, her hands neatly clasped around her large stomach, her eyes closed, feet outstretched, oblivious to all around her. Dorothy made her way over to her friend, watching the pregnant woman carefully.

She sank onto the bench outside the clinic beside Michaela and warily touched her friend's arm. Michaela's eyes fluttered open, and she attempted to stifle a yawn.

"Are you alright?" Dorothy asked her gently

Michaela smiled sheepishly "I came out for some fresh air, I'm afraid I haven't been sleeping all that well"

"Baby keeping you up" Dorothy smiled in understanding

Michaela smiled and tenderly rubbed her belly "He does like to wriggle a lot, and I now need an exorbitant number of pillows just to find some remotely comfortable position in order to fall asleep."

"You managed on this hard bench" Dorothy teased.

"Yes" Michaela smiled "I seem to be able to fall asleep in any chair, however that does play havoc with my back" she shook her head, and changed the subject "How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine" Dorothy patted her hand "Where's Katie?"

"She went with Sully to help Cloud Dancing" Michaela smiled knowingly at Dorothy.

The older woman blushed, her pale skin flushing crimson under Michaela's gaze "Yes that."

"A privy" Michaela teased gently. "He must certainly care for you to be constructing that."

"I must say I prefer it to a bush" Dorothy looked self consciously at her hands "he's a very considerate man."

Michaela nodded in agreement, she reached for Dorothy's folded hands taking one gently into her own to give it a reassuring squeeze "He cares deeply for you, he wants to share his culture with you but not force you to accept it like ours has been forced upon him." Dorothy sighed heavily; her eyes focused on the ground, Michaela tipped her head sideways as she watched her friend "Dorothy?"

"Do you remember what I said when Loren asked me to marry him?" she looked up at Michaela "About wanting to feel alive, about how I cared for Loren but I felt I needed something more"

Michaela nodded her head indicating for her to continue "I think I've found my something more" Dorothy sighed "With an Indian of all people, Oh it doesn't matter that he's an Indian, not to me, I love his culture, it's fascinating, he's fascinating, and kind and wonderful, but it limits things."

"Limits things?" Michaela frowned, not quite following what her friend was implying.

"I see the way people look at me, how people stopped reading the gazette. Hank calling me Dorothy Dancing" She sighed her head flopping back against the worn wood of the clinic "I haven't felt like this about..." she trailed off conscious of those walking down the street, not willing to share her most intimate thoughts in the open for all to hear.

Seeing her friends discomfort Michaela took the lead "Dorothy do you mind if we move inside, I'm afraid this bench is becoming quite uncomfortable, I fear I need to change chairs"

Dorothy smiled, nodding her head in gratitude. She rose and held out her arm for Michaela to take, assisting her in rising. Michaela slowly made her way to the door, she turned the 'open' sign on the door to 'closed' before pushing it open and allowing her friend to pass across the threshold to her clinic.

* * *

Sully set the tray of carved wood pegs in front of Katie "Now I need ya to count the pegs for me, can ya do that?"

"Yep" Katie scrutinized the wooden items and began to count "one, two, frwee, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten," she paused "eweven, twelve, ... free and teen,... fo teen"

Sully backed away and joined Cloud Dancing beside a piece of wood that needed to be sawn.

"She is a clever child" Cloud Dancing commented watching Katie with interest.

"Takes after her Ma" Sully told him proudly, he chuckled slightly as Katie mispronounced nineteen as ninety and then began to count from 1 again "We're working on the counting though"

"Is it vital that we know how many pegs there are?" Cloud Dancing asked returning his attention to the task at hand.

Sully shook his head "Need ta keep her busy, so she don't try and pick up the tools, she has no fear this one. Building site ain't the safest place for a kid but Brian is at school and Michaela didn't sleep at all last night, she needs a chance ta rest when she ain't got patients"

"I apologise for taking so much of your time away from your family" Cloud Dancing sighed.

"You are family," Sully rested his hand on Cloud Dancing's shoulder.

"I appreciate your help. We have achieved a great deal"

Sully followed the Cheyenne man's gaze around the patch of earth he called home. In the ten days since Cloud Dancing had approached him, they had constructed a small outhouse, and the frame to what was essentially a two roomed cabin, today they were installing a metal groove into the ground, and a counterpart in a beam of wood, an idea that had occurred to Sully when he watched the train being unloaded. Runners so that the complete wall would slide open, and let the world in.

The structure was larger than he had envisaged, certainly bigger than was needed for fitting a small kitchen in one room and a desk in the other. It would certainly take longer than the two weeks he had planned to spend on the project; at any other time he would have gladly spent time with his friend but as Michaela's pregnancy progressed she was struggling more and more with daily life, he wanted to be around to help her, and more importantly to stop her from pushing herself too hard.

"We have" he agreed quietly "It should look good, when it's done"

"I cannot thank you enough for your help" Cloud Dancing told him sincerely, holding out a ladle containing water. Sully accepted the offering and drank until the bowl was dry "You worry for her?"

Sully looked up at Cloud Dancing's words "Yeah" he admitted "It's been hard for Michaela, don't get me wrong we're both excited to the baby coming, but she's gettin real big, and there's still a while till the baby gets here and the whole thing with Matthew going to Cincinnati, she ain't over that" he sighed "She's just so fragile. I want to keep her safe, protect her."

"You have always protected Dr Mike. You will both hold your child" Cloud Dancing took back the wooden ladle "Life is about the journey, sometimes it is hard and you must face many obstacles, many hardships. But joy outweighs what causes us pain. I hold the joy that Snow Bird and Walks on a Cloud brought me near to my heart more than the pain of their deaths. I remember all my people living" he subconsciously rubbed the scars on his arms, the marks he had made stood over the body of Snow Bird on the dreadful day he found her at Washita. "Sometimes in our journey, you see your destination but you are not sure how to get to it, other times the way is clear and sometimes there are forks and you must choose a path."

Sully thought on his friend's words for a moment, listening to the hum of the earth, to the animals and the birds, the sound of nature punctuated only by the noise of Katie quietly counting and the sound of his own breath as his lungs moved in and out. After a minute of quiet contemplation he spoke "What about your path?"

Cloud Dancing stared up at the sky, watching the clouds race across the spring time blue that had chased away the grey of winter "I must choose my path."

"This got to do with Dorothy and why we're building this?" Sully asked gently.

"Yes" Cloud Dancing sighed "I have lived my life with my people and then one among many nations brought together to forge a new people. Now I am alone, but I wish to share my life."

"What ya going to do?"

Cloud Dancing looked to the ground contemplating his answer "I must consider what is best for all involved, not just myself."

* * *

Dorothy dismounted from her horse and gazed upon Cloud Dancing's newly created homestead. He had banned her from visiting him on the old reservation land for over three weeks, almost the whole of March while he and Sully worked on the buildings.

Before where there had just been Cloud Dancing's tepee, now there stood alongside it a relatively large one story cabin and near the tree line a small outhouse. Dorothy smiled and moved to join Cloud Dancing who stood smiling broadly at her.

"You have been busy" Dorothy greeted him, accepting his kiss as he greeted her.

"Sully did most of it" Cloud Dancing informed her.

Dorothy laughed slightly, he was always so painfully honest.

"I believe the phrase is 'it's the thought that counts'." he smiled "Would you like a tour?" He held out his arm so that she could loop hers through his elbow. Together they walked to the wooden cabin, a door in the left wall leading them into the kitchen, handmade cabinets next to a reconditioned stove, a table and chairs on the right, near to a wooden wall, the opposite wall bare save for a small window that let a small amount of light it.

"What do you think?" he asked nudging her further in.

"It's lovely" Dorothy smiled, she let herself be guided through the door in the central wall into the next room.

"I made you a desk" he indicated the intricately carved desk on the right hand "And shelves" he held his hand up to show her the shelf that ran the length of the walls "So you may fill them with your words."

Dorothy looked around the large room, empty save for the desk "It's truly lovely Cloud Dancing but it's a little dark" she told him practically, thinking of her eyesight "It will cost a fortune in lamps."

"Not so" Cloud Dancing left her side and crossed to the windowless wall on the left. Near the central wall was a series of bolts which he slid open, he turned back to look at her, making sure she was watching and then pushed the entire wall, sliding it across the width of the room.

Dorothy's hands rose to her cheeks in surprise "Oh Cloud Dancing" she took a few steps forward moving in to step behind her desk. With the wall moved the world was opened up to them, the view of the countryside, the beauty of the land, the scent of the earth, the warm April sunlight shining in.

"It is the same in the kitchen" Cloud Dancing told her pleased with her reaction.

"It's wonderful" Dorothy held out her arms for him, he moved towards her and stepped between her arms, gently he rested his forehead on hers.

"I want to share my life with you" Cloud Dancing whispered, his voice a low hum "It has taken me many moons to accept that you are the song in my heart, that you are what keeps me whole. When you leave I wish you to be here, many a night I lie awake thinking of you being with me."

Dorothy moved her head away from his, studying his sincere face "You want me ta spend the night with you?" she looked shocked, in truth she often felt the same way thinking of him when they were apart, wishing she could be with him.

"I would like you to live here" he told her simply, gently he took her hand, "I would like for us to be married."

Dorothy pulled her hand from his in shock "Married!"

He frowned at her reaction "You do not want it."

"But I mean I'm not" she gesticulated to her breasts, reminding him that she was not in many people's eyes a complete woman.

"That does not matter to me" Cloud Dancing told her "What matters is the sickness is gone and you are alive and I may enjoy your life."

"I...I" Dorothy stammered completely lost for words, finally she managed to whisper "I need to think."

Cloud Dancing nodded his head slowly "Take as long as you need my feelings will not change."

* * *

Dorothy knocked on the door to the clinic, hearing Michaela permission to enter she walked in.

Michaela looked up and smiled, a smile which quickly vanished as she noted Dorothy's pale complexion "Dorothy?"

Before she had a chance to rise, Dorothy slid onto the bench beside her desk "Cloud Dancing asked me to marry him."

"Oh" Michaela gasped.

Dorothy gave her a disapproving stare, indicating she wanted clarification on the meaning behind her utterance.

"I'm surprised" Michaela told her.

"You're surprised!" Dorothy sighed raising her arms and then dropping them into her lap "Michaela what do I do? I care for him. I love him. But marriage?" she sighed again "I don't know if it's even legal."

Michaela thought for a moment "As far as I'm aware, anti-miscegenation laws in Colorado only prevent blacks and whites from marrying. Were you hoping that would give you your answer?"

"I don't know. Michaela I don't know" Dorothy looked up at her friend pleadingly "What should I do?"

"I can't tell you what to do Dorothy." Michaela told her quietly "It's your decision, you need to decide if your love for Cloud Dancing outweighs your fear of what people will think."

Dorothy looked sheepishly at her hands, Michaela's words hitting a nerve "Oh Michaela, I just don't... it's so complicated." she gave an exasperated sigh "I want this to be easy. It should be easy. As easy as saying I do. But..." she slumped back in the bench "Why am I so afraid? Why can't I just say yes? What must he think of me? Telling him I need to think."

Michaela took her friend's hand "Dorothy, Cloud Dancing will understand, he knows what he is asking, he understands that we are ruled by our heads as much as our hearts."

"So what do I do?"

Michaela rubbed her stomach as she considered what to say; gently circling her fingers around an area the baby was kicking. "Perhaps you need to look at it objectively, try to remove your emotion. Create a list of the pros and cons of your decision; see which presents the best case."

"A list" Dorothy whispered.

"A list" Michaela confirmed "It may bring you some clarity."

* * *

Sully watched Michaela with interest as she began to undress, it always thrilled him to watch her reveal herself. She was uncomfortable with him looking he knew that much, so he tried to watch her surreptitiously, every time she looked around he turned his attention back to the book in his hands. The sight of her body simultaneously thrilled and shocked him. It shocked him by how much her once lithe body was bulging out, the angry pink hue of her skin and the livid red lines on the lower half of her belly testament to the amount it was being forced to stretch by, but yet he couldn't help but be excited at the vision of her carrying his baby, glowing even through her discomforts. It surprised him how big her dresses looked when they were hung up but were so tight on her. She was wearing only the ones with buttons down the front now, finding it too difficult to battle with those that fastened at the back. He knew that on the first day of her eighth month she was counting the seconds till the baby was born, but strangely he wished this time could last as long as possible, she was never more beautiful then when in pregnancy and her condition made her need him even more.

"Sully" He returned his gaze to her "Could you help me with this please?" He rose and crossed to her, she was fighting to untie a lace on a garment he had never seen her wear before, a sort of wide belt that was wrapped around her lower abdomen, laces at the side holding it on "The knot has pulled too tight" she told him as he stepped in beside her.

"Michaela is this a corset?" he traced his finger down the white cotton fabric.

She shook her head "No, Cynthia made it for me, to help with my back, help support my abdomen."

"It help?" Sully asked lowering himself to his knees to study the pulled knot, his thick fingers gently teasing the leather strip to untie.

"Some. I don't hurt, just ache" she sighed and ran her hands around to hold her back; she wobbled and lurched to the side.

"You alright" Sully reached and held her firmly by the hips.

"My balance is completely gone." She smiled at him "I believe I have outgrown my feet!"

Sully glanced down at her bare feet "They're swollen, ya ankles as well."

She sighed with resignation "I'm not surprised."

He succeeded in releasing the knot and carefully helped her step out of the belt; the support gone one of her hand came round to brace the underside of her stomach. "Thank you."

Sensing her want to continue undressing alone Sully made his way back to the bed pretending to return to his reading. He smiled as she removed the remaining undergarments, gaining a brief glimpse of her naked body before she pulled on her shapeless shift.

He exhaled slowly; it had been months since they had last made love, she had found it much too uncomfortable on the last attempt and the time before that, she had fallen asleep as he had sensually massaged her. She turned, her face falling as she instantly read what was on his mind "I'm sorry" she whispered, her voice so forlorn. She waddled over to the bed and lowered herself down.

"It's alright" he ran his hand down her back.

"I'm not being much of a wife" she laid back against the bed frame, her bottom lip trembling.

"Course ya are" he kissed her sweetly. "You just got more important things ta be doing" he ran his hand down her belly smiling at the movement within, he felt a hard shape beneath her skin "Is that the head?"

She shook her head and lowered his hand. "Here."

He ran his hand over her stomach again "It's lopsided" he muttered with a smile.

"It's just his position it will change tomorrow" she told him, raising her hand to match his movement.

"Or hers" Sully insisted.

She smiled weakly "Sully?"

Seeing her need to talk he lowered his book "Yep"

"Did you know that Cloud Dancing was going to propose to Dorothy?" she looked at him wide eyed.

"I had an idea" Sully chewed his lip pensively "I didn't know he'd done it though."

"Dorothy is so confused." She shifted her position, turning her body to face him.

"What she gonna do?" Sully frowned.

"I'm not certain" Michaela sighed "I told her to weigh up her options, to make a list" she paused as Sully chuckled.

"You and lists" he teased her gently.

Michaela smiled "I made one for us." She lifted her notepad from the bedside cabinet and handed it to him.

Sully studied what she had written, a list of ten names and their associated meanings. "They're all boys" he looked up at her "You really certain?"

"No" she admitted quietly as she traced a line down her stomach.

He studied the list, his hand gently moving to stroke her stomach tenderly "Ya don't want ta name him Josef? after ya Pa"

Michaela smiled weakly "I would love to, but Maureen's eldest son is called Joseph" she sighed "I would like it as the middle name."

"Think that can be arranged" he kissed her.

"Do you like any of them?" she asked drawing the list from his fingers

"Some of em" he told her helping her to ease down flat on the bed and handed her one of her support pillows "I think we should wait."

"Wait?"

"See what it looks like," he kissed her tenderly "see _if_ it is a boy" he kissed her again "Come on bed time" he handed her another pillow.

Sully lowered the lamps as Michaela busied herself with getting herself comfortable, finally still, Sully rolled in to support her frame from behind, his arm folding over her to stroke her stomach.

"Sully" she spoke in the darkness "What are we going to do about Dorothy and Cloud Dancing?"

"We ain't going to do anything, if they ask for advice we will give it, but it's their decision, they're adults, the know their own minds."

"But" Michaela started to protest.

"No buts" Sully told her firmly "Bed."

She pushed his arm off her side. He raised himself up onto his elbow to peer at her face, she was frowning, annoyed by his response. Slightly frustrated he rolled himself away from her, never sure when she was annoyed if she wanted him near her. After five minutes he felt her shift, the mattress moving as she laboriously rolled over and positioned her belly against the small of his back. They lay still for several minutes, the baby kicking hard, awake as she tried to fall asleep. He smiled relishing the feeling of their baby nestled between them, he listened to her for a few moments her soft noises of discomfort filling their room "Michaela, let's turn over."

"You're not angry with me?" she sought reassurance.

"Nope"

She retracted her belly, rolling herself back to settle on her pillows, a few seconds later Sully followed, returning to his original position, carefully supporting her from behind. He nestled his face into her neck, drinking in her scent.

"Would you like to try?" she asked in a small voice.

Sully held his breath, wanting to say yes, but not wanting to force her "I don't if it's gonna hurt ya or makes you feel uncomfortable."

"I'm uncomfortable all the time" she sighed heavily "And I want to make you happy."

"Ya are" he raised her head and studied her face, she looked pensive and her brow was creased in response to how uncomfortable she was feeling, he swallowed, forcing his own wants to one side, her needs coming first, he kissed her cheek. "Ya havin our baby, ain't nothing that makes me happier."

* * *

Sully leapt from his horse and seized hold of the reins. The reservation land was eerily quiet almost like Cloud Dancing had gone on one of his trips to the northern Cheyenne, the fire pit still, no evidence of a fire from the night before; even though it was early April and the days were warm at night there was still a chill, and Cloud Dancing would have needed it to cook. He released the reins letting the horse wander to a particularly tasty looking patch of grass and he followed his instinct. Slowly he approached the woods and stepped inside, his feet quiet on the dry twigs and grass; he crept towards the clear stream, his ears listening for anything that did not belong in the woods. He caught the sound of an animal being startled and moved in the direction. He crossed the creek as quietly as he could, his trousers soaking the water up. Energetically he leapt up the bank on the other side, his well placed feet making barely a whisper across the earth. After a few steps he found what he was looking for, his friend sat in a stone circle, deep in thought, his eyes closed, as if on a vision quest, but he was not. Sully lowered himself to the ground outside the circle, from Cloud Dancing's stance he could see his friend was not communing with the Great Spirits that his mind was too fractious. Sully waited patiently for his Cheyenne brother to open his eyes, the older man doing so slowly, moving his stiff body as little as possible "Ha ho" Sully greeted him quietly.

"Ha ho" Cloud Dancing closed his eyes again "Michaela has spoken to Dorothy."

"You know women they like to talk" Sully attempted to ease the mood.

"They like to think also" Cloud Dancing told him glumly.

Sully nodded in agreement "Ain't worth speaking to ones who don't. She ain't said no."

"She looked shocked that I asked her." Cloud Dancing unfolded his legs, drawing them up to his chest and hugging them. "I do not understand, she came to the Northern Cheyenne to find me yet..."

"You know as well as I do, Cheyenne don't judge, they welcome everyone, till the person proves they cannot be trusted, with white folk it's different, they judge first, earn trust later."

"She is afraid of what people will think."

Sully nodded sadly "This town seen plenty of ugly, like when Grace and Robert E bought a house in town." He sighed "I gotta ask you why?"

"I have explained already" Cloud Dancing evaded the question.

"I don't understand, what's changed? You would never marry an Arapaho, so why would ya want to marry a white woman?"

"You are right" Cloud Dancing agreed. "I would never marry an Arapaho, because I do not love an Arapaho woman." He looked at Sully, the mountain man waiting patiently for his explanation "I have learnt to adapt, and my people have always changed we used to stay in one place, and then the buffalo came and we followed them across the plains, now there is one place my people call home, one place where they are free. You asked me before why I do not join them; I do not because they are not my kin. You are my family Sully. You are my brother. I live here to be with you, to be a part of your family."

"And Dorothy?"

"I wish for her to be a part of our family too."

* * *

"Got an advert to place" Hank dropped the scrap of paper down besides Dorothy; she ignored him lost in her own world as she poured over her list. "Hey, Dorothy," he banged the desk "Wake up. Got an ad to place" he grinned as she looked up at him.

"I'm busy Hank" she told him, her voice sounding as tired as she looked "Leave it there and I'll get to it."  
"What so interesting?" he peered over her shoulder, his eyes widened as he caught what she was working on. Before she had a chance to stop him he ripped the paper out from under her hand.

"HANK" She pleaded trying to reach for the paper as he stepped away from her. In a flash he was out on the street. She followed him desperately begging him to return her list, with Hank's long legs she had no hope of catching up with him as he raced towards the store.

"HANK" she screamed at him, amazingly he stopped.

Instantly she wished he hadn't, her shout had drawn a crowd and an audience was clearly what he wanted.

"Take a look folks, Miss Dorothy Dancing bout ta make it official, gonna be that Indian's squaw." He grinned at the reaction he garnered, the shocked and gaping looks from the towns folk, the instant whispers. He turned to face Dorothy, her hands grasping her scarlet cheeks, her face mortified. His lips twisted into a cruel smile, pleased with the reaction.

"HANK" Loren's voice broke the static crowd, his tone disapproving.

"Just a bit of fun Loren" Hank excused himself; he shrugged his shoulders, pleased with himself his work done.

"Well it's enough now" Loren chided him. Hank grinned at him and gave another lackadaisical shrug, turning and slopping off towards the Gold Nugget. The instigator gone, Loren stepped forward forcing his way through the assembled crowd towards Dorothy. He approached her carefully his hand outstretched to reach her "Dorothy?" he whispered gently, his voice loaded with questions, not just if she was OK but also if it was true. His fingers made contact with her bare skin and she baulked, her blue eyes wide, tear filled, unfocused. "Dorothy?" he repeated, he jumped as she moved, her body spinning so fast that her skirt whirled around her, smacking him with force. She ran from him and everyone else, retreating from them as they mumbled on, as they cast judgement about her life, retreating into her sanctum, closing the door that was intended to be always open.

* * *

"Hey Ma"

Michaela lowered her book, surprised to see Brian back so soon. He had gone into town to assist Dorothy with printing the paper, something he helped with every Saturday for the last 3 years.

"What are you doing back?" she asked curiously, raising her cheek to accept his offered kiss. Since the fire he had become more affectionate, always kissing her hello and goodbye. She lowered her feet off the ottoman giving him space to sit opposite her so that they could talk and she would not have to rotate her awkward body.

"Dorothy wouldn't open the door" he told her with a sigh, slumping down on the over padded pouf. They were interrupted by Katie scampering into the living room.

"Bw-rian" she greeted him with a sloppy kiss "You read me?" she requested holding out a book to him.

"Not now Katie girl" he appealed "I'm talking to Ma."

Katie sighed dramatically and wheeled round intent on joining in on the conversation, she studied her mother for a moment, her brown eyes narrowed as if sizing up the available space for her to sit on her mother's lap. Deciding it was not worth the effort she turned back around and pulled herself to join Brian on the ottoman.

"Why won't she answer the door?" Michaela asked when she was satisfied that Katie was settled and wasn't about to fall off.

Brian scrunched up his face slightly "Ya know what I said about Hank causing the scene yesterday."

Michaela nodded, she had not gone into town yesterday finally agreeing to Sully and James's requests to cut back her working week to four days, she vaguely remembered her son mentioning something about Hank and Dorothy, but she had been so distracted by the baby seemingly making an attempt to escape from her stomach that she hadn't paid that much attention.

"She's real upset" Brian summarised "and lots of people are whispering, Sheriff even had to arrest someone for vandalising."

"Vandalising!"

"Yeah" Brian looked miserably at the ground "Painted some rude words on the side of the gazette."

"Ohh" Michaela scoffed "Will this town never learn?" she shuffled herself forward in her chair and gripped hold of the arms.

"Don't Ma" Brian placed his hand on hers, forcing her to stop "Loren has been trying all morning, and I tried and Miss Grace tried. She won't come out. Loren's gone to speak to Cloud Dancing"

"Are you sure that's wise?" Michaela tightened her grip on the chair arms intent on pushing herself up.

"Ma" Brian pleaded with her "You won't be able to do anything, Miss Grace tried tempting her with Freddie, Dorothy won't open up."

"Dorothy is my best friend, I should speak to her" Michaela reasoned.

"No Mama" Katie spoke as she slithered from the ottoman, she moved beside her mother and placed her little hand on Michaela's belly, gently pushing against it. "oo rest" Michaela watched her daughter with tear filled eyes, at that moment so much her father's daughter. She acquiesced to her daughter's request, inching her way back to her original position, Katie's little hand pressing against her stomach ever so lightly until she was satisfied that her Ma was properly seated. Katie patted her belly twice "Good girl" Katie's inflection a perfect copy of her own. "Anty Dowotee be OK"

Michaela did a double take "Sorry sweetheart, what did you say?"

"Anty Dowotee be OK" Katie repeated.

Michaela glanced at Brian, silently asking him where Katie's name for Dorothy had come from.

Brian shrugged and rose from the ottoman "She's right Ma, Dorothy will be OK and you need to rest" he kissed her on the top of her head "Loren will sort this out and you will see her tomorrow at Church."

* * *

Loren brought Jasper to a stop and nodded a greeting to the Indian man; Cloud Dancing had been waiting for him on his arrival, or at least waiting for someone, the stiff posture indicative of someone who had been stood still for a long period of time.

"You have come to speak to me about Dorothy" Cloud Dancing spoke quietly, his voice as ever measured and precise, he moved to hold Jasper still so that Loren could dismount.

"You've been waiting for me to come" Loren surmised.

"I have been waiting for someone to come" Cloud Dancing told him with a small smile "Perhaps a lynch mob."

"Dorothy's been the one dealing with that" Loren told him ruefully.

"I am sorry for the pain I have caused her, I did not wish this for her, I was foolish..."

"Never a man who weren't foolish when it came to loving a woman" Loren offered wisely "But ya meant it didn't ya?" his face hardened "Ya want ta marry her?"

Cloud Dancing nodded sincerely "I want to share my life with her."

"Ain't ya doing that already?" Loren reasoned "Ya spend enough time together."

"It is true that we spend time together, but it is not the same as laying with a woman."

"This is about sex?" Loren butted in.

Cloud Dancing shook his head "The carnal passions may have interested me when I was a young man, but I have learnt that there is more to laying with a woman then sampling her flesh, there is the joy of waking with her every morning, opening your eyes and seeing her beauty, thanking the spirits that she was created."

"Then I give ya my blessing" Loren told him quietly.

"Your blessing?"

Loren nodded "It's customary ta ask permission from the father for the lady's hand in marriage, failing that a member of her family. Ya don't need my blessing but I want to give it" he held out his hand for Cloud Dancing to take.

"I will accept your blessing" Cloud Dancing took Loren's hand clasping it between his own "But I am not certain that Dorothy will accept my proposal, I fear she is too frightened of what the town thinks of her."

Loren patted Cloud Dancing on the back "Ya leave the town ta me, I got ways and means, ways and means."

* * *

The Reverend fixed his congregation with a meaningful stare, to the uninitiated the man did not appear blind, his eyes deep and soulful, it was as if he could see them all.

"I wish to say that this is a short service today. I will sing no hymns for I feel no joy. My congregation, my Church has lost its way" There was a murmur around the church as the Reverend took a pause for effect "I cannot change the events of the last few days, and I know that you are all aware of what I'm talking about. I have no words of wisdom to correct the path that some of you have taken, but I have 5 words of advice, words from Peter chapter 2 verse 17. 'Honour all people. Love everyone.' Honour all people" he paused for effect again "Love everyone...Now follow me" he strode down the centre aisle of the church.

With his unfathomable sense of direction the Reverend marched his way across the grass to the bridge his bemused congregation following after him like excited school children. He stopped just as abruptly as he started, coming to a halt alongside the alleyway between the clinic and the gazette.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." _(John 14:27) _he paused, the murmur of curiousness died down as the assembled began to realise one by one what he was doing "Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it." _(__Ezra 10:4)_ The Reverend began to walk towards the mercantile "Now go in peace" he waved his hand dismissively indicating the service was over.

As the crowd began to disperse Michaela ambled to the gazette. She tapped her knuckles against the glass, hoping that her friend had heard the Reverend's words. She tried the handle, amazed that the door was unlocked and that slowly the door creaked open a fraction.

"Dorothy?" Michaela called, peering into the gloom of the store; with the blinds closed it was impossibly dark "Would you like to join us for the picnic?" Michaela pushed the door timidly; she was surprised when it rebounded slightly, Dorothy evidentially stood directly behind it. Michaela pushed it open again "Dorothy, can I come in?" she tried pushing the door slightly wider; the gap which she would have easily squeezed through 8 months ago now unfeasibly small and impossible to fit through. "Dorothy?"

"Michaela" Sully stepped up beside her, "We got her to unlock the door, it's the first step." He put a guiding arm around his wife "Dorothy if ya need us we'll be at the meadow and then we'll be heading home." There was no response though he did not expect one.

"Papa" Katie asked clambering up onto the veranda outside the gazette "Me twy" much like her father she did not wait for a response instead slipping between the door and the doorframe and slamming the door.

"It dark!" she exclaimed.

"Katie" her mother rapped her knuckles on the window.

"Anty Dowotee" the little girl called nervously "It dark."

"Katie" Dorothy's voice croaked, she appeared out of the darkness, her grey dress blending in with the gloom, her pale face the only thing illuminated by the chink of light allowed in by the blinds. Katie reached up and gripped Dorothy's face preventing her from disappearing into the room and leaving her alone. "Anty Dowotee" Katie repeated again "Dem not portant" she shook her head, "Mama and Papa and Bwrian an an and Misser Bway and Cwloud Dancin portant."

Dorothy took hold of the little girl's hands and pulled the child into her arms "Oh if only life were that simple my angel."

"Is simal" Katie confirmed "No be scared."

"I'm not scared" Dorothy stroked Katie's downy soft hair, a feeling of safety and comfort washing over her.  
"Y-oo hidin" Katie pointed out "Me hide when I scared."

Dorothy smiled weakly.

"Katie!" Michaela rapped on the glass again, her voice rising with concern.

"We sood go out, Mama getting fwightened." Katie snuggled against Dorothy's chest "Dust member wove you, dats portant."

"Thank you angel" Dorothy kissed the child.

"Salwight" Katie slipped of her lap. She moved to the door and tried to open the door, the little girl grunted with the effort "not open" she bleated trying again. At the third attempt she flopped onto the floor and gave the wood a frustrated kick. Dorothy rose slowly and turned the handle, opening the door a fraction. Katie gave her a beaming smile and pushed her way through the gap into the waiting arms of her parents. Alone Dorothy sank back down onto the floor her mind racing once more, endless possibilities racing through her mind as she analysed what she should do but they all seemed to come back to one idea, what did she want.

* * *

Cloud Dancing smiled as he saw the horse approach, Dorothy's shining crown of red curls letting him know from a distance that it was her before he could see her face. His smile wavered slightly as she drew nearer, her face was pale and tired looking, dark circles under her blue eyes, he instantly felt guilt, as he knew he was the instrument of her torment.

"Ha ho" he greeted her softly helping her to dismount from her horse.

"Hello" she smiled weakly at him; she looked at him silently for a few seconds before turning to examine her saddle.

"You have come to give me an answer?" Cloud Dancing pressed her.

Dorothy nodded and gave him a small smile "I would like to say yes." His brow furrowed not quite sure what she was saying "I mean yes" she quickly added seeing his confusion, she held out her hand, stopping him from hugging her in happiness "On a few conditions."

"Conditions?"

"I want to get married here, at your" she paused "I mean what will be our home, but I want the ceremony to be both of our cultures, your prayers and my prayers. And I don't want to change my name, but I would like you to give me a Cheyenne name for when we are at home alone, and I don't want our life to change, you can still go off to trade and hunt, and I still run the gazette. Am I asking too much?" she gripped his arm, staring at him cautiously her blue eyes wide almost fearful.

Cloud Dancing smiled, his warm brown eyes pulling in to half moon crescents "No" he shook his head, his long hair flying around his head in a messy haze "I believe that all you conditions are achievable" he kissed her softly on the cheek.

"That's it" Dorothy looked at him surprised "You don't have any demands"

"No demands, a request maybe?" He took hold of both her arms "I would like for you to sleep in the tepee with me. I will construct whatever bed that you will need to be comfortable but I cannot sleep beneath the wooden roof it will remind me too much of when I had no freedom" he looked at her hopefully.

"I would like to sleep in the tepee." Dorothy smiled "I don't mind where we sleep as long as I get to sleep with you and wake up with you." She giggled slightly, her cheeks flushed pink.

"So we are agreed?" he smiled widely at her "We are to be partners?"

Dorothy nodded "Yes we are to be partners."

* * *

Sully stood alongside the Reverend, Cloud Dancing's and Dorothy's wedding as their future life would be a mishmash of their cultures. The betrothed stood wrapped in thick dark blue woollen blankets hastily procured on a trip to Denver by Loren for the event, beneath their blanket each wore the dress that was traditional to them, Dorothy a simple elegant white dress and Cloud Dancing the shirt that Michaela had made at the time of her and Sully's wedding.

It was testament to the feelings of those around them at the speed at which the wedding had been arranged, the service pulled together in 5 days following her acceptance of his proposal. The few that were around them were their deepest friends, the ones that they felt were family, none of the assembled taking sides, instead looped in a half circle around the couple. There was silence as the Reverend spoke the familiar words of the Christian wedding service, the group only contributing in the appropriate places.

The Reverend stopped his words just short of the crowd pleasing 'you may kiss the bride' allowing Sully to step forward and say the Cheyenne words and prayers used in their ceremony with Brian accompanying him on the flute. Sully paused and nodded to Loren indicating for the older man to step forward; together they wrapped the bride and groom in a soft white embellished blanket. All traces of Dorothy and Cloud Dancing's blue blankets were gone wrapped beneath the white cloth. Under the cloth they were one shape, one mass, one unit. They linked together in the each other arms and tenderly kissed and at that moment, with their friends around them, and under the gaze of her God and his Great Spirit they joined as man and wife.


	11. Brothers and Sisters

_A nice new really long chapter for you, I got a little bit carried away because it's a Katie Chapter and I have tonnes of fun writing her, I apologise for any unintentional spelling mistakes, my spell checker is having an epi with the amount of g's I'm leaving off and how I'm spelling the words that Katie speaks, so I'm doing it all manually and I am not the strongest of Spellers. _

_Also does anyone know if Sully's Horse had a name, I need it for the next chapter(s) and I was just wondering as it sounds so impersonal writing Sully's horse especially when the others have names. Any advise greatfully received. _

_I hope you enjoy this chapter_

_Kate_ x

Brothers and Sisters

"Morning Sully" Loren welcomed Sully into the store "What can I do for ya?"

Sully settled his hands on the counter, "Michaela needs to order some bandages"

Loren gave a throaty chuckle.

Sully grinned, knowing what Loren was implying, "She's promised me that she will stop working at 36 weeks and her stock won't get her through till then"

"So ya expecting her to stop before the baby gets here" Loren smiled widely "I reckon she'll keep going like she did with Katie" he peered over the counter to the little girl who had been stood silently by her father "How's my favourite little girl?"

Katie looked at him surprised "Me?"

"Yup" Loren confirmed to her.

The little girl gave him a beaming smile "I good"

Sully reached into his pocket and pulled out the list he had written "I got some other stuff ta get" he told Loren "Ya mind watchin' her a second?"

"Course not"

Sully stepped away from Katie, leaving her alone with her honorary grandfather.

Loren made his way round the counter, "Come here Katie girl" he indicated for the child to follow him "Let's see what I got over here" he glanced back at her "You know you're getting mighty big, good thing too seein as how you're gonna be a big sister" he reached for one of the candy jars. "Reckon that will be happening pretty soon by the look of your Ma, she looks like she could pop any day now" he looked back at the little girl as he heard her gasp loudly, her brown eyes were wide, her mouth dropped open horrified "Katie?" he asked her with concern, he took a step towards her but Katie moved faster than he did spinning round and running from the store.

Katie leapt down from the boardwalk in front of the store, breaking the rules but desperate for what Mr Bray had just said not to be true, she dodged her way round a buggy and leapt up onto the walkway outside the clinic, rushing towards the opening door of the clinic. She raced at her mother as Michaela stepped out of the clinic door to welcome her first patient.

As Katie reached her Ma she threw her arms out, and after hitting her mother with force, wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's legs. "DON'T POP MAMA"

Michaela stumbled slightly as her daughter ploughed into her, the mournful words her little girl had uttered confusing her. With some difficulty she extricated Katie's vice like grip from her legs and tried to crouch down so that she was level with Katie. Katie was crying, hot heavy tears rolling down her cheeks "Don't pop Mama" Katie begged again.

"KATIE!" Sully yelled rushing up from the direction of the store, Loren a second behind him "Ya don't go on the street by yerself, it's dangerous"

"Don't wan Mama ta pop" Katie told him mournfully, trying to climb into Michaela's arms.

"What?" Sully whispered, looking at Michaela asking for an answer.

"Misser Bway said Mama gonna pop" Katie responded fresh tears rolling down her face "Don't pop" she turned back to Michaela "pwease Mama don't pop"

"I'm not going to pop sweetheart" Michaela assured her upset daughter.

"Sorry Sully, Dr Mike I didn't think" Loren apologised "Forgot how they take things literal at that age"

"Salright" Sully breathed a sigh of relief "It's not yer fault"

"Why don't you finish the shopping and I'll keep Katie with me" Michaela smiled and took Katie into her arms, she made to stand up lifting Katie as she stood. Midway to standing she stopped with a gasp and crouched back down, returning Katie back to the ground.

"Michaela!" Sully raced to her side.

"I'm alright" she told him, her face creased as she breathed through what had made her pause "It's a false contraction,"

"False contraction?" Sully frowned

"It's normal, I've been experiencing them since my sixth month, it's perfectly natural, it just took me by surprise" she smiled and held her hand out asking for help to stand up "I'm fine, I'm just not sure I should try lifting Katie in that manner for a while"

"Sure?" Sully asked helping her to rise.

"Absolutely" Michaela nodded, she held out her hand to her now startled looking daughter "Now Katie can you help me with Mrs Heller?" she smiled at her patient who had been watching the proceedings with amusement "Do come in" she caught sight of Sully and Loren's worried gaze "Honestly I'm fine, and Katie will help me" she kissed Sully "Sully really I'm fine, I only have a few patients today I'll get plenty of rest I promise"

* * *

With a yawn Brian unbuttoned his trousers and undershorts letting them drop to the floor. The door creaked open and he gave a yell of surprise, scrambling to cover himself as Katie barged her way into his room.

"I open the doowar" she told him proudly.

"Katie get out" Brian hissed at her, dropping to his knees behind his bed, his face flushed crimson with embarrassment of his little sister walking in on him.

"But" Katie protested and ran round the bed to be near him, she stopped at the foot of the bed and tilted her head "What that?" she asked pointing at Brian's groin, "why hide?"

"KATIE GET OUT" Brian yelled as he pulled the quilt down to cover himself,

Katie wagged her finger at him "Inside voice" she told him, and moved closer to him, trying to pull the cover down to see what he was trying to hide "What is?"

"MA" Brian yelled in desperation, pulling at the quilt, Katie released her grip and he fell backwards striking his head on the wall.

Katie scowled and folded her arms "I wan see" she insisted "WHAT IS?" her voice rose dangerously, when she was tired the sweet charming little girl vanished and was replaced by a demanding, sulky, prone to tantrums toddler. She stamped her foot "I WAN SEE"

"Hey" Sully rushed into the room "What's going on?" he frowned seeing Katie out of her crib "Come on you're sposed to be in bed" he reached and lifted her, Katie squirmed and squealed, displeased with being lifted away from Brian. "Katie" Sully tightened his grip on her, "its bedtime" he glanced at Brian, and smiled slightly at the colour of his son's face, and the way in which he was sat "We need to leave Brian in peace" he strode out the room. He hated it when Katie behaved in this way, kicking and throwing her head around, she was tired, over tired, as she had resisted taking a nap earlier in the day because she wanted to watch Michaela to ensure she didn't pop. "Come on Katie" he tried to calm her down.

"What ... happened?"

He turned as Michaela made it to the top of the stairs, he frowned, she was breathing heavily "You alright?"

"Of...course" she told him, reaching to put a comforting hand on Katie's back.

"You're outta breath" Sully noted worried.

She took a second to get her breath back "The baby is pressing up against my diaphragm it makes it harder to breathe." She stroked Katie's back, finally silencing the child "What's the matter sweetheart?"  
"Bwian won show" Katie mumbled through shuddering breaths.

Michaela looked at her husband for a translation "She walked in on Brian undressing, he tried to cover himself." Sully explained, he turned and moved into their bedroom. He set the quietening child on the bed before kneeling beside it."Katie?"

"I twouble?" Katie asked on the verge of tears again.

"No" Michaela answered as she moved into the room.

"Ya just need ta respect Brain's privacy" Sully told Katie gently stroking her arm.

"Pwiacy?" Katie looked confused.

"Brian's room is his own" Michaela told her daughter as she lowered herself to the mattress.

"Ya can't just go in," Sully reasoned "Ya have to wait for him ta let ya in."

"Pwiacy" Katie repeated.

"Yeah" Sully confirmed.

"But what?" Katie asked, her arms bent at the elbow her palms raised, physically as well as verbally asking the question.

"Katie," Michaela placed her arm around her daughter "Do you remember me telling you that boys and girls are different?" Katie nodded resting her head against Michaela's side "Well Brian was hiding what makes boys and girls different on the outside," Katie yawned, her eyes drooping "I promise I will tell you all about it another time"

"Why?" Katie croaked as she forced her eyes to open more.

Michaela tenderly stroked Katie's downy hair "Because you are a sleepy girl."

Katie slumped further down Michaela's side "Not."

"Yeah you are" Sully lifted her into his strong arms soothingly rocking her from side to side, in under a minute Katie's eyes were closed and she had drifted off to sleep. Sully placed her into her cot lovingly stroking her blonde hair.

He turned to Michaela; she smiled widely at him and raised her hand for him to take. Quickly he crossed back to the bed. He took her hand and brought it to his lips kissing it with passion; stepping between her widespread knees he bent forward kissing the crown of her head and began moving down her face with passionate kisses. He smiled inwardly as she moaned softly as he found a tender spot on her neck. His thick fingers fumbled with the buttons on her dress opening the top few to allow himself access to her chest and filling cleavage. He continued his sensuous journey downwards.

"Sully"

Her voice stopped him; he looked up, forcing himself to take a calming breath. One look at her face and his passion vanished, she looked concerned, and her chest was heaving as she struggled to take a breath.

"You alright?" He knelt, watching every laboured movement of her chest.

She nodded "I...can't" she panted, her head fell backwards. Finally she seemed to be able to take a deep enough breath, Michaela raised her head to look at him, "I'm sorry"

Sully shook his head dismissing her fears "Don't worry. Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine" she rubbed her abdomen "Just the baby takes up so much room, if I exert myself too much or get excited it makes it hard to breathe"

"Is that why ya ain't eating much either?" Sully asked. He began undoing her dress again, this time to assist her so she could get ready for bed.

"Yes" she answered him simply.

"And it's all natural," he sought reassurance "false contractions, not being able ta eat or breathe, ya feet swelling up."

She smiled wryly at him "Perfectly natural." She tensed slightly "feel" she guided his hand to her belly; he frowned feeling beneath her skin as the muscles tensed before gently relaxing "Perfectly natural." She assured him "It means that my body is preparing for the birth."

"Is there anything I can do for ya?"

"Well if you could make it June I would appreciate it" she smiled at him. "No, just keep doing what you are doing" she leaned forward as best she could, meeting him half way to kiss sweetly "Just keep being the wonderful man you are."

* * *

Michaela finished buttoning her dress and observed her reflection with a heavy sigh. If it wasn't so painfully obvious to her that it was her body stuffed into the pale green dress, she would believe the size of the body in the reflection before her was some kind of elaborate hoax. It frankly looked comical, her torso bloated and round with her arms and legs looking ridiculously spindly alongside. With seven weeks still to go before the baby was due she actually felt as though she was the same size that she had been with Katie on the day her daughter was born. She was in a word, enormous. Loren's jesting words that she looked as if she was about to pop felt eerily prophetic, her skin felt so tight over her great stretched out belly that sometimes when the baby dealt a particularly strong kick that she felt as if she would burst. She felt as if she was a bubble floating on the top of water waiting for that jolt that would prove too much, with the one exception that bubbles were light and she had to deal with the baby's and her own ever increasing weight.

She sighed and waddled back to the bed, even her waddle was slowing down, her legs moving further apart in order that she could balance, and in truth it was just getting harder to move herself around with all this extra weight. She dreaded her time on the scales, even though she did view those times with a hint of morbid curiosity to see how much her weight had increased by since her last visit. She and James had gone through every possible reason for why she could be gaining so much, they had explored the possibility of twins, but on every appointment there had been only one heartbeat no matter how much painful prodding she had to endure to get the baby to change position. They had even entertained the notion that she had got her dates wrong but no other permutation of the dates would indicate another due date, if she was wrong then she should already have a two month old infant, and as with Katie she had not particularly shown with this pregnancy until the start of her fourth month when the uterus would have grown over the top of her pelvis. It was simply a very large baby, one that seemed to get larger by the second.

Michaela gripped hold of the foot of the bed, using the post to help lower herself onto the mattress as slowly and as gently as possible, any sudden movement just hurt too much, she had stopped requesting to be lifted from the wagon, instead choosing to climb down herself with someone there to guide her, she just couldn't face having to deal with the pain created by landing on her feet, or how the bounce pulled on her already overburdened skin. She kept herself near the edge of the bed, feeling with her toes for her dress slippers. Her leather shoes were too tight now, so she was resorting to wearing her slippers which were thoroughly impractical in the Colorado dust and in all likelihood would be ruined by her due date as they were made from silk taffeta but it was all she could manage squeeze her feet into. Cloud Dancing had promised that he would get her some moccasins on his next trip to the Northern Cheyenne but in the meanwhile she was forced to wear the ridiculous slippers, which flapped as she walked and offered her abused feet no support at all.

If it wasn't for the fact that the thought terrified her she almost wished that she could stay in bed until this pregnancy was over, but it wasn't in her nature to give in. She would just have to endure these last interminably long weeks and simply modify her life as she grew ever larger. She already had dropped her hours at the clinic, working from 10 till 2 unless otherwise needed and she had stopped working on a Wednesday. She had come to dread surgeries as it forced her to stand for long periods of time and she couldn't stand facing the table as her belly got in the way, meaning she had to stand side on which caused her back to hurt even more. As much as she loved the thought of having another child she was hating this part of her pregnancy, she just wanted it to be over.

She looked up as Sully walked into the room; he was smiling gently at her, no doubt brought on by something delightful that Katie had said, something which she seemed to be missing more of as her daughter moved about like the wind and her own speed could only be described as glacial. She didn't remember being this tired when she was carrying Katie, but perhaps that was the problem, she hadn't had to run around after a toddler then.

Sully sat beside her on the mattress and placed his large hand in the centre of her back to support her, his other coming round to gently stroke circles on her belly.

"Ya sure ya want to go in ta day?" he asked his brow creasing with concern.

"I have to" Michaela replied simply "I have appointments scheduled." She succeeding in finding her shoe and braced herself to rise, having lost the ability to bend at the middle and her abdominal muscles being so stretched that they didn't seem to work properly anymore it was a challenge. Thankfully Sully slipped his arm fully around her back and aided her in hauling herself upright. She stood still for a moment getting her balance before she moved off.

"Michaela" Sully spoke from behind her "They would understand if ya said ya couldn't come in today"

She shook her head, her hair loose, she hadn't even bothered with pinning it back, she had no patience to be playing around with her hair "If I put them off today I would only have to see them on Monday which will mean I'll be more tired for the rest of the week" she told him practically.

She paused as she caught sight of the open door for the room that would become Katie's, that little room which was for whoever would come along. Slowly she waddled to the door and leant against the frame her eyes taking in the task that lay before her husband. He had been working hard the last week to finish the bed for Katie, the parts of the bed neatly stacked against one wall. She moved to observe the headboard, it was similar to their own, but instead of the rose motif Sully had carved a tree and this was surrounded by six feathers not five, to symbolise how Katie had come into the world and that she was the sixth member of their family.

Michaela felt a tear roll down her face "It's beautiful" she told him, reaching her arm for him.

Sully stepped in behind her wrapping his strong arms around her swollen frame. "Do ya think she'll like it?"

"I think she will feel very grown up." She turned into him. "Though I'm not sure she will understand the symbolism."

Sully grinned and brought his hand down to her stomach, "Ya gotta promise me no walks through the woods till this one arrives."

Michaela playfully saluted him "Of course, this one will most definitely be born at the clinic or at our home, with James delivering him."

"Or her" Sully teased her gently. "I must say I am relieved, much as I loved helping deliver Katie I hated seein ya in pain."

She looked up alarmed "You'll be in with me though?"

He nodded and gave her a reassuring kiss. "Course I will, just they'll be someone there who knows what ta do and not be going 'what should I do' making you have to work even more" he grinned sheepishly .

"Do you want me to take Katie with me to the clinic?" She looked at him as he hesitated, seeing his concern that it would tire her further "I'll be fine, she's quite happy to sit and play."

"I'd like that" he admitted. "Then I can get this all sorted for when ya get back." Michaela looked alarmed for a brief moment "What is it?" he asked her gently turning her around to face him.

"Will it be completely finished today?" she asked quietly.

Sully sighed understanding why she seemed upset "Michaela we can't keep putting this off, Katie is getting real cramped in the cot and we need ta do it sooner rather than later to get her used to the bed, and so she don't feel like we just shoved her into another room ta make space for the baby" he kissed her softly "We agreed we would do this b'fore she was three."

"She's not three yet" Michaela reasoned.

"Caela" he pulled her into his arms resting his lips on her forehead.

"I know" she traced a pattern on his chest with her finger "Its... just our little girl moving into a bed, it means she's not our baby anymore."

"She'll always be our baby, even when she has babies of her own" he reassured her. "Let's make tonight her last night in the cot."

"Even though her room will be ready?"

"We'll make it real special, a big deal that she's gonna be sleeping in a big bed" Sully gently released her from his arms "Now seeing as ya insist on it I better get ya to work"

* * *

Brian looked up at a soft knock on his door,

Katie looked nervously at him, her face peering cautiously round the open door. "I come in puhlease?" she requested.

"Sure" Brian set his book on the bed and held his arm out for her.

"I gotta spek your pwiacy" Katie informed him as she rushed to the bed.

Brian lifted her up onto the bed "Yeah if my door is closed, it's for a reason"

"I not open it" Katie promised him sincerely.

"Good ta know" Brian pulled her in for a hug. "You use Ma's perfume?"

Katie nodded her head "I had bath with Mama" she told him happily.

"Ya going to bed?" Brian stroked her slightly damp hair as she snuggled into him.

"In min, Mama went to pwivy" she giggled "See goes lots!"

"That's the baby" Brian told his sister "Makes her do lots things different"

"wike fawl?" Katie asked, querying the reason her Mother would stumble or lurch on occasion.

Brian nodded, "she can't see her feet anymore."

Katie nodded, agreeing. "Bwian, I maked Mama dat big wen I in her?" she asked curious.

"I guess" Brian thought for a moment "Near the end"

"See near end now?"

Brian shook his head "Still got a while to go yet" he did a quick calculation of the time based on what Michaela predicted her due date to be "six weeks and five days"

"Dats long" Katie agreed "seven days in a week"

"That's right" Brian tickled her slightly "You're getting real smart"

"You smart too" Katie praised him "You wead wight"

"I've had lots of practice" Brian tightened his arms around her "Pretty soon you'll be reading like that" he smiled as Katie snuggled against him again "Your getting so big Katie, seems like only yesterday you were tiny baby Ma and Pa bringing you home, now you get your own bed, your own room"

"You can come in" Katie smiled up at him "I 'llow you"

Brian laughed "Thanks"

"Welcome," Katie frowned slightly "I need help?"  
"Help?" Brian lifted her so that she was facing him.

"I gotta be big sista" Katie told him looking worried "I don know wat to do"

Brian smiled "I'll help ya"

"Pwomise?" Katie asked.

"Course" Brian hugged her tightly again.

Katie carefully peeled his hands off her torso examining the whirls of flesh on his palms, his scars from the fire 2 months ago. Brian pulled his hands away, his face creasing with anguish, he hated anyone touching his hands, they were ugly and the skin was tight in places stopping him from playing the piano as he once had. Katie seemed to sense what he was thinking and grabbed one of his hands again, pulling it towards her. Softly she kissed his palm before looking up at him, her eyes full of wisdom "Day coz you bwave, not bad ting. Miss Tweeza 'live coz 'ou hurt your hands" she kissed his palm again, straightening up she gently patted the largest twist of scar tissue "dey spesal!"

Brian gathered his sister into his arms, hugging her tight to him, their heads nestled into each other's necks.

"What's this?" Michaela pushed open the door and smiled at her two children hugging on the bed.

Katie crawled out of her brother's arms to the edge of the bed "Bwian pwomised to help me be big sista" she clenched and unclenched her fingers a few times indicating she wanted her mother to come closer.

Michaela did as she was requested moving near the edge of the bed and within Katie's reach. The little girl leant forward and gently rested her cheek against her mother's abdomen, she giggled as she felt the baby move, she turned her head and kissed the place she had felt the movement "baby wigerwy" she kissed Michaela's belly again, before scrambling to her feet and reaching to kiss her mother on the lips.

"We should get to bed" Michaela made to lift Katie into her arms.

"I got her Ma" Brian reached for Katie pulling her into his arms before Michaela had a chance to get a grip on her.

"I can manage Brian" Michaela started to protest.

"No ya can't" Sully whispered stepping up behind her. "I'll take her Brian"

"Sure thing Pa" Brian handed his sister to Sully "Have a good night Katie"

"wilw, last night as baybeee" she giggled and wrapped her arms around Sully's neck clearly excited.

"Say nigh' night to Brian" Sully urged her

"Nun night" Katie tipped forward in her father's arms to kiss Brian.

The kiss over Sully nodded good night to Brian and moved to leave, he shifted Katie slightly, balancing her in the elbow of his right arm, his left hand moving to support Michaela's straining back as they moved across the hallway.

"Perhaps I should fix wheels to the bottom of my shoes and let you push" Michaela quipped at him "We'd probably move faster"

Katie giggled "Weels on your sooes, you funny Mama".

Sully deposited Katie on the bed, and held out his arms to Michaela so that she could use him as a support to ease herself down, "Thank you" she whispered. Seated Michaela shifted awkwardly, trying to turn herself and bring her legs up onto the bed.

"Here" Katie began shifting all the pillows creating a soft mound of cushions for Michaela to rest upon.

"Thank you sweetheart" Michaela stroked Katie's cheek.

"Welcome" Katie gave her a beaming smile.

"Think my girls need a story" Sully climbed onto the foot of the bed, he lifted one of Michaela's swollen feet into his lap and gently began to massage it.

"Gotta start once 'pon time" Katie told him,

"Once upon a time" Sully grinned widely at her "There lived a beautiful princess and she was loved by all the land" he paused as Katie crawled down the bed to sit next to him "She was sweet and kind and..."

"Mama?" Katie interrupted.

Michaela smiled "It's not me sweetheart"

Sully shook his head "Nope wasn't ya Ma. Your Ma wasn't born in once upon a time time was she?"

Katie tutted and bounced the palm of her hand off her forehead "I silly"

Sully smiled and resumed his story and his task of massaging Michaela's foot "the princess was clever and knew all there was to know" he paused as Katie brought Michaela's other foot into her own lap, copying his slow stroking movements. He smiled glancing up at his wife, her eyes closed in contentment. "The princess was very special because she would help all the people in the kingdom, even if they were mean or grumpy or stinky." he grinned as Katie giggled. "One day a man came to the kingdom, he had lived all alone and didn't know how to be a part of a family anymore but the beautiful princess said she would help him, she talked to him, and laughed with him and taught him to dance and one day she learnt what he had known from the moment he had seen her that they lo..." he was stopped by Katie placing her finger on his lips.

"Ssssshh, Mama sweeping" Katie whispered to him.

Sully looked up at Michaela, sure enough her face had relaxed in slumber, he smiled as Michaela gave a soft snore quickly clamping his hand over Katie's mouth to stop her giggling and waking Michaela up. Quickly he shifted off the bed taking Katie with him.

Katie rested her head against his chest, her hand finding his beads like she used to when she was younger. "Papa?"

"Yeah Katie" Sully rested his cheek against the top of her head

"Da pwincess was Mama?" she yawned slightly

Sully kissed her head "Yeah the princess was ya Ma"

"T'ought so" Katie sighed "Mama pwetty"

"Yeah she is" Sully agreed.

"See don fink so" Katie frowned "see fink sees fat and uggerwy"

"We gotta make ya Ma feel special" Sully kissed his daughter as he crossed to the rocking chair

"See is spesal" Katie reasoned settling into Sully's lap as he sat down "See spesali...biggest spesel"

"Most special" Sully corrected

"See most spesal person in da world" Katie sighed and rested her head against his chest.

"Yeah" Sully agreed "She is"

* * *

Michaela woke up with a pressing need to get to the privy, she shook her head, somewhat disoriented, surprised to be sat upright in the centre of the bed. She looked to her left, Sully was perched precariously on the very edge of the bed, straight backed, asleep in the only space left for him on the bed. Awkwardly she shifted herself to the right side of the bed and hauled herself off. She paused getting her balance and letting her eyes adjust to the light. She quickly left the room, using the walls to guide her down the dark hall. Reaching the top of the stairs she gripped hold of the banister and placed her other hand flat against the wall. Gone were the days were she could bound down the stairs in seconds, she had to take things slowly, the darkness making no difference as she wasn't able to see the next step anyway. Suitably secure she made her way slowly down the steps. She wished she could go faster, now she was stood up the baby was pushing down harder on her bladder making speed a necessity, a necessity which she didn't have. Luckily she made it to the privy in time, she smiled slightly, finding it strange that she would find victory in the fact that she had made it to the toilet in time to relieve herself, but these days just getting out of bed felt like a victory.

Her bladder empty and her hand washed she set about the arduous journey back up the stairs to bed. Surprisingly she felt more energised than she had in a while, her seated position obviously allowing a better quality of sleep then her usual left sided, pillows stuffed in all manner of places position that she had adopted in order to get any sleep.

She puffed her way to the top of the stairs and steadied herself with her hands until she felt as though she could take a deep enough breath. She quickly checked Brian through his open door before making her way back to her bedroom. She smiled as she saw Sully, he had rolled over onto his stomach, and had pulled a pillow, from the mountain that had propped her up, under his cheek. The muscles on his back were highlighted by the soft moonlight that was pouring in through the open window. Michaela shuffled her way over to the window, getting a small amount of pleasure from the warm breeze that was wafting in. April was proving to be very warm and they had nothing in the way of April showers, in fact she couldn't remember the last day it had rained, but again that didn't surprise her as she had a brain like a sieve at the moment. She just hoped it didn't get too warm before the baby arrived, she was already forgoing wearing some of her undergarments, though that was more to do with fit as the heat, if she removed any less she was bordering on becoming indecent. Not that anyone other than Sully was really looking at her other than to gawp at her size but she still felt the need to make some effort even if that effort did feel monumental at times. She turned and rested her body against the wall to observe Sully's sleeping form, his body so beautifully sculpted, every muscle perfectly defined and visible through his tawny skin, not too big nor too small, just perfect, his body the perfect antithesis to the freak show her body had become. She turned her head to look at Katie, her beautiful blonde haired angel. The last night she would be a baby in her cot, tomorrow she was officially a little girl, with her own bed, her own room. Not that anything else would particularly change other then the sleeping arrangements but it felt like such a huge thing, the fact that Katie would not be in the room with them, that for a few short weeks she and Sully would have their own room. Slowly she waddled over to the rocking chair, she turned it as quietly as she could so that she could watch Katie, she wanted to savour as much of this night as she could.

She smiled as she finally got herself settled and began to watch her daughter, Sully was always telling her that Katie was like her, but in sleep Katie was definitely her father's daughter she had a tendency like Sully to lie on her stomach and sprawl. Quite often in the morning she would find Katie completely turned about lying in all kinds of angles. The trait of Sully's which she had assumed had been learned from his years of sleeping alone in the wood seemingly a family trait to be passed down the generations. Michaela's smile increased in magnitude as Katie flexed her hands, her eyes rolling under her eyelids evidently deep in dreamland, a happy dream judging by her smile.

Michaela gasped, caught by surprise as the baby violently changed position, it had stopped moving in such a way as its house was getting a little too cramped but every so often a big change would occur. She stroked a large circle round the apex of her belly, trying to get the baby to calm "You take after your father too I see" she whispered to the baby.

"Caela?" Sully's sleepy voice called from the bed "You Ok?"

She carefully levered herself out of the rocker and made her way back to the bed. Lowering herself down she repositioned herself against all the pillows. "I'm fine" she reached and brushed a tendril of hair out of his face "Go back to sleep"

He didn't need to be told twice and he drifted back off to sleep with ease. If she didn't love him so much she would be frustrated at him for that very fact as she knew with the way the baby was moving it would take a long while for her to find sleep again.

* * *

"MAMA, PAPA" Katie bellowed as she hauled herself out of her crib.

Michaela woke with a start, groggily turning her head to observe her daughter. Katie scrambled up onto the bed coming to rest on Michaela's legs, her head pressing against her mother's belly.

"Katie" Sully sat up lifting her up and pulling her onto his lap "Ya need ta let ya Ma sleep" he told her.

Michaela yawned enforcing Sully's point to their daughter and closed her eyes, her eyes feeling like a desert, her eyelids feeling like sandpaper as they moved over the tender spheres beneath.

"But I get new woom today" Katie bleated

"Katie" Sully kissed the top of her head "Look at ya Ma, does she look tired?"

Michaela opened her eyes at his words, "Are you saying I look..."

She was silenced by Sully giving her a good morning kiss "Ya look beautiful, but ya look like ya need some more sleep"

"Why Mama not sweep now?" Katie asked shifting off Sully's lap to come to rest beside Michaela on the bed.

"You woke her up" Sully told her gently "And the baby makes it real hard for her to sleep"

"I not wake Mama up again" Katie told him, she pushed herself onto her knees and crawled up the bed to Michaela's head. She kissed Michaela on both cheeks, before seizing her mother's face in her hands "I pwomise Mama, I not wake you up" she kissed Michaela on the lips before letting go of her cheeks and moving back down the bed "I tell baby too" she crouched low over Michaela's belly as whispered something inaudible into the mound that dominated Michaela's body. Finally she straightened up "Wen I get woom?"

"Later" Sully smiled

"Wen later?" Katie asked bouncing slightly

"Ya Ma has to move all your clothes over first" Sully told her, capturing her again and pulling her onto his knee to tickle her

"I think tea time would be appropriate" Michaela suggested

"Dat ages" Katie bleated

"I think itsa good time" Sully kissed his little girl on the cheek "Gives ya time to explore before suppertime and bedtime"

"But teatime, mean I got bweakfasttime and lunchtime and pwaytime and weadintime all dem fore teatime" Katie sighed heavily

"Do you remember what we said about waiting?" Michaela asked holding out her arms for Katie.

The little girl nodded and slipped from her father's to her mother's arms. "Waitin for tings we want good ting, wike babies"

"Baby" Michaela corrected quickly, her hands reaching down to cup her belly, her fingers gently probing the surface to feel the baby within. She smiled as Sully's hand joined hers swiftly followed by Katie's.

"I wait" Katie sighed "Wike Mama waitin" she gave Michaela a beaming smile. "I wait"

* * *

By two o'clock in the afternoon it was proving impossible to keep Katie from her new room, the child was bouncing off the walls with excitement, running for the stairs before being stopped by her ever watchful father. She was bubbling and chattering and while it was wonderful to see her daughter so excited Michaela was thoroughly exhausted by it all.

Sully on seeing his wife's head droop before being jerked awake by Katie bouncing around on more than one occasion made a decision. Catching Katie for the umpteenth time mid jump onto the steps he lifted her onto his hip and made his way to where Michaela was attempting to construct a bear. The kit had seemed like a good idea at the time, it was to be her gift to the baby like the christening gown had been her gift to Katie but all the sewing seemed to be doing was frustrating her, that coupled with the fact that she was exhausted meant he had one very grumpy pregnant lady to handle as well as his boisterous daughter.

"Michaela" he looked sheepishly at her.

She shot him a withering look as she brought down her sewing to rest on her bump "Yes?"

"I think we gotta let her see" Sully told her quietly "She's gonna do herself an injury"

"I see I see, pwease Mama I see" Katie begged bouncing excited in Sully's arms.

Michaela gave a tired smile, unable despite everything to resist her daughter any longer "Alright, but then Katie has to promise to play quietly"

"I pwomise, I pwomise" Katie shouted almost bursting with excitement.

Sully lowered her to the ground "Can you go up the stairs carefully and wait by the door while I help your Ma"

"You not carry me?" Katie looked up at him wide eyed. Despite her attempts to get upstairs, she was surprised that she was being allowed to climb the normally out of bounds steps on her own.

"You're a big girl now" Sully tweaked her on the nose

"Ok" Katie ran off

"I can carry you up now" Sully teased as he helped Michaela rise.

She snorted in derision "I don't think so, not unless you want to break your back"

Sully smiled and kissed her lovingly "Not much longer"

"Don't start that again" She rolled her eyes before kissing him back "You kept saying that to me with Katie"

"Hey it worked, she was two weeks early" Sully firmly placed his arm around her back and took both of her hands, supporting her and pushing her they ascended the stairs together "that works" Sully muttered.

"hhmmm?" Michaela queried as she reached the top step

"You're not so outa breath" he released her hands

"That's because you did all the work" Michaela kissed him in thanks.

"Nah, that's still you" Sully softly stroked her belly.

"Come OOONNN" Katie interrupted them, running to grab hold of Michaela's hand and drag her mother down the hallway.

"Easy Katie" Sully called unable to get past his swaying wife.

Katie hopped from one leg to another as she reached her new bedroom door

"Ta go in ya gotta read what that says" Sully pointed at the name plate he had carved and painted for her.

"KATIE" the little girl screamed in delight, clapping her hands. Sully grinned and slowly turned the handle and gave the door a gentle push.

Katie bounded into the room and squealed in happiness, she rushed back out of the room after barely ten seconds "Tank you tank you" she tried to hug both her parents around their legs before rushing back into the room excited. Michaela and Sully followed her in, watching as she raced around the small room opening the cupboards and drawers to inspect what was inside. Her audit completed she turned back to her parents "I go on?" she pointed at her big bed.

"Yep" Sully pulled a small step he had constructed out from under the bed with his foot. Katie took her first attempt at climbing onto her bed at a run, pushing herself off the floor bypassing the wooden step and landing on the bed in a heap. She giggled and rolled onto her back, wriggling her bottom as she got used to the mattress

"Do you like it?"Michaela asked quickly grabbing hold of Katie's feet so that she could remove her shoes before Katie damaged the quilt.

"Wove it" Katie told her bending almost in half to help her Ma undo her laces. She frowned as Michaela yawned "Mama sweepy"

"Yes I am" Michaela agreed

"How about you take a nap," Sully rubbed her arm lovingly

"That would be nice, but" Michaela shot a look in Katie's direction.

"I'm sure Katie will play quietly now" Sully crouched beside his daughter "You gonna let ya Ma have a nap"

"Why see not nap befaw?" Katie queried.

"Someone's been a bit too excited" he tweaked her nose "Gotta be quiet else ya wake ya Ma up"

Katie looked solemnly at her mother "You got to sweep lots" she slithered off the bed and moved over to her still open cupboard "I be quiet, I expore"

* * *

Katie landed on the floor with a crash, she jerked awake, winded for a minute unable to make a noise. Just as she was about to let out a yell, she was lifted from the floor.

"It's alright Katie girl" Brian soothed her stroking her back.

"I fawled out" Katie bleated as he set her back on the bed.

Brian smiled kindly at her; he had been in the process of drifting off to sleep when the noise had sounded from his sister's new room. It was only half past ten and from the looks of things it was destined to be a long night as the little girl adjusted to her new bed "I used to fall out" Brian told her gently as he pulled back her covers and settled her beneath them.

"Ya did?" Katie looked at him surprised

"Yup" Brian grinned and forced her to lay back down, his sister looking so small in her big bed. "Ya know what they used to do to keep me in?"

"No" Katie shook her head holding tightly to her bunny.

"They used to tuck me in so I was snug as a bug in a rug" He smiled as his sister giggled. Quickly he set about pulling the quilt taught over her, folding the edges of the quilt under the mattress so that Katie was encased in a pocket of the quilt. "Think you'll fall out now?"

Katie wriggled testing his handiwork, finding herself barely able to move she shook her head "No" she looked up at him quizzically "You really fawl out?"

Brian nodded "Yep"

Katie flexed her free hand at him and he bent down to be rewarded with a soft kiss "nun night"

"Nigh' night Katie" Brian rose from the bed, watching her as she quickly drifted off to sleep. Quietly he slipped from the room.

His parents were waiting just outside, Sully holding onto Michaela who had evidently tried to come in "She's fine" he reassured her

"Did she fall out?" Michaela fretted.

"She's fine" Brian reiterated giving her a good night kiss "I've tucked her in and she's fine. Now you need to get some sleep, right Pa"

"Right" Sully nodded coaxing Michaela away from the door.

"But" she started to protest but her husband and son silenced her with matching looks, their eyebrows raised telling her without words that they would not take no for an answer "I should kiss her goodnight"

"Ya did that already" Sully pulled her away a little more forcefully "Brian's done a really good job of getting her back to bed, so come on"

"Night Ma" Brian silenced her before she could speak, helping Sully to coerce her into the master bedroom. "Sleep well"

* * *

Michaela sighed and lowered her journal to the remains of her lap, she glanced up at the clock on the mantle, but all that did was tell her she should be asleep. She had barely slept for 3 hours before she was woken by the baby playing her organs like a drum. Having been to use the privy she had faced the stairs and decided that she lacked the strength and energy required to clamber up them and so had moved to the wingback chair hoping she would be able to sleep, but the baby was having other ideas.

She winced slightly as the baby very strongly kicked into her liver, she had hoped for a respite as on more than one occasion she sure the baby was in the process of dropping as she had felt the pressure in her pelvis increase but she had had no such luck, so her little passenger was quite happily abusing her ribs and liver. She knew she shouldn't be wishing for the baby to drop so soon, as that was a sign of labour approaching but the breathlessness and rib kicking was becoming almost unbearable, in fact the only reason she was able to bear it was because she knew she had no choice. She gave a shuddering sigh, her miserable mood threatening to spill out in the form of frustrated tears, she knew she was winding herself up but she wasn't sure what else to do. She could try talking to Sully and he would try his best to be understanding but as a man he really had no idea what she was going through and as much as she trusted her friends she wasn't sure that she really wanted to tell Grace and Dorothy about the peculiar changes her body was going through.

A knock on the door dragged her from her mood. She sighed in despair, when someone knocked on the homestead door at 3.30 in the morning it was for one reason only, someone had been hurt and they needed her help. Arduously she pushed herself out of the chair and made her way slowly to the door. She pulled her robe around her to cover her chest, knowing there was no point in even attempting to cover her bulging stomach or her sticking out navel which was brazenly pressed into her too tight shift.

Michaela opened the door a fraction peering out into the dark.

"Oh sorry Dr Mike, did I wake ya?" the soft voice of Adam, one of the Voss's farm hands sounded; the young farm hand stepped into the light and gave her an apologetic smile.

Michaela smiled slightly at him, Adam was a sweet but simple boy of 19 and it probably hadn't registered to him that knocking on someone's front door at 3.30 in the morning would normally wake them up. "No Adam you didn't" Michaela told him gently "The baby did that about an hour ago" She subconsciously reached for her medical bag which was resting on the cabinet near the door "Is someone hurt?"

"What? Oh no" Adam shook his head "I was hoping that Sully would be in"

Michaela opened her mouth to say that her husband was upstairs asleep when she heard him on the stairs. Sully was beside her in only a few moments later, his hand protectively going round her middle.

"Adam" he greeted the young man.

"Sorry ta bother ya Sully but Mr Voss was wondering if you could come give us a hand. A whole bunch of cows are calving and he reckons that there's a few sets of twins going by the size of some of them"

"How many cows?" Sully asked curious, as he reached for his coat.

"Bout 10" Adam told him vaguely.

"I best get Brian" Sully decided moving away from the door and back towards the stairs, he glanced back at Michaela, his blue eyes deep with concern "Are you alright with that?"  
"Oh I'm fine" Michaela answered his true unspoken question.

He smiled and slid across to her quickly "We won't be too long I'm sure"

Michaela accepted his offered kiss "It's fine Sully, all I'll be trying to do is sleep and in a few hours I'll have Katie to keep me company. I'll be fine"

* * *

Michaela leant over and placed her hand on Katie's chest, gently waking her slumbering daughter. Katie took several moments to come too blinking her eyes repeatedly as she got used to the different light of morning that came in from the windows at the back of the house.

"Good morning sweetheart" Michaela greeted her softly

"Lo" Katie mumbled sleepily

"Did you sleep well in your new bed?" Michaela asked pulling back the cover slightly.

Katie thought about her answer for a few moments before raising her legs to her chest and kicking down her covers "Yup" she extended her hand to her mother "You sit"

Michaela smiled "Thank you" she positioned herself and slowly worked her way back onto the mattress.

Katie waited patiently for her to get comfortable before crawling across the bed to sit beside her "Papa did good job"

Michaela chuckled "He did"

"I hug you?" Katie asked nervously.

"Of course" Michaela raised her eyebrows in surprise at Katie's question "You don't have to ask"

Katie gave her a wide but sleepy smile. Moving quickly the small child shifted to sit on what was left of her mother's lap, her short legs straddling Michaela's, she leant forward her back arching to match the curve of Michaela's belly, her cheek resting on the top of the bump, her arms wrapped tightly around as much of her Mother as she was able "Wove you" she whispered raising her face, and puckering her lips indicating she wanted a kiss. Michaela complied giving Katie a quick peck on the lips before the little girl returned her cheek to lay on the slope of her mother's stomach. After a few moments of quiet she giggled, sitting up and rubbing her cheek "Baby kick me"

"The baby kicks me all the time" Michaela told her with a smile.

Katie bent back down "Don't kick Mama" she whispered "Gotta be nice to Mama" Katie sweetly kissed where she had been kicked "Gotta wove Mama"

Michaela smiled and moved one hand to stroke her belly while the other stroke Katie's back "The baby's letting me know it's alright"

"It wove you?" Katie queried.

"I hope so!"

"I wove you lots" Katie told her before pressing her ear down to listen for any sound she could hear from within, before long she sat up looking confused. "Mama it quiet"

"You won't be able to hear the baby" Michaela smiled,

Katie slithered off her lap and went to the door "No Papa, no Bwrian"

Michaela shook her head in amazement, astounded that Katie could discern that there was no one else in the house having not left the room "Your Pa and Brian went to help Mr Voss. A lot of his cows decided to calve at the same time. Have their babies at the same time" she added knowing that her daughter would not understand what calve meant "We're going to have the morning to ourselves"

"Not go out?"

Michaela shook her head, when Sully and Brian had left in the early hours of the morning to help the rancher, they had thought they would be gone for a short period of time, and as neither of them were back nor the wagon tethered to Bear she was somewhat stuck unless she decided to walk into town. Though she felt somewhat guilty to be missing Church the thought of trekking the distance into town, which would take her close to an hour when she was not pregnant, was not a pleasant one. "We'll stay here, It will be fun" Katie raised her eyebrows unsure and Michaela stifled her laugh, "I promise we'll have fun" she let her daughter slide off her lap "What would you like to play first"

Katie scrunched up her face and thought hard about what she wanted to do. "Pway cooking"

"You want to play cooking?" Michaela smiled, "What would you like to cook?"

"Pancakes" Katie grinned at the thought "den dwawing, den dollshouse"

"We have quite a busy morning then don't we?" Michaela exclaimed as Katie moved to the chair where Michaela had set out her clothes for the day.

"Yep" Katie agreed.

"We going to have lots of fun" Michaela told her as she heaved herself off the bed.

She moved to help her daughter undress but Katie held her hand out. Her palm facing outwards, indicating to Michaela to stop "Mama, I do myself, I need pwiacy"

"Privacy" Michaela laughed slightly.

"I big girl, I own woom" she gave Michaela a very serious look.

Michaela couldn't help but smile widely "I'll be in my room, will you come get me if you need help"

"Yep" Katie said turning to inspect her clothes "I sould be Ok dough, den we have wots of fun"

* * *

Katie sighed and looked at her mother; they had only been playing for a little while before her Mother had asked if they could move to the wing back chairs for a bit of reading. Katie had readily agreed only to find that now her Mama had fallen asleep. She raised her hand to tap her mother on the leg but paused, frowning as she remembered that she was not supposed to wake her Ma up. Not wanting to play by herself she slipped off her seat and tried the front door, finding that she couldn't turn the handle enough to make the door open she pivoted and sought out something more entertaining. After folding some clothes as neatly as she was able to, she moved to help put away some cups but she couldn't reach the counter. Frustrated and bored she looked nervously at her still sleeping mother and then up at the stairs, she tentatively placed her foot on the bottom step, pausing as if she was waiting for someone to tell her off, but none came. She made it up three steps before she thought of something.

Carefully the little girl turned and clambered down the stairs, at the bottom she cast yet another furtive glance at her mother to see if she was still asleep. Finding it to be the case she bounced her way to the side door. She seized the metal door handle and twisted.

Katie gave a soft squeal in delight as the door popped open. She took a step outside and glanced around the homestead grounds,

"Wolf" she called for the faithful animal. He had been spending less time around the homestead these days seeming to spend most of his time hunting or at the reservation land. Katie sank onto the side door step and bounced her legs up and down on the balls of her feet. She sat enjoying the mid morning sun for a few moments before the familiar feeling of boredom reared its head. Sighing heavily Katie rose and made her way back inside to check on her Mama.

Katie rolled her eyes in annoyance; her mother was deeper in sleep occasionally emitting a soft snore. Coming to the conclusion that her mother would probably be asleep for ages Katie made up her mind. Conscientiously she pulled out her mother's note pad from Michaela's medical bag and laboriously wrote her Mother a note, just as she had seen her parents do for each other on numerous occasions. She concentrated very hard, her tongue pushed between her teeth as she carefully formed the letters that made up her message, satisfied with her note she made her way to the kitchen and placed the notepad where she thought her Mama would be able to see it, on the kitchen table opposite the privy. Certain she had covered every base the little girl strode out of the side door and closed it gently behind her.

She stood still for a few minutes as she tried to remember how to get the Voss's ranch, she remembered going there once before when her Papa had been doing work fixing fences. Katie grinned as she recalled how they had got there by riding through the woods which started behind the house. Picking her direction she started on her way to go see her Pa and brother.

* * *

Michaela was roused by the baby punching her bladder, the recurring need to relieve herself hit her and she made her way to the privy as quickly as she could.

Having dealt with the pressing problem of a nearly exploding bladder, she surveyed the mess in the kitchen, what had been a stack of clean clothes now resembled some balled up laundry needed to be washed, and there was two plates on the floor near the sink.

"Katie" she called for her daughter, not getting a reply Michaela waddled to the foot of the stairs "Katie" she called up the stairs. She was answered with silence. Michaela frowned and checked the living room. It was empty, she made a full circuit of the downstairs, coming to stop in the kitchen. "Katie?" Michaela called again her voice rising in anguish "Sweetheart where are you?" As she was about to move upstairs she caught sight of her personalised stationary. She lifted the pad from the table turning the paper sideways in an attempt to make out what was written, amid the scribbles and a few letters the only word she could make out was her daughter's name. "Katie" she called again, fear rising in her chest. "Katie" as she passed by the side door she noticed it was open. Horror washed over Michaela like ice water. "KATIE" she raced through the door, "KATIE!" She rushed down to the driveway, her rapid movement leaving her out of breath and gasping for air. "KATIE!" the driveway was empty, devoid of life. Hot tears sprung in her eyes, she was at a complete loss of what to do, or where to go. "KATIE!"

Michaela turned and hurried towards the house hoping to read the 'note' again to see if she could discern any more words from the scribbles. Something blue caught her attention, Katie's cardigan, discarded near the tree line. She stumbled up the bank to the trees, a small pathway into the woods, beaten down by Wolf and occasionally Sully "Katie"

"Ma?"

Michaela whirled around immediately losing her balance. Brian grabbed her stopping her from falling. "What are you doing?" he stared at her in complete confusion. He had watched her rush up the bank as he had approached; she looked frantic and wild, wholly unlike is mother in every way.

"Katie" Michaela bleated "She's gone" she dissolved into tears.

Brian took his sobbing mother into his arms "She can't be far"

"We have to go after her" Michaela sniffed back her tears

"I'll go after her" Brian countered "You should stay here in case she comes back" he added before she had a chance to protest

"You just want me to sit here and wait?" Michaela stared at her son incredulous.

Brian nodded his head "I don't want you to tire yourself out" he smiled kindly at her and gave her a quick kiss "Ya can't go trekking about the woods Ma, Pa will kill me if I let ya" he guided her back down to the house "We'll be back in a little while, she won't have gotten far and she'll probably be hungry"

* * *

Katie skipped lightly as she made her way through the trees, the hot April sunshine was dampened by the trees, the beams of light filtering through the leaves over head, creating a pattern on the bare earth below. Every so often the sun would break through the leaves creating a shaft of light, a boiling hot patch of warmth that she could pause in. Katie smiled as she watched a white winged butterfly pass through one of the shafts of light, the sunlight illuminating the wings as the creature beat them to stay afloat on the gentle breeze. She loved the woods and she knew why her Papa did too, it was so quiet, there were no people and it was full of sights and smells of nature. She took a deep breath through her nose, inhaling the smell of the wood, so strong she could almost taste it. Katie frowned as she caught the scent of something that should not be in the wood, a bitter acrid smell, the smell of smoke. She changed her path moving off the narrow dirt path that she had been following onto what looked like an animal run, the leaves and the nettles hanging over the tiny strip of earth.

The rabbit run opened up onto a small patch of clear ground by a hollow, the remains of a fallen tree lying next to another creating a little shelter from the Colorado elements, in the space between the two trees the remains of a fire smouldered. Katie tutted, rolling her eyes before marching towards the fire. "Silly Silwy Silly" she muttered to herself.

Someone had obviously slept in the woods last night and had left without putting the fire out, the burnt wood still glowing orange in places. She shook her head before carefully kicking dirt over the fire, snuffing it out like her Papa had taught her.

"Katie" She looked up as she heard her brother call her name "Katie"

She grinned "BRWIAN" she yelled bouncing her way towards the rabbit run. There was a clattering of feet and rustling of branches before her brother burst into the clearing. "lo Bwrian" she grinned at him and rushed to hug him.

Brian dropped to his knees and accepted his dirty little sister into his arms. He had only walked for perhaps 20 minutes to find her, a journey which with her short little legs had probably taken her close to an hour. She was dusty and her blonde hair was flying out of its blue ribbon but she looked happy, certainly not like she was experiencing some kind of ordeal. "What ya doin Katie?" he asked her softly

"I put out fire" Katie inclined her head towards the hollow "Silly people left it, Papa be verwy cwoss with dem"

Brian smiled slightly at her reasoning "I mean what are you doin in the woods?"

"I comed hewlp you and Papa have da baby cows" Katie smiled at him, she sniffed and turned her nose up "You smell stinky Brwian"

Brian snorted with laughter "Thanks" he sniffed; sure enough he could smell the aroma of cow mixed with his own sweat "I didn't get a chance to have a bath"

"Why not?" Katie seemed to get distracted her brown eyes following another butterfly through the leaves.

Brian turned her face to look at him, his face solemn, but not angry "Because you had vanished"

"I not vanised, I here" Katie reasoned raising her arms to show him she was there.

"Ma couldn't find you" Brian continued gently

"I weft note" Katie protested

"Katie she didn't know where you were, she was frightened" Brian sighed, he stood up and held out his hand for Katie, leading her to the fallen log and pulling her up onto his lap "You shouldn't make Ma upset"

"But see was sweeping, I not sposed to wake her up if see sweeping" Katie frowned

Brian pulled his arms tightly around her "No ya shouldn't"

"I twouble?" Katie asked her little voice trembling at the thought of being in trouble, her little trip into the woods suddenly appearing to be a very bad idea.

"No" Brian assured her "But you gotta think of others" he saw the glimmer of confusion pass over her face "we gotta take care of Ma, you goin and her getting upset is bad..."

"I not bad" Katie objected her eyes filling with tears

"No" Brian kissed her on the top of her head "You're not bad, but Ma's having a baby and that's really hard and she shouldn't be walkin round the woods to find you"

"See can't walk" Katie agreed "See wobbles"

"Right" Brian agreed "She can't walk properly and she has no balance, she stumbles, she could get hurt"

Katie shook her head fiercely "No wan Mama get hurt."

"Me neither" Brian agreed "We gotta look after her"

"Dis part bein big sista?" Katie asked him curiously

Brian nodded "Yep, Ma's taking care of the baby already so we gotta help her, and when she has the baby we gotta help her then too"

Katie narrowed her eyes "Hewlp like how?"

"Like, making sure she gets her rest, and bringin her drinks, sittin with her, makin her feel pretty"

Brian hugged her tightly "Lots of things"

"I wanna be good big sista" Katie sighed and rested her head against his chest

Brian kissed her softly "You're a real good little sister"

"I is?"

Brian nodded "Sure are, best one I got"

Katie rolled her eyes "I only one you got, silly" she sighed again and cast her eyes around the small clearing. "We go home now, I need hewlp Mama"

* * *

Sully pushed the front door closed, he smiled the pleasant smell of meat roasting filled the room.

"Hey Pa" Brian stuck his head around the fireplace.

"Brian" Sully greeted his son; he cast a look round the empty ground floor. "Yer Ma 'n' sister upstairs?" he frowned as he noticed Brian's face grimace slightly "Brian?"  
"Katie wanted to come help us, so she went into the woods"

Sully's eyes widened in alarm, "She Ok?"

"She's fine" Brian assured him "But Ma got real scared, I got back in time to stop her goin into the woods. They're takin a nap" he smiled weakly at Sully "I'll have dinner ready in about an hour"

"Thanks son" Sully rushed to the stairs taking them two at a time, he raced to the master bedroom. Inside the sight filled him with joy, pushing away all the nervousness that he had felt over the last awful 60 seconds. Michaela was asleep, propped up by the mountain of cushions, one arm wrapped protectively over her belly the other lightly touching Katie. The little girl herself had moved to a sitting position besides her mother's stomach and was softly whispering, her words too quiet for him to hear. She looked up as he approached the bed and smiled happily at him.

"Ya talkin to the baby?" Sully asked her, his voice a low whisper so to not wake Michaela

Katie nodded "Tellin it how to be good little sister"

"What if it's a boy?" Sully asked, amused that Katie thought the baby was a girl when Michaela was convinced it was a boy.

Katie thought hard for a moment "Don know how be bwover, Brwian have to tell it that" she chewed her lip nervously "I sowwy"

"What happened?" Sully whispered gently to her, he could see in her eyes she was full of remorse, her deep brown eyes serious and full of worry.

"I goed into da woods, coz I wanned to helwp wid da baby cows" she sighed heavily "Brwian getted me. I made Mama cwy" she looked up at her mother with anguish, Sully waited sensing there was more "We had nap in my bed but Mama taked up too much woom, so we in here"

"She took up too much room" Sully whispered with a smile

Katie shook her head "Not Mama weally, it da baby" she leant forward and softly kissing Michaela's stomach "I sowwy I maked Mama cwy"

"Do ya know why she did?"

"Coz I goed and see didn't know where I was" Katie sighed again "I writed note, but I not write good"

"I could read your name" Michaela's voice startled them both.

"Mama you wake" Katie voice rose with happiness

"Thought ya were asleep" Sully leant up to kiss his wife.

"I was listening to Katie" she smiled and moved her hands to brush her husband's and daughter's hair from their eyes.

"I waked you?" Katie asked warily

Michaela smiled "No, the baby did"

Sully raised his hand to rest on his new child, smiling as he felt the movement within his wife "certainly a wriggler" he grinned knowingly up at Michaela.

"Certainly" Michaela agreed, she grunted slightly and brought her hands down to her stomach, rubbing it trying to stop the baby from moving so much "I'm fine" she told Sully before he could ask "The baby just kicked strongly"

"Kicking tells you it's alwight" Katie remembered, she looked over at Sully "You gotta tell baby how ta be good dougta or son"

Sully smiled "I didn't tell you what ta do, and you turned out good"

"Weally?" Katie looked surprised "Weally Mama I good?"

Michaela nodded and held her arms out for Katie. The little girl got to her feet and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, pressing her cheek against Michaela's with a smile "I getted good coz you"

"Yeah" Sully raised himself enough to rest on the edge of the bed, his long strong arm moving to encompass Katie, Michaela sandwiched firmly between them, cocooned in their love and warmth, "best Ma in the world sat here"

"Yup" Katie agreed "and bested Papa, and Bwrian bestest bwover, but don tell Mattew" she shook her head and gave a sheepish smile.

"Can I come in?" Brian asked nervously in the doorway.

"Course ya can" Sully patted a space on the mattress next to him.

"I heard voices" Brian told them sitting on the mattress "so I brought Ma some tea" he lifted the cup in his hands slightly, but didn't offer it to her.

"See Mama" Katie moved her head away from Michaela's cheek "he bestest"

Michaela smiled up at her two children "The very best" she exhaled happily, amused as Brian looked intently the cup of tea, his cheeks flushing red.

Sully grinned "So we're all agreed we're the best family"

"Yup" Katie giggled, "An Colween an Mattew" she giggled again, and returned her cheek to Michaela's "Coz us"

"Ours" Brian corrected for her, bringing one of his hands to rest on Michaela's "Because it's ours"


	12. The Fire Part 1

_Hey everyone,_

_Next chapter this is a two parter, so you get part one this week and part 2 next week imagine that big black screen at the end with 'TO BE CONTINUED' on (will definitely happen, part 2 written apart for one section and then I need to edit it). I'm afraid I'm being a little bit mean, though I have changed it so the cliff hanger is not as bad as it was (posting a bit early today as I'm out for the next couple of days and wanted to get it up). It's a whole town event, so I apologise if it seems a little jumpy, there are soooo many people to fit in. There is a quote from the bible which I've highlighted, and Preston's comment to Brian in the clinic about Michaela and her indefinable charm is taken from Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Grey which wasn't published till 1891 but it just seemed like something Preston would say, so all rights belong to their respective owners._

_Also the Joe that gets mentioned by Jake, is Joe Peterson who is the bloke I made sheriff then seemed to forget about in my plan other then the initial reference. I put this on because I forgot his name so thought everyone else might have as well._

_Enjoy x_

The Fire Part 1

Lewis Riley stuck his head out the side of the engine, he had worked this line since its inception, driven the train through rain and snow and sun, but never smoke. Cautiously he observed the cloud that rolled across the tracks. Tracking its origin he saw a single plume evidently from someone camping in the woods. Relieved he turned his attention back to the controls, content in the knowledge that it was just a campfire.

Had he thought logically about the fire he would have realised that at 10 o'clock it was too late in the morning for a fire to be burning. Had he stopped the train he would have found the fire abandoned and burning. Had he stopped he could have put the fire out.

But Lewis Riley was not a logical thinker, he was a man of metal and controls, so he did not think about the time of day and as a man who operated in getting from A to B he did not stop the train.

And so the fire left unattended by a foolish camper jumped and sparked, catching the tinder dry grass that hadn't felt a drop of water for over a month. Dry, and tangled the grass was consumed by flames, a carpet of fire that licked and ate all in its path, and from the grass it spread to the bushes and from the bushes it spread to the trees and before long the forest was aflame the wind whipping the fire pushing it towards Colorado Springs.

* * *

"MAMA look" Katie bellowed rushing into the clinic. Michaela looked up from her work, her notes from the last patient of the day. "Mama?" Katie studied her mother with worried eyes. "You wet"

Michaela sighed as she gently dabbed her moist face with the back of her hand. The last week had proved unbearably warm yet outside the wind was vicious, blowing up the dust and using it as sandpaper, scouring building, animal or human indiscriminately. Michaela had been inside the airless clinic for 4 hours and she was suffering, she was so hot she could actually feel the beads perspiration bubbling on her skin. "I'm very hot" she explained to Katie

"I won hug you den" Katie told her sweetly "Kiss Mama" she reached up as high as she could to kiss Michaela on the cheek "dat's touff" she giggled "baby gets in da way" she patted Michaela's belly "Baby been good?"

Michaela smiled, pleased at how interested and excited her little girl was about the coming baby "Yes it's been very good. What did you want me to look at sweetheart?"

"Oh dat" Katie rushed to the door and beckoned to someone "Misser Lawson sen pweasent"

"Hank?" Michaela raised herself from the chair slowly, thoroughly perplexed as to why Hank of all people would be giving her a present.

"Hold ya horses short stuff" Hank's familiar gravelly voice filtered into the clinic.

"I don got horses" Katie retorted, she spun round and stared at Michaela as she ponderously made her way to the door. "You walk slow Mama"

"I know sweetheart," Michaela stroked Katie's hair. As she reached the door Hank stepped onto the wooden walkway.

"Michaela" he greeted the lady doctor. He cast a wary look down at her stomach, having avoided her for the past few weeks due to the unpleasantness he caused for Dorothy, it was the first time he had viewed the extra inches she had expanded by up close "Sheesh" he summed up his study of her.

Michaela gave him a withering look and self consciously folded her arms across her protruding middle. Hank quietly set the chair he had been carrying beside her.

"What's this?" Michaela asked curious as to why one of the Gold Nugget wicker armchairs should suddenly be brought over to her.

"It's a tair Mama" Katie informed her reaching her hand up to pull one of Michaela's down to her level.

"Sully asked ta borrow it" Hank muttered, kicking the dirt with the toe of his shoe. "He had ta go speak to Grace, asked me to bring it over along with blondie here" he nodded down at Katie "She's a fire cracker" he gave Michaela a warm smile "takes after you, looks like ya too which is a good thing for her"

Michaela relaxed under his complement. She waved her hand, fanning herself as a wave of heat passed over her.

"Here" Hank reached into his back pocket and held out a simple fan. "Was gonna give it ta the girl who did the best tonight but you look like ya need it more"

"Thank you" Michaela took the wooden fan "I don't understand why Sully would need to borrow a chair we have plenty at home" she changed the subject, uncomfortable with Hank's change in demeanour, she wanted to be angry at him because of the pain he had caused Dorothy, but with his thoughtful act of kindness it was proving impossible.

"Dunno" Hank shrugged

"Yes you do" Katie ratted him out "Papa told you its coz..." she silenced herself by slamming her hands over her mouth; she raised her shoulders to her ears in amusement "I forgets. It's secwet"

"Secret?" Michaela looked from Katie to Hank.

"Michaela" Dorothy interrupted her questioning. She paused at the sight of Hank "Hank" her tone dropped dangerously.

"I'l let ya get on" Hank muttered, slinking away, clearly not comfortable to be under the gaze of the two women.

"I go wit Anty Dorotee now" Katie let go of Michaela's hand and rushed to Dorothy, wrapping her arms around Dorothy's knees.

"Dorothy, what's going on?" Michaela questioned her friend, thoroughly confused by all that was happening.

"I told Sully I would watch Katie until Brian finished school" she smiled kindly at Michaela.

"But..." Michaela started, frustrated to be kept out of the loop of something which involved her children. The familiar sound of the wagon approaching, made her stop.

Sully gave her a beaming smile as he pulled Bear to a halt, he jumped effortlessly down. "Hey" he greeted her, kissing her gently.

"What's going on Sully?" Michaela asked.

With a smile Sully lifted the borrowed chair and set it in the back of the wagon, "surprise" he told her cryptically "Come here Katie girl" he held his hand out for his daughter. Once she was in his arms he hugged her tightly, lowering his voice "You gonna be good for Dorothy"

"Yup"

"And ya gonna be good for Grace an' Robert E?"

"Yup" Katie nodded emphatically "I gonna pwactise on Fweddie"

"Good" Sully kissed her on the forehead, before releasing her "Say goodbye ta ya Ma"

"Goodbye?" Michaela looked at her husband thoroughly puzzled.

"Yup" Katie hugged her mother's legs tightly. "Bye Mama, wove you" she gently patted Michaela's belly "bye baby, be good"

"Now up ya get" Sully approached Michaela, gently guiding her to the wagon.

"I want to know what's going on" she protested, as she began to climb into the wagon.

"Then ya'll spoil ya surprise" Sully kissed her sweetly. "You'll know soon, trust me"

* * *

Sully glanced to his right, Michaela's eyes were closed her face creased with discomfort. He slowed the wagon slightly, lessening the bouncing movement that they were experiencing as they made their way along the dirt track.

"Sorry" he muttered to her

She slowly opened her eyes and exhaled through pursed lips "It's alright" she frowned, having had her eyes closed as she tried to combat the discomfort and nausea she was experiencing from the journey, she had lost her bearings completely.

"Takin ya to the lake" Sully told her "we'll be there in a few minutes"

Michaela closed her eyes again, and returned to trying to resist the urge to vomit. She did not open her eyes again until the wagon pulled to a halt. Carefully she peeled her eyes open. The lake was deserted, just the sound of nature and Bear as he grumbled in the heat. She rose and climbed down from the wagon, Sully's supportive hands holding her back and her skirt up. Now that they had stopped moving her nausea was passing. "Why are we here Sully?"

He smiled and kissed her softly "You've been real hot, and keep saying ya feel real heavy so I thought a swim might make ya feel better"

Michaela glanced out across the still surface of the lake, it looked so cool and inviting. "I don't have anything to wear" Michaela considered "My bathing suit will be..." she was silenced by a kiss.

"Ya don't need ta wear anything" Sully told her softly "No one here ta see ya. An' if ya want I'll make sure I ain't looking while you get in. I'll get the picnic set up" he gently began to undo her dress "Now relax" he smiled as she didn't brush his hands away to stop him. Quickly he undid the buttons on her dress and assisted her in pulling it over her head.

"Thank you Sully" she whispered softly, indicating she now wanted to remove the remainder of her clothes alone.

She waited until her husband's back was turned before she began removing her some of her undergarments. She had forgone wearing her chemise; even the largest one she could purchase in the store was too small for her now. Instead she had resorted to wearing a simple harness around her breasts, almost like a sling to provide them support. She carefully removed her back saving belt and waddled towards the water. She refused to go in naked, unable to believe that they wouldn't be joined by someone else who had had the same idea as her husband; as such she kept her bloomers and harness on.

She slowly paddled into the water and gave a sigh of relief the cool water washing over her feet. She paused, confronted with a new problem, the base of the lake was slippery and sludgy as it sloped gently towards it's true depth, but where she stood the water was not yet deep enough to swim. Not wanting to fall she remained standing where she was. After a few minutes Sully joined her, silently taking her arms and leading her firmly and securely into a depth where she could experience some comfort. She sighed contently, the water cooling her skin and supporting her, taking away some of the weight she had been feeling.

"Here" Sully stepped behind her, pressing his bare chest against her shoulders "lie back" he gently coaxed her to lie back so that she was floating, her belly breaking the surface like some fleshy island.

Michaela smiled, with Sully's arms supporting her head and shoulders she felt safe and most importantly light, she was free from the weighty burden she was carrying every second of the day.

"It's hazy" she commented staring up at the grey blue sky.

Sully followed her gaze "probably all the dust. You feelin' OK?"

"Yes" she sighed contently "I feel like myself, just a bit bulky round the middle" she laughed slightly "A lot bulky round the middle" she lowered her legs, her eyes widened as she realised they had moved out of her depth.

"It's alright I got ya" Sully soothed holding her gently "I can still touch the bottom" he assured her, holding her tightly "Did ya want ta swim?"

"No" she smiled leaning her head to rest on his shoulder "I'm perfectly content with floating"

They remained in the water for a while, every so often Michaela changing her position, alternating between lying on her back and snuggling close to Sully.

"Michaela" Sully whispered to her, as she floated on her back with her eyes closed "We should get out, otherwise we're gonna be prunes"

"If we must" she sighed with disappointment. She lowered her legs and allowed him to drag her closer to the shore until she was able to feel the ground with her feet. Slowly she lumbered out of the water, Sully holding her hands so that she wouldn't fall. She groaned as she felt her unwelcome weight return to her. Sully led her up the bank to the area he had set up for them, a blanket covering the ground with the borrowed chair at one edge, a large picnic basket in the centre.

"Let's get you dried" Sully whispered moving back the wagon and returning with a towel in his arms and one wrapped round his waist, he grinned at her.

"You're looking very pleased with yourself" Michaela smiled at him as he wrapped her in the large soft towel.

"Ya look happy" he told her "That's what I wanted" he kissed her lightly, his hands gently rubbing to the tops of her arms "I wanted ya ta have a chance to relax 'fore the baby gets here, figured that while its warm, we could do it as much as ya need"

"That would be nice" she sighed "I must admit I experienced a great deal of relief"

"Then that's good" Sully smiled and led her to the wicker chair, he helped her lower herself down and moved to the basket. "Got Grace ta make ya favourite and I got these" he lifted a small box out.

"Chocolate truffles" Michaela recognised the box.

"Thought you'd like a treat" he lifted the lid for her to choose one.

"You're spoiling me" she tenderly stroked his damp hair.

"It's only right" Sully leant forward and kissed her bare belly before looking up at her and kissing her hungrily on the mouth.

"What about the children?" she asked taking one of the small round chocolates.

"Staying with Grace an' Robert E tonight, we'll have the house to ourselves" Sully returned the box to the basket.

Michaela swallowed her chocolate "You thought of everything" she gasped and reached for one of Sully's hands pressing his wide palm against her stomach were the baby was kicking frantically "I think the baby likes chocolate"

"Sure does" Sully beamed as he felt his child "Got her Ma's dancing feet too" he noticed Michaela's eyebrows raise "Hey you keep calling the baby a boy, someone gotta fight her corner if the baby's a girl," he kissed her softly. He returned his attention to the basket "Now, let's eat this food" he looked up at her offering her a plate, "Caela, you alright?"

She shifted slightly in her chair "I'm fine," she told him unconvincingly, at his raised eyebrow she continued, admitting her worry to him "I'm wondering how I'm going to get through the next six weeks"

"Maybe you should stop working" Sully tested the subject, he knew that she was resisting stopping work with some kind of iron will. As he expected she shook her head "It's only two weeks earlier then you planned" he reasoned

"I can't stop working Sully" Michaela whispered quietly "I'll fret too much" she shifted again.

"What have you got to fret about?" Sully asked gently

She sighed and gently cupped his face with her hand "You know what. And I know you will tell me that I'll do fine, and you'll love me no matter what I look like and you'll be there to help me. But I can't help it; it's always there in back of my mind"

Sully softly kissed her hand "What can I do to help?" he frowned as he watched a tear roll down her cheek "Hey" he raised himself to his knees, tenderly he brought one hand up to brush her tears away, the other resting softly on her belly "It's alright" he whispered, not really sure what else he could say. Her moods were so erratic at present, one minute happy the next minute sad or angry. "I know, let me get ya back home, then I can wait on ya hand an' foot"

She smiled weakly "Does that mean I'll get a foot massage?"

"An' a back massage" he leant up and kissed her, relieved to see her tired eyes spark with anticipated pleasure "An' any other type of massage ya want"

"Sound wonderful" Michaela leant forward her pensive mood drifting away.

"Good" Sully bounced to his feet, buoyed by the thought of an evening of intimacy with his wife. "Now lets get ya dressed so I can take ya home"

"You don't need to do everything for me" Michaela protested as he busied himself with getting her clothes.

"Well I need to take care of ya" Sully countered returning to her side and gently towelling the remaining moisture from her skin.

Michaela tried to take the towel from him "I'm not an invalid"

"Nope ya not" he leant up and tenderly kissed her "Ya my very pregnant wife, who's working very hard to grow my baby, so it's my job to look after ya,"

"You don't need to do everything" she reiterated

"I know" he carefully removed the towel from her body and moved to stand behind her, gently he teased her sopping wet hair from behind her and began to dry it, paying particular attention to her scalp, his firm fingers massaging the skin beneath the auburn tresses "I want to"

* * *

Katie stirred as she heard Freddie fussing in the room next door. She yawned and slipped out from between Brian's arms. The room was dark, the window covered with a thick black out curtain, following her usual routine she crossed to the window and drew back the curtain, exactly like her Mama did every morning. She stared out the window beaming up at the pretty sky, a mixture of orange fading a way to pinky purple and the pale light of dawn. She yawned and turned back to the bed watching her brother sleep on, his face buried in the pillow, able to sleep through the noise of the baby next door. She frowned as she heard the sound of a bell ringing, confused as she knew it was Saturday and a bell was supposed to mean going to church which she knew happened on a Sunday.

Robert E burst into the room, a sleeping Samantha in his arms. "Hey Katie" he greeted the child.

"What's wong?" Katie asked noticing his deep frown.

Robert E forced his face to relax and set Samantha in the space on the bed that Katie had recently vacated. "Horace is just gonna wire a few people, needs us to watch Samantha" he smiled awkwardly "Now Grace is feedin' Freddie, an I'm just gonna go out an' see what I can do about getting those bells quiet" he casually tapped Brian. "Brian, son wake up"

"Wha?" Brian muttered raising his head from the pillow, he stared around the room bleary eyed, before registering that the little girl beside him was not his sister. "What?"  
"Brian I need ya to get up and get ya sister dressed" Robert E ordered the teenager as calmly as he could manage.

"Why?" Brian asked still coming too. Robert E silently raised his arm and pointed at the window.

The boy took a moment to study the colours of the sky before jumping out of bed in alarm "Is that...?"

"Yeah" Robert E placed a calming hand on the boy's shoulder "I'm gonna go see what I can find out"

"What about Ma and Sully?"

Robert E bit his lip and shrugged "I don't know son, but Sully will make sure they're alright don't you worry"

* * *

Sully was woken by a persistent tapping on his bare chest.

"Sully" Michaela's voice was insistent.

"What?" he sat bolt upright "Is it the baby?"

"No" she shifted herself to the edge of the bed and rocked back and forth getting her momentum up before she stood. "You were lying on my hair, and I need to get to the privy" she waddled from the room as quickly as she could.

Sully exhaled and lay back down onto his single pillow, last night had been fantastic, the swim had obviously relaxed Michaela enough that she allowed him to see her fully naked, she had even put up with not being able to breathe properly for a while. They had not gone the whole way but there had been a lot of holding and kissing and touching, and in a way that was worth more to him then the quick climaxes they came to during relations. The sustained contact, the hugging and snuggling, their lips finding each other's and trailing across each other's bodies was much more fulfilling. Granted he had been more energetic then his cumbersome wife and had spent most of the time pleasing her, but that had pleased him also, he missed having contact with her in that way. He knew he shouldn't bemoan that intimacy was lacking at present, Michaela was hugely pregnant after all and he was the one to blame for that fact but it was just so satisfying to take joy in his wife body with her, rather than from afar, where he was only able to take surreptitious glances. Michaela's swollen body had certainly taken up a lot of time to cover in kisses, especially as he had to be strategic about where he placed them, but it had definitely been an enjoyable. He sighed happily and rolled out of bed, knowing that as it was so close to the start of the day she would not want to go back to bed or more significantly climb the stairs. He quickly pulled his own clothes on before rummaging in her cabinet for her undergarments and a clean dress and headed out the bedroom door.

Halfway to the stairs he heard her shout his name, her voice full of anguish. He ran down the hallway and took the steps in three giant leaps. He frowned in confusion, he had expected to find her in the kitchen, instead she was stood just outside the side door.

"Michaela?" he dumped her clothing on the kitchen table and strode outside "What are you..." he stopped and stared up at the sky, the grey pinky orange sky. The strong smell of smoke hit him and he reached for her, pulling her tight into his arms. "It's alright"

"Katie and Brian" she whispered through her frightened tears.

"We'll go to town" he assured her kissing the top of her head "I brought a dress down" he spoke his plan before he really had time to formulate it "You get dressed, I'll sort the animals out. Once ya dressed I need ya to think what ya want to take. We don't have much time so don't make it too much alright"

"What are you going to do with the animals?" she whispered, staring at him with confusion.

"The horses we'll tether to the back of the wagon. I'll let the cow out of the barn, that way if can move around and avoid the fire if it spreads here" he winced as he said the words, and the look on Michaela's face told him he should not have uttered them, the horrible distraught look as she realised that they may be about to lose their home.

"Sully we..." she burst into tears.

"It's OK" he hugged her as tightly as he could "I'm sure it will be fine, that's why I want ya to pick things out, not big things, things that mean stuff to ya"

"My rings" she spoke through her tears

"Ya what?"

"My rings" she held out her hands to show him that she was not wearing her engagement, wedding or eternity rings "My fingers are swollen, I had to take them off."

"We'll get ya rings" he assured her "Now go get dressed"

* * *

Horace ran as fast as he could down the street, he could see a small crowd around the bell, townsfolk milling around in various stages of undress.

"Jake!" he called catching sight of the mayor amongst the crowd "Jake!" The tall man pushed his way through the crowd to the barber.

"What is it Horace, and don't tell me there's a fire" Jake hissed

"The line went dead" Horace told him breathlessly "I was sending a wire to Pueblo see if they could see it and the line went dead"

"Damn" Jake banged his thigh with her hand. He looked up "Hank, Robert E get over here" the Mayor stumbled up the steps of the mercantile to where Loren was arguing with someone about how he wasn't going to open the store. Jake seized the man by the collar and pushed him away from Loren.

"What'ya want Jake?" Hank sidled up, a lit cigar hanging from his lips despite the early hour.

"Need ta have a plan" Jake muttered "As town council we gotta decide how we play this"

"Dr Mike ain't here" Loren pointed out

"I know" Jake hissed angrily, his nerves frayed "Reverend" he called to the blind man stood quietly by the door "Fill in for Dr Mike"

"Certainly" The Reverend joined them, pleased to be of use.

"Right," Jake placed his hands on his head, massaging his temples as if it would make him think better. "Hank I want you to sort out with Joe about organising chain gangs for putting out fires if the buildings start going up. Loren, I want you ta speak to Grace, stockpile what food ya got so we can give it out"

"What!" Loren cried out in shock "I ain't giving it away I got a business to run"

"Which ya might not have if the fire spreads here" Jake raised his voice "Speak ta Grace, Reverend I want you to set up some kind of processing, see if we can figure out who's here and who ain't maybe some kind a triage set up, hopefully Dr Mike will get here soon. Get Horace to help ya. Robert E I want you to sort out corralling people, get them over to the meadow, there ain't no buildings there"

"What about you?" Loren griped annoyed that the majority of his stock was about to be wiped out

"I'm gonna deal with Teresa" Jake told him quietly

"That's it" Hank scoffed

Jake shot him an angry look "In case ya ain't noticed she lost her leg because of a fire, has to slather her other one in silver soaked bandages so she don't get an infection. I can't even light a fire in the house because it frightens her. What do you think a whole damn forest fire is gonna do to her?" he shoved past Loren towards the store.  
"She don't know yet?" Hank muttered, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

Jake paused "No, Thought I'd let her sleep, there's no point in scaring her before she needs ta be"

* * *

Sully checked the list that Michaela had given him of things to take, she had listened to him, choosing only those things she thought would be important or needed. A change of clothes for each of the family, her rings, a couple of photographs, Katie's quilt, Flo, Brian's flute, a few of her father's books, several items for the baby. If he wrapped everything inside the quilt it was enough to fill a pack yet he knew if he let her she would take so much more. He quickly double checked he had everything and raced downstairs. Michaela had succeeded in dressing and was now sat in one of the white armchairs battling to put on her shoes.

"I got everything" Sully told her dropping the pack to the floor by the door. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "Michaela I'm sorry" he moved to be beside her, kneeling down and quickly easing her feet into her moccasins. He knew it had been his words that had upset her the most, that until he had spoken she had not thought about the fact that a forest fire could mean they were about to lose their home.

"It's our home Sully" she sobbed trying to lean forward so she could hug him.

He came to her, hugging her as tightly as he dared. "I know" he heard her mumbling something against his chest, unable to decipher the words he kissed her softly "I'm gonna shutter the house" he told her gently "Why don't you get some food for us to eat on the way in ta town" he stood up and moved to the door, eager to get started, get into town.

"Sully" her voice called him back

"Michaela we gotta go" he told her before looking back at her.

She had raised her arms holding them out to him, silently asking for help in rising. He rushed back to her and helped her to stand, they both laughed slightly as her belly bumped into his torso.

"Sorry" she whispered through a smile, for a brief moment the situation forgotten.

"Stood too close." Sully stroked her belly "It's gonna be Ok Michaela, I'm gonna get the two of you safe to town"

"I know" she reached up and caressed his face "When we're with you I know we're safe"

* * *

Preston jumped down from the Chateau carriage he had been driving. "Loren" he called to the shop keeper as the man rushed from the store a crate in his arms.

"What is it Preston?" Loren looked up at the ex banker with a frown "I'm sorta busy right now"

"I was wondering what procedure is now" Preston asked casting a look back at the carriage and the others that were coming to a stop behind his, one driven by James the other by the porter, the guests from the hotel shoved in like sardines along with the ridiculous luggage they had insisted on bringing. "I'm presuming that the train isn't running"

"Nope" Loren muttered moving back into the store. Preston followed him to find Cynthia, Dorothy and Cloud Dancing filling boxes with food and supplies "Telegraphs down too"

"Everyone is going over to the meadow" Dorothy told him glancing up from her packing.

"I will send the guests over" Preston straightened the cuffs on his jacket "I had the staff pack the food from the Chateau, shall I have that taken over too"

"Yep" Loren gave him an acerbic look "But ya won't get paid for it"

"That's Senator Diniston's problem" Preston sighed and picked up one of the packed crates "Is there a particular area this needs to go to"

"Grace is setting up a supply store" Loren hissed dumping a set of blankets on top of the crate the Preston was carrying.

James clattered into the store "Michaela isn't in town yet"

"Still?" Dorothy looked up alarmed

Cloud Dancing closed his crate "I shall go look for her and Sully"

"No ya won't" Loren told him, stepping to block the Cheyenne's path "Jake said no one is allowed to leave town, we don't know where the fire is. They've probably had to find a different way ta get to town. He don't want no one going out and getting trapped. Besides I ain't having you widow her after a few weeks of marriage" he pointed at Dorothy and held his ground refusing to move out of the way "Sully will know what to do"

"Oh I hope she don't go into labour" Dorothy whispered, pressing her palms together in silent prayer.

"Indeed" James scratched his head. "I shall be setting up a triage; Brian is in the process of emptying the clinic of supplies"

Preston nodded in understanding "I'll deliver this to Grace and then assist him"

"Oof" James uttered wringing his hands "why is it always fires?" he muttered to himself and rushed from the store.

"What's he yammering about?" Loren asked as he brought an empty crate clattering down on the counter.

"James is from Chicago Loren" Preston fixed the older man with an intense stare "he lost his granddaughter due to the Great fire"

"Oh" Dorothy uttered "How do you know that?"

"I live with the man, work with the man" Preston told her flippantly

"Aww Preston you got a friend" Hank needled as he walked into the store

Preston faked a wide smile "Yes Hank which is I'm sure one more then you"

Hank smirked and watched the other man exit the store "Loren you got any buckets?"

Loren sighed with disapproving acceptance "Over there. Lemme guess I ain't gonna get paid for those either"

"Got it in one" Hank strode over to beside Cloud Dancing where Loren had indicated the buckets were located "Hey CD give me a hand would ya"

"What did you call him?" Dorothy scurried over intent on defending her new husband.

Hank seized a stack of buckets and looked up at her "C D it's his initials, sposed to save my breath givin him a nickname. Breath which I'm wasting explainin it to you. Thought you were sposed to be smart Dorothy"

"I do not mind Dorothy" Cloud Dancing soothed his wife "A nickname is a term of endearment is it not, H"

Hank smirked "Whatever"

The sound of dreadful screeching reached the store and the five inside turned to look towards the barber shop

"He's told her" Loren intoned

"Perhaps I should go" Cloud Dancing looked at the buckets in his hands "I may be able to help"

"Worth a shot" Hank held out his arm to take the stack from the Indian "Though I never heard Jake bein able ta get her ta do nothing"

* * *

Cloud Dancing slowly made his way up the Slicker's staircase. He had been able to make out their voices as soon as he had entered the barber shop, Jake's low and calm, Teresa's high and rapid, jabbering away in Spanish, her words flowing so quickly that Cloud Dancing was not able to pick out a single word from another.

He cautiously pushed open the bedroom door, his action causing Teresa to scream, Cloud Dancing held his hands out indicating to the frightened woman that he meant no harm.

"What do you want?" Jake hissed getting up from the bed to put himself between Cloud Dancing and Teresa.

"I have come to help" Cloud Dancing told him quietly, remaining just inside the doorway.

"I can carry Teresa myself" Jake folded his arms, clearly displeased that Cloud Dancing was in his bedroom.

"I did not come to help with that" Cloud Dancing sighed and took a step forward "I came to help Mrs Slicker find her strength"

"Strength" Jake scoffed "She's frightened not weak..."

"Jake" Teresa stopped her husband from continuing.

"You are frightened" Cloud Dancing took a cautious step forward, he turned his focus onto Teresa, ignoring Jake who stood angrily to one side "You must find what gives you strength to overcome this fear." He tilted his head observing the woman in the bed, he had never really met Teresa but he could tell that the accident had done more than cause the woman too lose her leg. Outwardly he could see that the months spent inside had made her lose her bloom, her olive skin had paled, her months of inactivity causing her muscles to atrophy and her body to become frail, but internally that was where the real damage was, she had lost her spirited, her essence, her fear of fire crushing the brave spirit she once possessed.

"I used to find strength in God" Teresa whispered, her breathing beginning to calm as she focussed of the Medicine man.

"You have lost your faith" Cloud Dancing surmised taking a step towards the bed. Teresa looked down to the space on the bed where her leg should have been, Cloud Dancing did not give her the chance to speak, instead he took another step closer to the bed, almost within reach of it "I lost my faith too" slowly he peeled back the sleeves of his top, revealing his scars to Teresa "I watched my life drain away and I felt I would never live again, never love again, never be part of a family."

"You are still able to do many things" Teresa pointed out "I am stuck"

"You are not stuck you are healing" Cloud Dancing knelt beside her, drawing her hand into his "Perhaps we must heal your spirit also"

"How?" Teresa asked, all her attention on the Indian in front of her, enthralled by his every word.

"What brings you joy?" Cloud Dancing gently

"Jake" she looked up at her husband, "and reading with Katie and Samantha, las chicas are the highlight of my week."

"You enjoy listening to them" Cloud Dancing tightened his grip making her turn her head and look back at him "You enjoy teaching them"

"Yes, it reminds me of what I have lost" she sighed "I miss the school and my students; I spent much time with them"

"Teacher" Cloud Dancing released her hand "in my language vovéstomósanéhe"

"Profesor" Teresa smiled "In Spanish teacher is profesor, now" she gestured at her legs "lisiado, a cripple"

Cloud Dancing shook his head "No, Vovéstomósanéhe, you have taught me a Spanish word, it is one more then I knew before I walked in here"

"How can I be a teacher if I remain in bed?" Teresa looked at him "You want me to bring my students into my room, Si? I should teach them from mi cama"

Cloud Dancing and rose and indicated the room, the pictures that Jake had plastered haphazardly around the room, presents from her students "You have not taught these children for months but you still call them 'my' and they care for you by bringing you their drawings, their love expressed in colour and shapes." he paused "These children will be frightened, _your_ children will be frightened"

"I cannot go out in the fire" Teresa shook her head fearfully.

"Is it not your way to protect the ones you love? Is it not the way of children to protect those they care for? I have seen it many times. There will be plenty of people to help you, carry you, even the smallest child would attempt to keep you from harm, even when they are frightened beyond words a boy would allow himself to burn to save your life, how would it be different now?"

Teresa looked up at Cloud Dancing at his inference to Brian and his actions which ultimately meant she was still alive. "Iré, I will go" she whispered quietly her head sagging as she submitted.

Jake gave Cloud Dancing a curt nod in thanks and moved in to scoop his wife into his arms before she had a chance to rethink.

Cloud Dancing stepped between Jake and the door, his hand reaching out and lightly touching Teresa's hand. "I will pray to the Spirits for you"

"no entiendo" Teresa looked at him confusion "You lost your faith, did you not tell me that you lost it?"

Cloud Dancing gave her a small smile "It found me" he released her hand and held open the door so that Jake could navigate the frame more easily "Just as yours will find you"

* * *

The door to the clinic opened and Brian looked up expectantly, hoping that it would be her. His face fell as Preston walked quietly in. The older man walked up to the cabinet containing the linen and without instruction began filling a wicker basket with the cloth. The two men worked in silence, working quickly to empty the clinic of anything that could be of use. Brian lowered his full box to the floor and studied Preston, the other man was sat on the floor, his coat flung carelessly on the cot, his shirt sleeves untucked, waistcoat unbuttoned, a world away from what he used to look like when he first arrived in Colorado Springs.

"Did you need help with something?" Preston asked glancing up from his position on the floor. He smiled, there was definitely something to be said about nurture over nature, even though he knew that the teenager had no biological link to Sully or Michaela, Preston could see them staring out at him through the boy's concerned eyes, see Sully's compassion and Michaela's curiosity peering out through the wide blue pools.

"I'm just thinking" Brian looked away, almost as if he was embarrassed to be caught looking at Preston "wondering why ya helping me?"

"It's something that needs doing" Preston told him simply, reaching for another basket in order that he could empty the cabinet into it. "I'm sure the supplies will be needed, though I doubt James will know what to do with nettles"

"Ma will be here soon!" Brian bleated, bringing the bottle in his hand down with unnecessary force causing the glass to shatter.

Preston was on his feet in an instant, his pocket square extended to Brian to stop the flow of blood from a tiny cut on the palm. Gently Preston pressed the fabric into the boy's palm. "I'm certain she will"

"She will" Brian asserted, wincing slightly at the pressure Preston was placing on his hand.

"I have no doubt" Preston lifted the fabric up a fraction to check to see if the blood was still flowing "You're mother is the most remarkable woman I've ever met"

"And Sully will look after her. I just hope she ain't having the baby" Brian sighed and brushed Preston's hand away.

"You are the second person to say that" Preston told him with a smile

"Well she had Katie when she went to find Sully" Brian reasoned.

"She was considerably further along in her pregnancy" Preston attempted to comfort the boy.

"Only four weeks more, she's got less than six weeks left now" Brian frowned and ran his fingers through his hair, gasping with pain as he caught his cut on a few strands of hair that felt like razors.

Preston raised his hand to Brian's shoulder "Your mother will be fine"

"You don't know that" Brian shrugged out of his grip

Preston let the boy walk away from him before he spoke "She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness."

"You mean she's strong?" Brian studied the other man.

Preston nodded slowly "Yes, your mother is strong"

* * *

Michaela waved her arm with her eyes closed, trying to find Sully's arms to get him to stop the wagon. They were travelling at speed; bumping and bouncing down the track with such ferocity that she was feeling incredibly nauseated. It didn't help that the wagon's seat did not grant her the ability to be able to lean back properly meaning that she was sat upright, the baby pressing firmly down against her bladder and up against her stomach and lungs. She knew that the speed was necessary but she had to stop else she was sure something untoward would occur.

She opened her eyes as Sully slowed the wagon to a halt, exhaling through pursed lips she looked across at his concerned face "Sorry" she mumbled "I have to stop for a moment." she inhaled sharply, speaking had been a mistake, turning as best she could, she vomited over the side of the wagon. Sully was beside her in an instant, sliding his body across the seat to press against her and thoughtfully hold her loose hair out of the way. Her stomach empty she sat straight, she felt better now; her body was obviously not able to process food when she was so worried and upset or her stomach so cramped. Sully offered her a canteen of water and she took it, taking a cooling, calming sip. She closed her eyes again letting the water soothe her acid burnt oesophagus. It was no help that she could smell the fire, not just the burning of wood and detritus but the smell of animals caught in the flames, their burning carcasses attacking her pregnancy induced heightened sense of smell. She wanted to cry, hot angry tears of fear and despair, but she lacked the energy to even do that. She remained as still as possible; her eyes closed trying to prevent herself from breathing through her nose by taking small measured breaths through her mouth.

Her eyes jerked open as the back of the wagon bounced, Sully's horse was beginning to spook, the eerie crackles and pops emanating from the burning woods frightening the animal.

"Michaela" Sully touched her gently "We have to move, we can't stay here"

"I know" she replied, running her hand across her face as she felt the heat of the fire that they could not see, but could hear and smell "What about Bear?"

Sully placed a comforting arm around her "He'll be fine, I blinkered him and he's as deaf as anything. Did ya wanna sit in the back, it might be more comfortable for ya?" he asked as he gently stroked her belly in his calming way.

"No" she whispered weakly, although she was sure she would be more comfortable she wanted to be near him, their feet touching each others, safe in his proximity.

Michaela sighed and looked back at the two horses tethered to the back of the wagon. Flash whinnied and flicked her head almost telling them to go on, the horse was almost calm, her deep brown eyes fearful but seemingly refusing to act upon it. Sully's horse was another matter, it was becoming agitated, pulling at its tether and jolting the wagon, obviously terrified about what was happening around them.

Sully flicked Bear's reins and they moved off at a slightly decreased speed then before, Sully eager to get her safely to town, away from the fire that seemed to be on all sides.

* * *

The Reverend placed his hand out to touch the agitated little girl beside him. For the last hour he had been shoved from pillar to post as he went from one job to the next, getting something going only for someone else to turn up and shoo him along as they could do it faster. In the end it had been Grace who had taken pity on him asking him to 'watch' the children, so she could finish auditing everything that had been brought in, from the cafe, the mercantile and what people had brought from their homesteads. Most of the children were near their parents, and he had been left with Freddie, who was asleep and blissfully unaware of what was happening, Samantha, who was carefully helping a nearby James by rolling bandages and Katie. He could feel the nervousness radiating off Sully and Michaela's child, every once in a while hear the shudder in her breath as she bravely fought to hold off her tears. She was standing and sitting in quick rotation, drawn by every approaching wagon or buggy to check if it held her parents, but so far none had.

Each person who passed the small group as they went about their allotted task, would pause for a moment to tell Katie that her parents would be there soon, but he could tell that the child did not believe them, not even her brother.

Katie broke from his touch as the sound of another wagon filtered to him, from the voices of the newcomers he could tell it was some of the Voss' the closest things that the Sully's had to neighbours. He heard the young child sigh, he held out his arm for her, when she did not take his hand he lowered it, only to find a moment later that her small hand touched his folded knee. He had not heard her approach, though he was a little shocked by her silent touch it did not surprise him considering how stealthy Sully could be when needed. Wordlessly Katie climbed onto his lap, leaning her torso against his, her head resting heavily against his chest.

"They will be here soon Katie" he tried to comfort her

Katie sighed before speaking in a quiet voice "I fink they in twouble"

"No" the Reverend shook his head "I'm sure they are fine"

"How you know?" Katie quietly demanded.

The Reverend considered his answer before quoting from the Bible "Yes, the Lord hears the good man when he calls to Him for help, and saves him out of all his troubles. The Lord is close to those whose heart is breaking; He rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins. The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them, too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one." (Psalms 34:17-19)

Katie's head lifted away from his chest "Don unnerstan"

"God will protect them" The Reverend tried to explaining, realising that it was probably a mistake to quote the Bible to an almost 3 year old child. He bit his lip considering what to say next but all the while imagining what expression Katie would be wearing on her face. Even though he could not see her and had not seen her since she was an infant, due to the amount that Loren spoke of her and the way in which Loren talked about her he felt as though he knew every expression and nuance.

"Wan Mama" Katie mumbled tears forming in her eyes her voice trembling "See need to be here," Suddenly Katie slipped from his lap, her attention drawn to another approaching vehicle. "See not here" her voice became mournful and the Reverend could tell there was only seconds until she burst into tears.

"Katie" Dorothy's voice found them, her soft lilting accent surrounding them like a comfort blanket.

"Mama not here"

The Reverend sighed as he heard her tiny frightened voice, wishing he could make her voice laugh again. He heard Dorothy lift the child into her arms, the red haired lady's comforting words filling his ears, her choice of phrases something only a mother would think to use, phrases that provided not only comfort to the now sobbing little girl but also to him as he sat in the dark listening to the fire encroach in them, wishing he could see what they were facing.

* * *

Jake peered through the window of the last shop, checking it was empty, before moving to cross to the meadow.

"Get out of here" he heard Hank snarled and he turned to see the barman through a local out of the saloon onto the dirt street.

"Hank get ta the meadow" Jake ordered as Hank turned to re-enter the Gold Nugget.

"One sec" Hank called over his shoulder entering the building before exiting momentarily with a canvas bag.

"What was he doin?" Jake nodded after the man who Hank had thrown out.

"Wanted a drink" Hank smirked, flicking open his watch to check the time "Told him I ain't open till at least 10" he sighed "by rights I should still be in my pit. Feels like we been through the day already"

Jake nodded in agreement as the two men crossed the bridge. It was still only 7 in the morning a time at which the town would normally be waking up, but for the last 2 and a bit hours the town had woken and emptied, deserting for what may come. Jake brushed his blue coat clean, the ash had started to fall only ten minutes earlier, and somehow even though he knew that Teresa would be coated in the same unnatural precipitation he felt he should at least look clean for her. "What you got in that bag?" Jake asked trying to fill the silence, the bag that Hank was carrying look ridiculously light,

"Photos, couple bits of jewellery, Zack's paintings" Hank gave Jake a sideways look "Guess I figured that's what's important to me"

"Not ya whisky and ya wallet" Jake retorted

"Hey everyone else is about ta lose everything, why should I be any different" Hank smirked.

Together the two men crossed the bridge and made their way to the crowd. As they neared they began to slow down, curious as to why every member of the crowd was staring at them open mouthed. Finally Hank turned, the crowd was not looking at them, but instead the rich, hungry orange flames that had appeared over the tops of the roofs and trees. The crowd had fallen to silence and for the first time he could hear the roar of the fire, the sound of the monster knocking at their door.

The silence was punctuated by a shout followed by a scuffle as Brian rushed forward, the sight of the flames spurring him into action. Hank dropped his bag and caught the boy as he ran towards the bridge, surprised by the teen's strength as he tried to free himself

"Easy kid" Hank clamped his arms around Brian's torso, preventing him from lashing out with his arms.

"Ma's not here, I gotta go find her" Brian cried struggling to get out of Hank's strong grip.

"I need ya to take care of ya sister" Jake dismissed the idea sending a worried look over to the assembled crowd, those that made up the core of the town staring at him with concern, worried by the fact that Dr Mike was not there, their fear palpable for the pregnant lady doctor's safety.

* * *

Michaela clutched her stomach in fear, as if her arms would provide her unborn any extra protection from the chaos around them. After their initial burst of speed they had been forced to slow to a crawl, with detritus falling from the forest they had been forced to negotiate the wagon around all manner of things, and the normal half hour journey into town had taken them double that already. It did not help that the horses were spooking, even the dependable Bear, who was bravely soldiering on despite the fact that the horse had trodden on an ember, burning his foot.

The smoke was thick now, to the point that Sully had ripped his shirt sleeves off so that they could use them as masks. She was glad she had worn her duster as well, as the embers and ash were falling hard now covering them in a grey blanket. The heat from the fire was enormous, and even though they could not see it they knew that the fire was almost upon them.

She squealed slightly as Flash rammed her chest against the wagon, shoving the vehicle, urging Bear to move faster, the animal kept up her pace, forcing the wagon and its occupants to move faster.

For a second the roar of the fire seemed to dissipate and in its place a deep bellow of an old tree losing its battle against the fire, the creak and the groan and the snap as it bent and broke. The air began to rush past them and they turned looking towards their left as the tree came crashing through the forest and slamming down onto the road behind and above them.


	13. The Fire Part 2

_Thanks Tatiana for review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story._

_Now because it's done, because I hate cliffhangers as much as you I'm posting this a day early, next Chapter will be posted next Thursday as usual but feeling nice today.  
_

_Quick recap for those who want the reminder. HUGE forest fire, Michaela and Sully are trying to get into town while the rest of town is evacuating to the meadow. (Katie and Brian are already in town) and the last section saw a tree fall over and around the wagon._

_So without further ado The Fire Part 2 let me know what you think._

_Kate_

_x_

* * *

The Fire Part 2

Michaela sat frozen in terror, she was tilted upwards in her seat, the back of the wagon seeming crushed beneath the tree branches. Her eyes were jammed closed, and she couldn't open them, wouldn't open them, just as she wouldn't listen to the noises around her. All attention, every ounce of her being was focused on one thing, the horrible almost aching stillness in her womb. She remained motionless, she could have sat for seconds she could have sat for hours, time had no meaning to her. Finally she felt something, a tiny nudge by what felt like an elbow. Michaela exhaled in relief, her fingers moving to probe the firm surface of her belly, her own action was a catalyst and the baby started kicking and punching her with beautiful force. The veil of terror lifted and everything came rushing back into her, the noise, the smells, the heat. Her eyes snapped open. Her vantage point was disorientating, staring up at the smoke filled sky instead of a view of a smoke filled road. Slowly she shifted towards the edge of the wagon, wincing as she felt the wood give slightly, almost waiting for her weight to crash through the broken boards. "Sully" she called out, her fear rising again as she realised his hadn't appeared. She slowly clambered down from the wagon, purposefully keeping her eyes on Bear who in the accident had broken loose from the wagon to prevent herself from looking back. The large animal stared back at Michaela with sad brown eyes reacting to the noises of the other horses, Michaela knew the animals would have been struck by the branches, but her thoughts were on Sully. She stumbled around the front of her ruined wagon "Sully!" she called for her husband again. She paused as caught sight of him, lying on the ground on his stomach propped up on his arms, shaking his head as if he was trying to clear it. She moved to him, and clasping her belly, awkwardly knelt on the ground beside him.

"Sully" she repeated, lightly touching his back. He turned to her wincing with his movement. "Sully" she repeated her hands reaching out to check the wound on his forehead from where he had struck it on the road.

"Caela" Sully whispered staring at her bleary eyed "You OK?" his hand reached out, not to touch her face but to touch her bulging belly.

Michaela caught his hand, guiding his palm to press where she felt the most movement "We're fine" she assured him.

"Were ya thrown?" he asked levering himself upright.

"No" she frowned as he continued to move "Be careful"

"I'm fine" he told her, leaning forward and kissing her with relief and joy that she was OK. "Probably got thrown coz I was turned to see what Flash was doin"

The noise of an animal screaming made them turn and they watched with surprise as Flash managed to extricate herself from the fallen tree branches. The animal cried in pain as she stood before limping slowly over to stand between them and the woods. Michaela gasped as she saw the gaping wound on her faithful horse's flank.

"I'll get ya bag" Sully pushed himself to his feet; he swayed slightly as his body fought his movement.

"Sully, I need to..." Michaela paused as she battled to stand up with nothing to lean on, she grunted softly with the effort; "I need to check you for injury" she stood upright and moved towards him. He was stood at the wagon, his eyes cast widely down to stare at his horse, his forehead creasing as he took in the animal's suffering.

Michaela pressed her belly into the small of his back pinning him against the wagon, using their child to help her keep its father from moving off and causing himself more damage. She began to conduct her examination from behind, checking his limbs for injury, she found none. She took a step back allowing her to be able to turn him. She pressed her fingers into his skull checking for a fracture,

"How many fingers do you see?" she held up two fingers in front of his blue eyes, her own intensely studying his reaction.

"Two" he leant forward and kissed her tenderly, assuring her of his wellbeing more than words could "I'm fine, see to Flash" he handed her her medical bag "I'll see to Mo'éhno'ha"

Michaela nodded, Sully very rarely called his horse by its given name, only ever using it when something was wrong. She looked away slightly as he fingered his knife, knowing what he was about to do, knowing it had to be done as the animal was suffering but wishing that her husband could be spared from having to carrying the task out.

* * *

Dorothy lovingly stroked Katie's back, the little girl's tears had decreased to a shuddering sob once every couple of minutes. The child had been far easier to calm then her older brother, no doubt because Katie had no real concept of the danger her parents were in, she of course knew it was bad that her parents weren't here with everyone else and she knew that fire burnt but to say to an almost 3 year old that the forest was burning meant nothing as Katie did not really have a sense of scale.

Brian on the other hand was beside himself, the teenager was crouched his hands pulling at his hair, unable to look up at anyone or anything. A sort of protective guard had formed around him, to stop him from running away to try and find his parents. The troupe of Loren, Robert E, Cloud Dancing and surprisingly Hank were stood in a square surrounding him, their eyes firmly fixed on the boy watching every movement he made.

Dorothy wondered if Brian's reaction to the waiting was partly why Katie had started her crying fit. That and the fact that Katie had got very upset over James treating the stragglers who were making it into town bleating in the moments that her tears had abated that it was "Mama's job". It amused Dorothy that Katie considered her mother the only doctor, and in a way she almost agreed with the child, as she did not like the thought of having to see another doctor while Michaela was off on maternity leave even though she knew that James was an excellent physician.

"Anty Dorotee" Katie whispered "Bwrian sad"

"Yes Angel he is" Dorothy tenderly kissed the child, rocking her gently from one side to the other

"I sad too" she buried her face into Dorothy's chest, her body shuddering as she bravely fought off her tears. Dorothy held her waiting for the tears to come but they didn't "It bweakfasttime?" Katie asked looking up

"Are you hungry?" Dorothy asked, she made to stand up so that she could take Katie to get some food from Grace

"Nope" Katie shook her head

Dorothy smiled "Then why did you ask Angel?"

Katie took a deep breath "Papa say he see me aftah bweakfasttime"

Dorothy swallowed back her discomfort "No Angel it's not breakfast time" she told the child, half lying about the time, at nearly 8.30 she supposed that this time would be classed as breakfast time, a very late breakfast time "It's still early, it just feels like it should be after breakfast time because we have been up for so long"

"So Papa not late den" Katie reasoned relaxing in Dorothy's arms.

"No Angel" Dorothy closed her eyes preventing her own tears from spilling "Your Papa isn't late"

* * *

Michaela finished stitching the wound on Flash's flank. The animal whinnied softly to her almost as if it was saying Thank you. Michaela smiled up at her horse, glad that she was alright especially seeing as what Sully had to do with his.

"How's she doing?" Sully asked kneeling beside his wife.

Michaela nodded her head as she began wiping her hands clean on a rag "It should heal nicely, she won't be able to be ridden for a while" she glanced down at her abdomen "But that isn't really a problem" she glanced sideways at Sully, surprised to see his knife in his hand, the silver metal surface glistening red with the blood of his horse. She held out the rag to him.

"Thanks" Sully took the rag from her and quickly wiped the blade clean before stowing it in his belt. He didn't look at her, almost as if he couldn't face her.

"You had to do it Sully" Michaela reached to stroke his temple.

"I know" he muttered, standing, he shrugged himself away from her touch. After a moment he extended his hand to her so that he could help her stand.

"unf" Michaela exclaimed as he pulled her upright with surprising speed, her belly bumping into his torso again like it had first thing this morning. This time he didn't smile, or reach to stroke their child he didn't even react, instead he turned to go retrieve the pack from wreckage of the wagon. Michaela reached out and caught his hand holding him back, making him turn and look at her. She frowned as she saw the look in his eyes for the first time, the look that held the death of his horse, the pain of what he had had to do. Michaela took two swaying steps closing the gap between them and took his listless arms pulling them to rest on her belly. He smiled slightly as the baby wriggled. "You had to do it Sully. It would have been cruel to let Mono'ha suffer"

His smile widened at her mispronunciation "Mo'éhno'ha" he sounded for her

"It would have been cruel to let Mo'éhno'ha suffer" she corrected, she leant forward and did as best she could to hug him, her short arms barely gripping hold of him after she had reached around the protuberance of her middle. "What does it mean?"  
"Horse" Sully said simply. He stepped to her side so that he could hold her. Lovingly he kissed her on the forehead, his lips lingering as he took in her scent, the essence of perfection not marred by the smell of the burning woods. "I ain't got much imagination when it comes ta names" He looked up as Flash noisily got to her feet making noises of pain but moving to join them despite the stitches Michaela had only just put in her leg.

The animal nudged Michaela's arm. "I think she wants us to leave" Michaela stroked Flash's nose.

"She's real protective of ya" Sully reached and rested his palm on Flash's neck "If she hadn't slammed into the wagon..." Sully didn't finish his sentence instead letting his words hung in the air.

Michaela gasped as the true meaning of Sully's words sunk in, if Flash hadn't slammed the wagon, they would have been under the branches, they would have been crushed. "Thank you" she whispered to the horse, reaching and hugging the animal's face. Flash whinnied slightly and sniffed her belly, gently nudging her nose against the swell, indicating to her owner that she wanted her to move.

"See" Sully smiled "Knows ya need looking after" he kissed Michaela sweetly preventing her from protesting that she was not an invalid or a child. He turned quickly and pulled the pack from the destroyed wagon and hitched it onto his back "Now, let's get you onto Bear and I'll hold the reins of both and lead them"

"No" Michaela shook her head emphatically, her arms moving instinctively to cradle her middle "I can't ride Sully"

"I'll lift ya on" Sully reasoned, not understanding the reason for her reluctance "I know it may be uncomfortable but we'll..."

"I can't ride Sully" Michaela interrupted him "Pregnant woman should not ride horses, the danger is too much of a risk, and with the horses so twitchy it increases the likelihood that they may rear and my balance is nonexistent" as if to prove her point she wobbled slightly. She caught herself from falling "Please Sully"

"Alright" he moved to retrieve her medical bag. He handed the small bag to her and looped his arm around her back, supporting her as best he could as he simultaneously grabbed Flash's reins and moved forward to capture Bear. He smiled slightly as Flash moved to put herself between the woods and Michaela, pleased that he had someone to assist him keep Michaela safe, even if it was a horse, as second by second as heat rose and the smoke thickened he knew it would be a battle to get her and his baby safely to town.

* * *

The Reverend brushed his left hand across his forehead sweeping away the hot ember that had landed on his skin. It was times like this he hated the fact he was blind, unable to see what was going on, unable to get himself out of danger. Granted he could hear what was going on, and smell what was going on, probably more keenly then those around him but at times like this sight was need so much. He could not provide his flock with comfort as he had no concept of the destruction and chaos they were witnessing. Slowly he raised himself from his seat and weaved his way through the townsfolk. He found who he sought and stood beside Horace and Samantha in silence.

"Hey Reverend" Horace greeted him breathily

"Horace" He returned the greeting. "Samantha" he reached out to touch the little girl in her father's arms "Can you tell me what you see?"

"Sure thing Reverend" Horace started "You can see the flames..."

"Thank you Horace but I would like Samantha to tell me" The Reverend interrupted. He wanted the clear and uncensored description that only a child could provide.

"The sky is all dark" Samantha started quietly "but it's bright at the same time. There's smoke everywhere, and in the smoke there is bits of fire. It's like when you can see dust in sunlight but that is pretty and this is scary. You can see the fire over the top of the buildings, it's very orange, the most orange thing I've ever seen. It's like it's reaching up to eat the sky. Ow Papa" Samantha stopped and pushed against Horace's hands, her father had subconsciously tightened his grip on her, squeezing her leg tightly.

The Reverend took a calming breath, Samantha's description allowing him to paint a mental picture of what was happening around them.

"The wind has stopped" Samantha added

"Yeah" Horace agreed "It's real still almost like something is about ta happen" The Reverend jumped as Horace placed his hand on his shoulder "Ya think this is judgement day Reverend?"

"No" The Reverend shook his head vehemently dismissing the notion

"Its just a fire Papa" Samantha soothed her father's fears "A very big and scary fire"

* * *

The cracking sound resonated above the sound of burning wood, a burst of flame shot out in front of them showering them in hot ash and embers, startled, Bear reared in terror before taking off down the dirt track in fear. The sudden action as the horse rose threw Michaela off balance and she stumbled, her right foot finding a divot in the road. She yelped as she felt her ankle turn over. Her body now in a chain of motion that could not be stopped, her turned ankle caused her to lurch and with her wounded foot she was not able to catch herself. Her weighty middle pulled her forward and she started to fall. She screamed her arms flailing as her exhausted brain struggled to decide whether they should be held out to try and break her fall or should wrap protectively around her unborn. The ground was coming up on her too quickly for her to do anything to stop it. She squeezed her eyes shut unable to look at what was coming.

She gave a yell of surprise and pain as she felt Sully grab her flailing left wrist, her arm feeling like it was about to be ripped from its socket as she was yanked to a halt. She opened her eyes as Sully eased her the rest of the way down to the ground. Whimpering with pain she rolled from her side to her back to relieve some of the pain in her ankle that she was feeling due to the way she was positioned. She instantly regretted it as she effectively beached herself on her back. She tried to push herself upright but her left arm protested, Michaela gasped in agony as a pain shot through her shoulder and she half slumped back the ground, her right arm shaking with effort to keep her propped up.

Sully pushed his arm around her back and levered her into a more upright position "Michaela?" The way he said her name asked all the questions he wanted to ask. Was she alright? Was the baby alright? What was hurting?

"My ankle" Michaela cried softly, the pain was radiating in waves up her whole leg, a deep throbbing ache. She struggled from her half prone position to get a look round her belly at her injured leg. Sully changed his support of her and carefully raised her skirt, he gulped down his fear, the injury was already swelling. Michaela observed her foot through her tears, her already swollen appendage swelling even tighter, she could actually feel the heat rising off the injury above the heat of the fire around them. "We'll need" she paused breathing through the pain that shot up her leg "to ban...dage it" she whimpered slightly.

Sully helped her push herself into a fully seated position. Breathing through the pain she reached for her medical bag and drew out a roll of bandage.

Sully watched for a second as she tried to lean forward around her belly to tend to her ankle. "I got it" He took the bandage from her and set to bandaging her swollen bruising limb. He did a messy job but it was enough to support her injury. Finished he looked up at her taking in the pain and the worry in her tired eyes, her face sodden with tears and sweat. He gulped; it broke his heart to see her suffer so much knowing there was nothing he could do to help her. He turned away, unable to take in anymore of her pain; he focused his attention to their situation. Around them the fire was getting more intense, flames pouring through the trees, reaching closer towards them every second. Savage tongues and fingers of fire trying to reach out and grab them, reaching to devour them as the fire marched hungrily on, the temperature climbing ever higher.

"Come on, I'll get you to town" he reached and moved his arms so that he could carry her.

"Sully you can't, I'm too heavy" Michaela pushed his arm away,

Sully brushed a section of hair away from her tear stained face and gently kissed her "You ain't heavy,"

"Sully I am" she argued pushing his arm away again "I'm too heavy, you'll hurt yourself"

"Michaela!" his voice was full of urgency. Sully tried again to take her into his arms, only for her to push them away again.

"I'm too heavy" she repeated.

"Ya ain't heavy, you're just heavier" Sully tried to reason with her, his anxiety rising as he could feel the temperature rise.

"42 pounds heavier Sully" as she said the number her head sagged in shame "I weigh almost as much as you" she added weakly

"It don't matter" He tried to lifted her, this time in her shamed state she didn't try to stop him. Slowly Sully raised Michaela into his arms. He grunted slightly with the effort, for the first time fully appreciating the weight of the pregnancy that Michaela had to bear every moment of the day. He ran the number 42 in his head adding it to what he thought her weight was before she was carrying the baby. She did indeed almost weigh the same as him, roughly 10 pounds difference between them. He gasped as he did a calculation, realising that she had added over a third of her pre pregnancy weight to her body in only 8 1/2 months. In his arms he felt every pound of her gain, and his heart swelled with admiration for what she was doing for him. The strain she was putting her body through for him to give him the wonderful gift of their child. A child whom he was going to see, he was determined of that. He staggered forward, careful not to jostle her too much and hurt her even more, he had released the reins but Flash kept right alongside, the animal putting herself between them and the worst of the fire, shielding Michaela from as much heat as she could, helping him to get his Michaela to safety.

* * *

Brian looked up from the patch of ground he had been staring at for an indeterminate time. His parents still weren't in town and he could feel their absence keenly, he wanted to feel Sully's gentle comforting touch on his shoulder, wanted his Ma to wrap her arms around him and cradle him like she did when he first became hers but most of all he wanted them safe, wanted them to be here with him, so he could make sure they were alright. He wanted to help Sully take care of his Ma, wanted her to be excited and nervous about the new baby. But as he sat here and time ticked on he could feel what he wanted drifting away, the dreadful realisation that the memory of his mother's touch was all he would ever have trying to attack his brain.

He struck his hand against the ground as he heard the clock on the bank start to chime in the hour of nine. They were taking too long, and he knew, he knew they were in danger. He jumped to his feet, instantly four pairs of hands were on him, pushing against him, keeping him in place.

"I gotta go" he insisted, focussing his eyes on Cloud Dancing "Ya gotta let me, think of all Sully's done for ya, ya can't just leave him out there ta die" Brian sobbed as he said the last word "What about Ma? What about the baby? We can't just do nothing!" he struggled against the four men's tightening grip "Robert E please, ya gotta let me. Hank, ya never followed the rule, please let me go" finally his eyes fell on Loren, the man he had known his entire life, the man he viewed as family "Please, ya gotta let me go, ya gotta let me try and find them, please" he sagged to the ground, his hands clasping at Loren's grey waistcoat "Please ya gotta let me"

Silently Loren got to his knees and took the teenage boy into his arms, "I'm sorry lad" the old man kissed Brian's hair gently, rocking the teenager as if he was a child.

"We gotta find them, I can't lose them, please" Brian dissolved into tears "please, please, please, please" he repeated, sobbing into Loren's chest. "Please"

Hank stepped away from Brian, unable to watch the boy he had come to care about in such distress. He ran his fingers through his long hair, wishing he had a cigar to hand, even if it was just to chew on. He cast his eyes across the town, eerie as it silently waited to burn, his home, about to go up in flames.

He was proud of his girls, how they had stepped into help without even being asked, helping Grace prepare food, helping James with those that needed treatment. Everything in Colorado Springs that meant something to him was in this meadow, bar one thing, and it was not his hotel. It struck him, a thought that had never occurred to him, the thing that he had felt the last few weeks. He missed Michaela, he needed her, needed the way she forced him to be a better man, she was his conscience and without her he was simply a brute. He shook his head stopping himself from tearing up, he wouldn't cry for her, he would only cry for her when she was dead, and that was something that he was not about to let happen. He started walking, striding towards the hastily constructed pen where the horses had been stowed. He increased his pace as he heard soft footfalls behind him  
"Don't try and stop me Jake"

"I will not stop you"

Hank turned surprised to hear Cloud Dancing, he regarded the Indian, his eyes narrowing "What do ya want?"

"I am coming to help you" Cloud Dancing told him solemnly, he quickly selected his horse from within the pen and pulled the animal clear "Two sets of eyes are better than one, are they not?"

"Ya hate me" Hank hissed as he pulled his horse out of the herd.

"I cannot hate the man who willingly puts himself in danger to save my brother and his wife" Cloud Dancing told him with a soft smile.

"I'm only doin this for Michaela" Hank hissed,

Cloud Dancing inclined his head in understanding, "We should cover the horses eyes, guide them blind"

"Ya ain't going" Jake's angry voice caused both men to turn. "I ain't allowin it"

"Never did do what you told me, why should I start now?" Hank hissed, tying a band of fabric around his horse's eyes. The animal flicked its head in confusion before calming and placidly waiting to be mounted.

Cloud Dancing observed the Mayor for a moment before speaking "You have more often than not found me a nuisance"

"Don't mean I want ya dead" Jake looked up at the Cheyenne, frowning at his words "I don't want anyone else ta get hurt"

"I will not get hurt" Cloud Dancing assured him

"What about ya wife?" Jake countered "What should I say to her"

"Dorothy understands why I must go" Cloud Dancing pulled himself onto his horse. "She understands I must try and rescue my brother"

"I'm coming too" Brian's voice sounded from behind him, the boy's voice was breathy and thick, his nose blocked from his tears.

"No" the three men shouted him down. Jake put himself between Brian and the gate of the pen. "I ain't letting ya go" he pushed against Brian's chest, forcing him back into the waiting arms of Hank. Hank jostled the boy pushing him to the ground so that Loren and Robert E could capture him and hold him firm. Jake knelt beside Brian, his hand tenderly brushing the new tears that flowed down the boy's cheeks "I know ya want to"

"But ya letting them go" Brian pointed at Hank and Cloud Dancing.

"They're grown men, I can't stop them. Ya still a kid, so I can. Beside Dr Mike would kill me if I let anything happen to ya" he placed a comforting hand on Brian's shoulder "And ya sister needs you. Ya can't leave Katie"

Brian looked back at the crowd, to where Dorothy stood clutching his little sister, watching the small group intently. He studied his little sister, her dishevelled hair, her damp red face. His tears started afresh, Jake's word hammering it to him, if they didn't show up, if they didn't survive the fire, she would be alone, orphaned before the age of three. He leapt to his feet and ran towards her. He held out his arms as he ran and Katie half leapt at him, pulling herself out of Dorothy's arms. Brian caught his little sister, falling to his knees and holding her as tightly as he could. Loudly the two siblings sobbed into each other, their fear of losing their parent too much for them to contain.

* * *

Michaela winced as Sully staggered along the road. He had been carrying her for almost 15 minutes and with each passing second she could feel herself sag towards the ground. He was gripping her tightly, his determination bruising the skin on her arm and thigh beneath his fingertips. She craned her head to look up at his face, it was beet red the sweat pouring down his face more so to do with her onerous weight then the heat of the fire.

"Sully" her voice distracted him and he stumbled nearly dropping her to the ground. He managed to keep her in his arms, but fell onto his knees.

Sully grimaced in pain as he collapsed to the ground, Michaela's added weight seeming to cause them to drill into the hard dirt. He kept his grip tight on Michaela afraid to let her go, afraid that she wouldn't be safe if he let her go.

"Sully" Michaela squirmed in her husband's arms "Put me down" she encouraged.

"No" Sully started to get back to his feet, he moved her a fraction of an inch from the ground, every part of his body screaming at him to stop.

"Sully" Michaela reached and placed her right hand on his chest, her voice urgent and full of worry.

Sully looked at her with concern, gently he lowered her to the ground, one hand remaining around her back holding her upright, the one that had been looped under her knees coming up to lovingly stroke the mound where their baby was growing "Are you Ok? Is it..."

Michaela silenced him by placing her finger on his lips. He kissed the digit automatically, Michaela smiled at his lips gentle caress "I'm doing OK, and the baby is fine. You are not! We have stop for a while"

"Michaela we have to..." Sully started to protest; his words were lost as just behind them a burst of flame shot out onto the road, startling both of them and Flash. He shielded Michaela, one arm wrapping protectively round her head, the other round her belly. Silently he thanked Flash as the animal despite being terrified put herself once again into harm's way to protect Michaela, her large body giving his fragile injured wife a barrier of protection from the perilous and ragged flames.

The danger passed and he released his grip on Michaela bringing her face away from his shoulder.

"Sully you can't carry me. You're either going to throw out your back or have a heart attack" Michaela coughed as a cloud of acrid smoke attacked her airway, she recovered and wiped her forehead free of perspiration "I'm too heavy and it's taking too long. We've hardly travelled any distance. We've still got half a mile to cover. I will not have you kill yourself for me"

Sully leant into her and kissed her strongly on the mouth leaving her slightly breathless. "I would die a hundred times over for you"

"Sully don't say that" Michaela brought her breathing back under control, her brow creasing, disturbed by his words and by the heat of the air around her "I think you should go on to town and..."

"Not a chance" Sully interrupted her, his grip tightening reflexly on her arm. He removed his hand from her belly and forced it back under her legs.

Michaela whimpered as his action sent a jolt of pain through her wounded leg. "Sully" she panted through the pain "Stop!"

"I ain't leaving ya" Sully hauled himself to his feet, taking her with him. "I couldn't do it, I can't do it"

He took a tentative step forward and began his hunched march towards the town and hopefully safety.

* * *

Jake clasped Teresa's hand as he watched the flames lick ever closer to the town, the sky was filled with smoke, ash and embers falling down on them like rain. In the distance he could hear the rumble of thunder but had no way of telling which direction the much needed rain clouds were in or if they were moving towards them. Teresa was trembling, bravely fighting her fears as her dark eyes scanned the arching flames. Jake frowned as he saw the water crews start to assemble ready to put out the fires that were sure to come.

"Jake" Grace approached them with a basket of biscuits "Would you and Teresa like something to eat?"

"ninguin gracias" Teresa whispered automatically.

"Ah?" Grace looked at Jake expectantly for a translation

"No thanks" Jake told Grace, he smiled weakly at the cafe owner, giving her a faint nod.

Grace smiled and moved away to continue her task. The cafe owner weaved her way through the townsfolk dispensing her bread as she went, pleased in the reaction the small buns were getting, reactions usually reserved for some fancy meal, suddenly being offered for the simplest thing, the townsfolk just pleased to eat something. Eventually when the basket was empty she made her way back to the supply store. Robert E had moved back to be near her, now that Brian was holding intently on his sister and refusing to let her go he had backed off leaving the teenager in the care of Loren and Dorothy. Grace smiled happily as she watched her husband play with her blissfully unaware son, her little miracle child who at almost five months old was becoming more and more interested and active in the world around him. She placed the basket on the table and moved in to join them. Lovingly she stroked her son's head, smoothing Freddie's wild hair.

"Are ya looking aftah your Daddy?" she spoke to the baby in a sing song tone

"He sure is" Robert E bounced the baby proudly. He looked up from Freddie's beaming face to Grace's

"You'd think I'd be frightened of losing everything we worked so hard for" Grace muttered quietly as she played with a tendril of Freddie's hair, her eyes moved to fix on the flames "But I'm not"

Robert E smiled "guess when you came from nothing it don't matter if ya leave with nothing" he kissed her gently.

"You don't come from nothing, you come from love, and that's how I'm gonna go, how we're gonna go, with love" she kissed her husband back, before planting her lips on her son's chubby cheek "we'll go with love"

"If the town goes..." Robert E stopped himself "Where did you want to go? Did ya want to go to New Orleans?"

"I guess" Grace agreed absently "But the town won't go, we won't let it"

* * *

Sully tilted his head forward as he caught the sound of hooves over the roar of the flames. He stared into the haze, wondering if his dehydrated exhausted body was making him see things. He peered at the two figures in the haze trying to focus on them but the heat made them waver in and out of focus like they were a trick of the heat. He glanced down at Michaela, she had gone limp in his arms, her face dripping wet. A burst of panic ripped across Sully's chest and he crouched to the ground, gently placing her on the dirt. The temperature was a fraction cooler close to the ground, but still too hot, too hot for him and certainly too hot for her.

"Michaela" he shook her, one hand supporting her back, the other stroking her moist face, she didn't react. Terrified he placed his hand on her belly, comforted by the incessant wriggling, if the baby was alright then so in a way was she. He shook her again.

"Wha?" she mumbled, struggling to open her eyes.

"Stay with me" Sully urged

"I'm so hot" she muttered, she tried to take off her duster, but Sully held her firm.

"No" he pulled her weak hands away from her coat

"I'm too hot" she pleaded with him her eyes widening as she came to.

"It's sheildin' ya" he reasoned

"Are we nearly there?" she asked struggling to stay awake as her body tried to force her out of consciousness.

Sully stroked her face again; making her keep her eyes open "Almost" he looked up certain he had heard another horse. He peered into the distance again, the figures appeared then vanished, he shook his head and tried to focus. This time he could see them, the figures, their bodies not phasing out of existence. "Look" he urged Michaela. "Someone's coming"

Michaela craned her head to look in the direction Sully had pointed, her action caused her pain, everything in her body ached, everything was hot, unbearably hot, she wanted to sleep, her body calling for her to fall into a never ending sleep as it started to give out on her. But more than anything she wanted her children, she wanted to hold her baby and that was what was keeping her going, that steely determined glimmer in her personality that refused to get in, that refused to submit to the call to sleep. She stared into the heat waves, her heat dried eyes struggling to lubricate enough so that she could see clearly. But she could see them, just, the shape of two people on horses. The shape of their salvation.

* * *

Hank caught the shape of the horse in the distance and pushed his feet into his horse's flanks urging the animal to move at a greater speed. In an instant he was upon them, he felt his heart rise into his mouth as he saw Michaela, her body despite its swollen state looking so fragile so delicate. Her face was pale and wet with fluids she could not afford to lose. Her hair was stuck to her head, her hat long since discarded. He could see she was fading, her overworked body beginning to call it quits, she needed to be cooled and given water fast or they, he, would lose her.

It took Hank a second to register that Sully was holding Michaela in his arms, as his attention had been so focused on her. He realised that Sully was trying to speak, but the mountain man's voice was scratchy, his throat baked and parched.

Hank pushed himself backwards on the horse, pushing himself off the saddle. He reached out his arms "Give her to me"

Exhausted Sully staggered to his feet, his body screaming in pain. He handed her over without question, the single most important thing in his life, handed over to man he had spent most of his time in Colorado Springs fighting, but in this instant he did not care. Hank could get her to safety, Sully didn't care about her fears of falling, he just wanted her out of the burning woods.

Michaela whimpered as she was lifted and jostled again. She cried as she was placed on the saddle, her brain telling her she should be protesting but her mind not able to string the words together. She needed water, so desperately needed water. Her mind drifted to the day before, a day which seemed so far away, the comfort and relief she had felt in the lake. Now she was a world away from that, so far away that her brain could not even process what was happening to her. She leant back against the person who's arms she had been placed. She knew it was not Sully and that felt wrong, she needed to be in his arms, needed to be close to him.

"Sully" she mumbled trying to open her eyes, her hand moved trying to find him "Sully"

Hank heard Michaela's weak voice and frowned, he checked that Cloud Dancing was pulling Sully onto the back of his horse, before starting off. He didn't really care about the other men, all that mattered was the fragile pregnant woman in his arms, it didn't matter that this was another man's wife carrying a baby that had nothing to do with him. The woman in his arms was the woman he loved in ways that he couldn't explain, and as he held her he knew that he would do anything to save her.

* * *

Dorothy jumped as she heard the bell fall, a sickening clanging and crunching as the wooden structure in the centre of the town buckled and fell, signalling that the tower had warned it's last. She sighed, it had caught alight due to falling embers, and she could see other structures beginning to smoulder, the livery stables, the store, their wooden shingled roofs hovering between catching alight or snuffing out the flames. She raised her hands to her cheeks, the worry beginning to rise as she watched the smoke trickle up from the town, the worry for her home, and for her new husband. She was so proud of him for going out and searching for Michaela and Sully but as the flames were reaching ever higher and it made her fear rise also.

She shook her head as she felt something wet and heavy hit her cheek, around her people were making similar actions. She looked down as Katie gave an indignant squeal,

"Anty Dorotee look" Katie pointed at her dress, a large dark grey splodge of damp slap bang in the middle of her torso. Dorothy looked up away from the little girl in amazement, surprised that water should be falling from the sky, after almost a month without rain, now at the time that they needed it most water was falling to earth. She held her hand out, letting two fat droplets land on her palm. She frowned, this rain was not normal rain, the water was thick and heavy, black and grey, stained by the ash that stained their clothes, it had a scent to it as well, a smell she could not quite place. But it wouldn't have mattered if the rain was green and smelt like horse biscuits, the point was it was rain, wonderful, moist, fire extinguishing rain, Dorothy just hoped it hadn't come too late, for the town, or too late for Michaela, Sully and their unborn child.

* * *

Hank pushed his horse through the cloud of smoke, he could feel his heart soar as the meadow came into view. A high that came crashing back to the ground as Michaela whimpered in his arms as the horse bounced her, sending a jolt through her wounded limb and aching back. Hank felt guilty for causing her more pain but he needed to get her to James. Needed to get her to the person who could help her. He crossed the bridge and brought the horse to a stop. Suddenly he was surrounded, seemingly hundreds of arms reaching up to help the lady doctor. He scanned the crowd, looking for someone he could pass her too, finally he found who he was looking for and as gently as he could he handed her down to Robert E, at this moment the only person he trusted to get her to safety.

Sully watched as Hank lowered his fragile wife into Robert E's arms, for a brief second his heat ravaged brain tried to consider how someone who was so large and swollen with child could appear so small and delicate. Sully felt Cloud Dancing slow the horse as they crossed the bridge and Sully tried to slip from the horse. He did it too quickly and his fell to the ground, he panicked as he lost sight of Robert E and his wife, a panic which he couldn't contain "Michaela!" he screamed in anguish, fighting the hands that were being offered to help him up, desperate to reach her, desperate to know that she was OK.

Robert E kept walking despite the sound of Sully's anguished cry. He did not look back nor could he, bring himself to look at her face, he couldn't bring himself to look at the way she looked so awful.

"Hang on Dr Mike" he spoke to her as she whimpered in his arms. He kept walking his eyes firmly fixed on the white sheet that made up the roof of the triage area, every fibre of his being focussed on keeping Michaela in his arms and hold her as delicately as possible.

Robert E reached James's triage area; the tiny man rushing to assess the pregnant woman before Robert E even had a chance to call for him.

"Take her coat off" James ordered as Robert E began to lower her to the ground, "And I need water, with salt in, and cold compresses."

Robert E helped James pull off Michaela's ash covered duster and laid her gently to rest on a bedding roll.

James nodded in thanks to the blacksmith before starting his assessment, he could see her foot was injured but that didn't even register as a problem, he was far more concerned about her suffering from what thankfully still seemed to be heat exhaustion and the effect it was having on the baby. He flapped his arm towards one of the young ladies that had been assisting him, beckoning her to come help him. "Raise her legs, gently" the girl did as he asked while another returned with what he had asked for. He quickly laid the cold water soaked cloths across her burning hot skin, one on her forehead another across her neck. He quickly moved down her body placing the cold rags in strategic places, relieved as he placed some on her heavily rounded abdomen that he could feel movement of the foetus within her.

"Michaela" James spoke clearly to her as he finished and returned to her head. "I need you to talk to me can you do that?" Her eyes remained closed. "Michaela?" James looked up as Sully was brought to the little field hospital. He was drenched from head to toe, bathed in his own sweat from where he had fought to keep her alive. "Do the same to him" James ordered.

Sully seemed to struggle as one of the girls tried to guide him to lay down "Is she alright?"

At the sound of her husband's anguished voice Michaela's eyes snapped open "Sully" her voice scraped through her dry throat, she weakly raised her arm, but her husband did not grab her limp hand, instead James did. The little doctor squeezed her hand, forcing her to look at him.

"Michaela, have you felt any contractions?"

"No" she croaked to him, her panic rising as she lost sight of Sully behind a group of people.

"Have you felt any pain in your abdomen?"

Michaela tried to shake her head "No"

"Do you feel like you are leaking fluid?" James pressed her.

Again she shook her head.

"Good" James patted her hand and gently released it, bringing it to lie gently beside her.

"Sully" Michaela croaked again.

James cast a look over to where the girls were attempting to treat the mountain man, he was fighting with them, trying to get to his beloved wife. "Let him come" James called.

In an instant Sully was beside her. "Does she have to lie on her back?" his voice rasped at James "It's real uncomfortable for her"

"Yes" James answered simply "Just as you must lie back. Drink this and lie down" he held out a glass of salt water to Sully.

Now that he was beside Michaela Sully did as he was told, he gagged as the brine scoured his throat but drank all of the prescribed glass. His panic receding as he gripped Michaela's hand, feeling her strength return to her tiny fraction after tiny fraction.

* * *

Michaela opened her eyes with a soft moan as the baby kicked her strongly in the ribs, the pain was just another one to add to her numerous aches and pains, but it was one that she treasured the most. Her eyes took in the white sheet that was above her, the steady drip of filthy water seeping through the fabric. She wasn't sure how long she had been in town, though she suspected it was not long due to the temperature of her skin, but at least she felt better than those horrible hours in the woods. She was relieved to feel Sully's hand loosely holding her right hand beneath a cold compress, but she could not turn her head in his direction, as she had cloths on her forehead and neck and she knew they were there to treat her and by association the baby. She flicked her eyes up as something moved in her peripheral vision.

"Hello" James removed the cold compress from her forehead "How are we feeling?"

Michaela nodded weakly "Thank you" she croaked at him, her vocal chords feeling like a grater had been dragged over them.

"Oof, think nothing of it" he smiled at her before he carefully poured a small amount of water over her hair, washing the ash from her some of her tresses. "I'm just glad you are ok"

Unable to contain herself any longer she mumbled at him with mild desperation "Katie? Brian?"

James smiled kindly down at her and tenderly brushed a moist rag across her chapped lips, "See for yourself" he nodded in the direction of her feet.

Michaela raised her head, stuck on her back she was barely able to see over the rise of her abdomen but she could see them, just, her children, held back by several pairs of hands. She painfully raised her arm, indicating that she wanted them with a flex of her hand. Brian rushed at her with Katie in his arms, only to stop as he neared her, his eyes wide with fear as he took in how she looked up close. "It's alright" she whispered to them. Instantly there was two heads on her chest, both her children, burying their faces in her bosom as they sobbed with relief.

Katie was the first to sit up "Scared Mama, didn know where ou were" her bottom lip trembled. The little girl placed her ear carefully onto Michaela's belly, after a moment she sat up straight again, a tiny smile on her lips as she had felt her unborn sibling. "Didn know you were ok"

"I'm alright" Michaela assured her daughter, stroking her daughter's cheek, wishing her own skin did not feel so parched in order that she could feel the smoothness and softness of Katie's.

"Good" Katie took hold of her mother's hand, squeezing it before bringing it to her lips and kissing the back, just as she had seen her father to a hundred times. She frowned slightly. "Bwrian" the little girl called to her brother "Mama hot"

Brian sat up with alarm, appalled that he could be causing his mother any further damage. "I'm sorry" he mumbled shifting back slightly from her almost looking afraid that he might break her.

"It's alright" Michaela soothed, wishing she had a third hand in order that she could reach and touch her son while she simultaneously touched her husband and daughter. At any other time she would have done her very best to get her son to smile, but she lacked the energy, and she was joyful to be able to see her children again, thankful that despite everything she still had the single most important thing in the world to her, she still had her family.


	14. The Softest Prison

_Hey, this chapter is a major change of pace to the last one. If there is mistakes I apologise my final edit got a bit lost as I have been glued to the amazing events in Chile, I can't believe they all got out! sometimes things in the world make you proud to be a human being and this was most definitely one of them. Anyway hope you enjoy_

_Kate x_

_

* * *

_

The Softest Prison

As he came to the remains of the wagon Sully lowered himself to the ground from his borrowed horse. The charred and twisted metal remains sat in the ash pile of fallen tree. He kicked at the ash with his toe, shocked that fire had burnt completely through the tree. He had seen firsthand how intense the fire was but it scared him how close he had come to losing Michaela and the baby, the pile of ash reinforcing to him how lucky they were.

The fire was gone now, snuffed out by the bitter dirty rain that had fallen for hours. Now all that remained was the devastation, the blackened corpses of dead trees, the hundreds of animals lost, but he knew the forest would survive. He could feel it, as the last of the heat was rising into the air, he could hear his beloved woods groan and sigh with relief, settling in for another thousand years, a boggy soup which would yield new life.

Sully pulled the metal remains of the wagon to one side, clearing the road, so that vehicles could pass through. He wanted it to be an easy when he brought Michaela home; James had stated that he did not think that the baby would be making its appearance, so the doctor had said that as Michaela would be confined to her bed due to her ankle injury that Sully could take her home. Now all Sully needed to do was check they still had a home. He mounted the horse and kicked it to move. The journey to the homestead in comparison to the arduous journey he had made the previous morning seemed ridiculously short.

As he turned the corner into the road that led up to the homestead he closed his eyes. Urging the horse on he tried to take a deep breath of the muggy steamy air, steeling himself against what he might be about to find. He forced his eyes open and yanked the horse to a halt. There before him, unscathed, stood his home, beautiful and serene in the early dawn light, smoke curling around it almost like mist. He exhaled with relief, relief that the house was still there and relief that he did not have to tell Michaela they had lost their home. Of course he would have built a replacement house if they had lost this one and it would have been built with as much love and care as the house that stood before him. But for Michaela this house meant so much, his wife had formed such an attachment with the lumber and nails that comprised of the building, poured her hopes and dreams for their family into the structure that if he had had to tell her that it was gone he was sure she would have been heartbroken.

A plaintive moan caused him to look away from the building, his eyes pulled down to the creek by the noise. He slid from the horse and made his way down to the moaning cow, he quickly checked the creature for injury, before finding the cause of the distress, the poor animal had not been milked yesterday and its udder was full. Sully quickly tended to it, spilling the thick creamy white liquid onto the earth. The task completed Sully led the animal up to the barn. Setting the animal inside he moved to open his house up again. He moved hastily, knowing he needed to get the house ready for Michaela's return, now that she was bedridden he would have to make some swift changes to the layout in order that she could be comfortable.

* * *

Michaela looked up at the homestead with tear filled eyes, yesterday she had felt like she would never have been able to see her home again, but it was fine, untouched and as beautiful as the day Sully carried her across the threshold. She braced herself as Sully brought the borrowed buckboard to a halt, wincing slightly at the movement caused her leg to jar and ache afresh. She had not broken anything within her foot of that she and James were certain, it just seemed badly sprained, but even with it heavily bandaged, she would be forced to remain stationary until it healed properly, as there was no way with her impaired sense of balance she would be able to move about on crutches and she most assuredly could not bear any weight on it. Sully leapt from the buckboard with ease, and moved to the back, unloading first a wheelchair and then Katie. Michaela tried to shift herself closer to the end of the buckboard but gasped in pain.

"Easy Ma" Brian climbed over the seat to join her.

Michaela looked at her son warily, certain that with the problems that Sully had had yesterday with lifting her that Brian would find it impossible to move her. She sighed, she had fought so hard for this not to happen, not to become too much of a burden on her family, fought to keep going despite her onerous weight and awkward proportions, but here she was effectively immobile, having to rely on Sully and Brian for everything. She was helpless and probably would be for the remaining five and a half weeks of her pregnancy, a duration that seemed to be almost as mountainous as her abdomen. Sully climbed up into the bed of the vehicle, nodding to Brian both men slipped their arms around her and lifted her gingerly to the edge where the set her down again. Michaela winced as her injured leg dangled beneath her, instantly feeling a build up of pressure in her limb that had been alleviated by the elevation.

Sully dropped from the buckboard "Now put your arms around my neck" he coaxed her "I'll lift ya and swing ya and then lower ya into the chair."

"I think my abdomen may get in the way" Michaela stated the flaw in his plan, she bit the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from blushing crimson, completely embarrassed that she was too huge and weighty for her husband to carry her.

"Papa" Katie urged, the little girl pushed the wheelchair right up to the buckboard, and turned it so that it was at a right angle to the small wagon.

Brian dropped out of the buckboard and moved to stand in the tiny space between the chair and the wagon. "If we both lift her, I'll go round the back of the chair and then we'll lower her down." The teenager figured out a way to move Michaela.

Sully nodded and together they awkwardly sidled around the chair with Michaela in their arms.

Michaela fought her tears mortified by their actions. Both of the men straightened up breathing slightly from the effort.

"Mama" Katie carefully approached Michaela "Don be sad" the child gently began to stroke her mother's swollen abdomen "I look aftah you" she gave Michaela a beaming smile "I push" the little girl shooed her brother out of the way.

"You can help" Sully agreed, letting Katie place her little hands against the back of the chair before he stepped in behind to push.

Michaela turned her head to look at him in surprise as he started to push her towards the side of the house. "It will be easier to get ya in through the back door" Sully explained.

Michaela lowered her head, her eyes staring down to where her waist used to be, her vision encompassed by the convex bulge of her abdomen, for what seemed like the millionth time resenting her size. Carefully Sully eased the chair through the side door. Michaela looked up surprised as they passed the staircase, as James's instructions were for her to be in bed on bed rest and she had therefore expected Sully to carry her up the stairs to their bedroom. Instead she was pushed into the living room and pushed over to stop in front of the bathing screen.

Sully stopped pushing and came round to her front kneeling beside her. He took in her confused expression, rising slightly he kissed her softly.

"I'm supposed to go to bed Sully"

Sully smiled kindly at his wife, he was uncertain of what her reaction would be once he pulled back the screen, but he had a feeling it would not be good. "I got things set up for ya down here" he told her gently.

"What!" Michaela looked at him shocked. Sully rose and carefully pulled back the screen. Michaela gaped at what laid behind it. A stack of pallets covered by a mattress which she was certain was Colleen's. On top of the mattress was heaped what she was certain was every cushion and pillow in the house as well as a stack of blankets and a quilt. She looked back at her husband too overcome to speak, her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

Sully lowered himself to his knees and gently stroked her cheek, it was so rare for Michaela to be speechless that he wasn't even sure what he should say. His eyes flicked over to the children, Brian quickly picking his little sister up and taking her upstairs, the teen knowing that his parents needed time alone. Sully moved his hand back, tenderly stroking her hair. He frowned, Grace had washed Michaela's hair free of all the ash and smoke, but she had used her own shampoo mix and it meant that Michaela's hair no longer had that silky feel to it; her long tresses feeling slightly rough in texture. Distracted by the feel of her hair he missed the first of her tears that rolled down her cheeks, it wasn't until she shuddered slightly that he realised. "Hey" he moved his hands to cup her face, his fingers acting like a dam for her tears, the salty liquid building up before trickling down his hands. "Michaela, please don't cry"

She gave a shuddering breath before she spoke in a voice so tiny that he barely heard it "I'm sorry I'm such a burden"

"Ya ain't a burden" Sully reassured her rising to kiss her forehead.

"I am" she insisted her voice rising dangerously "I'm too huge and fat and heavy for yo..."

Sully silenced her with a kiss. "Ya ain't fat and ya ain't heavy, I told ya, ya just heavier"

"But I am huge" Michaela retorted her tears increasing in intensity.

Sully smiled at her "Well yeah, only the Reverend would be able to deny that fact. But it's a good huge, a beautiful huge" he lowered his head and kissed her stomach. Slowly he moved his hand to unbutton her gown but she pushed his hand away. "Michaela, please believe me when I say, that you are the most beautiful stunning woman in the world, and the fact that you are putting your body through this" he indicated her distended abdomen "for me, makes me feel like my heart would explode with love for ya" he frowned as her tears increased yet again, the liquid now a river flowing down her cheeks "Caela please, please don't cry"

Michaela took as deep a breath as she could and stared into his gorgeous blue eyes, instantly she knew her misgivings about her size and shape were pointless, all she could see was his love and admiration for her. "But why am I sleeping down here?" she whispered

"I figured it would be easier for ya" Sully told her as he secured his arms around her. He lifted her and rotated, depositing her on the makeshift bed, after a few awkward movements Michaela got situated into what was roughly the middle of the mattress. He helped her arrange the pillows behind her so that she was propped up in as comfortable position as she was going to find.

"I could be in bed upstairs and not..." Sully silenced her by placing his finger on her still chapped lips.

"Michaela if I put ya upstairs ya would have had to have stayed there, I don't feel comfortable carrying ya up and down the stairs, I'd be too frightened I'd drop ya. Also ya need the privy alot and I figured ya wouldn't want to use a bucket" he smiled slightly as her eyes flared "This way, all ya need to do is transfer to the wheelchair and then I'll get a rope set up for ya to pull yaself to the privy. So If I'm outside looking after the animals ya won't have to wait"

"But I won't be able to sleep with you" Michaela's lip quivered at the thought of not sharing a bed with her husband, of not being able to position herself into his arms in some way, of not being able to rest her head against his chest and feel his heart.

"I'll be right over there" Sully pointed to the armchair.

"That will not be comfortable for you" Michaela pointed out.

"Slept in worse places" Sully assured her "Beside it's only right that I have my share of being uncomfortable" he placed his hand firmly on her belly "So far it's all been you"

"I don't think almost breaking your back carrying me could be classed as comfortable" Michaela whispered gently stroking his rough cheek with her fingers.

"That was different, that don't count" Sully shrugged his shoulders dismissively.

"I don't believe I have said thank you" Michaela smiled slightly, she reached to guide his chin up to look at her. "Thank you for saving me" she craned her neck forward indicating to him she wanted a kiss. Sully gave it gladly, his strong lips brushing over hers tenderly. They broke apart "I love you" Michaela whispered.

"I love you too" Sully kissed her on the cheek. He moved quickly, taking one of the cushions she had not utilised and gently positioning it between her heavily strapped injured limb. "I'm gonna get the rope set up for ya"

"Sully" she grabbed at his hand before he moved away "I..."

"I know" Sully kissed her for a third time, his lips lingering above hers wanting to taste them again. He forced himself to stand up knowing that after the horrific ordeal she had suffered yesterday that Michaela needed to rest as much as possible, she needed to heal so she would be able to handle the approaching birth of the baby. Sully forced himself to smile at her, wishing for all the world that he could take away every ounce of her pain, he sighed slightly and leaned into kiss her again "Now you get some rest"

* * *

Michaela opened her eyes after a fitful sleep, she did not think she had ever been this uncomfortable in her life, the only position she could bear to be in without causing any further pain in her leg was seated, and even though she was leant backwards, reclined against the mountains of cushions she still felt as if the baby was stretched throughout her entire torso, it's legs jamming up into her ribcage. Frustratingly every time she felt as if she was finally slipping into a deep enough sleep, the baby would move or kick and she would have to start all over again. Finally she gave up, opening her eyes she was surprised to find Katie beside her. She hadn't heard her daughter approach her at all. Katie stared at her curiously, her daughter's warm brown eyes studying her with fierce intensity.

"Sweetheart?" Michaela reached to touch Katie but found that her daughter was beyond her reach.

Katie looked up at her face and gave a small smile "lo Mama" she stepped into Michaela's reach taking her mother's hand and holding it between her own tiny palms. "Mama" the little girl's voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper "tummy movin"

Michaela smiled "That's the baby"

Katie frowned "You don like it" she pointed out to her mother, to prove her point Michaela winced as the baby dealt a particularly strong kick. "Mama I hungwy" the little girl changed the subject.

"We will get your Papa to get you something" Michaela cast her eyes around the living room.

"Papa goed to da barn say he gonna look at Flash" Katie explained her father's absence "he say he go coz you sleepin. Bwrian sleepin to"

"I can't get you anything sweetheart" Michaela explained, instantly feeling guilty that she was unable to care for her daughter.

"Coz your leg is poorwy" Katie gave her a smile "It getted an apple" the child disappeared from her mother's view for a second as she collected the piece of fruit from the floor, "It too big dough". Katie turned the fruit to show her small teeth marks in the shiny red skin of the apple where she had tried to eat it. Katie opened her mouth wide to demonstrate "wo hi" she closed her mouth "Won fit" she reiterated

"I'm sorry sweatheart" Michaela told her mournfully

Katie frowned again "Don be sad Mama" she patted Michaela's hand comfortingly. "I telw you stowy. Stowy make me happy" she pulled herself up onto the bed. Michaela gasped in pain as the movement sent waves of pain radiating up her leg. Katie looked at her alarmed and sprang from the bed, she noted the tears on her mother's face and backed away "I huwt you" her brown eyes widening, "I huwt you" she repeated "I sowwy, Mama I sowwy"

"It's alright" Michaela took a deep breath "It's OK, you didn't h..."

"I did" Katie insisted, she spun away from her mother and ran for the stairs.

"Katie" Michaela called after her daughter.

Katie stopped on the bottom step and turned to face Michaela, her lower lips trembling. The little girl sat down on the step and stared at her mother one last time before burying her head into her arms as her tears fell.

Michaela felt as if her heart would break as she heard her daughter's sobs "Katie I'm alright" she called to her little girl.

"No Mama" Katie disagreed, looking up from her knees. Suddenly she was moving again this time towards the front door. With a little difficulty the little girl managed to opened the front door, she cast one more miserable look at Michaela before screaming out the door "PAPA"

* * *

Sully dropped his brush at the sound of his daughter's shriek. He pivoted away from the horse and sprinted from the barn. His fear flared as he caught sight of Katie's small shape in doorway. He vaulted over the gate ignoring the pain in his back as he did so. He was at the house in seconds, his feet barely touching the steep wooden steps. He spun round the doorframe half ignoring Katie in the doorway. His eyes fell on his snuffling wife, he sighed a little pleased that the worst had not happened, that Michaela was still awake and responsive, the list of all the symptoms and signs that James had asked him to keep an eye out for reeling across his mind. "Michaela?"

"I'm alright" Michaela gave her standard response, her voice confident to show she meant it at least in part, her wet face and burning eyes however telling him that she was far from it.

Sully looked down as he felt Katie's hand grip hold of his buckskins "Katie girl?"

"I huwted Mama" the little girl bleated dissolving into tears and burying her face into the soft leather of his trousers. Sully bent down and lifted her into his arms, instantly the small child snuggled her head into the curve of his neck, her hands finding his black and red beads threading the string beneath her stubby little fingers.

"Caela?" Sully looked up at Michaela in alarm.

"She climbed on the bed, the action jarred my leg." Michaela explained softly.

"See" Katie mumbled snuffling and turning her wet face into her father's neck. He felt her lips move against his skin as she mumbled something else but he was unable to understand what she was saying.

"You didn't hurt me sweetheart" Michaela tried to sooth Katie from her position on the bed.

Sully slowly made his way over to where she lay, he understood Michaela's tears now, she was in pain, both from her physical injury and the emotional punch that she felt from upsetting Katie, and then not being able to comfort her. He carefully lowered Katie onto the bed beside her mother. Katie's eyes were wide and she went as rigid as a board, not moving a muscle as Michaela tried to wrap her arms around the little girl. "Katie", the little girl moved her eyes onto her mother as Michaela spoke her name "I would like to hold you, am I allowed?"

Katie nodded slowly "Not wanna huwt you Mama"

Michaela sighed as she managed to bring Katie into her arms, the little girl cradled against her side. She chewed the inside of her lip, regretting it as she felt the iron tang of blood as she split the parched skin. "She's hungry Sully"

"I'll get her something" Sully moved away.

Michaela held her daughter as best she could, she could hear Katie's shallow breathing and feel that the child had gone stiff again. "Katie" she stroked her daughter's soft cheek "I'm alright"

"Not" Katie disagreed,

"I am" Michaela tried to assure the little girl.

"Mama you not alwight" Katie shook her head. She forced herself away from Michaela, who not wanting to hurt her leg further was forced to let her little girl leave her arms. Katie slithered to the floor, she observed her mother for a few seconds before taking her mother's hand and guiding it to press against her cheek. "I wove you"

"I love you too" Michaela responded with a soft sigh.

Sully returned a small plate holding a biscuit and a small slice of cheese. He frowned slightly as he saw Katie off the bed, he moved to sit on the ottoman and pulled Katie onto his knee. Katie attracted by the food released her mother's hand. Sully caught Michaela's hand, squeezing gently to reassure his still visibly upset wife. Silently he stared into her damp two tone eyes, her beautiful eyes that gave so much away. She wasn't looking at him, instead her eyes focussed on Katie, watching as the little girl made messy work of the slice of the cheese, her eyes burning with pain and love, with how much she wanted to be a 'proper' mother, able to care for her daughter and not stuck in a bed. He sighed, she was berating herself, blaming herself for Katie's distress and worse yet he know that there was nothing that could change her mind until she could return to caring for her at normal, which was not likely to happen until the birth of the baby.

* * *

Wednesday was the first day that Brian ventured back into town. With so many people either homeless or unable to get to their homes every available building with space was being utilised, the church, the schoolhouse, even the livery stables was housing families until they could make an alternate arrangement. With the schoolhouse housing 6 families there was no school and Brian doubted that there would be any for the rest of the semester and if there was he didn't think he would go until Michaela was better as he wanted to make sure she was OK. Making sure his Ma was OK was one of the main reasons he had come to town as now she had settled into her routine of being on bed rest she was fretting over everything and her topic of choice for this morning had been the clinic. what needed to be ordered? Was it clean? Was anyone still staying there? and a million more questions. As much as he loved his Ma it was almost a relief to be away from her persistent worries and queries. Brian sighed as he dismounted from Taffy, judging from the general feeling of chaos in the town he was sure he was in for a busy day sorting out the clinic, especially as he remembered how much of the contents he had actually taken out. In the blur of what had happened on the previous Saturday he wasn't actually certain how much of it was used and how much was returned. He knew that several crates had been brought back on the Sunday morning but he had no idea what their contents were.

"Brian"

Brian looked up as Hank sidled up to him from across the road. "Hank" he greeted the taller man.

Hank threw his cigar to one side, there was a collective hush as seemingly everyone on the street turned to look at him, the barman shrugged and walked over picking up the smoking stub before chucking it into the trough, the lighted end extinguishing with a hiss.

"Guess people are jumpy huh?" Brian tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah" Hank cast sullen look down the street at the gaggle of older women who were collecting water from the pump "How's ya Ma?" Hank turned back to the teenage boy.

"Ok I guess" Brian fumbled with the key

Hank studied the boy's face, taking in how much older the kid looked, how much the two fires this year had aged him, not so much in his face, which was still fresh, rosy cheeked and not likely to sprout a hair for a good while yet but in the look in his eyes, the way that he pushed his lips together, almost like he was biting them together from the inside. "She get a clean bill?"

"James doesn't think she'll go into labour anytime soon if that's what ya mean"

"Yeah" Hank sighed "How long she gonna be stuck in bed? bet she's driving ya up the walls" he grinned.

Brian returned the smile "She's gonna be in bed till she has the baby" he looked sheepishly at the floor "James said she's too big and unbalanced to move about on crutches"

Hank snorted "Kinda obvious, he need a medical degree to tell him that" he smirked and then ran his long fingers through his equally long hair "But seriously though, she's alright?"

"As she can be" Brian told him carefully.

"Good, well if ya need anything let me know" Hank gave a nod and turned back towards the hotel.

Brian watched the older man leave, laughing slightly as Hank made an inaudible comment to the gaggle of old ladies that caused them to scurry off. He turned to enter the clinic only for another voice to call out his name.

"Miss Dorothy" Brian stuck his head round the corner of the stones that made the exam room wall. "Is your homestead alright?"

"Oh it's fine, fine" Dorothy told him, waving her hand dismissively "How's your Ma?"

Brian nodded his head "She's doing OK"

"Is she accepting visitors?" Dorothy asked, her smile broadening.

"I don't know" Brian shrugged, "But Pa would probably like a chance to get a nap or something, he's real worried about her, doesn't like leaving her alone in case she needs something"

Dorothy nodded thoughtfully "Now I'll tell you what, Grace and I will go over there and give Sully a hand"

"Ain't Miss Grace real busy in the cafe?" Brian queried,

Dorothy studied the boy for a few moments before laughing slightly "Oh I forget you haven't been in to town. Grace's is closed for a little while, she's gonna be serving breakfast and supper to the folk who are homeless, not lunch, at least till the track gets repaired, she's rationing things, with the train down we're not really sure when supplies will get here. The stage is certainly going to clean up. Loren's had to go all the way to Manitou to get just some basics, flour and sugar things like that"

"Is it bad?" Brian asked worried.

"It's not good" Dorothy surmised "But don't worry, Cloud Dancing and I will make sure you don't go hungry. We had a lot of game move into the woods near us because of the fire. I'll get Cloud Dancing to take some over"

"Thanks" Brian smiled warmly at Dorothy "I'll let Pa know"

Dorothy nodded and turned to move away. After a moment she spun and planted a happy kiss on Brian's cheek. Brian blushed and self consciously rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand "What was that for?"

Dorothy spread her arms wide "I'm just so happy everything is alright" the redhead gave the teenage boy a beaming smile "I'll make sure I cheer Michaela up don't you worry" she winked at Brian as she moved off towards the alleyway. Brian sighed and stepped back up onto the boardwalk to enter the clinic.

"Brian!"

Brian bit his lip as Horace ran up to him. "Hey Horace"

"How's Dr Mike?" Horace asked took his hat off and nervously ran it through his fingers.

"She's doing OK" Brian told him with a smile.

Horace grinned widely "Oh that's real good" He placed his hat back on his head "well if ya need anything let me know, with the telegraph down I'm at a little bit of a loose end." Horace peered passed Brian into the clinic and studied the pile of crates. "Do ya want a hand now?"

Brian shook his head, "No thanks, Ma likes thing in a particular way"

Horace grinned "I can imagine, well if ya need me just holler, I'm helping Robert E make shingles for the roofs that got burnt" Horace tipped his hat and scurried off.

As he watched Horace head towards the livery Brian caught sight of the gaggle of old ladies approaching him, his eyes widened and quickly he slipped inside the clinic and shut the door leaning against it hoping they would get the message. He screwed his face up as the bell rang, and sighed heavily as his eyes flickered over the pile of supplies that he needed to sort through. Supplies that at the rate things were going were definitely not going to get sorted today.

* * *

Michaela raised her head from one of her many pillows at the sound of a knock on the door. She opened her mouth to call Sully, but before she got a chance there was a flurry of activity as Katie whizzed to the front door and wrenched it open.

Michaela barely had time to cover herself with her shawl as the door swung wide and Dorothy stepped in.

"Good Afternoon Angel" the redhead bent down low to cuddle the child.

"Lo" Katie greeted them happily, excited after 3 days of being at home to see other people. "Hey Fweddie" she waved to the chunky baby on Grace's hip.

"Say hello" Grace entered shaking Freddie's arm up and down in an imitation of a wave.

Katie scampered to the side of the bed. "Mama I play with Freddie?"

"You'll need to ask Grace" Michaela couldn't help but smile at her daughter, her smile wavered as Katie turned around, her daughter's white blonde hair knotted in some bizarre attempt at a plait. "Katie did you do your hair?"

"Nope, Bwrian did" Katie pulled at the bundle of hair at the back of her head, tightening the string and making it worse.

"Come here" Michaela called to her, struggling to sit upright from her prone position leaning against the cushions, finally she relented and pushed her hands into the mattress to aid in sitting straight. As she did so she watched out of the corner of her eye as Dorothy settled herself into one of the white armchairs and pulled Katie onto her lap to tend to the mess of hair. Michaela exhaled and flopped back against the pillows, frustrated and struggling to contain the angry thoughts she was feeling about Dorothy.

Grace sat down on the ottoman and smiled warmly at Michaela, the black woman's rich smile impossible to resist. "How are ya Dr Mike?"

"Oh you know, just lying here..." Michaela trailed off and glanced down at her stomach which she was certain had increased in circumference since her confinement, wishing she could go on and say 'getting fatter, feeling miserable'. "I'm fine" she added half heartedly

Grace seemed to understand what Michaela was thinking, and gently patted her friend's hand "It's a good fatter" she grinned as Michaela looked up at her in alarm "I can read you like a book" she giggled,  
"Am I that transparent?" Michaela considered, she studied her friend's face intently.

"Only if ya know ya" Grace smiled bouncing Freddie on her knee "and I know you. You don't like being not being able to control things, and you can't control how the baby grows"

Michaela raised her eyebrows "I thought I was better when it comes to controlling things"

"Ya are" Grace muttered bluntly. "Now really, tell us how ya are?"

"We know you're upset and miserable" Dorothy added as she ran her fingers through Katie's hair, trying to loosen the tangles in the child's hair without hurting her "so vent away"

"I don't need to vent" Michaela denied, she couldn't prevent the corners of her mouth from turning up as both of her friends raised their eyebrows at her "Honestly"

"Michaela" Dorothy warned in an authoritative voice. "I'll start for you. Your sick of being in bed" she prompted.

"I don't want to be a burden" Michaela reasoned, "Sully and Brian are already doing so much" she inhaled and her words began flowing like some tumultuous rapids "and I'm just lying here completely useless, just lying here expanding, I can't look after my daughter, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't be a proper wife or mother, I can't do anything, I'm just a useless fat lump" she sniffed dangerously, angry at herself as she felt fresh tears prickle her eyes.

"Michaela you're not useless" Dorothy told her softly

Grace nodded sincerely "No ya ain't. Ya have two very important tasks at the moment"

"Oh?" Michaela studied her friend curiously.

"You're healin ya leg and yer growing that baby" Grace leaned forward and placed her hand on Michaela's stomach "That's the most important job in the world."

"I know" Michaela sighed and began gently massaging her belly "I'm so grateful, that he's still alright after everything that happened on Saturday,"

"But..." Dorothy continued for her

"I wish he didn't make me look like I've swallowed a prize winning pumpkin whole" Michaela laughed slightly, to emphasise her point she flattened the quilt tight against her abdomen. "I'm thrilled to be having him, but I'm tired of it, tired of being pregnant. I wish he was here"

"It won't be much longer" Dorothy reasoned "There" she called rejoicing as she managed to tease the last tangle from Katie's hair.

"Tanks" Katie slithered from Dorothy's knee and crossed to Freddie. The little girl blew her long hair out of her face, before sticking her tongue out at the baby, who chortled away in delight. Katie giggled, she spun in a messy circle and leant against the bed "I maked Fweddie laugh"

"You did" Michaela agreed. She smoothed Katie's hair "How can you see anything Katie" she wondered out loud.

Katie puffed again blowing her hair from her face "Be wike you Mama" Katie gave her a beaming smile and span away from the bed "Lo Papa" she greeted her father as he came down the stairs.

"Katie, Hello Dorothy, Grace" Sully nodded a greeting at the women, his extended his finger out towards Freddie "Hey little man" he smiled as the baby grabbed hold of his finger. His eyes flicked away from Grace and Robert E's son to his wife and he smiled lovingly at her, his eyes sparking with excitement, the little boy reminding him of the joy that would soon be coming their way. Michaela returned his smile.

"I brought ya some pie" Grace told Sully rising suddenly and thrusting her son into Dorothy's arms. "Why don't you show me where ta put it" She seized Sully by the elbow and practically forced him into the kitchen and set her red checker cloth covered basket. "Now" Grace lowered her voice "Ya got any washin?"

"What?" Sully was thrown by her question.

"Ya got any laundry?" Grace tried again, she leaned into Sully "I wanna help but I don't think Dr Mike will want me doing it"

Sully looked at his Grace slightly overcome by her offer "I can manage" he stammered

"I don't want you to manage" Grace bristled slightly "Your job is looking aftah Dr Mike and that baby. Let me and Dorothy handle the chores like that" she smiled slightly as saw Sully's bewildered face "put it this way, Dr Mike is only in shifts at the moment right?"

"Yeah" Sully confirmed, wondering what Grace was getting at.

"And how many she got?" Grace placed her hands on her hips.

"Loads" Sully considered Michaela's packed drawer, full of the white cotton garments.

"And how many fit her?" Grace asked raising her eyebrow

Sully opened his mouth in a silent 'oh' as he finally understood Grace's meaning. "I'll get a bag"

Grace grinned as Sully rushed from the kitchen and bounced his way up the stairs. Pleased to help she bustled her way back into the living room. She was greeted by Katie who was holding her long blond hair out of her eyes, a huge grin on her face. "Ya look happy chicken" Grace ran her hand across the child's head capturing the long blond tresses and pulling it into a neat ponytail which she fastened with a piece of string.

"I like pie"

"Ya do?" Grace played along, she picked up Katie and held the child on her hip

"I like pecin" Katie smacked her lips "n' appawl"

"I brought an apple and a meat'n'potato" Grace told Katie returning to the ottoman. She sat down and rested Katie on her knee,

"Mama" Katie grinned "Miss Gwace bought appawl pie"

"I heard sweetheart" Michaela smiled at her daughter and friends, feeling for all the world brighter, her mood lifting as the conversation drifted onto the mundane and trivial, pulling her thoughts away from her pregnancy and her injury, away from her musings about what could of happened and what was still to come. Her smile widened and she placed her hands tenderly on her belly, her fingers tracing the baby's movements mirroring them perfectly. Finally she felt calm.

* * *

Michaela awoke as the baby seemed to punch her in the gut, she frowned slightly, the living room empty, the window beside her bed, showing it was dusk. It had been mid afternoon only moments before and she had been listening to Dorothy talk about her new life as a wife but now the room was empty and darkness was encroaching on her home. She sighed to herself, somewhat dismayed at having fallen asleep, hoping her friends did not think her too rude. She stayed perfectly still for a moment, listening to the sound of her husband's voice drifting down the stairwell as he read Katie a story. She inhaled drinking in the smell of her freshly washed daughter, the lingering smell of soap and talc, a combination that smelt so divine, the sweet smell cutting across the bitter smoke smell that hung as a base note in the air.

Michaela shifted in her seat, frowning as she did as she felt a new sensation of her bladder asking to be emptied. She opened her mouth to call her husband before closing it abruptly as her eyes fell on the wheelchair beside the bed. Sully had set up the rope so she could easily pull herself across to the privy.

Not wanting to interrupt Katie's bedtime routine she awkwardly shuffled her bottom closer to the edge of the mattress. Reaching with her arms she seized the sides of the wheelchair and began to shift across to the seat.

Halfway across Michaela's eyes bulged, her arms were shaking with the effort of holding up her weight, and the chair was moving, slowly rolling away from her. She was caught in a precipice, the gap widening, too late to pull herself back, the distance too great to pull herself onto the chair. She moved one of her hands and found the relative safety of the ottoman. She closed her eyes trying to stop her tears but they were already falling. She was well and truly stuck. Half suspended between the bed and the foot stool she lacked the leverage to push herself back into the safety of the bed. Michaela gave in and lowered herself down to the ground. She sighed heavily her tears flowing rapidly.

It took her a moment to speak, a moment to find her voice "Sully!" she called her voice cracking her husband's name coming out broken and garbled. "Sully!" she tried again, her tears increased strangling the words, making them stick in her voice.

"Ma!" Brian rushed to her, crossing the room from the stairs in an instant. The teen studied his mother looking for any other further injury.

"I..." Michaela looked at her son pleadingly, begging him silently to get Sully.

"I'll get him" Brian left her and barrelled up the stairs.

Michaela sat on the floor, tears rolling down her cheeks, from pain from frustration. She opened her mouth and gave a silent scream, the noise strangled by her mortification, appalled that even though she could hear her husband soft footfalls he was coming too late.

* * *

Sully reached the bottom of the stairs, instantly he knew what was wrong. He rushed to his wife and wordlessly reached for her. She shied from him embarrassed beyond measure about what had happened. "It's alright" he tried to soothe her but her tears just flowed faster and heavier.

He held her letting her tears come out of her, knowing that in a way it was better for her to be crying then not, even though it felt as if his heart would snap as his eyes and ears processed her pain and despair.

Finally her tears eased slightly. He tenderly brushed a lingering tear from her face. "I'll get the bath" he stated, knowing that as well as cleaning her up that the warm water would help her no doubt aching back. Michaela nodded slightly.

He left her on the floor, returning moments later with the copper tub.

Michaela silently watched her husband as he quickly went about setting up the bath for her. She smiled weakly at him as he gave her a worried glance, despite the fact she was mortified by what had happened knowing that he did not care one bit about the situation she was in. When the tub was prepared she silently raised her arms.

Sully pulled her shift over her head, casting it to one side so that he could lift her now naked body into the small rounded tub. He lifted her as gently as he could manage and placed her into the warm water.

Michaela sighed with relief as the water flowed around her, the warmth immediately soothing her aching spine and hips. She looked up as Sully remained in attendance, surprised as he usually left her to bathe by herself. Instead he knelt beside the tub. He dipped his into the warm water, his large palm acting like cup for the clear liquid, tenderly he poured the liquid of the portion of her belly that crested the surface of the water. Gingerly he repeated the action, conscious of the red hue of her stretched skin, not wanting to touch her without invitation. He gasped as he saw her belly became momentarily misshapen as the baby pressed out against her skin.

"Was that...?" Sully began

"I believe it was the shin" Michaela explained, she smiled at him, watching his face lose all concern as he watched with excitement as their baby wriggle and roll inside her.

"It's amazin" Sully whispered. Michaela nodded. "You alright?" Sully asked catching the sorrowful look on her face.

"I'm sorry" her eyes fell on the mess on the floor. Her tears started again.

"It's fine, It don't matter" Sully reassured her, he brushed her tears away again. "It don't matter Michaela, I'll get it cleaned up in a minute and then that will be it. It's no problem"

"I'm a grown woman, I shouldn't b..." Sully interrupted her by planting his lips on hers.

"SShhhh" he prompted "It's not a problem" he kissed her forehead. "Now did ya want me to massage ya back?"

"Yes please" Michaela leant forward as best she could. Sully positioned himself behind her, his torso pressed against the copper tub. Michaela sighed in relief as Sully expertly kneaded the muscles in her back. "What did I do to deserve you?" she whispered.

Sully paused in his massage and moved around so he had full view of her face. Sully tenderly ran his finger under her chin making her look up at him. "Way I see it, it's by being the most remarkable woman in the world. It means you deserve everything that makes ya happy and if I'm what makes you happy, then I sure am glad"

"You make me happy" Michaela nodded her head she reached her hand out of the water to stroke his face. Sully turned his face to kiss her wrist. Michaela smiled as the man she loved nuzzled her slender wrist, working his way up her arm to her bare breasts, he kissed her gently on each pressure filled sphere before moving his lips to her neck. Michaela sighed, her embarrassment forgotten as Sully made her feel despite her shape and size that she was the most desirable woman in the world.

* * *

Sully opened his eyes as he heard Michaela moan slightly. He peered through the gloom of the dawning light at his wife. Her face was creased with discomfort but her eyes were still closed. Slowly he stood rolling his neck to loosen the stiff joint, his body protesting at having slept in the chair for two days. After the incident on Wednesday he had barely left her side, knowing that if it happened again it would bring her even more undue stress, make her more miserable. He crouched beside her, his eyes wandered up and down her body; she had thrown the quilt off, her gently perspiring skin telling him that she was still feeling uncomfortably warm. Unencumbered by the quilt he had complete view of her body, he frowned as he studied her, taking in how tight the cotton gown was on her stomach, she had grown more during her week on bed rest and with a little over four weeks still to go before the baby was due it frightened him by how much she could still potentially grow. He knew that Michaela had said there was definitely only one baby but she looked so huge, he found it very hard to believe there was just one child inside her. His eyes travelled higher to her breasts, his frown deepening as he saw the darkened circles of damp around her delineated nipples, her breasts beginning to leak, her body preparing for the baby. He sighed, it was her last shift, the last one that fit anyway, he had assisted her in putting it on after Michaela had managed to spill her supper down her front the night before, and he had been hoping that this one would last until he or Brian could get into town and collect the second washing load that Grace had done for them

"Hey Pa" Brian greeted him softly,

Sully quickly covered Michaela with her shawl, not wanting her to be embarrassed. His actions caused her to open her eyes, which quickly cast themselves downwards as she felt the damp fabric against her chest.

"Morning Brian" Sully called to the boy, turning to look at his son and shaking his head imperceptivity telling him not to come into the living area. Brian nodded in understanding.

Sully turned back to his red faced wife and raised her hand to his lips "Mornin" he greeted her.

"Good Morning" she returned automatically.

"Caela" he whispered his voice low his tone drawing her in holding her attention "I'll get you comfortable, and then I need ta get into town to collect the washing so I can get ya a clean shift"

She nodded slightly, a single tear rolling from her cheek, he brushed it away and rose from his crouched position to kiss her lovingly. "I'll try not to take too long so that I can get ya all clean, I promise"

* * *

Sully ran up the steps into the mercantile. Having collected the washing from Grace an idea had occurred to him. He quickly spotted Loren's white hair by one of the displays, the storekeeper's duster idlely flicking at the glassware.

"Loren" Sully greeted the older man.

"Morning Sully"

Sully placed his hand on Loren's elbow, forcing the man to look at him. "Can I have a quick word?"

"Ya can have any type of word ya like" Loren turned to look at him "Ain't like I'm busy"

Sully cast a nervous look over his shoulder "Ya got any shifts bigger then this?" he held out the white garment to Loren.

Loren stretched the shift out as far as it would go and looked at Sully in surprise "Bigger?"

"Yeah" Sully nodded meekly.

"Sorry Sully, that's the largest one I sell" Loren handed the garment back to Sully before waving his hand at someone. "Dr Mike's alright though, Ain't she?"

"James saw her yesterday, he didn't say anything was wrong, other than her leg" Sully passed on the information.

"Good" Loren breathed a sigh of relief "Cyn" he greeted the tall woman as she elegantly glided across to join them. "Can you do me a favour? Could ya make me some shifts bigger then this for Dr Mike" the shop keeper indicated the fabric in Sully's hands.

Cynthia coaxed the fabric from Sully's hand, she tested the length and the width "This is the large one I make?" she asked Loren, who nodded in confirmation. "I'll add an extra six inches to the pattern, I'm sure that will be enough"

Sully gulped before nodding, hoping that it would.

* * *

Michaela looked up as the door opened, "Oh, Cynthia" she greeted the tall woman, surprised as she had been expecting Sully, who was tending to the animals in the barn.

"Hello Michaela" Cynthia greeted her "How are you?"

"I'm alright" Michaela assured her.

Cynthia moved to stand beside the bed, her dressmaker's eye causing her to study Michaela's shift critically, making the bedridden doctor subconsciously cover her middle. "It's not a problem" Cynthia told her, smiling kindly and reaching into her basket to pull out a set of neatly folded white cloth. "I made you some more"

"What?" Michaela looked at the Scottish woman confused,

"Some more shifts" Cynthia clarified, she set the stack on the bed "Here let me help you"

"Oh No it's fine" Michaela's eyes widened in shock as Cynthia reached to help her remove her garment. "Sully will be in in a while,"

"And there is no point you being uncomfortable for any longer than necessary" Cynthia reasoned "You look like you are about to burst out of that" she nodded towards Michaela's navel which was poking tightly against the fabric.

"I..." Michaela began to protest,

"Michaela" Cynthia lowered her tone, speaking to Michaela almost as if she were a child, the dressmaker's Scottish accent warm and kind, "the only thing that you have that I don't is that baby belly. We're both women" she gave Michaela a pointed look as she shook out the night gown "Now may I help you"

Michaela nodded slightly and began shifting in order that she could pull off her tight garment. She pulled it over her head and held the fabric tightly in front of her, her inhibitions refusing to allow her to let Cynthia see her unclothed.

Cynthia took one of Michaela's hands forcing her to let go of her old shift. Michaela was surprised as Cynthia pushed a sleeve up her arm and then looped the expanse of fabric round her back. "I made it a bit like a robe" Cynthia explained as she noted the expression of confusion on Michaela's face. Casually she pushed the old shift away and brought the two sides of the new one together, tying the garment together with a series of carefully placed strips of fabric.

Michaela sighed, pleased to feel like she was no longer stuffed into her gown, not realising until she was out of it how uncomfortable she had actually been, how much freer she felt with the extra room around her. She smiled in thanks at Cynthia "Thank you"

"It's not a problem darling" Cynthia smiled, and moved back allowing Michaela to arrange herself into a more comfortable position. "I'll make some tea, we can have a chat"

"I'm afraid I'm not much of a conversationalist at the moment" Michaela frowned,

"Oh I'm sure you have some stories about that wee one of yours, the little sweetheart is the most adorable child" Cynthia complemented Katie, as she moved towards the kitchen, "Beside never found anything that couldn't be sorted with a good chat and a cup of tea"

* * *

Michaela watched Brian teaching Katie how to play cards with rising amusement, his game of patience had turned into a random version of the game snap with the exception that Katie would randomly yell snap whether the numbers matched of not, and then insist that Brian took the cards. She laughed slightly as Katie 'won' and demanded a hug from Brian as a prize. As she stopped laughing she realised that the action had been easier than before, her lungs able to expand further, and equally the pressure in her pelvis had increased. Michaela studied her abdomen, noting the change in shape and smiled slightly. The baby had dropped. Michaela sighed in relief relishing the feeling of her lungs filled to capacity, silently promising herself that she would never take breathing free and clearly for granted again.

She knew that the act of lightening was no indication that the baby was about to arrive, and equally she knew that with over four weeks left that it was too soon for the baby to be born. But it was a good indication that her pregnancy was progressing towards its natural end, that it was the first of many signs that she would soon have her little boy, that her home would soon be filled with another voice, another soul to love.


	15. Cherub

_Hey all I know it's only Monday, but I had a productive weekend so I am now a chapter ahead and I have two days off work in which I plan to get some major writing, anyway because the last chapters have been in my opinion depressing (especially the last one) I present a slightly happier one (Perhaps not for Michaela). Time to welcome a new Sully._

_PS. the bit with the scream you'll know it when you see it, it's meant to be all one word but it wouldn't let me post it, ignore the spaces.  
_

Cherub

Sully sighed as he bounced his way down the stairs to join Michaela for sleep. It had taken him a long time to get Katie to sleep tonight and after numerous false starts in which she would fall asleep only to wake 30 minutes later, he had finally as the clock chimed 1am got her to sleep and managed to extricate his arm from around her without waking her up. He pondered the thought that Katie was channelling her mother's fractious sleep pattern, for the last 3 days Michaela had been drifting off to sleep for a few hours then waking and then after a couple of hours of lethargic activity or groggy conversation she drifted off to sleep again. He fixed his eyes on his wife and frowned, she was struggling he could tell, it seemed her entire body was swelling and he wasn't sure that even if she hadn't hurt her leg she would actually be able to walk, her belly was so low and large. But she was breathing easier so that was a positive sign. He could tell she was awake even though her eyes were closed, her face lined with her concerns, while when she was asleep her face smoothed as her brain switched off its endless worrying. Lovingly he reached out and rubbed her belly.

Michaela gasped and her eyes shot open "No, please" she pushed his hand away, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Caela?" Sully pulled his hands away shocked at her reaction.

"My skin" she squeaked at him, her own hands not even moving to caress her stomach like they usually did, instead remaining rigidly by her side.

"Let me see" Sully eased open one of the ties on her gown. The white fabric slid down her gravid belly and it was his turn to gasp. In the course of the day since he dressed her in the morning, her skin had stretched to a new level of tightness, so tight that it was now shiny, looking for all the world that one touch would split it, the entire surface horribly red, and he knew that in the morning the surface would be riddled with fresh angry stretch marks. He had never seen her like this before, even her navel appeared to have flattened as if she had finally stretched too far and that once prominent little bulge was needed for an extra inch of skin.

Sully pulled back the covers; her legs were equally as swollen. "Are you alright?" he asked her terrified by her condition.

"I feel like I'm about to burst" she wiped her face and then gave a small cry as the baby elbowed her, "Every time he moves I feel like I'm going to split open

Sully ran his hand down her cheek, "You got any salve you could use?" he glanced across at her medical bag.

She shook her head, "I gave it to James" her tears increased. She gripped at his hand, her puffy fingers scrabbling to hold his. "Oh Sully" she coughed slightly, choking on her own breath. She had had enough, she was too tired, too pregnant, but it was still too soon, far too soon for the baby to come out. The baby still had four weeks of growing left, her due date not till the fourth of June and she was certain it was only the 7th or 8th of May. The timeframe seemed so long she honestly had no idea how she would be able to grow any more or how she would last that long, her body was reaching its limits she could feel it. She was bigger then she had been with Katie, her daughter had weighed in at just over seven pounds, and she was certain, that this baby weighed more than that already. She whimpered as the baby moved again, every movement the baby had made today had got progressively more torturous. Her mind was working overtime overcome by everything happening to her body and she was sure that she could hear her skin creaking as it reached its tensile limit but equally it could be her tired brain making up what she expected to hear. A fresh set of tears began with a heavy intake of breath, it was too much it was all just too much.

"It's OK" Sully reached up and tried to hug her without touching her bare belly. "I got an idea" he told her kissing her temple.

Michaela tried to control her tears as Sully raced to the kitchen, gingerly she placed her hands on her stomach, cradling it, supporting it, trying to stop it feeling like it was about to crack open like an egg.

Sully returned from the kitchen after a minute, a dish in his hand. He knelt down beside the bed, shielding the content of the dish from Michaela. "I want to try something" he told her gently, "Do ya trust me?"

"Of course" she told him with a shuddering breath.

Sully dipped his hand into the dish, before bringing his hand up and placing it softly on her belly. Michaela stared through the half light at the substance he had gently smoothed onto her skin, pale yellow, melting slowly with the warmth of both their skin "Butter!" she exclaimed in shock "You're basting me!"

Sully bit his lip, his hands pausing in their gentle massage of her tight gravid middle "I thought it might help"

Michaela sighed "It is" she admitted weakly. She watched his hands move in circles, his large palms, smoothing the melted oily substance into her tender flesh. "What gave you the idea?"

Sully looked up at her sheepishly "Ya have ta oil leather ta stop it from crackin, and that's skin"

"Oh" Michaela whispered quietly, somewhat embarrassed for her skin to be likened to cow hide.

Sully scowled slightly as he caught her nervous, embarrassed look. He paused in his ministrations and leaned forward, kissing first her slick belly and then her plump lips. Michaela opened her mouth to speak, but the noise of their daughter waking up and shouting for him interrupted her before her lips could form the words.

Sully sighed, his head sagging forward, his unusually frazzled nerves allowing him to become frustrated with his daughter.

"I'm sorry" Michaela's words made him look up at her, her face pensive, upset she couldn't assist him in caring for Katie.

"It's alright" Sully assured her, moving to kiss her now buttery lips. He rested his hand lightly on her belly "You're looking after this one" he kissed her sweetly again "I'll be back, in a moment"

* * *

Sully looked up at the clock as he felt the sensation again. He noted the time down on the notepad and returned his hand to the lower curve of Michaela's belly. Now that is was seven he felt as if he could make her open her eyes. Her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't asleep, she was trying to but she was distracted by the rhythmic contractions which had begun about 3 hours ago. He had tried to question her about them on their last privy stop but she had changed the subject. Sully knew she was frightened that it was too soon for her to be experiencing contractions that were sustained and coming roughly every 18 minutes apart, he knew it was too soon, but if it was the start of labour, he was relieved, he knew her body had reached its limit, that it wasn't normal for her to be swelling in such a way, but every time he asked her she dismissed him, with her almost trademark 'I'm a Doctor' response, her voice may have sounded confident in her dismissal of her symptoms but her face gave her away, every nuance indicating to him, she was terrified of what was playing out within her exhausted body.

Sully raised one of his hands to brush the hair from her face. "Michaela" he whispered

Her beautiful two tone eyes snapped open "It's not labour Sully, only false labour" she told him before he had a chance to ask her "I have yet to pass the mucous plug"

"You have yet to what?" Sully frowned not certain of what she was talking about.

Michaela smiled weakly at him and with difficulty raised her arm to him, her limb felt like lead, she tried to stroke his face but her swollen fingers felt like they had no sensation. "There is a substance that forms over the cervix to prevent infection, when the cervix begins to open that substance comes away, it is to be used as a indicator that labour is approaching,"

"And ya haven't had it yet?" she nodded in confirmation, Sully sighed and soothingly rubbed his hand up and down her arm, "Alright" he muttered. He sighed, knowing what he needed to do, knowing that she would hate it. It almost felt like they were courting again, him trying to figure out how to get her to drop the doctor shield she used to hide from her fears. He forced himself to smile "How bout I take ya up to the lake?"

"That would be very difficult" Michaela gestured downwards.

"No it wouldn't" Sully dismissed, "besides ya liked it"

"It did give me a lot of relief" Michaela admitted, she sighed, torn between staying and going, as if staying was an admission that something was wrong.

"Come on" Sully coaxed her leaning in and kissing her softly.

She looked into his eyes in an instant knowing that they would not be going to the lake "Alright"

"Good" Sully straightened up and backed away from her slowly. He hated lying to her, and he felt as if he should have a long shower or wash his mouth out for doing it to her, but he had to do it for her sakes and the baby's. "I'm gonna go check on the kids" he turned away from her running his hand nervously through his honey toned hair. Everything about this day felt wrong, he was lying to Michaela, she was lying to him, all the while her health and possibly the health of their unborn baby's was hanging by a thread. The baby could be about to make an appearance but at what cost to it, Katie had been two weeks early and had suffered no ill effects, but four weeks, there could be any number of problems. But the longer the pregnancy dragged on for, the sicker Michaela was getting.

He climbed up the stairs, his entire body aching, his brain running at a mile a minute, there was so much going through his head at the moment, but the swirling mess of thoughts all circled the single through that he wanted Michaela and the baby to be safe, and he had no way of making that happen, no way of making sure. Everything about the whole situation pinned on Michaela's exhausted broken swollen body. The guilt and worry was eating him up inside, worry for her safety, her wellbeing, and the enormous guilt that he felt as he had caused her torment, he had caused her pain and suffering, he had got her pregnant, his actions causing her to suffer.

Sully slipped into Brian's room, the teenager was still asleep his long awkward limbs emerging from the quilt. Despondently Sully sank to the mattress causing Brian to wake.

"Hey Pa" Brian wiped the sleep from his eyes as he greeted his father.

"Son," Sully greeted him, placing his large palm on Brian's chest, his hand positioned over Brian's heart. Brian held the palm, holding it in place, a tender moment between a man and his man child son.

"Is Ma alright?" Brian asked as he noted Sully's subdued demeanour.

Sully shrugged "She says she is" he looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop himself from crying in front of Brian. "I think she might be about to have the baby though"

"You gonna take her to James?" Brian asked sitting up and placing his hand on Sully's shoulder "I'll watch Katie"

"Thanks son" whispered quietly

"Don't worry Pa" Brian squeezed Sully's shoulder tightly "Ma'll be fine, they both will"

* * *

Michaela looked up from where she lay in the bed of the new wagon, Sully was guiding the vehicle slowly so not to jostle her and cause her any pain. She knew that they were not heading out to the lake, but that they were heading to the Chateau. While it pained her that he had felt the need to lie to her, she knew he had done it because she was stubborn and she was too close to the situation. She needed to be told what to do, be looked after, and as Sully couldn't do that he was taking her to the person who could. She exhaled slowly another wave of pressure passing through her stomach. She didn't think she was in labour, it certainly didn't feel like when she had delivered Katie, but equally these sensations did not feel like the false contractions she had been having since her sixth month. She caught sight of Sully glancing back at her; his face was pale with worry.

Michaela smiled up at him, the fresh breeze passing across her cheeks making her feel more awake and calmer "Will James be at the Chateau this early?" she lifted her arm up as he bit his lip, her hand touched his lower back through the space between the seat and the seat back "It's alright" she assured him, "thank you for looking after me" Sully nodded slightly keeping his attention on the road, almost like he couldn't look at her as if he was too frightened to. "Sully" Michaela called for his attention "I'm not angry, you've done the right thing"

He looked back at her letting the horse pull the wagon down the path to the Chateau "So something's not right?" his eyes were wide with fear. Michaela nodded silently, her arms cupping the underside of her bump "are you going to be OK?"

"I'm going to have our baby Sully, and he's will be fine" Michaela smiled up at him

"What about you?" Sully asked again as he brought the wagon to a stop in front of the Chateau. He stood and indicated to the doorman "Can ya get Dr Caulfield please" With that he climbed over the seat and crouched down beside her "What about you huh?" Sully stroked her face, his eyes burning into hers as he stared at her with fear "You're gonna be Ok right?"

Michaela didn't get a chance to answer as James appeared at the back of the wagon. "Oof" the small man muttered after taking one look at her and levered himself into the wagon with surprising speed. He gripped Michaela's wrist "How long have you been swelling like this?" he asked examining her fingers.

"Her fingers and feet an' ankles have been swelling for a while, but she started swelling real bad last night" Sully answered for her

James finished taking her pulse and peered into Michaela's eyes "How is your vision?"

"It's fine. Do you believe I may be suffering from preeclampsia?" Michaela asked him nervously, for the first time admitting her concerns out loud.

"Yes" James beckoned to someone near the door of the hotel "I believe your body has just had enough, what with the trauma of your injury and the effect of the heat exhaustion. Not to mention that sheer pressure on your body of carrying such a large foetus"

"What's that mean" Sully asked nervously, his hand rapidly stroking Michaela's hair as he automatically tried to comfort her.

"It may mean we will need to deliver by caesarean section" James informed him.

"No" Michaela interrupted, brushing Sully's hand away from her head, and bringing it down to cover her stomach, as if his hands would aid her protect her belly.

"It may be a necessity" James reasoned with her, "if your condition does not improve"

Preston joined them at the side of the wagon "James what do you..." he glanced at Michaela and Sully "Oh, is the baby on the way?"

"Not yet" James muttered leaping from the wagon "I believe 203 is free, Michaela will be staying in there until she delivers"

Preston took this information in for a second, he glanced at James before his eyes wandered up to Michaela, coming to rest first on her stomach and then on her splinted ankle "No"

"What!" James and Sully spoke at the same time, and Sully knew that had Michaela not been gripping his hand he would have leapt from the wagon and punched the hotel manager.

"Well the Chateau will be without a doctor then" James bristled with anger, "I shall be taking Michaela to her clinic and..."

"James" Preston raised his hand to stop the other man from talking "Forgive me I did not mean she could not stay just that she cannot stay in 203. The couple in 101 are checking out this morning Michaela can stay in that room, as it's on the ground floor it will be easier for you to move Dr Quinn about" he gave a forced smile "You will have to wait for them to leave"

"That's fine" James agreed "Apologies"

"Not an issue" Preston glanced at Michaela again "I will inform you when the room is free, James, Sully" he nodded "Michaela" Preston walked off leaving them alone again.

"Now my dear" James turned back to Michaela "Let's take you to the examination room and I'll do a thorough exam"

* * *

Brian gently shook his sister awake, it was nearing nine thirty in the morning, and while he knew she had not slept well last night and that really he should not wake her, he was so nervous about what was happening to his Ma he needed to talk to someone.

Katie opened and closed her eyes a few times. "Bwrian" she mumbled attempting to roll over and go back to sleep.

"Come on sleepy girl, you need to get up" Brian shook her using her shoulder.

"No" Katie swatted his hand away and yawned widely.

"Guess what?" Brian leant in close.

"No wanna pway" Katie told him grumpily.

"Mama might be having the baby"

Katie sat up abruptly and their heads collided "OWW" Katie bellowed seizing the side of her head. Quickly she clambered out of her bed, and still clutching her head she ran from the room.

Brian followed her, watching Katie carefully as she made her way down the steps.

"Mama weally gone" Katie stared at the empty mattress in the corner of the living room.

"Yep"

"I gonna be big sistah!" Katie exclaimed happily.

"Yup" Brian scooped up his sister into his arms "It may take a while though"

"How long?" Katie scrunched her face up.

"I don't know having a baby takes a long time" Brian hugged her "Pa said if they weren't back by dinner time we should go to the Chateau"

"I need ta make pwresent" Katie decided "What I do?"

"Ya could draw something" Brian told her thinking of the only thing that his sister was capable of doing.

"Good idea" Katie reached her hand around his neck "What I draw?"

"Ya could draw Ma or Pa" Brian offered.

"I do that," Katie nodded, "I down pw-puhlease" Brian complied lowering her to the ground. Katie scampered to were the paper was kept on Michaela's desk and pulled a creamy sheet from the neat stack. "Bwrian?" she turned back to her brother "Havin baby hurt?"

"Yeah" Brian nodded "Ladies yell alot, but they're all smiley after they have the baby. When Ma had you she couldn't stop smiling"

"I like it when Mama smiyal" Katie sighed dramatically "want Mama to be happy"

"She will be Katie girl, don't you worry" Brian hugged his sister again "She will be"

* * *

Michaela moved her head from her husband to her doctor, at any other time she would be frustrated at them talking about her as if she wasn't here, but she was beyond that, her attention drawn to the sensation of the baby's head pushing downwards. Her eyes fixed on James as he said caesarean again. "No" she gasped slightly shifting herself as the wave of pressure coursed through her again. "I don't want a caesarean section"

Sully dropped to his knees beside her "But, if its best for you or the baby"

"It's an operation Sully, I don't want..." her eyes bulged as the feeling of pressure increased, she gasped and reached for Sully's hand squeezing it tightly as the pressure gave way to pain.

The pain dissipated but the pressure remained, an aching pressure that built and built. She gasped as she silently begged for release, her eyes squeezed shut, she was conscious of Sully and James speaking to her but she was to overcome by the tremendous pressure in her pelvis. Michaela gave a slight squeal and her eyes snapped open. She almost thought she heard a pop within her as the pressure burst, followed by the sound of rushing liquid. Sully leapt out of the way as his wife's waters broke abundantly over the floor. After a moment of initial shock he was back at her side, reaching for her hand.

Michaela slumped back in her seat, a moments respite from the pressure before a contraction ripped through her, the pain followed the same path of the waves she had been feeling earlier but this one hurt, as if the fluid surrounding the baby had been acting as some kind of buffer. Sully and James were at her side, both men holding her hands as she opened her mouth in a silent scream.

As she straightened up with a gasp James took note of the time. "Well my dear, I think you have got your wish" he smiled kindly at her

"It's too soon" Michaela whispered, her eyes filling with tears as her emotions raced through her. Now that she was actually officially identified as being in labour her concerns for the health of the baby coming to the fore.

James patted her hand lightly "One thing at a time Michaela." He smiled at her again before looking over at Sully "Do you have a spare gown for her?"

"Yeah" Sully nodded, looking bewildered, his eyes focused on Michaela.

"I would like you to get it for her" James told the father to be gently "I want Michaela to be comfortable"

James's last words had the desired effect and Sully jumped to his feet "You be ok?" he asked Michaela nervously

"I'll be fine" Michaela assured him "A fresh gown would be most welcome" she gingerly shifted, grimacing as she felt more fluid trickle from her. Sully nodded and quickly left the room.

Finally alone James forced Michaela to make eye contact with him "Now my dear are you going to tell me how you really feel" he noted her anxious expression "I know you are trying to protect him" James took her hand "but today is all about you and the baby, don't waste your energy on how we feel, you can shout and scream at us all you like, and I need to know how you are feeling"

"I think my condition is worsening" she admitted weakly "If I move my head too quickly I feel dizzy"

"Ok" James nodded at this new snippet of information "I know you don't want it, but you may still need to have ..."

"If something goes wrong" Michaela interrupted him "Make sure the baby is alright"

"Oof" James frowned "I'll have none of that thank you" he smiled at her reassuringly, "we'll take things one step at a time." He grinned at her "We Doctors make the worst patients" he looked pleased as Michaela laughed slightly "Now you're well into Stage one, about 4 centimetres dilated" he continued as Michaela's eyes widened with shock "You appear to be in active labour, I am uncertain if you are in latent or active we'll have to wait and see how you progress."

"4 centimetres!" Michaela blinked several times as she considered the number. She tenderly rubbed the top half of her belly, both her hands moving in slow soothing movements either side of the swell.

"How long have you been feeling contractions?" James asked her moving away from her and retrieving a towel from his linen closet. He flicked the white fabric out and it fluttered to cover the fluid on the floor, soaking the liquid up in a matter of seconds.

"I believe they started around 4am" Michaela winced slightly as she felt another contraction build.

James returned to her side and offered his hand to her. Michaela took it and seized it squeezing hard as the pain built within her. She gave a squeaking 'ow' as the pain peaked before it slowly ebbed away.

"5 minutes apart, approximately 30 seconds in duration. We should have a baby before the end of the day" James extricated his hand from her grip, "You've been in labour for just under 6 hours I believe."

There was a faint knock on the door; Preston entered before he was invited in. His eyes fell on the towel on the floor, before travelling to the large damp patch on Michaela's gown. He turned his nose up in disgust.

"Dr Quinn is in labour, her water's have broken" James explained.

Preston nodded in understanding but looked no less disgusted. "Room 101 is ready"

"Excellent" James bubbled effervescently "We'll get you changed my dear and then moved into the room where you will be more comfortable"

"Congratulations Michaela" Preston nodded to her "I hope you have a swift uncomplicated delivery"

* * *

"AHHHHHHHHHUUUUUURRRRRRRR UUUHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOWWWW" Michaela screamed in agony before slumping back against the pillows of the bed as the contraction waned. She was well and truly in the active stage of labour now. Time felt like it was dragging, according to James it was only 3.30 but she felt as if she had been weathering the increasingly intense contractions for days. The contractions were coming every two or so minutes apart now and lasting a full minute, yet on her last examination James had stated that she was still only six centimetres dilated. She scowled as Sully sat down on the bed beside her

"Do ya want something to eat?" he asked her nervously reaching out to brush a damp tendril of hair from her face.

"No" she pushed his hand away.

"Do ya need to go to the bathroom?" Sully asked her, just as he asked her every few minutes.

"Stop asking me questions" Michaela hissed in annoyance, "I don't need anything"

"OK" Sully whispered quietly. He stood up from the double bed and slowly circumnavigated it. By the time he had moved to the other side of the bed Michaela was in tears.

"Sully" she held out her arms, reaching for him.

Awkwardly Sully took her into his arms, he was thoroughly confused by her behaviour, one minute reaching out for him, the next minute pushing him away, snapping and snarling, then professing her love. He knew he had to go along with it, support her the best he could but he was struggling to do so, Michaela's labours one of the few times that he did not know how to behave around her.

"I love you" Michaela whispered into his chest

"I love you too" Sully assured her tenderly rubbing her upper back.

"I'm sorry I'm sooooooooooooooooo" the last syllable of the word so elongated into a cry of pain as another contraction seized her. Michaela's fingers clamped down on Sully's muscular biceps. Sully winced but kept silent, knowing that the crushing pain in his arms was nothing compared to what she was going through, and it was much better then when she squeezed his face when delivering Katie.

The contraction ended and she went limp panting with the exertion, she kept her face pressed against his chest, the steady thump of his heart comforting her, helping her keep a handle on how time was progressing, his heart keeping the time between the brief moments of rest and the agony that showed the baby was on his way.

"Do you." Sully stopped his question before even started it not wanting to anger her. "I'll get you some water"

"No" Michaela gripped him again "Just hold me, please, just hold me, I need you to hold me,"

"Ok" Sully moved his arm back to gently stroke her back, he could feel her muscles were knotted and tense her entire body coiled up like a spring with the effort she was putting into delivering the baby.

"I love you" Michaela whispered again "please don't let me go, I need you to hold me so badly"

"I'm not going anywhere" he softly kissed her damp hair "I'll be with you the whole time"

"Promise" Michaela insisted her voice sounding frantic "I need you to promise me you won't leave me"

"I promise" Sully frowned at the tone of her voice

Michaela gave a soft squeal as she felt another contraction build "I love y..." her declaration was lost as her ability to speak was swallowed up in another wave of pain, another contraction that was bringing the birth of the baby ever closer.

* * *

Loren slowed the buggy as he approached the Sully homestead. He had waited all day for Sully to show up for his supplies before finally at 5 o'clock he had decided that Sully would not be coming into town. Concerned that something was amiss with the family Loren had closed the store 30 minutes early loaded up the ordered supplies and headed for the homestead.

Loren pulled Jasper to a halt and climbed down from the black buggy, he barely had time to climb the steps before Katie came barrelling out of the front door.

"Misser Bway" she greeted him, leaping from the top step into his arms.

Brian followed his sister out the house a moment later, Katie's coat in his hands. "Hey Mr Bray"

"Hey lad" Loren greeted the teenage boy. "Everything OK?"

Brian shrugged slightly and held his arms out for Katie so he could put coat on. As the sun was beginning to dip down behind the trees a chill had begun to descend. "Pa took Ma to the Chateau, he said to come out if they weren't back by supper"

"Mama havin baby" Katie grinned

"She is?" Loren looked up to Brian with surprise "Ain't it too early for her to be having it?"  
"I don't know" Brian shrugged again "But Pa thought that was what was happening,"

Loren exhaled with a shake of his head. "You two eaten?" he changed tack.

"No" Brian admitted

Loren lowered Katie onto the porch "Well I'll tell ya what, I'll cook ya a nice plate a food then we'll all go over ta the Chateau to see how ya Ma is doing would ya like that?"

"Candy?" Katie questioned.

Loren chuckled and tickled the little girl under chin, "You got a sweet tooth like ya big brother. I got candy, but ya only get it if ya eat ya all ya vegetables"

"I eat dem all" Katie promised she grinned at the two men, "You cook now"

"Ahh hold on" Loren smiled back at her "I gotta get my supplies first" He quickly gathered the laden box from his buggy. As he walked back up the steps to the home he placed a reassuring hand on Brian's forearm "Ya Ma will be fine lad just fine."

* * *

Preston massaged his temples as the sound of Michaela screaming reached the front desk again. He knew that labour took a long time, but this seemed to be taking forever, and her incessant screaming was getting to him, just as it seemed to be getting to a lot of the patrons, many of whom had seemed to spent most of their time out of the hotel today in an effort to get away from the noise, most of them were still in the dining hall even though the dinner service had been over for 20 minutes. But as the dining hall was at the furthest distance to room 101 it did provide them some respite.

He scowled as someone chimed the bell on the reception. "The woman is in labour" he started to speak before looking up, more than one patron had complained about the noise, as if he could have done anything to quiet Michaela.

"Is Ma OK?"

Preston studied the face of Michaela's worried son, he rose "As far as I'm aware"

"Evening Preston" Loren greeted the hotelier. "I'll be needing a room"

"I have one room available"

"Deduct the charge from what ya owe me this week on ya order" Loren told him.

"Certainly" Preston sighed and handed over the key. "I don't want you two running up and down the stairs" he added staring pointedly at Katie "Your mother will need to be relaxed as possible, I'm sure once she has delivered your sibling Michaela will be happy to see you"

"I'll keep them out of the way" Loren assured Preston. "They won't bother Dr Mike"

* * *

Michaela looked up at James in confusion, after what had surely been the most intense pain of her life her contractions had suddenly stopped, and she had been without the screeching pain for over 10 minutes. She still ached, but it was akin to the pain she felt during her monthlies. The doctoring part of her brain was telling her that she had entered stage two and her body was switching gears to begin pushing the baby out, but her normal exhausted brain was a mess. She just wanted it over though she had to admit there was a small amount of relief to be had from not being in constant agony. She gasped as she felt the start of a new type of contraction, her gasp turned into a moan. "I think I need to push" she whispered, feeling the urge grow within her.

"Then push my dear" James peered at her opening, watching it intently as Michaela forced her chin into her chest. She gritted her teeth and bore down hard, she felt the baby move slightly, but when she stopped pushing she felt it slip back. From what she remembered from having Katie she didn't remember the pushing taking very long, but she wasn't certain that she would be so fortunate this time around.

* * *

Two and a half hours later she was still pushing, the intense burning sensation between her legs was huge and she was sure she would rip apart at any moment. Suddenly James voice reached out to her, "Michaela stop pushing" she forced her eyes open and stared over the mound of her stomach to gaze at the top of his head with disbelief, every part of her body was urging her to push and here a man was telling her to stop.

"I can't" she tensed again pushing hard.

"MICHAELA STOP" James yelled at her.

His raised tone was enough to stop her from pushing "Why?" she arched her back as she felt the need to push again but refrained.

"The head is out, we're just having a bit of trouble with the shoulders" James told her calmly, as if he had just told her the weather.

"What?" Michaela stared at him terrified, laying on her back it was impossible for her to see what was going on. All she knew was the horrid burning pain between her legs, and the tremendous overwhelming need to push which was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

"Sully" James coaxed the terrified father who was sat beside Michaela lovingly stroking her arm, and whispering encouragement to her "I need you to find someone to help, as quickly as possible please"

Sully was up in an instant, the way the doctor had said as quickly as possible feeling as if a knife had been plunged into his heart and that if he was not quick something terrible would happen. He knew it was late and he wondered where he would find someone at this hour. Sully threw open the door and nearly collided with Preston who was hovering just outside the door. "Get in here" Sully grasped hold of Preston's well tailored suit pulling him into the room by the collar.

"Um" Preston forced his eyes to the ceiling as he saw the most shocking thing he had ever seen in his life playing out between Michaela's trembling legs. He resisted the need to vomit and allowed Sully to drag him further into the room.

"Good" James called glancing over his shoulder at the two men. "I need you to take a leg each" both men did as they were told, each gingerly taking hold of one of Michaela's legs.

"What are you doing?" Michaela panted, still fighting the urge to push.

"Now I want you to push her legs back as far as they will go" James ordered "Sully be careful of her ankle."

"What?" Sully stared at the doctor in shock.

"The baby is stuck" James told him, "I need to widen the pelvis so that it will pass through. Sully please I need you to do this now"

Sully noted the urgency in the Doctor's voice and complied slowly bringing Michaela's leg back towards her head.

"What are you doing" Michaela whimpered, the pain intensifying as her legs were brought closer to her body "Stop it" she requested weakly as her legs were hyper flexed beyond anything she thought possible.

"Push Michaela" James urged "Push"

"I" Michaela opened her mouth to protest, but she felt the urge, the burning desire to push her baby out of her. She pushed her chin into her chest, feeling like she was curled into a ball. With every ounce of energy she still had she pushed. This time something felt different, she could feel the baby move.

"Push, push, push, push" James urged, using his fingers to help guide the baby into the world "push, push"

Michaela grunted with the effort before finally she felt it, the relief as the baby slide out of her; she slumped exhausted back against the pillows. Sully and Preston lowered her legs to the mattress both their eyes drawn to the infant in James's arms.

"Good lord" Preston exclaimed as he took in the size of the baby.

"Is he alright?" Michaela asked weakly,

James stood up and placed the baby onto her belly. "It would appear we are both wrong Michaela, it's a girl, and she was born at 12.03am"

"It's a girl" Michaela repeated, bringing her arms to touch the gooey baby on her slightly deflated middle. The baby looked stunned, her wide blue eyes blinking quickly as she took in the world around her. Michaela stroked the baby's back and the child began to snuffle and wail, evidently upset at being taken from its comfortable home.

"She's so big" Sully stared down at the dark haired baby in awe. The baby was huge, longer and larger then Katie had been in every way, seeing her it was no surprise that Michaela had had the trouble she had. "She's so beautiful" he whispered a tear rolling down his cheek. He crouched down and kissed Michaela. "Well done, you were amazing"

"It's a girl" Michaela repeated, as she stroked the baby. "Sully we have a little girl" Instinctively she brought the baby to her breast so that it could nurse. Her body reacting to the baby's rooting mouth. She smiled as the baby intuitively latched onto her breast. "We have a little girl" she repeated again. Michaela forced herself to tear her eyes away from her new daughter and look up at her husband. "Thank you"

"You did all the work" Sully kissed her again. He noticed her wince slightly. "You Ok?"

"Afterbirth" she whispered as she felt a slight cramp. "Sully we have a girl, we have a girl" her eyes fell down to study the baby, checking her tiny hands and feet that everything was as it should be "She's perfect! a girl, Sully we have a girl"

* * *

Twenty minutes after the birth of the baby James began to tidy the room, now that she had delivered Michaela's condition was beginning to improve. She had successfully delivered the placenta intact and had fed the baby and she was thoroughly besotted with her new child. He knew that the trauma of the birth was all but a distant memory but he knew that he needed to check the child for any injury sustained during her dramatic entry into the world. He looked up as there was a faint knock on the door, opening the dark wood door he found Preston proffering a bowl of soup "I thought Michaela might be hungry" Preston explained he hovered nervously before James stepped back and allowed him entry.

"Michaela, perhaps while you eat I could take the baby and get her weighed" James suggested, forcing the female doctor to look up from her new daughter.

"I don't want her to be alone" Michaela cradled the baby protectively; conscious that she could now no longer protect the baby in the way she had less than half an hour earlier. "Go with her" she urged her husband.

"What about you?" Sully looked at her concerned, while Michaela looked ecstatic he could tell she was exhausted and the pallor of her skin told him that she was only starting to recover from whatever had brought about the early delivery of the baby.

"I can stay with Michaela" Preston offered from the table where he had set the tray.

"Yes" Michaela readily agreed "You go with her"

Sully cast a nervous look at Preston before gently lifting his new daughter into his arms and following James out of the bedroom.

Preston cautiously approached the bed, a bowl of tender chunks of chicken floating in a clear broth in his hand. He pulled a chair to sit beside the bed and smiled at Michaela "You were marvellous" he admitted to her "I never realised it was quite like that" he smiled and offered her the bowl.

Michaela shook her head "Thank you for your help" she cringed slightly as she felt an ache in her middle, the beginning of her body returning to normal.

"It was nothing. Does she have a name?" Preston asked curiously

Michaela laughed briefly "I thought she would be a boy"

"My mother had that problem" Preston smiled at Michaela "She was convinced I was to be a girl, even had a name picked out, and went as far as calling me it while she was still pregnant. My brother's took great delight in calling me Esmee the dancing girl when I was a child" he smiled sheepishly "Esmee it's short for Esmeralda" he explained "My mother read the 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' and liked the name. I believe that is why she finally relented and allowed my father to name a son after himself" He filled the spoon with the broth and a chunk of chicken and held it out to her, encouraging her to eat. "Please Michaela you must have something, you've been through quite an ordeal"

Michaela took a mouthful to please him and laid her head back against the pillows. "Thank you" she told him distantly, distracted by the thought of what to call her new daughter.

"Perhaps when Sully returns, I could get a bath prepared for you" Preston offered. "And get the sheets changed"

"I would like that" Michaela responded her mind considering possible names for her daughter. She was conscious that Preston had continued to speak to her, but nothing he was saying registered, as she was in another place, her heart with the baby in the other room.

* * *

"9 pound 8 ounces" James stated as he lifted the naked infant from the scale. "Quite a size"

"Why is she so big?" Sully asked staring at his daughter in awe.

"I'm not certain" James admitted "I have seen several large infants in my time, one of 12 pounds but that was a child who was two weeks late. I have a feeling that had Michaela continued to term, you would have been looking at a child of that size" James winced slightly at the thought "A caesarean would have been an absolute necessity"

"Is she alright?" Sully asked again, watching as James loosely swaddled the baby in a towel.

"She appears fine" James assured him "No ill effects from her early birth or the manner of her delivery." He handed the baby to its father and smiled as he watched Sully fall head over the heels in love with the baby. It was the first real time that Sully had had a chance to hold and bond with the baby as Michaela had been so intent on holding the child. "It may be prudent to watch her breathing; some premature infants suffer from chronic conditions such as asthma," he smiled as Sully reached down and stroked his new daughter's cheek. "Does she have a name?"

"No" Sully grinned "Michaela thought she was a boy, she was thinking of calling a boy Oscar or Joshua, not really a girls version of either of those"

"I was always partial to the name Amelia myself" James smiled "She looks like you" he studied the baby's face.

"Nah" Sully dismissed the notion "Just her hair, she looks exactly like Katie did, and she looks like Michaela" Sully looked up thoughtfully "James how close did I come to..." he trailed off "You know?"

James frowned "Oof, you don't want me to answer that Sully" he shook his head.

"It was that bad?" Sully frowned, the thought that he had been so close to losing Michaela dampening the excitement he was feeling about the baby being in his arms.

James sighed and reached out to comfort the new father "I would advise against having anymore children." The doctor stated, saying what he needed without uttering the actual words "Be thankful for what you have"

"I am" Sully turned his eyes back to his new daughter "I am"

* * *

Sully re-entered the hotel room, Michaela gave him an exhausted happy smile and held out her arms to take her daughter back. "She's fine." Sully assured her as he sank onto the bed and handed the baby over with a kiss. "Guess how much she weighed"

"I don't know 8 lb something" Michaela smiled down at her daughter, all the pain forgotten as she stared at the smooth pink cheeks of her new child.

"9lb 8" Sully grinned.

"My goodness!" Michaela exclaimed "No wonder I had trouble" she raised the baby to her lips and kissed her softly, "Sully I would like to name her Esmee"

There was a clatter as Preston who had tried to act inconspicuously dropped the dishes in his hand with surprise. The baby let out a wail at the sudden noise. Michaela nestled the baby against her neck, her hand stroking the child's bare back in slow soothing strokes, her world existing of her new baby and not much else, even her beloved husband seemed something of a nonentity, his presence eclipsed by the joy and overwhelming love she felt for the little girl in her arms.

"Why?" Sully returned his eyes to his wife.

"In the book Hunchback of Notre Dame there is a character called Esmeralda. In the book the character is described as being innocent, close to nature, naturally compassionate and kind. While I don't care for the name Esmeralda, I like the description, and Esmee is a derivative." Michaela explained, her eyes not leaving the baby for a second.

"I like the thought of her being those things" Sully agreed. He reached out and cupped the baby's head in his hand. "What do you think huh? Do ya like Esmee?" The new parents giggled as the baby waggled her long legs and arms in an apparently happy gesture. "Esmee it is then. Esmee Sully" He sounded it out "Sounds good" he caught Esmee's waving arm and placed his finger in the palm of her hand, she reflexly wrapped her tiny fingers around his, holding it tight. Sully sighed with happiness, utterly enthralled by the baby.

"What should her middle name be, perhaps, Charlotte or Rebecca?" Michaela mused

Sully kissed Michaela's forehead "It can wait, you need to get some sleep"

"No" Michaela shook her head "I want to do this now. I want her to have a name before we have to accept visitors"

"Ok" Sully agreed. He frowned as he thought, he had never been one for names, the names they had used for the first daughter had been easy as it was the names of their mothers, he sighed he had only one to offer "What about Amelia? James suggested it"

Michaela tipped her head to the side as she considered the name "Amelia, Esmee Amelia, Esmee Amelia Sully" she whispered "Esmee Amelia Sully" she smiled and turned to look up to Sully "It's perfect!"

"Perfect name for a perfect baby" Sully grinned before softly kissing Michaela's hair. He lowered down and kissed the baby softly on the cheek "Welcome to the world Esmee"

* * *

Sully made his way to the room that Preston had highlighted his other children were in. Michaela had finally fallen asleep, the warm bath with water from the hot spring relaxing her and the fresh clothes and sheets that Preston had procured and made the bed with making her feel somewhat normal, allowing her to slip into quite possibly the most rested sleep she had had for a while, or would have for a few months. He carefully opened the door, conscious of not upsetting Esmee in his arms. Inside the room he smiled, Loren was sat in a chair his eyes closed, while the children were nestled together in the large bed.

As he moved into the room, Loren opened his eyes, he studied the blanket that housed the baby in Sully's arm and grinned "Well ain't that grand"

"It's a little girl" Sully beamed proudly "Though she ain't that little. 9 pound 8" Sully turned Esmee so that Loren could see her.

"She's a little chunk" Loren chuckled slightly "And she's real pretty"

"Her name's Esmee" Sully revealed. As he said her name Esmee gave a small squeal. Katie sat up abruptly her brown eyes transfixed by what was in her papa's arms. "Hey Katie girl" Sully greeted his older daughter

"Dat da baby" Katie stated, she wriggled out of Brian's arms and clambered over older brother, waking him in the process.

"This is your little sister" Sully introduced the two siblings, he sat on the bed so Katie could get a closer look. "Her name is Esmee"

"Papa" Katie exclaimed, her mouth dropping open "see pwetty"

"She is" Sully agreed

"I touch?" Katie asked moving as close to Sully as she could.

"Yep" Sully nodded, he grinned as Katie reached her small hand to touch her new sister, watching as her face transformed with awe "You like her?"

Katie nodded her head reverently "Love her" she studied Esmee intently for a few seconds "Papa see big"

Sully chuckled "She is"

Katie frowned, her brain working overtime, she knew that having a baby hurt, she had heard people scream, she had heard her Mama scream. She looked up worried at her father "Mama ok?"

Sully nodded "Ya Ma is having a sleep, she worked real hard"

"See not huwted" Katie demanded "See scweaming, I heared her"

Sully smiled, overwhelmed by his small daughter's concern for her mother. "Having a baby hurts, but as soon as she saw Esmee ya Ma was fine, just like she was with you" he kissed Katie's soft blonde hair. "Ya Ma just needs a rest and then you can see her. Is that alright big sister?"

Katie's eyes widened in delight at her new moniker. She turned and half jumped on Brian, forcing the teenage boy to awaken fully "Bwrian I BIG SISTAH" she screeched at him delighted "Lookie" she moved out of the way so that Brian could see Esmee.

Stretching Brian sat up as he studied the baby "It's a girl" he said surprised as he noticed the baby's bare anatomy.

"Yeah" Sully grinned "Esmee Amelia"

Brian grinned "She's real pretty Pa. We're gonna have our work cut out for us when she's older" he grinned as Sully's face fell slightly, clearly not wanting to think of the precious baby as anything but an infant. "You look happy"

Sully nodded his eyes drawn back to the baby in his arms "I am" he looked up as Loren opened the door "Ya leavin?"

"Yup" Loren nodded "I gotta business ta run," he smiled at Sully "Congratulations Sully" he slipped from the room barely noticed as the family in the bed turned their attention back to the baby.

"Can I hold her?" Brian requested as the door closed.

"Me furrrz" Katie bleated.

Sully grinned "Ya can both hold her as much as ya like" he looked at the baby, finally asleep worn out by her dramatic entry into the world "But she's sleepin now, you'll have plenty o time to hold her later"

"I watch her den" Katie decided flopping onto her stomach and resting her chin on Sully's leg. "I watch her forever"

* * *

Horace opened the window to the telegraph office at the sound of the knock on the glass. The telegraph company had fixed the line only two days previously and he'd been coming in early to get the backlog of wires sorted, he still had a neat stack to send off, folks wanting to let their friends and relatives know they were alright after the fire.

"Mornin Loren" he greeted the white haired store keeper.

Loren grinned widely at him and fingered his pockets "I gotta send some wires"

"Sure thing" Horace picked up the customary slip of paper and a pencil, to take down the message.

"Gotta be sent to three people, same message though." Loren explained "Announcing the birth" he started

"Dr Mike had the baby!" Horace straightened at the news "She alright?"

"She's fine, they both are" Loren assured him. "Announcing the birth of Esmee Amelia Sully, born 9th May 1874 weighing 9lb 8 ounces" he grinned "I need ya to send that to Elizabeth, Matthew and Colleen."

"Sure thing Loren" Horace smiled widely as he read the message back "That's a real pretty name"

"For a real pretty baby" Loren grinned and set a coin down on the counter "And you spread the word" he turned away from the counter and moved down the platform towards the awakening town. His heart was filled with pride "This town gotta new resident," he told one of the workers at the seed n stuff store who was setting out his display "the Sully's got a new daughter" He turned and waved back at Horace, almost dancing with happiness, for all the world feeling like the proud grandfather. "Ya hear that Colorado Springs" his voice raised in happiness "Dr Mike had the baby, a beautiful bouncing baby girl"


	16. The Secrets we keep

_Phew that was close, have been without internet since yesterday evening, rubbishness, I was beginning to think it was a good thing I posted a chapter early, anyhoo internet is half working it keeps going on and off. In the interest of getting this posted, I'm really sorry I haven't responded to you fabulous people who took the time to Review, I'm so glad you all enjoyed it, normally I would try and respond back to you, but argh at the internet connection. I really appreciate the time taken to comment, please don't let this rubbishness stop you letting me know what you thought,_

_This new chapter is a Hank back-story one sort of, it may seem partly incomplete but that is because this will be returned to in the sequel,( which is definitely gonna happen I have it storylined, I just have to plan it *sigh*) anyway it is Hank's back story with a dollop of Elizabeth and insecure Michaela thrown in for good measure._

_In a bit of a nod to Linda who uses song's alot for effect, I was having an absolutely rubbish week when I wrote this and was listening to Peter Gabriel Sky blue over and over while I was writing 1 because it's kind of sad but hopeful and 2 because it's one of the most brilliant songs, I think the mood may have slipped in a little especially the last parts so to get the effect bung this link into youtube. /watch?v=B7Jdo8e3erE little tip listen to the aah's at the end from about 5 minutes in when your reading the last part. Crikey this is turning into an essay, anyway enjoy, let me know what you think._

_Kate x_

The secrets we keep

The whistle blew, signalling the arrival of the train, a small crowd had gathered to welcome the engine in. It had taken the railroad company a month to repair the damage to the track caused by the fire, and now the works had finally been completed the first train had returned to Colorado Springs.

Sully glanced out the corner of his eye at Michaela; she looked excited, nervous and self conscious all at the same time. Now that Esmee had been born she was able to move about, albeit with a cane which she was clutching inconspicuously in the fold of her skirt. The cane he knew was not a problem for her, her issue was her still abundant shape. After having Katie she had snapped back into shape, and all she had had to show for her pregnancy other then the baby had been an increased bust and a tiny belly for about 4 weeks after the birth which had been easily hidden by her skirt. After Esmee this was not the case and despite that he told her she was beautiful and that she had only had the baby 2 and a half weeks ago, Micheala was having none of it, she was mortified that she didn't look like her pre baby self for one reason, and one reason only, Elizabeth. The thought of her mother seeing her in any state other than some idealised vision of acceptable femininity seemed to terrify Michaela in ways he just couldn't understand, but he supposed it wouldn't be a visit from Elizabeth without Michaela fretting about something. Lovingly he looped his arm around her back, she looked at him giving him that charming crooked smile he loved so much, her eyes tinged with uncertainty.

"Ya OK?" Sully whispered, knowing better then to tell her she looked fine unless she asked for assurance.

"Do you think everything will be alright?" she asked nervously.

Sully chuckled knowing that Michaela meant will everything be alright in her mother's eyes. "Caela, everything is perfect" he kissed Michaela softly careful not the jostle the sleeping baby snuggled in the crook of his arm "And even if it weren't she's gonna be busy with Esmee and Katie"

"I hope so" Michaela smoothed the front of her dress, frowning as she did. "Perhaps I should have worn my corset, Mot…" she was silenced by Sully's lips pressing reassuringly into hers.

"Took ya nine months ta put the weight on, so ya should get nine months ta take it off" Sully told her gently, he rubbed her side trying to cheer her up "Only had the baby two weeks ago,"

"I know but Mother...", suddenly Michaela was distracted and waving, her eyes filling with tears as she caught sight of Matthew poking his head out the carriage before it even came to a stop.

As the vehicle hissed and spluttered to a halt there was a small round of applause from those assembled, the town pleased to see their lifeline back. Matthew was the first from the carriage leaping down before the porter. He came straight to them; his arms stretched open, at the last second bending down and capturing Katie in his arms. He straightened up "Hey Katie girl" he hugged the little girl tightly to him "How you doing?"

"I good" Katie told him, she smiled widely "I big sistah!"

"Yer Are!" Matthew exclaimed.

Katie nodded fiercely "Yup" she pointed at Sully's arms "Essssssmmeeeee, see my liwle sistah"

"Can I take a look?" Matthew asked his attention only on the little girl.

"Corwus, see your liwle sistah too" Katie giggled and playfully patted his chest.

"Oh yeah" Matthew played along as if he just realised. With Katie still in his arms he approached Sully to get a good look at the baby.

"See pwetty" Katie told him proudly.

Matthew studied the soft pink skin, the dark brown hair, the baby's long gently curled black eyelashes, the way her little hand was peeking from her knitted sleeve, his smile widened and he turned to look at Michaela, "She sure is" he stepped forward and leant in to kiss Michaela on the cheek "Hey Ma"

"Matthew" Michaela greeted him softly; she raised her arm that was not holding the cane to hug him. After a moment she released her eldest, "How was your trip?"

"It was fine," Matthew answered noncommittally, he removed his arm from around his mother and playfully flicked Brian's wide brimmed hat "Hey there little bro. How ya sleepin?"

Brian chuckled and looked guiltily at his mother.

"Brian's been sleeping in the barn" Sully outted his son "Hey Matthew" Sully captured Matthew's forearm for an intimate handshake,

"Where's Mother?" Michaela stared through the crowd, the last comment lost on her as she searched for her Elizabeth.

"She'll be off in a second" Sully soothed her "It's real busy she probably don't want her dress trampled"

"I wish she would hurry though" Michaela looked nervous "Esmee will need to nurse soon"

Sully noted the tone of urgency in her voice "You Ok?"

"I am feeling a little...full" Michaela admitted quietly "Oh" Michaela inclined her head "there she is"

Sully turned his head to look in the direction that Michaela was staring in. Sure enough he could make out Elizabeth's immaculately curled hair beneath an overly styled hat. He forced himself to smile, though Elizabeth had the outward appearance of a kindly white haired Grandmother he knew she was still the battleaxe he had met those seven or so years ago, and even though he gently teased his wife about how she reacted to her mother he had to admit Elizabeth Quinn still filled him with apprehension, a nervousness of what she might say or do to upset Michaela.

"Mother" Michaela reacted instinctively.

"Michaela" Elizabeth greeted her youngest daughter barely hugging her before she turned to Sully and lifted Esmee from his arms giving him no chance to protest "Well hello my darling, didn't you give us quite a scare arriving early like that" she glanced at Michaela "I trust you had proper medical care for this delivery"

"Oh yes, Dr Caulfield is a highly accomplished physician" Michaela began to explain immediately, she opened her mouth to defend Sully and his midwifery skills only to realise that her mother was not listening to her and was fully focused on the baby.

"She's beautiful Michaela" Elizabeth cooed stroking Esmee's plump cheek "Don't you think Signe?"

"Oh yes Elizabeth"

The family turned to study the ornately dressed woman who had approached the family. She was in her mid to late thirties and had pale blonde curly hair, her manner was regal and ladylike, every inch of her screaming Boston lady.

"Michaela this is Signe Dybdahl, Signe this is my youngest daughter Dr Michaela Quinn and her husband Sully and my grandchildren, Brian, Katie and Esmee." Elizabeth made the introduction.

"It's a pleasure to meet you" Michaela shook hands awkwardly, curious about the woman and why she should be travelling with her mother.

"Signe is the fiancée of Stephen Howell," Elizabeth explained as she noted Michaela's bemused expression "She agreed to accompany me after Rebecca could not extricate herself from her family obligations"

"Oh" Michaela responded, it was all she could manage as Esmee, woken by being grabbed from Sully's arms, began to wail and her body began to respond. "Sully" she whispered reaching for her husband.

Sully noting the expression on her face took Esmee back from Elizabeth "Well I better run you and ya luggage over to the clinic"

"Nonsense" Elizabeth dismissed "Signe and I will stay with you at the homestead I'm sure that you will need the extra help"

Michaela looked alarmed at her husband, his face matching her own with concern. She took a sharp intake of breath "Sully I need" her body reacting further to the baby. She became aware that Horace had appeared out of the post office; silently the tall man took the baby from Sully. He smiled awkwardly at her and inclined his head indicating that she should follow.

"Excuse us" Sully followed after a second and watched as Horace guided his wife into the chair in the office. "There ya are Dr Mike" Horace smiled and handed her the baby "I'll be right outside for when ya finished" he pivoted and made to leave "Hey Sully"

"Thanks" Sully inclined his head towards Michaela.

"No worries, knew that look coz of Myra" Horace smiled, obviously pleased he could be of some use "I'll help Dr Mike's Ma get her luggage loaded"

Sully nodded in thanks as Horace left before crossing to Michaela and kneeling beside her "You alright?"

"She needs to be fed" Michaela answered referring to the baby, and not about herself.

Sully sighed, knowing that meant she was not alright but that she did not want to talk about what was actually upsetting her. Tenderly he cradled Esmee's downy head as the she fed contently, after a moment he leant forward and kissed Michaela on the cheek. "I'll tell them they are staying at the clinic."

"No" Michaela responded quickly "Please don't start an argument, we'll find a suitable arrangement"

"Michaela ya really want ya Ma and her friend staying at the homestead?" he stared at his wife confused.

"No" she admitted "but I don't have the energy to deal with Mother when she doesn't get her way" she sagged slightly in the chair, appalled by her own admission.

"Ok" Sully agreed, he positioned her shawl so that Esmee and the wondrous action that Michaela was performing were concealed should anyone barge into the office uninvited. "I'll help Horace with all the bags. It will be alright"

* * *

Hank tipped his chair back as he lazily took in the late May sun, this was the perfect time of day for him, the lull after the lunchtime rush before the evening of money making. He casually flicked the butt of a spent cigar into the water trough and exhaled happily; he loved it when he had a chance to relax, running a hotel took a whole lot more effort than running a saloon and whorehouse. He raised his head as the dulcet tones of Elizabeth Quinn wafted over to him, he snorted with amusement as he saw the Sully's new wagon parked outside the clinic, it always tickled him, that that posh stuck up woman was forced to sit in the raggedy wagons that the Sully's insisted on driving. He casually flicked his eyes over the rest of the wagon, laughing quietly to himself as he saw the amount of luggage that was crammed into the back along with the rest of the family.

The curly blonde hair of a female passenger caught his attention, he raised his eyebrows as he considered the possibilities of another Quinn sister in town. If she was anything like Michaela or Marjorie she would certainly be a welcome visitor. He opened his mouth to call out a greeting but in that instant the woman turned revealing her face. Hank's voice caught in his throat and he pushed against the banister too hard, causing the chair to slide backwards and clatter to the ground. Winded he stumbled into the Nugget before those in the wagon had any chance of seeing him. Flicking his hair from his face he peered through the grimy window. It was her, with that ski slope nose and perfect skin, how had he not recognised that damn curly hair. He slumped against the bar, oblivious to the interested stares his customers were giving him. He felt sick, like he was about to spew the little he had eaten today onto the floor, a thick stream of bile ready to pour from his mouth, as his body reeled in shock at seeing her again, the shock of seeing the woman who had almost got him killed.

* * *

It was Sunday before he ventured out to the Sully Homestead, The Mid may Sunday was beautiful the sun beaming down in hot beams but inside he felt like ice.

AS he knocked on the door, it occurred to him that as it was Sunday the family would be at Church worshiping, he silently cursed his previously racing minds blankness , just as he was about to turn and leave he caught the sound of Michaela's awkward steps approaching the door. He forced himself to smile as he saw her beautiful nervous face peer through the leaded glass.

"Hank" Michaela greeted him as she opened the door. "Are you unwell?"

Hank shook his head, he gulped slightly "Wanted to check on ya"

"Oh" Michaela looked at him surprised, she opened the door wider "Would you like to come in?"

"Thanks" Hank sidled in past her; he came to a halt inside the door, not sure about what to do.

"Would you like to sit down?" Michaela offered, slightly alarmed by Hank's odd behaviour.

"Thanks" Hank repeated and crossed to one of the white armchairs. He slumped into one, before jumping up again, attracted by the baby in the small cradle. "She's cute"

Michaela smiled "Thank you"

Hank looked up "Didn't think we'd see her, not the way you were when I brought ya in"

"Brought me in?" Michaela frowned, confused by what he meant.  
"Yeah" Hank ran his hand through his hair "I rode out and found ya during the fire, brought ya into town."

"I didn't know that" Michaela stared at Hank in a new light, "I don't believe it's a word expansive enough to express my gratitude, but Thank you"

Hank shrugged "You need ta get Signe out of your house" he blurted

"I beg your pardon?" Michaela was thrown by the sudden change of topic.

"Signe, ya have ta get her to leave" Hank told her again, moving towards the door, suddenly needing to get outside, the room feeling like it was closing in on him.

Michaela took a step towards Esmee, wanting to put herself between her baby and he man who was acting so strangely. She and Hank collided. Hank caught Michaela before she had a chance to fall.

"Hank" Michaela whispered, her worry rising, wanting to get to her new baby.

"You gotta make her leave Michaela, she's bad news" Hank whispered.

Michaela watched as his face went blank, whatever fear that gripped the usually unflappable man pushed back into his mind, suddenly he was grinning, that patent Hank grin, like he had not a care in the world. "Easy there" he released his grip on her "Well I best be getting back, guys like some sauce after the word of God"

"Hank" Michaela tried to call him back, wanting him to tell her what he had meant

Hank ignored her plea instead striding towards the front door and throwing it open "See ya later Michaela".

* * *

Sully gently lifted Michaela's leg onto his lap, he had become an expert at tending to her injury, and he removed the bandage in moments. Her injured foot was no longer swollen but still retained a dark greenish yellow bruise that seemed to encompass her foot from her toes to just above her ankle. He looked up at Michaela waiting for her allowance for him to start bandaging her foot but she was distracted, her eyes on Katie nestled in a bundle of blankets in front of the fire. With Signe staying in the house on Elizabeth's invitation they had been forced to uproot Katie from her room, while the little girl was revelling in her improtue camping time in her parents room and would surely to find the adventure fun for few more days, a long term upset to her routine would be a disaster, especially as they had managed to fit Esmee into the routine so well.

"You alright?" Sully asked Michaela, drawing her back to the task at hand.

"Oh" Michaela peered at her limb "Yes I believe it still needs to be bandaged" she flexed her foot slightly, wincing at the pain "It still feels quite loose"

"Ya seem distracted" Sully broached the subject as he began to wrap the fresh cotton bandage around her leg "Are ya in pain?"

"Not really" Michaela sighed and placed her hand to rest on the curve of her lower abdomen, "I felt a bit achy today"

"Maybe ya did too much" Sully reasoned.

"Perhaps" Michaela's eyes travelled across to Esmee in the cot.

"Do ya want her in with us?" Sully questioned, nervous about Michaela's general disposition, she had been so happy the last two weeks, she'd had a few teary moments like when she had changed, diapered and dressed the baby only for Esmee to spit up the moment she finished and she had to start all over again, but generally Michaela was relishing having a new baby, and was balancing the care of their other children well. Now with the arrival of Elizabeth she had retreated in on herself, and it scared him slightly, he'd heard of women getting melancholia after having a baby and after everything Michaela had been through he didn't want her to suffer from that.

"No," Michaela smiled as she watched the baby wriggle slightly, her blue eyes staring unfocused at the flickering light of the fire, Sully having positioned her head so that the baby could 'see' the fire or at least the big bright shape that the fire would appear to the newborn. "We should encourage her to sleep in the cot, that way we or at least you will get the appropriate sleep"

"I'll get up with ya" Sully repeated to her for what felt like the hundredth time, eager to take his fair share of his new daughter's care.

Michaela smiled wryly "One of us at least should be compos mentis with Mother around"

"Esmee wakes me up anyway" Sully reasoned, he fastened the bandage on Michaela's leg with a safety pin and laid her leg softly on the mattress.

"I know" Michaela held her arms out inviting Sully to hold her. Sully scrambled across the bed and looped his arms around her, smiling as Michaela leant her head into his chest "It feels so good for you to hold me like this again"

Sully frowned "I held you another way?"

"You did not hold me tightly, it was almost as if you were afraid that I would burst. You didn't fully encircle me" Michaela smiled "Now I'm fully enclosed, it makes me feel wonderful"

"Good" Sully smiled before softly kissing her temple, his lips lingered against her soft skin, both of them watching their daughters as Katie slept and Esmee began to experience the world.

"Sully?" Michaela broke the silence after a few minutes "Have you learnt anything about Signe?"

"Learnt?"

"I mean to say, have you had a conversation with her about how she met Mother, or what she did before she was engaged to Mr Howell" Michaela raised her head to look at him.

"Nah," Sully shook his head, his fingers beginning to trail over her arm as he sensed her nervousness rise "Why?"  
Michaela squeezed her fingers slightly, tightening her grip on Sully's arm "Hank appears to know her" she turned her face so that she could catch the intimacy of his gaze "He informed me she was bad news. What do you think he meant?"

Sully shrugged "I dunno, I'll check with him tomorrow" Sully frowned wondering how Hank would know someone other than Michaela's family as well to do as Signe from as far away as Boston. Michaela yawned drawing him back to the room and his wife "Ya need ta get some sleep, you'll be up in a few hours ta feed her" Tenderly he laid Michaela down against the pillows, her eyes already drooping as tiredness overcame her.

"Thank you Sully" Michaela whispered as she rolled closer to his torso, her body turned into his "I love you"

Sully smiled and snuggled down next to her "I love ..." he stopped and sighed quietly to himself, Michaela already asleep, exhausted by the day, lovingly he leant in and kissed her softly, hoping that she would get some good quality sleep tonight so that she would be able to deal with whatever may come their way tomorrow.

* * *

Sully made his way into the Gold Nugget. Quickly he sought out Hank, and approached him. He frowned as he took in the barman slumped in his chair, an empty whiskey bottle on its side on the table beside him a half empty bottle loosely in his hand. Sully slowed his pace and moved closer cautiously, Hank could hold his liquor well, he was famous for it, the only person in Colorado Springs who could drink Jake Slicker under a table.

As he neared the barman Hank caught sight of him "Sssullly" Hank slurred "com ta we bab'ys head"

Sully shook his head; slowly he sank into the chair the opposite side of the table to the drunken man. "You alright Hank?"

"Everythhinss golden" Hank mumbled before laughing slightly "You know what Sully, your house, it's heaven" he took a swig from the bottle "n' hew hell. You got the devil witch in there"

"The devil witch" Sully repeated, "You talkin about Signe?"

Hank pointed his finger roughly at Sully, his muscles appearing to be losing the ability to hold his torso upright as the full effect of his hours long drinking session took hold "You wats her Sul, you wats that bits" Hank slurred, trying to take another swig from the bottle but instead pouring it down his front. Sully reached out to try and take the bottle from the drunken man. Hank growled and clutched the bottle tight to his chest "get ya own" he scowled "you wats that bits" Hank sagged to the side. Sully reached out to stop Hank from falling to the ground, however Hank didn't fall; he stumbled, half lumbering like an ape before finding the strength to stand almost upright. He took several stumbling steps to the piano and dropped heavily into the seat.

"Hank" Sully came up behind the man, his fear rising wondering what in the world Hank could be talking about and what it could mean for his family. "How d'ya know Signe?"

Hank slammed his hand down on the piano, making a horrid jarring note "kne her bfore" he mumbled "wats her Sul" He slammed his hand again "she take everythin ya got, all wir those" Hank straightened slightly and focused on Sully, his eyes pulling together as he appeared to overcome the alcohol in his system for a moment "Moist lips, and I ain't talkin about her mouth" he chuckled, his body succumbing to the liquor again "You wats her"

* * *

Michaela busied herself as best she could tidying the kitchen from lunch, with Sully in town, she was alone with the family, and while the boys were being a wonderful help, tending to the garden which had been left to turn into a mess of tangled plants during the last difficult weeks of her pregnancy, her mother's idea of help seemed to be entertaining her friend, leaving Michaela to cook, clean and carry after them.

"Mama" Katie appeared at her side.

"Yes sweetheart" Michaela looked down at her daughter, using the cabinet to lean against so she could take the weight off her still painful foot.

"Wen Esmee wake up?" Katie asked curiously.

Michaela smiled, ecstatic that her daughter was still so enamoured with her little sister, as it had been a major concern that Katie would react badly to the amount of time it took to care for a baby. In fact the child had been insistent in her offer of help, helping by handing items when they diapered or washed Esmee, helping to fold clothes, lovingly speaking to Esmee, making up little stories, and holding the baby's interest at the times when she and Sully had to complete a task during in the brief moments that their newborn daughter was awake and not feeding. Michaela ran her hand over Katie's soft hair, not needing to look at the clock to find out how long they would have to wait for her youngest to awaken, the weight and fullness in her chest telling her that she would wake any moment needing to be fed. "In a little while"

"I tell her storwy?" Katie asked sweetly.

Michaela nodded "Of course,"

"Mama?" Katie began to ask another question but it was lost as Elizabeth marched into the kitchen.

"Michaela we'll need some tea, is the kettle on?" Elizabeth got straight to the point.

Michaela shook her head "No, I'll do it" she turned to fill the kettle with the water pump.

"My goodness Michaela" Elizabeth exclaimed as she caught sight of the string that Michaela had used to bring the two edges of her skirt together. "Your skirt isn't closed" Michaela turned alarmed self consciously smoothing her waistcoat that she had used to conceal the half open fastening. "And look at that blouse. You should wear larger clothes while you're still so big" Elizabeth frowned.

Michaela looked down at her white blouse and blushed, while it fit albeit tightly, when she was full like she was at the moment the buttons across her bosom gaped and pulled slightly. She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying, unsure of how to respond to her mother, she was saved by the wail of the baby awakening upstairs. "Excuse me, I must feed Esmee" she whispered, hobbling past her Elizabeth to the stairs.

Elizabeth tutted slightly as Michaela walked away and lifted the kettle setting it on the stove.

"Gamma"

"Yes Katie" Elizabeth straightened up, she gazed down at her granddaughter, surprised that the little girl stood with her arms tightly folded her small face pulled into a scowling pout. "Katie?"

"Dat not very nice" Katie intoned slightly angrily, before pivoting and flouncing out of the kitchen clearly annoyed.

Elizabeth sighed and cast a look up the stairs, it hit her what she had just said, and how her hormonal daughter would have taken it. Quietly she removed the kettle from the stove and made her way upstairs to the master bedroom. Without knocking she entered, wordlessly positioning herself on the bed watching Michaela intently as she fed Esmee, all the while Michaela studiously ignoring her, her head bowed low, in the appearance of watching Esmee, her long auburn brown hair falling around her face.

Elizabeth sighed as she saw the teardrop fall from Michaela's nose "Michaela, I didn't mean it the way it sounded" Elizabeth frowned as she watched the single drop joined by another, the salty liquid splashing onto Esmee's white gown. "You look wonderful, motherhood is clearly what you were destined to do"

"I'm still a Doctor" Michaela mumbled through her tears.

"Of course you are, but you are first and foremost the mother to these beautiful little girls" Elizabeth smile widened "and you are still my gorgeous baby." She tenderly patted Michaela's leg "There she is" Elizabeth reacted to the slight turn up in the corner of Michaela's mouth "I truly didn't mean to make you feel bad about what I implied. I suppose it is my jealousy bringing out the worst in me"

"Jealousy?" Michaela looked up again,

Elizabeth sighed and clasped her hands lightly on her lap "It's that little bit of satisfaction at seeing my beautiful, stunning, clever and charismatic daughter…"

"Overweight and ugly?" Michaela offered, she smiled wryly.

"You're too hard on yourself Michaela, Esmee is only 3 weeks old" Elizabeth reached out and stroked her still suckling granddaughter's arm "Why are you forcing yourself into these clothes if they are too small?"

Michaela sighed "I think Sully thought he was helping by having the darts put back in my normal clothing and my maternity dresses are simply too big, now that my abdomen is smaller they are too long at the front and as I'm still so unsteady on my foot..." she trailed off, distracted by the baby at her breast.

Elizabeth frowned "Why haven't you taken the darting out again?"

"I haven't had time" Michaela shifted slightly to put Esmee in a more comfortable position.

Elizabeth looked sheepishly at her hands "I suppose I haven't exactly been very helpful" she looked up at Michaela "Neither was it a help to force you to host Signe"

"Why did she come?" Michaela asked, suddenly seeing a chance to get to the bottom of who this woman was and how she was known by both her mother and Hank.

Elizabeth sighed, "I'm not as young as I was Michaela, and your sisters insist that I have to travel with someone, which is why Rebecca usually accompanies me, of course Becca always wants to see you, but she couldn't come this time. The parents of the boy that Penny is courting invited Rebecca and Edward to stay at their house in The Hamptons, they felt obligated to accept the invitation."

"Penny's courting?" Michaela expressed her surprise before realising that the last time she had seen her niece had been six years ago and that she would now be a young woman of eighteen.

"Yes" Elizabeth muttered "Apparently it's a very favourable match" she sighed "after I travelled down here on my own because of the monument, Claudette and Maureen were all for having me committed. Thankfully I put stop to that, but when I insisted on coming to see this beautiful angel" she smiled at the baby who had paused in her feeding "Claudette was about to hire me a chaperone, but Signe offered to come with me. Now that she's engaged I believe she finds herself at something of a loss. She was a nurse, that's how she met Stephen, she was coerced to appear at a fundraiser and he was enchanted by her."

"Signe is a nurse" Michaela repeated trying to build up an image of this woman's life, struggling to find a connection as to how Hank and she could know each other.

"Yes, that appeased your sisters no end, I honestly think they believe that I am about to keel over" Elizabeth rolled her eyes "I know I may be seventy six but I feel the same as I did when I was fifty. I believe this new protective streak your sisters have developed may be due to the fact I stopped dyeing my hair. Why are you so curious about her?"

"Hank, the man who runs the Gold Nugget knows her?" Michaela had no energy to sugar coat the reason.

"Oh" Elizabeth looked surprised "Well I'll ask her" She held out her arms to take Esmee so that Michaela could refasten her top. "Do you truly not have anything larger that would be more comfortable for you?" Elizabeth frowned as she watched Michaela do up her buttons with a soft sigh of almost defeat. "You should get something; I very much doubt you will just ping back into shape"

Michaela looked down at herself "I gained so much weight" she self consciously rubbed her middle "I know Esmee was heavy but there is still so much I need to lose"

"It takes time" Elizabeth advised "Let it come off naturally, the worst thing you can do is starve yourself"

Michaela smiled weakly "Who's the Doctor here?"

"I had five daughters Michaela, experience trumps any doctoring" Elizabeth smiled and rocked from side to side as she deftly winded Esmee, she didn't even blink as the baby spit up a little, just seized the muslin from the bed and wiped Esmee's face before handing the baby expertly back to its mother for a cuddle, "You know, I gained 65 pounds when I was expecting you" Michaela looked up at her mother in surprise. Elizabeth smiled, "it's true 65 pounds and then you were this little scrawny thing. It took me 3 years before I lost it all" Elizabeth laughed lightly "It took me so long because I starved myself after having Becca and Claudie, just to fit into some ridiculous dresses to attend events with your father. As wonderful as your father was, back then he wanted a beautiful thin wife, not some tired haggard bloated mess. By Maura he learnt his lesson"

Michaela smiled up at her mother, delighted to hear the childhood names of her sisters. In the last few years she had forgotten that her mother had once been a young woman, in fact she had never really considered Elizabeth young, always the person who got in her while her father had always been the one to support her. Now she understood what her father had said to her in a rare argument all those years ago when she had been a strident seventeen year old 'that she and Elizabeth were cut from the same cloth' Michaela had always assumed her father had said it to hurt her but now she understood. She was her mother's daughter, she may have taken after her father with his medical mind and his thirst for knowledge, but her soul was a copy of her mother's, the insecure woman who hid behind something, Michaela her medicine, Elizabeth the brash demeanour she presented. They were the same in a second way as well, their love. Michaela had always believed her mother was cold and somewhat heartless, but how could you be heartless and carry five babies within you, how could you be heartless and travel halfway across the country to put up a gravestone, or express concern when your daughter chose to enter a man's profession knowing the hardship she would face.

Michaela gasped, surprised to find that she was crying, she wanted so badly to hold her arms out and let Elizabeth take her into her arms and comfort her like she had when Michaela had been a little girl. Elizabeth instinctively saw what she needed and swiftly lifted Esmee from Michaela arms settling the baby into the crook of her own arm, she then put her free arm around her daughter, letting her daughter fall into her shoulder to cry out the turmoil her hormones were creating within her.

* * *

Hank watched in horror as the woman approached him, staring as the patrons of his hotel and bar split like soap through grease to let her pass. He was frozen, wanting to run but stuck to the floor, his feet feeling like he weighed a tonne, unable to move.

"Hans?" she spoke his name, her voice still as soft and lilting as he remembered, the faint tinge of the home country accent from where her father had insisted they spoke Norwegian at home. Apart from a few faint expression lines she looked identical to the last day he had seen her 19 years ago. "Hans?" she repeated "Or is it Hank?"

Hank looked up at the sound of the name, the name that she had given him within moments of them meeting, the image of that scrappy thirteen year old girl flashed in his mind, the way she had captivated him, despite her being 4 years younger than he. Finally he found his voice "Get out" he growled not wanting to have to deal with the women he had never wanted to see again. The woman he had forced to the recesses of his mind. The woman whose lies had led to him left him battered and bleeding on the floor. Lies which had forced him to run across the country, just to stay alive.

"I want to explain" Signe tried to speak, her fingers tenderly but tightly gripping hold of a small photograph.

"What explain like you did to your daddy?" Hank spat at her, "Get the hell out of my bar." He waved his arm indicating for some of his patrons to come help him remove her.

"Please Hank, I need you to look at this" she brandished the photograph "I need you to understand"

Something felt like it snapped inside his head and he wasn't 38 year old Hank Lawson anymore, he was 19 year old Hans Lausenstrom, a rush of anger flooding his entire being "UNDERSTAND" he bellowed, suddenly he was running at her and the patrons stepped in not to remove Signe but restrain him, "UNDERSTAND" Hank forced against the hands holding him back "I UNDERSTAND, YOU TRIED TO GET ME HUNG FOR RAPE" the bar went silent "I UNDERSTAND YOU TOLD YOUR DADDY I FORCED YOU. YOU LYING LITTLE WHORE! FORCED YOU! YOU BEGGED ME"

"I didn't" Signe whispered, bursting into to tears "Please I need to..."

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence, as Hank roared and with seemingly super human strength threw off some of the people who were holding him back. Signe gasped, terror gripping her body and she stumbled away, staring terrified at the animal man in front of her finally she took control of her senses and ran away to safety, ran away from him.

* * *

Michaela frowned as she heard the snuffles of a woman crying; she lowered her journal to the table and listened intently. The cries were not those of her daughters who were upstairs asleep, nor did they belong to her mother, who was also upstairs resting having thoroughly exhausted herself running around after Katie all morning. Gingerly Michaela rose from the rocker and seized her cane. With the necessary support she made her way to the bureau to where her medical bag sat ready for action. Fearing that someone had come to her in some form of medical distress she took hold of the bag's worn handle and opened the front door. She was surprised to find her mother's travelling companion.

"Signe?" Michaela approached and lowered herself onto the bench beside the sobbing woman.

Signe looked up at Michaela, her face bright red and swollen from tears, the hem of her dress, dirty and torn. "Signe, are you hurt?" Michaela asked taking in the state of the other woman's dress.

"I didn't know he was here" Signe mumbled her eyes returning to the photograph she clutched in her hands "I never would have offered to come if I'd known"

Michaela placed a reassuring hand on Signe's slender arm. "Are you talking about Hank?"

Signe nodded and burst into tears again. Michaela waited for the tears to die down a little before she tried to question the distraught woman again "How do you know him?"

Signe took a deep breath and the words started tumbling out of her in a garbled mess "He came to help his uncle, they lived a few doors down from us, even though he was older than me I knew. I was thirteen years old but I looked at him and I knew, he was the man I wanted to be with. My father was really strict, sometimes he's take me to work with him and I would hear the men talking, I knew I was pretty, I knew all about what men want. I wanted Hank, and I got him. He a gentleman at first, refusing me, telling me I was too young, but I wore him down. It didn't matter that he was four years older than me, we would sneak off, talk until it was midnight, make all these plans about what we were going to do when I was sixteen. Then there was a festival and everything went wrong" she crumbled into tears again. Michaela waited patiently knowing that there was more to come. "We both drank, he had too much, I only had a little but I'd never drank before. I was fifteen, we both wanted it, but Hank had said we had to wait until I was of age. I would beg him, tell him I was a woman, and he would always say no. But that time he was drunk and he didn't say no. It the most amazing feeling and I knew how to get it each time I wanted. After I suppose our fifth time he stopped needing to be drunk to say yes. And then my father found out" Signe brought her hands to her face, the photograph held against her lips as if she was kissing it "I never even told him, I didn't get a chance, he had to leave, my father would have had him hung if he didn't. And then my father sent me away and after she was born he took her and left me in the home. They let me hold her for three minutes and then they took her, and they sent me this," Signe held out the photograph, a portrait of an approximately 6 months old infant "she'll be eighteen in August. I don't even know what she looks like"

Michaela brushed the tears from her cheeks as she took the photograph imagining the horror of never seeing her daughters, knowing how bad it felt for Matthew and Colleen to be so far away from her and they were not her blood kin. She stared at Signe with fresh eyes fully understanding Hank's reaction and also why Elizabeth was drawn to Signe. The woman had fire and strength beyond anything Michaela could imagine, she lived every day knowing that her daughter was out there unable to ever see her. Michaela had seen the homes that Signe had spoke of and for a woman to get out of one mentally intact, to forge a career in nursing was amazing, Signe had overcome so much had dealt with so much trauma locked it away in her mind, and carried on. Only for a simple act of kindness to an old woman to blow up in her face, to cause all the barriers she had built up over the years to come crashing down and now the years of longing and hurt was boiling and rushing out of her. Michaela took Signe gently into her arms, cradling the sobbing woman like she did Katie letting the woman cry for her lost daughter and her lost love.

"Michaela" Elizabeth gently approached "I heard what she told you" Elizabeth prevented Michaela from speaking, the older woman moved to sit on the other side of Signe, she mirrored Michaela, wrapping her arms around the young woman that until recently she had not known.

Michaela observed her mother through her tear filled eyes, she knew that had this been five years ago Elizabeth would had shunned the stricken woman in an instant. She smiled weakly as she felt her mother grip her hand, the silent gesture of understanding, that out here in Colorado Springs, in the safety of her daughter's home, Elizabeth Quinn could be the kind gentle woman she was, unencumbered by the societal boundaries of being a Boston Lady she could be the woman she wanted to be.

* * *

Michaela softly closed the door to Katie's room, Sully and Elizabeth stood waiting for her, the noise of the boys keeping Katie occupied wafting up from downstairs.

"I gave her something to help her sleep" Michaela told the waiting pair softly. She seized hold of Sully's hand and pulled him toward the master bedroom. She had a burning need to be near Esmee, Sully intuitively sensed her need and once in the room guided her to the rocker so he could collect the baby from the cot. He waited patiently as Michaela positioned the baby into a comfortable position in her arms before he crouched down in front of her.

"Do you want me to get Katie?" he asked gently.

Michaela shook her head "No, she'll only get upset because I am"

"I don't understand" Sully looked from his wife to Elizabeth who stood in the doorway. "She had a baby with Hank? How did she end up being engaged to a friend of your father's?"

"She worked at one of the hospitals in Boston, Stephen met her when she was forced to attend a fundraiser" Elizabeth explained

"Do you think he knows?" Sully asked his mother in law.

"Heavens no" Elizabeth scoffed "And I certainly won't be telling him. Signe deserves her chance at happiness"

"She does" Michaela agreed "I find it quite amazing that she so well adjusted, this outburst excluded, it's quite remarkable, and inmate at one of those places" she shuddered.

"They that bad?" Sully pressed her, knowing that Michaela needed to get this out of her system so that she would be able to sleep and relax.

"They're awful Sully, the laundry houses, those places are hell, run by women who punish women for giving life" she took a shuddering breath and brought Esmee up to rest on her shoulder, the baby's head nestled in the curve of her neck.

Sully raised his left hand to cup Esmee's head with the palm, his right moving to stroke Michaela's arm "How do you know about them?"

"When I was at medical school, only one female student was allowed in the hospital at a time, we needed to gain experience so we would practice in the work houses and poor houses, orphanages and laundry houses. Those women, they were so broken, some of them had been there for years, kept there so they wouldn't be wicked again." She glanced at him, her large eyes filled with tears "How can giving birth to a baby be wicked?"

"It ain't wicked Michaela, you and I both know it's the most amazing experience in the world" Sully straightened his knees and kissed her softly on the cheek, stopping a lone teardrop in its track.

"If you think she is up to it, I'll take Signe to Denver and then on home" Elizabeth spoke, knowing she was intruding on a private moment.

"I believe that is best" Michaela gave her mother a watery smile "Hank is so unpredictable, it would more than likely be dangerous for her to stay in Colorado Springs"

* * *

Michaela hugged Elizabeth tightly, bidding her farewell again. While she missed her mother normally this time she was leaving felt that much wors as she understood who Elizabeth was, now after 41 years she actually felt like she knew the woman who had brought her into this world. Elizabeth was slightly distracted, her concern focused on her travelling companion eager to give the younger woman the support she needed to pull herself together so that she could step off the train in Boston as if nothing had happened.

Michaela watched as Sully helped Elizabeth ascend into the train before turning her attention on to Signe who was stood pale faced waiting to embark. "These herbs need to be brewed into tea, they'll help you relax" Michaela explained as she handed over a pile of herb filled sachets.

"Thank you" Signe whispered pulling Michaela in for a tentative hug, "Your children are beautiful, Esmee is the most beautiful child"

Michaela nodded in thanks unable to open her mouth because she knew the second she did she would burst into tears. Signe thrust an envelope into Michaela's hand, her blue eyes staring pleadingly at Michaela. Without a word Signe scrambled onto the carriage and disappeared inside. Michaela turned the envelope over in her hands so she could study the words "For Hank" neatly written on the front in beautiful swirling handwriting. Michaela ran her fingers feeling the thickness of the envelope, knowing that there was more inside then just a piece of paper, that Signe had given her most prized possession over to help Hank understand what had gone on in his past.

* * *

It took Michaela almost a week to approach Hank, it wasn't until she received a wire from her mother saying that she and Signe had reached Boston that Michaela had had the impetus to seek him out. Part of it she felt was she wanted to know that Signe was safe. the other part was that Michaela wanted to make sure that she was secure enough in herself to help Hank with what was a momentous piece of news.

"Hank" she called his name as she approached the bustling Gold Nugget. He was sat tipped back in his chair as usual, soaking up the warm rays, blowing white rings of smoke from his upturned mouth.

Hank tipped his chair forward and gave a mock salute "Michaela" he looked her up and down, "lost the cane I see"

Michaela glanced down and smiled "Yes, I just need to ensure my boot is appropriately tied to support my ankle now"

"That's good" Hank muttered he leant forward and rested his elbows onto his knees "Ya need me for something?"

"I have a letter for you" Michaela reached into her pocket and drew out the envelope she had carried with her since she had been entrusted with it.

Hank held out his hand, seeing Michaela's hesitance he made to grab it, but Michaela pulled it in against her chest, preventing him from taking it. Hank narrowed his eyes studying her, before he gave a snort of laughter "Trying to get arrested for stealing the mail Michaela?"

"No, I would like to read it to you" Michaela glanced nervously about, she was pleased to see Jake talking to Loren outside the store, even though she knew Sully was only around the corner at the Livery he was minding both Esmee and Katie.

"Knock yourself out" Hank laughed again and tilted his chair back by pressing the heel of his boot against the wooden banister.

Michaela removed the sheets of paper from the envelope and cleared her throat. "Dear Hank. I know you do not want to ever see me" she looked up as Hank crashed his chair against the veranda, smoke pouring out of his nose as he exhaled angrily. Michaela held out the photograph "so I enclose this photograph and hope that it will hold your attention long enough to finish this letter" Michaela shook her hand trying to get Hank to take the small picture but he seemed frozen his face stuck between anger, pain and confusion. Realising that he was not going to move, Michaela held the photograph before his eyes and continued to read the letter "I wanted to call her Ilse but my mother and father called her Klara. I did not tell anyone about what went on between us, they figured it out, because of her. I never told them that you forced me, I told them that I had wanted to be with you, but they did not believe me. They hunted you and then they hid me away. Klara was born six months after father had Lars and Erik beat you up, she will turn 18 on August 6th. She still lives with my parents, in the house where I grew up, the photograph you are holding is the only time other than her birth I have seen her."

"Stop" Hank croaked. Michaela lifted her eyes from the paper; she bit her lip uncertain of what to say to the man in front of her who in this instant looked so much like a lost little boy. "You saying she...give me the letter" he snatched the paper and the photograph from Michaela's hands.

"Hank" Michaela tried to reach out to soothe him but he shrugged from her reach.

"Leave me alone Michaela" Hank muttered his eyes glued to the piece of paper his eyes roving over the neatly written words.

Michaela nodded "You know where I am if you need me" she offered but he was already moving away from her, drifting down the street with his head hunched over to read as he walked. Michaela watched him walk away hoping that he had heard her, hoping that he would be able to assimilate the news he had just received.

* * *

Hank walked as far as the graveyard before veering to the left and coming to stop beside the Church, he had no intention of going in but he felt as if he should be close by to God, close to the deity he had shunned when he had had to run for his life. He rested his back against the white wooden wall and slid to the ground.

Who he was, was based around what had happened all those years ago. He had become the person they accused him of being, he'd adopted the persona and it had gotten him far, from the moment he had won the saloon he had been the brute animal with no respect for women. Sure he had always been cheeky a bit of a prankster when he was a young man but he was never wicked or depraved. That had come after the accusations they called him a debauched, immoral, excuse for a human, so that was what he became. He had been merciless in his pursuit to push Signe and his feelings from his mind and in the end been what he never wanted to be. But he knew that as his anger had slowly waned he'd become kinder to his girls, more protective of them, his personality had softened or at least his persona had softened, he'd lost some of his prickles, lost a few hard edges, become more like the young man he had once been.

He pushed the letter to one side and stared at the photograph, stared at the baby, his baby, his daughter. A daughter he never knew had existed had never considered existing. His face crumpled, that was two for two now, first Zach now Klara, another child of his that he had never had anything to do with, that he had never really had the chance to be a father to. He studied the photograph, trying to imagine what this girl would look like now? would she look like Signe or like him, or a mixture of both? Who was she? what did she love to do? All these things, all the important things about who a person was he would never know, he would never know who his daughter was, he had never been given the chance because Signe had been 2 months shy of her 16th. If this little girl had been made 2 months later his whole life would have been different, his whole life would have been happy. He would have had a wife that he loved and a daughter he would have cherished. He stared at the picture, taking in the chubby cheeks and what looked like blonde curly hair beneath a white bonnet, she looked like an angel. His body ached to know what she would have felt like to hold or smelt like or sounded like, he felt the need to hold and cherish a child like he saw Sully do every time he held his girls.

* * *

They had barely made it home before they heard the knock at the door. Sully opened the door, frowning as he took in Hank's reddened face the wild needing look in his eyes.

"I need..." Hank started to mumble, his voice trailed off as his eyes came to fall on the baby in Michaela's arms. "Can I hold...I need..."

"Of course" Michaela told him softly, "Sit down" she waited until Hank had sunk into one of the white armchairs before carefully positioning Esmee into his arms. She shook her head at Sully who had protectively moved in, his shoulders squared, his body coiling ready to jump the nanosecond something looked like it was about to go wrong.

Hank stared down at the wondrous creation in his arm, felt the weight and the warmth of Esmee's soft body, slowly he raised his arms bringing the baby to his lips, the baby squirming and wailing as she came into contact with the stubble on his face. He looked up at Michaela scared he was doing something wrong.

"It's alright" she soothed, reaching and placing her hand on Esmee's chest, immediately calming the baby "Babies like soft things,"

Hank nodded in understanding and resumed his intent study of the baby, taking in every dimple and crease, her exquisite little features, her downy soft hair. "She beautiful Michaela" he mumbled tears rolling silently down his cheek. "So beautiful"

"Thank you Hank" Michaela knelt beside him, her arm coming to rest on his knee as she lightly stroked the baby, keeping her calm in strange arms.

Hank closed his eyes pretending to himself that he wasn't a middle aged man sat in a friend's living room holding his friend's baby, imagining that he was a young boy holding his own child, his own daughter, while his love gently softly rested her arm on his leg as she tended to their child. Imagining what he could never have, what he would never have, but in this brief moment with Esmee in his arms and Michaela touching his leg he could pretend this life was his, pretend his life was complete.


	17. Lost

_Thanks Anonemouse! I have to admit the description is a bit rubbish but I wasn't sure what to put, it's a bit difficult to describe the story as a whole other then a season 7 story._

_Bless you Chacha I'm pleased the story spoke to you so much that it moved you in the way it did, hopefully I won't make you cry this time. _

_This next chapter is a Reverend Chapter, and can I say it is well hard to right a blind character! Also I know the ending may seem a little rushed, I had some scenes with Michaela in but it kind of felt like I've driven the story into a brick wall and was all stopping and starting with each part so I removed a fair amount, hence the (relative) shortness._

_Having said that I hope you enjoy_

Lost

Michaela checked that Esmee was still content in the pram, repositioning the blanket she turned to Katie who was stood beside her watching her every action intently "Will you be a big girl and watch Esmee for me while I help the Reverend?"

"Corwus Mama" Katie gripped hold of the side of the pram and stared intently at her six week old baby sister "I watch her real good"

"Thank you sweetheart" Michaela straightened up a smoothed her hand over Katie's increasingly flyaway hair. Her children momentarily occupied Michaela turned to the Reverend who was patiently stood to one side waiting for her. Michaela slipped her arm into his. "Three steps down Reverend" she told him quietly as she gently guided him down the station platform.

"You didn't need to do this Michaela" the Reverend told her as she led him towards a waiting train.

"Nonsense" Michaela smiled at him, letting the expression filter into her voice so that the blind man could hear it "I'm ecstatic I could find someone to help. When I read about Dr Wilmington's new study I knew I had to get you in to it and the fact that he's only in Denver is just wonderful"

The Reverend smiled, pleased to hear the lady Doctor so excited, he patted her hand "I meant see me off, Loren could have done that. I know you have a lot to handle at the moment"

Michaela glanced back at the wicker pram, Katie still perched on her tip toes peering resolutely at its precious cargo. "It's fine, it gets me out of the house" Michaela laughed slightly as she recalled the battle she had had this morning to get everyone dressed and redressed so she could get into town in time to see the Reverend onto the train. "It's quite remarkable Esmee seems to have a predilection for ruining any item of clothing that is trimmed with lace, or ribbons, she's definitely a no frills girl"

"Takes after her father" The Reverend chuckled slightly "I'd love to see her" he whispered softly to Michaela, his brown eyes looking wistfully at the floor.

"Perhaps with this treatment you shall" Michaela squeezed his arm reassuringly "and I shall make sure when you see her for the first time she is looking pristine" Michaela placed one of his hand against the metal railing of the carriage "Two steps up and then a third onto the carriage" Michaela rubbed the back of his hand "I'm sure everything will be fine, someone from Dr Wilmington's office will be at the Denver Station to meet you, it will only be an initial round of tests today." Michaela smiled at him, finally releasing his hand as the blind man climbed onto the carriage and into the waiting care of the Porter.

"Thank you Michaela" The Reverend thanked his friend, despite his apprehension feeling his happiness rise, the hope that he might be able to see again.

"It will be..."

"MAMA" Katie yelled from higher up the platform, stopping Michaela from finishing what she was about to say. "ESMEE SPIT UP"

Michaela sighed "Oh dear"

"Is she wearing lace?" The Reverend spoke good-naturedly as he felt the Porter tug his arm.

"No but there is a bow" Michaela smiled at him. "Have a good trip. Excuse me"

The Reverend opened his mouth to speak but closed it sensing that she had moved away to tend to her children. He allowed himself to be guided to a spare seat. Alone he turned his face towards the morning sun, soaking in the warmth, hoping this was the first trip in a journey to be sighted again.

* * *

The Driver pulled the emergency brake and the train lurched spluttering to a halt. Sighing he threw himself out of the engine and ran up to where a series of branches covered the track. Even though it had now been two months since the dreadful fire, trees were still coming down, weakened by the fire, they were succumbing to the wind or animal activity. He made a quick appraisal of the damage, which mercifully there seemed to be none, just what would be a pile of lumber blocking the way through.

He dashed back to the train and passenger carriage, the other members of staff leaning out to see the problem.

"Trees come down" he called to them, "Get all the men off, I'll get the axes out. If they help shift it we can be on our way in no time"

The porter dove inside the carriage, the passengers staring at him, eager for information as to why they had stopped in the middle of nowhere. "We need all the men to help move some branches that have fallen onto the track"

The Reverend remained seated knowing that he would be more of a hindrance then a help.

"Oi" Someone grabbed him roughly "Man said all the men"

"Yes but I'm..." The Reverend stumbled, his cane rattling against the doorway as he was shoved out of the carriage; he grabbed wildly hoping to find something to hold onto so that he could steady himself. Instead he lurched missing the railing and tumbling from the carriage. He landed on the embankment with a grunt inhaled sharply as he felt a stone slice his leg through his trousers.

The Porter was beside him in a moment, "Hey leave it" he admonished the passenger who had pushed the Reverend "The guy is blind, he wouldn't be any help" he helped the Reverend to his feet "There's a stream just over there, I mean just over the embankment down the hill"

"Can you take me?" The Reverend asked focussing on the pain in his leg so he wouldn't have to focus on the embarrassment he felt about the way the men were talking about him.

"I'm needed" The Porter begged off "But I'll point ya in the right direction, once you're up the embankment you can hear it"

The Reverend nodded in thanks, sighing as he realised how much his friends in Colorado Springs cared for him, how accepting they were of his blindness. Carefully, his cane leading the way, he made his way up and over the bank, slipping slightly on the loose detritus on the ground. He stumbled on, his ears tuned in to the gentle sound of running water, using it as his guide, surprised by the steepness of the bank. Finally he felt the ground level out and he could walk more assuredly in the direction of the water. He paused as he felt the ground begin to sink again and painfully got to his knees. He released his grip of his stick and brushed his hand over the soft lushness of grass that came to an abrupt end as his hand slid off the bank. He bent forward lowering his hand and filling it with the cool, hopefully clean liquid. He splashed the contents on his face, hoping to cool the burning embarrassment away. His position reminded him why he had made the journey down the bank and he slumped onto his behind, so that he could pull his sticky trouser leg up to 'view' his injury. He winced as he pressed his handkerchief into the wound on his leg. Unable to see the extent of his injury he would have to guess, press the wound with the cloth, sprinkle it with water, pat it dry see if it still oozed warm liquid, and repeat over and over again until the blood stopped trickling down his leg. He exhaled, wishing that he had someone with him who could tell him how bad his leg was hurt. As he reached to dip his hand into the stream again a new sound startled him, the noise of the engine whistling, signalling it was on the move.

"No" he called, scrabbling his hand across the grass to find his stick. "NO" he fingers brushed his worn guider and he stumbled to his feet. Following the noise of the train he fumbled his way up the hill "WAIT" he called, but his voice was lost in the whistle of the train. It was leaving, pulling away from him, the sound of the metal wheels sliding over the metal tracks moving from a scrap to a hiss, the engine pulling the carriage away, leaving him behind. "WAIT" he called he stumbled and he slipped, his foot landing on some loose leaves that gave way in his haste. He yelled terrified as he slid back down the hill, landing at the bottom in an undignified heap. Crying as much through frustration as pain he listened lying in silence as the train pulled away, leaving him alone in the middle of nowhere, lost, with no way of getting home.

* * *

After a few minutes of tearful anger in which he was about to renounce his love for the Lord, The Reverend pulled himself together and straightened himself out. The cut on his leg had started to bleed again and in his haste to get the train he had not pulled his trouser leg down so he was certain it was now full of dirt again. He hobbled over to the stream. Exasperated he flopped to the ground and removed his boot and sock, before plunging the bleeding limb into the cool liquid, allowing it's gentle current to wash away the dirt.

His ears pricked as he heard the rustle of leaves, like an animal was moving through them, but the lack of other noise, the missing squeak or growl told him it was not an animal. Cautiously he pulled his leg out of the water. He seized his stick, brandishing it like a weapon and pulled himself to his feet.

"Who's there?" he called helplessly. The noise stopped, whoever was approaching him frozen in their tracks "Hello" The Reverend called out "Who's there, please I won't hurt you" he lowered his stick, hoping that it would prove to whomever was there that he meant it "Please who's there, I can hear you, please, please speak to me"

"Man I'm standing in front of you" the surprised voice came back, a boy his youthful voice cracking as his hormones worked to deepen it. The Reverend froze as he felt warm breath on his face, the boy within inches of him scanning him. "Can't you see?"

"I'm blind" The Reverend explained

"Got good ears though" The boy scampered away his feet moving like a whisper across the grass "You're watching me, man that's weird" In an instant the boy was back beside him, lifting and pressing the walking stick into The Reverend hand "It's gotta be a first" the boy continued, a confused smile in his voice, like he couldn't quite believe what he had discovered "No one ever hears me, that's why I'm the hunter" there was a hint of pride in his voice. "I'm Al, what's your name preacher man?"

"Timothy," he stammered bemused "The Reverend Timothy Johnson"

"Well the Reverend Timothy Johnson, it's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance" The boy mocked him before dissolving into a chuckle "Man Teller's gonna hate me for this"

"Teller?"

"One of my boys" Al continued his voice laced with pride

"Where are you from?" The Reverend asked confused.

"Where are you from?" Al countered "Somewhere down track, Big smoke preacher's don't look so raggedy. Wait a sec" There was a twang and a swoosh, the sound of an arrow released from a bow. Followed by a sickening crunch as the bolt struck true "Gotcha" Al whooped "We eat tonight Preacher Tim"

"What did you shoot" The Reverend called, frightened by the boy's exuberance and his skill with a bow. He followed the sound of Al's rustling feet, listening as the boy moved to his kill and then back again.  
"Dinner" The boy intoned, dangling the carcass of a rabbit in front of the Reverend's face. The Reverend sniffed shaking his head slightly as he took in the iron rich tang of the animal's blood. "You never smelt just dead before!" Al sounded surprised "Wow Preacher Tim you had it easy" The Reverend gasped as the boy grabbed his hand, "Come on better take you home, can't have a blind boy wandering around, you'd probably go off the bluff"

"Where do you live?" The Reverend asked holding his ground slightly as the boy led him stridently into the woods.

"Here and there" Al chuckled "Usually where there is food, and where no one can find us, less we find them. Right now we're in a cave, case the big flicker starts again, don't wanna be barbeque"

"Al" The Reverend relaxed enough to be led, pleased to be in company even if it was with a child who was leading him deeper into the unknown woods. "How old are you?"

"Dunno" Al sounded thoughtful "What's the date?"

"June 22nd"

"What year?" Al asked tugging the Reverend to the left.

The Reverend frowned "What Year?"

"Yeah" Al laughed "You know 18 70 what?"

"It's 1874" The Reverend told the boy

"Thought it was, just wanted to check" Al sighed "I'm 13 almost 14"

"Al?" The Reverend began again, curious as to why the boy needed to know the year. "How long have you been out here?"

Al laughed "Hang on Preacher Tim, watch the branch" There was a crunch as the boy bent back a branch in their path. "We've been out here almost four years" the boy muttered casually.

"How many of you are there?" The Reverend asked with surprised, knowing the answer was at least two.

Al sighed and The Reverend could tell that the boy was studying him again, after a few silent metres the boy spoke "There's seven of us now," his voice was hard and defensive, all hint of jovial banter gone "Only reason I'm helping you is cos your blind, you try anything to change what we got and I'll stop ya, Get it" he shook the rabbit carcass at the Reverend's face, droplets of still warm blood splashing across his bearded face "Understand Preacher man, try anything you end up like this"

* * *

"Dr Mike" Michaela looked up at the sound of Horace yelling. She glanced across at Katie the little girl comically rolling her eyes. She stifled a laugh, her little girl outwardly showing what she was thinking. She was not technically supposed to be working, at least not seeing patients, she and Sully had decided that unless it was an emergency she would not return to practising medicine until Esmee was three months old. The only reason she was in the clinic was because Esmee had needed feeding, Sully was continuing the chores getting all the bits that they would need to see them through the week and while she had told him she would seek him out once she was done in actuality she was thoroughly exhausted by the adventure into town and it seemed that everyone knew she was in the clinic anyway. Poor Esmee had been passed around like the collection plate in Church but it had led to great delight when the baby had started to coo and gurgle for the first time, interested by the endless stream of new faces. Knowing Horace's tendency for injuring himself, Michaela braced herself for what may be about to come through the door. The tall man burst in, not bothering to ring the bell or knock on the door. He was closely followed by Loren, Sully and Robert E.

"What's going on?" Michaela asked, her eyes travelling over the men as they crowded through the doorway, quickly checking each one over for injury.

"A wire just came in from the Doctor that you sent the Reverend to. He never made it to Denver"

"What?" Michaela frowned "I put him on the train myself"

"I know I saw ya" Horace continued breathily "Apparently the train had to stop coz of some branches on the line and no one remembered seeing him after that"

Michaela's mouth dropped open, the horrifying notion of the blind Reverend alone in the woods.

"Where?" Sully asked stepping forward, almost taking the paper from Horace's hand.

"Says about 30 miles South of Denver" Horace traced the words with his finger.

Sully reacted, spinning around and thumping his hand against the wall. "Sully" Michaela put her arm up resting it comfortingly on his shoulder, feeling his anxiety mirrored in hers.

"We could get the train to Castle Rock" Loren suggested, "get some horses and travel down till we see him"

"You do that Loren" Sully nodded in agreement, "I'll get Cloud Dancing, if we ride the horses hard we might be able to cover the distance before nightfall" He glanced at Michaela's clock, knowing it would be a tall order as it was already 2 o'clock. Sully frowned he didn't know his new horse well enough to know what it was capable of. He knew it would sprint, but for how long? he had no way of knowing if the animal would be able to cover the 40 or so miles that were needed to reach the estimated destination. Most horses only managed 30 miles in a day. His frown deepened, trying to work out the logistic in such a short amount of time, knowing if he pushed the horse too hard he would most likely be trapped out there with the Reverend "At least he won't be alone if we find him" he vocalised his thought, pausing Sully corrected himself "when we find him" he glanced at Michaela and then past her to Katie playing with her toys and Esmee asleep in her basinet "Will you be Ok?" he asked Michaela, his hand moving up and down her sleeve, his nervous action both for the missing Reverend and for his wife, should he leave on the search party she would face her first night alone since Esmee had been born.

"You have to go Sully" Michaela urged him.

"Why don't you stay here at the clinic" Robert E suggested "I'll go with Loren, you and Grace could stay together"

Michaela nodded and then gently pushed Sully "Go Sully, he needs you more" Sully nodded and turned to leave.

He pivoted full circle and came back to hold her, lightly he pressed his lips into her forehead before moving down to sample her mouth. "I'll find him" he whispered

"I know you will" Michaela kissed him tenderly. "Now go"

* * *

The Reverend had walked in silence after Al had threatened him so effectively, he could feel the blood drops had dried on his face, but where he was or how long they had walked was a mystery to him, all he had to guide him was this brazen teenage boy, who was as silent as he. After a time his ears picked up a new sound, the sound of voices on the breeze, happy chattering voices.

"They're useless" Al muttered quietly "Gonna get us found one of these days"

Now that the boy had spoken The Reverend allowed himself to talk "If you don't want to be found, why were you so close to the track?"

"Train spooks the animals, makes it easy to nab them" Al responded "OK, can it Preacher Tim I gotta speak to these lot"

They stopped and Al let go of his hand, moving away from The Reverend with speed. The voices stopped only Al's continuing, but the boy's tone was too low for The Reverend to make out the words. Suddenly he could hear them, seven pairs of feet approaching him, each treading lightly over the detritus of the forest floor. He could feel them watching him, their eyes burning into his skin, he shifted under their scrutiny unsure what he should say or door.

"Why'd you bring a grown up Al?" a voice of a young girl spoke up, breaking the silence.

"Preacher Tim's blind" Al made The Reverend jump as he suddenly placed his hand on his shoulder.

"I hate Preacher's" another voice spoke this time a boy.

"Nah" Al admonished "You just hate Catlic ones, he's a mish one, they don't try anything nasty, and if he does he'll get it" he slapped the Reverend on the shoulder "Right Preacher Tim? we got an understanding"

"Still don't think he should be here" the boy's voice spoke again.

The Reverend remained silent listening to the voices of children as they spoke back and forth, each of them sighting a reason why he should not be at their camp, Al good naturedly shouting them down.

"Al, he's bleeding" a girl's voice spoke out, a new voice, the seventh one, the one who had not yet spoken.

"He is Lets, can ya sort him out?" Al gently pushed the Reverend forward; a small hand reached out and took the Reverend squeezing it with gentle reassurance

"I'll take care of you, I'm Lettie" The seventh voice spoke to him.

"Nice to meet you Lettie" The Reverend greeted her, delighted to he touched by someone again, the little girl's gentle grip a huge comfort to him as he floated terrified in his blind darkness.

Al watched as the sweet blonde haired Lettie gently guided the man away to tend to him. The others still stood around him, scowling clearly angry at him.

"We don't need no grown up here"

Al turned to his oldest friend the one who had helped him keep the other children safe, the second oldest making him second in command, while he the eldest was in charge "Can it Wills" Al folded his arms, mirroring Will's stance "The guy is lost and blind, did ya want me to leave him there ta get knocked down by the train or worse? Huh?"

"He could tell on us" Will retorted, his long shaggy brown hair falling into his eyes.

"Nah" one of the other boys skipped around Will, angering the older boy "I'm the only one who Tells and imparts around here" he laughed, his poker straight blond hair falling into his bright blue eyes.  
"Pack it in Teller" Will snapped, lashing out at the other boy, striking the 11 year old boy in the chest.

Al growled and launched himself at Will, using his strength to teach his friend a lesson, he grappled the other boy to the floor pinning Will to the floor with his weight. "Don't hit the smaller kids" he pulled himself off the winded boy on the floor. "Look, Lettie will fix his leg, he'll stay with us tonight, then we'll take him downtrack to one of the towns, he can get his way home from there. It ain't like he can guide people to us"

"Still think ya shouldn't let a Preacher stay Mish or otherwise" Al turned to face the sharp nosed kid who had spoken, the boy's face pinched with anger.

"He won't hurt you Ross, I won't let him. It ain't like where we were, he ain't like them" Al tried to sooth the boy

Ross stared at him, his dark eyes glowering with past pain "how do you know? I'm gonna stay topside tonight"

Lettie glanced around the Reverend watching as the group split in two, Will leading Ross and Helen towards the bank that covered the cave that they were currently calling home. Shaking her head she returned to her task of clearing out the grown up's leg. It was different from what she had had to do before, harder, because he had hair covering his legs, while all of theirs were smooth, or at least they had been smooth, Will and Al's legs were growing hair, but they were older. She watched as the Reverend followed the sound of the wind chimes that hung in the cave mouth, his eyes following the noise even though he could not see what made it.

"They're chimes" Lettie offered "Teller, Helen and Ben make em"

"They sound nice" The Reverend offered not sure what else he could really say, he swallowed "How old are you Lettie?"

"I'm 10" she looked up at the man, scowling as he frowned at her answer "It's safer here, better than being on the train, at least we know Al will look out for us didn't know where we would end up when we were on the train"

"An Orphan Train?" The Reverend asked, his mind flashing back to when he had accepted a train into Colorado Springs and the drama it had caused.

"Yeah" Lettie spoke quietly "Wheels came off, Driver died, no one looked for us, no one wanted to"

"Only seven of you survived?" The Reverend asked softly

"There was eighteen of us, we split in two the other group didn't make it" Lettie sighed heavily, she looked up as Teller flounced in.

"Doubters are doubting again" he told her in a sing song voice "Ick, that's nasty" he responded to the wound on the Reverend leg.

"What happened to the other children?" The Reverend asked softly.

"Ooh" Teller muttered getting up and circling the blind man, "I get to impart"

"Not now Teller" Lettie shooed him, her voice sounding so much older than it should

"We'll show him" Teller pushed cheerfully

"He can't see ding bat" Another voice joined them, the youngest, his voice still ringed with childish innocence, the other's voices all possessing an edge of hardness.

"Hush Baby Ben" Teller half sang "We'll take him to the memory site, he can bless them, that's what you do right Preacher Tim, you bless the dead, you can bless ours."

* * *

Sully pulled his horse to one side, forcing it to ride up the embankment as the train passed by him. It was the train that would be carrying Loren and Robert E, taking them to on to Castle Rock, they would reach the other railroad town in just under an hour and from there they probably had an hour and a half to two hour ride back to where the train had stopped. It was a race against time to reach the Reverend. Sully just hoped the blind man was not injured and that he had had the good sense to stay near but not on the track.

"You are worried my brother" Cloud Dancing spoke as the train lumbered past.

Sully shrugged and pressed his horse on, his steed chasing down the dust of the train. Cloud Dancing pulled alongside his friend, noting the angry pensive expression on Sully's face. "Michaela will cope fine on her own" Cloud Dancing soothed his anxious friend. "You must focus on the here and now, not on what could be. Michaela is safe in town; your children are safe in town. It is the Reverend you must worry about"

"I just need ta find him. Michaela will..." Sully coughed slightly as dust caught his throat,

"You think she will blame herself if something goes wrong" Cloud Dancing guessed what his friend had been about to say "we shall find him nothing will go wrong" he smiled as Sully glanced sideways

"You don't know that" Sully reasoned "He could be hurt or worse" Sully scowled trying to calm himself, struggling to separate his fear for Michaela and the children's wellbeing from his fear for the Reverend's safety.

"You worry too much my brother, Michaela has regained her strength, found her spirit; your new daughter has reawakened her. She will be fine." Cloud Dancing gave Sully a knowing look as he pulled his horse in front of Sully's "Trust me my brother, we will find your Reverend and all will be well"

* * *

The three children led the Reverend through the woods to their memory site, the place they had buried their dead. It had once been the pool of a long dried up waterfall, the steep rock sides protecting the shrine they had laid out from the elements and animals. 11 graves stood neatly tended in what had been the shallow pool, each one precisely covered with stones to stop the animals digging up what lay beneath.

The Reverend allowed himself to be positioned by the children and listened as they dispersed to check some of the graves, clearing any fallen leaves. He smiled as he felt Ben the youngest placed his hand into his, the young boy gently pulling him on a tour of their special place.

"This is Tom, and the silent three, we didn't know their names" the boy pulled him around in a half circle "and this is Mary, Olive, Jonas, Yuri, Georgie" the boy paused slightly "And these two are Rigger and Bess" the boy's breath shuddered as he fought away tears.

Lettie crossed to the younger boy, wrapping her arms motherly around him, before looking up from the two freshest graves to the blind man who stood waiting patiently for an explanation. "Rigger and Bess got caught in the flicker"

"The Flicker?" The Reverend repeated "You mean the forest fire?"

"That wasn't a fire" Ben told him softly

"We call it Flicker because that was how everything looked, we couldn't see anything properly because if flickered" Lettie explained.

The Reverend gasped as he felt one of the children touch him, as he had been listening intently to the girl. "I can impart if you like" Teller told him softly.

"You mean tell me what happened? how these children died?" The Reverend asked quietly, his heart filling with further worry for the children,

"Sit Preacher Tim" Teller spoke dramatically "Let me tell you of the Flicker." The Reverend allowed himself to be led to a well worn ridge that formed a small almost seat like recess. Once he was positioned Teller began is dramatic interpretation of the children's ordeal in the fire "It was night but the sky burnt bright, Al decided that we should move to the lake. The camp was packed and we trudged on. Rigger was with Bess, but she panicked. She ran the wrong way, Rigger tried to stop her and he ran after her into Loop Cave. By the time he tried to get her out, the way was blocked with flame. Al and Will tried to save them, but they could not get near as the flame was too hot. Rigger said he could get round another way, get Bess to the lake, but they never made it. When the dirty stuff fell and the Flicker went out Al went looking for them. He found them sleeping near the entrance, not a scratch on them just dirty noses, the sick cloud got them, took them skywards. Now they watch over us with the others"

The Reverend sighed as the boy finished his story, trying to imagine how these children had coped in the terror of the forest fire. "Don't you want to go to a town?" he broached the subject with the children "Don't you want to be safe?"

"We are safe" Lettie informed him "Al keeps us safe, Flicker is the first thing bad that happened to us"

"What about the other children?" The Reverend splayed his arms indicating the other graves in front of him.

"They ate the wrong thing" The girl answered him cautiously "Al told us we should only eat what we saw the animals eat."

"They ate some berries and went Skywards" Teller intoned darkly, he abruptly giggled "Gotta eat what Al tells us"

"Al keeps us safe" Ben defended the older boy "Safer with Al than anywhere else. Al'll never hurt us. if we went to a Smoke, they could hurt us"

"Who could hurt you?" The Reverend asked.

"Adults" Al's voice filtered into the space "They either leave us or beat us" he sighed "Or worse" he cocked his head to the children, the three of them quickly retreated behind their protector "Suppers cooking" Al called coolly is tone indicating his displeasure, "Ya better follow if ya want any"

* * *

Michaela smiled at her youngest daughter and tenderly took her little hands; slowly she pulled Esmee into a sitting position, her chunky little cherub trying her damndest to keep her head in line with her body. Michaela smiled and picked the baby up positioning the infant into the crook of her arm. Esmee was thriving and the last few days Michaela had seen her baby beginning to exert her personality, that wonderful moment when the baby began to be a little person, as opposed to newborn, which just slept and cried, fed and defecated.

After the weeks of trauma and pain, and then the emotional few weeks after Esmee was born everything was finally beginning to fit back in to place. She was feeling more content in herself, the god awful Lochia was just about finished, and she had lost 10 pounds, which she was certain was down to feeding Esmee, she still had another 18 pounds or so to lose, but a large potion of that she was certain was in her bust. She was thoroughly exhausted, but she was so used to being fatigued because of the demands of her career, that being worn out because of something she loved so much was almost second nature.

Michaela smiled down at the baby, her mother had certainly been right about her being meant to be a mother, she had never felt so complete in all her life. While she was worried about the Reverend her fear was slowly being eclipsed by the overwhelming love that she felt not only for Esmee but for Katie as well. It was almost as if having her second daughter had made her fall in love with her first daughter all over again, with fierce unsquashable love. Not that she had ever fallen out of love for her first baby, just that the drama of her pregnancy had made her forget certain things, stopped her from feeling so deeply for those around her, as everything she was had been focused on the great mound which had housed Esmee.

Michaela sighed with contentment and began rocking from side to side, lulling the baby to sleep. Softly she began to hum, a melody that she couldn't quite put a name to but remembered it all the same. She turned slightly as she heard the door open, Brian coaxing a sleepy Katie through the door for a bedtime cuddle. Michaela smiled happily at her son, holding out her free arm to beckon him as Katie stumbled across to the bed.

"What da song?" Katie mumbled as she slumped against Michaela's side after Brian lifted her onto the bed.

"I'm not certain" Michaela paused in her humming to reposition her arm around Katie.

"Here Ma" Brian awkwardly lifted Esmee from Michaela's arms so that she could pull Katie on her lap. Michaela positioned her daughter, softly resting her chin on Katie's downy hair and began to hum the gentle lilting tune from the beginning.

Midway through the tune she paused as she heard a soft snore emitted from the little girl in her arms. She smiled and stood so that she could lay Katie down on the recovery room bed. Katie positioned on one side of the mattress, Michaela turned to watch her son with the baby. He had taken her to the window and was gently rocking back and forth one hand under the baby's rump the other firmly over her chest, holding her so she could see out. After a moment Brian realised he was being watched,

"You look so grown up" Michaela mused crossing to stand beside him and placing her arm around his shoulder. It tickled her that the little boy who once only came up to her waist now stood a full head taller than she did. He blushed slightly and offered Esmee to her "No you keep hold of her" Michaela moved her arm so that she could encompass him in a hug but not disturb the baby "I would like to hug you"

"Ma" Brian whispered embarrassed.

Michaela smiled at him "One thing you must learn Brian, is you are never too old or too tall for your mother to give you a hug"

Brian laughed slightly "I love you Ma"

"I love you too" Michaela responded tenderly to him, she was conscious that her son may be feeling left out of things, just as he had when Katie had been a baby.

"Do you think Pa will find the Reverend?" Brian asked as he shifted Esmee to lie in his arms, smiling widely at her his expression a mile away from his worried tone of voice.

Michaela thoughtfully rested her chin on his shoulder, matching his expression as she too smiled down at the baby "I believe someone will find him, and then they will all come home to us"

"You sound happy Ma" Brian told her softly

Michaela smiled before lightly kissing Brian's cheek "I have a lot to be happy about"

"Even though Pa is out there in the dark" Brian's nervousness rose.

"Yes," Michaela lowered her voice as she watched Esmee's blue eyes droop close as her infant daughter succumbed to sleep, "because I have faith in his abilities, and I have faith that they will all come back to us" she looked up at him sensing that Brian had more burning questions to ask "We have to have faith Brian, just as you had faith that Esmee and I would be OK,"

"I know Ma" he turned his head tilting it so that he could rest him on hers, relishing the close contact with the woman who had raised him after so long of only being able to love her from afar. "I do, just sometimes I need you to help me remember"

* * *

The Reverend remained seated by the fire, the children, at Al's gentle prodding all gone into the cave to prepare for sleep. Eventually the clatter of the boy tidying up died down and the silence fell on the small camp.

"You are a good cook" The Reverend paid the boy a complement. Silence greeted him. Wondering if the boy had moved into the cave he tried again "You are a good leader for them, the children feel very safe with you" silence remained solidly around him "Al?"

After a few moments the boy spoke, his voice making the Reverend jump, the boy closer to him then he thought "You couldn't leave it could you Preacher Tim?"

"Leave what?" The Reverend asked, noting the harsh edge in the boy's voice.

"Asking about living in a Smoke" Al hissed "If it was better for them there I would have taken them there, but it's safer here, no one can hurt them. No grown up can hurt them. I'd thought you'd be different, a mish and blind boy can't get hurt by him I said, guess I was stupid"

"I didn't mean to upset anyone, if I have..."

"Shut it" Al spat at him, "I work hard to keep them safe, me, I keep em safe!"

"I never said you didn't" The Reverend spoke carefully "But sometimes you can always use a hand, if you will not accept a physical one perhaps a spiritual one. The Lord is always there if you need him"

"No he ain't" Al spoke out of the darkness, surprising the blind man once again as the boy moved unheard to the left "He wasn't there when my Mum died or my Dad ran out on me, He wasn't there in the Orphanage, he wasn't there for Bess or Rigger or any of the others. The only thing those kids need is me and the food I find for them. We don't need the hand of the Lord, or a Big Smoke or grownups" The boy moved at a frenzied pace, retreating and the approaching in quick session like he was running back and forth to quell his anger "I keep em fed and clothed, I've done it for four years, just us, safe. The only danger we've had is the Flicker and that would have been caused by some idiot from a Smoke. Don't preach to me Preacher Man, I've seen what your God does or rather doesn't do. I've held a kid who's been so weak from lack of food, held his hand when I was six watched him die, watched others die too. That wasn't out here that was in a Smoke, at the hands of supposed do-gooder grownups. Beat the boy so hard because he was crying, broke him, then not try and help him. Grownups do that, not me. I keep mine safe"

" Al You're growing up, you all are, what are you going to do when you are no longer children?" He felt the blow approaching a second before it struck, a rush of air before Al's sharp fist made contact with his jaw. The Reverend groaned as he went sprawling onto the cool ground.

"Shut up" Al screeched.

Taking a moment to gain his composure the Reverend held out his hand "Al I'm sorry please forgive me I ..."

"Didn't mean it" Al hissed, "They never do" The boy seized the Reverend's hand yanking the man upright. The Reverend stumbled as Al pushed him. "You better run Preacher man" the boy hissed at him.

"Run?" The Reverend asked. He gulped as Al pressed the tip of an arrow into his cheek. The boy shoved him again, and this time the Reverend did as he was told running in god knows direction, branches whipping at his face as he stumbled over branches. He caught the sound of the arrow being released from the bow, fear coursed through him, knowing that he was moments away from death. He fell, tripping over a fallen log smashing to the ground. A second later the arrow struck a tree that had been in front of him, without a moment's hesitation he was up and running again, his arms outstretched, trying to get to safety.

* * *

Sully rolled uncomfortably on the hard ground, it was past midnight and the forest alive with nocturnal creatures. Worryingly after 6 hours of riding he and Cloud Dancing had joined up with Loren and Robert E riding from the opposite direction and neither of them had seen any sign of the Reverend. Their makeshift camp was lit by a quarter moon, a pale half glow that made everything half visible. The four horses stood huddled together, huffing in their sleep. The mood was sombre, and while each man had his eyes closed none were asleep all of them consumed with worry for their missing friend.

Through the darkness Sully's well trained ears picked out a noise that did not belong, instantly he sat up, Cloud Dancing matching his actions his own ears tuned in on what should not be in the wood.

"Reverend" Sully called as he climbed to his feet. The noise stopped, "REVEREND" Sully yelled again as he ran up the embankment that ran alongside the track, the other men only steps behind him.

"REVEREND" Loren called staring down into the blackness of the descending slope.

"LOREN!"

The men breathed a collective sigh of relief as they heard the Reverend call out to them from the darkness.

"Reverend" Sully called "Where are you? Shout again"

"I'm here" The Reverend called again.

Sully followed the sound of the man's voice, as he took a step forward ready to step into the depths of the forest Loren reached out. "Wait Sully" the old man pulled Sully back "Reverend follow the sound of my voice." He took a deep breath "Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee; Sounds of the rude world, heard in the day, Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away! Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song, List while I woo thee with soft melody; Gone are the cares of life's busy throng, Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!" Loren waved his hands at the other men indicating to them join in.

With bemused expressions the three other men not knowing the words joined in with the melody of the song as Loren continued to belt out the lyrics. "DA DA DA DAAA DA, DA DA DA DAAA, DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAA,"

"Keep singing" The Reverend called "I'm coming, keep singing"

Loren started from the beginning again, this time Cloud Dancing and Robert E half joined in as they picked up some of the words.

Sully crouched down his eyes scanning the darkness for movement; finally as the men neared the last line of the first verse his eyes caught something. "REVEREND" he called out to the moving shape. Sully slid down the bank, the missing man becoming clearer as he neared him. "I got you Reverend" he called reaching out and capturing the stumbling man into his strong arms.

"Sully" The Reverend breathed a sigh of relief, as he ran his hands over Sully's strong arms.

Sully Peered through the darkness taking in the lash marks on the blind man's face from where he had struck branches as he ran through the trees. "I got you Reverend" Sully repeated "Your safe, I got you"

* * *

The Reverend pushed open the door to the Church and slipped inside. Five days after his ordeal in the woods he was now due to hold the service for his parishioners. While he had been seen by many of them when they came to the store for their supplies he couldn't help but feel self conscious about the lash marks on his face from the tree branches. Though Loren assured him he looked fine, the fact that he was not able to see his appearance worried him, as the last thing he wanted to do was scare anyone.

He paused as he entered the Church fully, frowning as he took in the sound of breathing, after a moment he spoke "Al?"

"Woah" the boy responded quietly "You could tell it was me? Thatsa gift" he gave a low appreciative whistle. The Reverend gripped his stick nervously, holding it in front of him, like it would protect him, even though he knew that should Al fire his bow it would do little to protect him. "Mish Churches ain't as pretty as Catlic ones" Al continued, moving from where he had been stood behind the pulpit, his footsteps echoing on the wooden floor "I like it though" The boy moved again, shifting to stand beside the piano. "Can ya play?" he touched a note the sound reverberating round the small church.

"Yes" The Reverend whispered quietly, his stance relaxing slightly. "Would you like to learn?" he asked cautiously.

"You'd teach me?" The boy sounded surprised.

"If you tell me why you are here?" The Reverend ventured.

He listened as the boy sighed heavily "Lets and Ben, they were kinda mad I made ya leave. Lets is real good at making ya feel guilty"

"Please tell Lettie I appreciate her concern" The Reverend smiled

"I also wanted to tell ya I didn't mean to scare ya, I was mad, I shouldn'ta tried to shoot you, I just gotta look after them, can't have them wanting to live in a Smoke, wanting Ma's and Pa's that they ain't never gonna have" Al sighed "I followed you, ta make sure,"

"Make sure?" The Reverend moved slowly to join the boy by the piano, he quickly made out where the bench seat was and sat down.

"That someone found you, well actually to make sure ya didn't go off the bluff" Al spoke quietly. The Reverend sighed slightly, listening to the sound of the small smile in the boy's breaking voice.

Quickly The Reverend positioned his hands on the piano his finger tips tracing the smooth surface of the keys until he felt the worn Middle C, his hands fell into the natural position on the keys and he began to play. Instantly Al slid onto the spare space on the bench seat, his breathing increasing with his happiness. The Reverend paused in his playing; he returned his fingers to the starting position before lifting them off. "Place you hand were mine was" he urged the boy, he listened to the boy's evident excitement and smiled. "Now the key under your thumb will be middle C" The clear note rang out as the boy struck it. "Very Good" The Reverend smiled. "Now if you..."

"Can ya teach me to play the song they were singing?" Al interrupted him,

"I can" The Reverend gently played a chord "On one condition"

"What?" the boy sounded suspicious "What condition?"

"If you tell me your full name" The Reverend spoke softly

"My name" The boy spoke quietly "That's it?" The Reverend nodded, Al blew air through his lips exhaling slowly "Alright, it's Alvis"

"Alvis what?"

"Hewitt, Alvis Hewitt" the boy sighed "Happy now Preacher Tim?"

"Yes" The Reverend smiled, he felt the keys of the piano finding his way to the note he needed to start the song. "Now Beautiful Dreamer is a fairly simple song."

"Ya not going to say anything else?" Al asked with surprise.

"No" The Reverend shook his head, his fingers poised to play "I said one condition"

"I was wrong ya know" The boy grinned and played the note he had been taught

"About?" The Reverend asked warily

"Bout grown ups, ya ain't all bad, well you ain't bad" Al muttered "I trust you, I know ya won't tell on us," he sighed "I guess I'm trying ta say you're alright Preacher Tim,"

"Thank you Al" The Reverend smiled and held out his hand. He smiled as the boy seized his palm, squeezing it as he made the connection to the lost little boy.


	18. What the head tells the heart

_Early again, feeling nice, haven't slept all that well so got lots done. _

_2 Confessions- firstly this was not the chapter I planned, the original plan was for a bounty hunter to come and hunt Robert E and the townsfolk to send him on his merry way in a particularly clever way. However when researching I couldn't actually find a way for this to happen without the entire town committing treason. So anyway I release that plot bunny into the ether, if anyone can figure out how to do that I'd be interested to see. Anyway as it wasn't the original the story was hashed out pretty quick but I feel that the Michaela and Sully portion near the end makes up for it._

_Second confession – this is the penultimate chapter, The story was originally supposed to be twenty chapters long, but writing the last two which was a part 1 and 2 affair I felt I was giving you two half baked chapters so I've been combining them and made them into one slightly longer hopefully better chapter, but that is next week. Anywho just wanted to let you know that this is the beginning of the end of 'season 7' but 'season 8' will follow shortly._

_Anyway I hope you enjoy! _

What the head tells the heart

Michaela deftly plaited Katie's ever lengthening blonde hair, after years of the little girl's white blonde tresses growing at snail's pace all of a sudden it had started growing at such a rapid rate that Michaela could barely keep up with it, she had no choice but to tie it out the way simply because the fine strands would tangle in an instant, and though it broke her heart to tie away the beautiful sheet of soft white gold hair, it was the only way that she could be sure that there would be no tears from Katie.

"There you are" Michaela finished "Would you like a ribbon?"

Katie looked thoughtful for a moment, "Turn around Mama" she requested, Michaela complied slowly rotating so that Katie could find whatever it was that she was looking for, "No tank you, dja-ust string puhlease"

"Ok, then you are good to go" Michaela helped the little girl down from the chair beside her vanity.

As soon as Katie's feet touched the wooden floor she raced to stand in front of the full length mirror in the corner, she turned from side to side studying her reflection, "Mama, dyo fink I look like you?"

Michaela smiled as she crossed to her daughter and turned the little girl to face the mirror again, bending over she brought her face so that it was level with Katie's "I think so" she smiled remembering the family photo that had sat on her father's desk and how much Katie looked like she had as a young child.

Katie broke into a beaming smile "Good" she turned suddenly capturing Michaela tightly round the neck "Love you Mama" she kissed her mother strongly.

Michaela returned the kiss "I love you too sweetheart"

It took a few moments before Katie released her from her fierce hug, satisfied the little girl strolled over to the cot, while Michaela smoothed her rumpled blouse. The little girl studied her sister, suddenly she took a sharp intake of breath, her hand slamming across her mouth and nose.

"Mama" she yelled taking a step back "Esmee did a stinky"

Michaela smiled and quickly lifted the baby from the cot, confirming as Katie was correct and her baby daughter had filled her diaper. She moved to the chest of drawers and quickly went about changing the soiled cloths.

"Woah Mama" Katie observed from a safe distance "Dat's a big one"

Michaela chuckled softly "Yes it is" she smiled down at the half naked baby "You've made quite a mess haven't you" Esmee gave a gurgled response.

"She's talkin Mama" Katie giggled deciding that her interest in the noises her sister was making far outweighed her dislike of the smell and ran over to join Michaela. The little girl looped her arm around her mother's legs, hugging them tightly "What see sayin?"

Michaela diapered the baby and quickly redressed her "I believe she is agreeing with us" she tenderly kissed Esmee on her plump cheek. "All clean" she looked down at Katie "Would you like a cuddle?"

"Yup" Katie grinned and ran for her parent's bed, taking a running leap at the structure and landing half on it. She used her hands to seize the quilt and heaved herself up with all her might, she succeeded in pulling her legs up onto her parent's mattress and wiggled her knees closer to her head bottom waggling in the air. Feeling like she was on the bed, she knelt upright, before crawling to the pillows and sitting down. "Weady" she held her arms out to accept Esmee.

Michaela stifled a laugh, amused by her daughter's decidedly unladylike ascension onto the bed. "You most certainly are" she leaned over and placed the baby into Katie's arms, making sure that she placed Esmee's now clean bottom on Katie's lap, so that her older daughter could properly support the baby's head.

"See getting bigger Mama" Katie whispered before softly kissing her sister on the cheek.

"She is" Michaela agreed as she settled herself onto the mattress beside her little girls. "She's growing a lot"

"Coz see eats a lot" Katie surmised "see eats all your food, dat why you get tin ag-gain"

Michaela blushed at her daughter's comment "yes sweetheart"

"You won't disper, disaper," Katie frowned as she struggled with the word.

"Disappear?" Michaela offered, she shook her head "No sweetheart, Esmee only eats the special food I make, she doesn't eat me"

"Good" Katie sighed and fixed her little sister with a fierce stare "Don eat Mama"

Michaela laughed and leant in so she could kiss her older daughter "You are the sweetest little girl in all creation"

"Esmee sweet too" Katie offered charitably

"Yes, she is and I am one very lucky Mama" Michaela playfully rubbed her nose against Katie's before she leant further over and kissed Esmee, as she straightened up Esmee gurgled slightly, Michaela smiled at her 8 week old daughter. In response the baby returned the expression, her chubby cheeks rising upwards as her little mouth pulled wide revealing the gums beneath, her still blue eyes twinkling, Esmee's first real proper smile. Michaela lifted her daughter out of Katie's arms. "Oh Sweetheart, that was a beautiful smile", She kissed the baby before holding her under the arms in front of her. Esmee kicked her legs and gave her another smile. "Katie did you see that?"

"No" Katie frowned, and got to her feet so that she was at the same height as Esmee.

Michaela kissed Esmee on the belly "Are going to smile for her sister?" she smiled widely again, prompting the baby to copy her.

Katie clapped her hands "Mama she smiled, have to show Papa" Michaela winced slightly as Katie leapt from the bed, landing on the floor in crash before running off in search of her Pa. Alone with her new baby Michaela kissed the infant again, drinking in the scent of fresh talc. The fact that Esmee had smiled was such as relief, Katie had been smiling from only a few weeks old and although she knew that babies develop at different paces it had been worrying her that Esmee had not mastered the expression. She cradled the baby into the crook of her arm so that she could follow Katie out in search of Sully, as she left the room she looked down one last time and beamed as her daughter unprompted smiled at her, evidently very happy with her new trick and the response it gained.

* * *

Sully read the wire message again and thoughtfully chewed on his lip. 4 weeks away, could he stand to be away from his family for 4 weeks, could he stand to miss 4 weeks of Esmee's young life, but then could the family afford for him to turn down a $200 pay check, and if he went now the money would tide them over so that he could spend more time with the baby when she was up and about, more interested in the world. Michaela was stronger now, almost her normal self, she was over the trauma of the birth and the injury to her leg, but he had only left her for one night when he went to search for the Reverend, could he leave her for longer than that and she still be fine. He sighed so uncertain about what to do. Deep in thought he set the paper down on the bench beside him and stared out at the vista in front of the house, trying to let the beauty of the landscape calm his fractious mind as he came to a decision about what to do.

"PAPA Lookie" Katie yelled rushing out of the front door. The little girl oblivious to her father's pensive mood leant against his knees bubbling with excitement, "Lookie what Mama getted Esmee to do"

Sully looked up as his wife emerged from the house carrying their new daughter, her face beaming with happiness. "What she get Esmee to do Katie girl?" Sully asked his daughter.

Katie scrambled off him and ran to her mother bouncing from one foot to the other as Michaela made her way to the bench. "Show Papa Mama, show Papa"

"I will sweetheart" Michaela smiled down at her middle daughter, she made her way to the bench so she could sit beside Sully, her smile wavered slightly as she caught the thoughtful look on Sully's face. Her brow wrinkling as Sully quickly grabbed the yellow piece of paper from the bench and crumpled it into his palm.

"What did Dancer do then?" Sully asked holding his empty hand up to accept Michaela next to him. Michaela smiled warmly at Sully's new nickname for their daughter, born from the little girl's long legs that moved about all the time, the fact Esmee had kicked her so much while she had been pregnant and that more often than not when Esmee was crying they would have to sway rhythmically from side to side like they were dancing with her to stop the tears.

"She smiled" Michaela told him proudly "A proper smile, not gas"

"She did" Sully grinned "Show me" he ran his finger down Esmee's soft cheek "Can ya smile for me?"

Michaela repositioned the baby on her lap and leaned forward her own face serene as she cooed to the baby "Are you going to show your Pa what a beautiful smile you have" her mouth pulled into a wide smile, prompting the baby to reciprocate the expression. "Oh that's so beautiful" she raised the baby so she could kiss the infant gently.

"You see Papa" Katie excitedly tapped his leg.

"I did" Sully assured her.

Michaela inclined her head puzzled by his subdued demeanour. "Katie, would you be a big girl and go and tidy your toys for me." She smiled as Katie wrinkled her nose "It would help me a lot"

Katie sighed dramatically "Alwight" Katie looked at Michaela seriously "But aftah dat I pway wiv Esmee"

"Yes sweetheart" Michaela sighed as Katie ran into the house; she turned and studied her husband "Sully, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Sully, why did you hide the telegram?" Michaela asked him gently, Sully responded with a sigh, she frowned and ran her free hand over his arm "Sully, please, tell me what's wrong" Sully sighed again and loosened his grip on the piece of paper staring down at it like it was about to burst into flames. "May I?" Michaela requested reaching for the paper. Quickly her eyes scanned the words "Oh, ... are you going to take it?"

"I dunno" Sully frowned "I don't want to leave you and the kids but it's a lot of money"

"You should take the job Sully" Michaela whispered quietly after a few minutes of swollen silence.

"Seriously?" Sully looked at her surprised.

Michaela sighed "We need the money Sully and now is an opportune time as we do not need to worry about childcare,"

Sully leant over and kissed her softly on the cheek "You're amazing, have I told you that?"

"I believe you may have told me once or twice" Michaela blushed slightly.

"Well I'll tell ya a couple o more times" Sully kissed her softly again, he smiled as she rested her head against his shoulder, his expression belying his mind, as he tried to fathom how he could make himself leave such a beautiful being even though she had told him to go.

* * *

Michaela roughly cut the vegetables for the stew into large chunks, sighing she threw them into the pot and listlessly stirred the contents. 200 dollars, is that what she was willing to give up a month of her husband for, a miserly 200 dollars. Not that 200 dollars was a sum that should be sniffed at, it was a very good amount, which would see them through the majority of the rest of the year probably through to early December, and it would certainly quench Sully's desire to provide for the family. She sighed heavily again, the only reason she had told him to go was because she knew how much he needed it. Sully needed to be out in the open, if he wasn't for a long period of time he had a habit of getting a little surly, and the last thing that she wanted was for her husband to resent her for keeping him at home, especially as he had been stuck at the homestead with them when she had been so big, and then while she had been injured and big and then just injured. She didn't want to be a burden to him, to appear needy, despite the fact that sometimes she felt as if she needed him to survive as much as she needed air. She could feel her anger rising, she wanted him to stay, wanted him to want to stay, he had seemed so pleased when she said he should go. Frustrated she plunged her hand into the bowl of dough she had been making and resumed kneading it. She knew her anger was irrational that Sully had probably seemed pleased because she had made the tough decision for him, but it was that niggling doubt in her mind, that niggling doubt that came from the fact that although she was thinner, she still wasn't her pre Esmee self and they still hadn't resumed with their love making. If she was married to any man other then Sully she would be certain that he would have been down to Hank's and sampled one of the girls, but Sully was so different to other men, she knew he would never do that. She just wish she could be aesthetically acceptable to him again, desirable to him again, not this tired woman, who couldn't bear his touch on her tender milk laden breasts and who's belly was best left underneath her chemise for the rest of eternity. He deserved someone so much more beautiful than her, someone younger, more vibrant.

She sniffed back a tear, and leant her face into her shoulder so she could wipe her cheek. She wished she was half the women that Sully deserved, she wished she could pay him back for everything she did for him but there was no way she could, she could never be that person, never be that woman. She sniffed again, but it was no use, the salty tears rolled down her cheeks and landed in the bread dough as she kneaded trying to bash out her hurt into the bread.

* * *

Sully paused on the top step as he listened to Michaela's quiet sobs, he hated it when she cried, he hated it even worse when he knew it was his doing. He wanted to go down and comfort her, but he didn't know how, if he went down now and told her she wasn't going it would only start an argument, as she would accuse him of babying her and she would then feel like he was only staying because of her. Sighing, he softly climbed back up the step, quickly he made his way to Katie's room, the little girl's door was half ajar and he could hear her talking sweetly to her toys, acting out some vast imaginary world that she had created. He positioned himself so that he could watch his daughter but she could not see him. The little girl was so like her mother, this beautiful delicate angel sent to him for some unknown reason. It baffled him every time he looked at Michaela and now Katie and Esmee what he could have done to deserve these precious gifts, what he had done that meant he deserved Michaela's love. He sighed again, was 200 dollars really worth leaving his blessings behind for a month, so that how much he could be bought for, how much he was willing to leave them for, for the government he hated so much. Of course 200 dollar was a substantial amount, a very substantial amount, he could support the family for months on that and if he got a bonus like he often did, especially if he finished early he could get Michaela a fabulous gift for Christmas, something that befitted his beautiful wife, something that she deserved. He leant his head against the warm wood of the wall, listening to Katie as she spoke for her toys, her voice changing from high to low and back again as she played out a scene, between Flo and her bear which was being a man for this particular story. Suddenly she stopped, Sully listened quietly as her feet padded across the floor. He smiled as she stuck her head out the door. "Hey Papa" she greeted him with a smile. "You wanna puhlay?"

"Sure" he held out his hand and allowed himself to be led into Katie's room. He joined Katie on the floor "What we playing?"

"Bwave" Katie told him simply, she handed him the bear "You be Bywon" Sully coughed slightly at her use of his first name "You alwight Papa?" Katie asked innocently.

"Yeah" Sully recovered. "What does Byron do?"

"He rescues Em, dats Flo, from da evil one eye" Katie explained, holding up her doll and a piece of paper which showed a face with only one huge eye on it. "One eye stealed Em from Bywon, and now dey have to run troo da woods and get to da cliff" Katie leapt onto her bed, precariously she balanced the doll on the edge "Hold da bear here Papa" she patted her quilt. "You be Em too" Katie pushed Flo into his hand and stood on her bed. She held the crumpled drawing up and lowered her sweet voice into a growl. "I gonna steal you Em, you be mine fo evah" she gave a cackling laugh. She yanked the bear from her father's grip "NOO You will ne'er have her" she lunged the paper at the bear "I will die fo her" Katie grinned as she began mashing the paper with the bear. "Now give Flo Papa" she pulled the doll from his grip and 'ran' her two toys together making them kiss

"Katie?" Sully asked his daughter gently as the little girl continued to make her toys kiss. "Who told you this story?"

"Bwrian" she smiled at him, before frowning as she took in her Pa's bewildered expression, "We puhlay someting else if you wike?"she dropped her toys and bounced her way to the end of the bed before sliding off. "I know, snickgles"

"snickgles?" Sully repeated, "You just make it up?"

"Yup" Katie grinned at him.

"How do ya play snickgles then?" Sully asked, his little girl lightening his worried mood.

Katie flopped into his lap, "You gotta twy an make me laugh, while I hugging you, no talking dough" she wrapped her arms around him as far as she could manage.

"Ya mean like this" Sully tickled her expertly in the tummy.

Katie dissolved into giggles as she squirmed under his fingers. "Papa stop" she begged him as he continued to mercilessly tickle her.

"Ok, but only if you say I win" Sully continued to get fits of giggles from his daughter.

"Papa win" Katie managed to speak through her laughing. She took a couple of deep breaths "What pwize Papa?"

"Mmmm" Sully looked thoughtful "My prize is you going and giving ya Ma a big hug" Katie stared at him quizzically, Sully pulled the little girl into a hug, "that way she'll smile a lot and I like it when ya Ma smiles"

"Dats a good pwize Papa" Katie agreed, she slipped out of his reach "I go do it now, I give her biggestest hug I can" she kissed him quickly and scampered from the room.

Sully sighed and slumped back against Katie's bed his head striking her soft mattress. Wondering how he could endure weeks without his little girl, how could he go from day to day never seeing her sweet smile or hearing her childlike logic. He was going to have to pass the job up, find another way to support his family, he sighed again, how he was going to do that he had no idea, no one in town had much money anymore, they weren't hiring new staff, or construction workers to build homes lost in the fire. He hadn't worked in weeks, and granted he had had Michaela to care for but he hadn't worked since before she got sick before she got injured, he hadn't put any money into the running of the household, it had all been his wife. Frustrated he ran his hands through his hair, he had to take the job, he needed the money so he could do what a man was supposed to do, provide for his family.

* * *

Michaela quickly grabbed hold of her shift and threw it over her head as she heard the sound of Sully approaching. Darting away from the mirror she busied herself checking on Esmee as he walked in.

Sully smiled as he observed his beautiful wife leaning over the crib, her figure highlighted provocatively through her white garment as she leant forward and the fabric slipped to sit tightly across her behind. He swallowed. It had been a long time since he had been able to enjoy his wife's enthusiasm; he had been hoping that she would begin to get her urges again soon, especially as this was about the length of time that she had returned to him in that way after having Katie. He knew that this time it was different, that she was more tired because she had to care for two small children and because she was upset over the job offer. He forced himself to look away from her, taking several deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down.

Michaela turned and watched her husband, biting her lip to stop her tears from falling as she realised he was pointedly not looking at her, nor had he approached her, and that she was correct in her assumption that he now found her hideous. She had been so careful to not let him see what was beneath her clothes for fear of disgusting him but she knew that somehow he had seen, and it would appear that the thought of her wearing just her shift turned him off from her completely. She waited for him to move to his side of the bed, before she darted under the covers, pulling the quilt tight to her neck and lying on her side, taking up as small amount of the mattress as possible.

Sully watched Michaela position herself in bed and frowned, he hated it when she was this upset with him, and he knew that even though she had told him to take the job that she was angry with him. Quickly he kicked off his buckskins letting them fall to the floor and he slipped under the covers. Tentatively he crept his hand across the mattress so that he could touch Michaela, his hand falling on her waist, instantly he retracted it as she flinched at his touch. "Sorry" he mumbled "Didn't mean ta startle ya"

Michaela blinked several times as she listened to the tone of his warm voice, his apology was sincere she could tell, and she appreciated that he was trying but she just couldn't risk him feeling what lay beneath her white garment. She came to a logical conclusion, a way in which she could still please him, and not frighten him off. Quickly she rolled into him, angling her body so that her head touched his chest, but her middle made no contact at all. "Ya tender?" he asked softly.

She nodded slightly, although she was as he put it tender the discomfort was nothing she could not handle, but at least it was a valid excuse. "Yes" she answered him quietly "Sorry"

That's Ok" he gently moved his arm to rub hers "Can't help that" he kissed her temple softly "You get some sleep"

"Good night Sully" Michaela whispered to him,

Sully tenderly ran his fingers across her face brushing a stray tendril of hair from hiding her beautiful features "Night Caela"

* * *

Brian watched Sully from the safety of the porch, watching as his father swung the axe high and wide, bringing the blade down with hammering force to slice through the logs like they were butter. He frowned, he could tell that Sully was distracted, Brian never felt he could approach Sully when he was not focussed, just in case he got struck, he knew that Sully was probably the most trustworthy person there was when it came to blades and he was more likely to be struck by a piece of wood then the blade, but anything that Sully hit always packed a punch. Knowing he needed to speak to his father to find out what was going on between his parents he moved out of the safety of the porch and walked slowly towards the chopping block. When things were strained between his parents he would always approach Sully first, it was just simpler, Sully was just simpler, with Sully if you asked him a question he would answer, whereas his Ma would get flustered or upset that he had noticed something was wrong.

"Hey Sully" he called alerting the man to his presence.

"Brian" Sully greeted him; he kept his swing striking the log on the block. The cylinder of wood fragmented into two, falling to the browning grass.

Brian took the chance to break in, he quickly moved and collected one of the pieces "You Ok?" he asked cautiously.

"Yup" Sully muttered, picking up another piece of wood.

"You two fighting over the job offer?" Brian quickly deduced before Sully could swing the axe.

Sully narrowed his eyes slightly at his adopted son "How'd you know about that?"

"Horace" Brian smiled slightly as Sully rolled his eyes, another breach of the postmaster's infamous oath.

"We ain't fighting" Sully corrected Brian "Your Ma told me I should go"

"But" Brian pressed pulling himself up to sit on the fence.

Sully grinned at him, he swung the axe, burying the blade into the chopping block, the blade safely stowed he climbed up the fence post to join his son. "But, ya Ma seems upset with me"

"She does seem a bit distracted" Brian agreed, "I figure it's Esmee through" he looked awkwardly at his hands "Feeding her and that, it's weird watching Ma's blouse getting smaller when she needs to feed her" he self consciously rubbed his leg, embarrassed to admit he had been watching his Ma in that particular place.

"Can't be comfy" Sully sighed

"At least you get to enjoy them" Brian muttered, suddenly slipping from the beam as he realised what he had just said. "Sorry that was… I shouldn't have said that"

Sully chuckled "Working for Hank turned you into a man of the world huh?" he smiled at his son's red face

"But it's Ma shouldn't think of Ma like that, shouldn't think of any woman like that" Brian shook his head "Women aren't to be enjoyed they are to be respected and treasured, right Pa?"

"Right" Sully nodded, "Though you can enjoy them if you treat em right"

Brian kicked the dirt with his boot "You getting to enjoy Ma?" he asked tentatively.

Sully looked at the teen in surprise, he watched as the boy's face got redder and redder, he smiled "Thanks Brian, but this ain't the conversation I want to be having with my son" he chuckled as Brian gave an audible sigh of relief "I appreciate the gesture though"

"If ya need to talk, then I'm here" Brian told him pulling himself back up onto the fence. "We are the only men in the house"

Sully grinned "Couple of thorns in a bed of roses"

"I mean it Pa, if you need anything, talk, chores doing, need me to take Esmee in with me for a bit, I don't mind" Brian told him sincerely.

"Thanks Brian" Sully put a fatherly arm around the boy's neck "Ya gotta stop growing ya know?"

"I know" Brian grinned "I gotta have something going for me though"

"You got a lot going for you son" Sully squeezed Brian's shoulder "A lot"

Brian blushed "Thanks Pa"

"Don't try grow up too soon huh?" Sully tapped Brian tenderly on the chin with his thumb "Yer a grown up for a long time"

"How bout I be a grown up when you or Ma need me to be" Brian offered

"That's a fair deal" Sully grinned and gently moved his arm so that he could dismount from the fence. "How about you and me go for a ride?"

Brian grinned "Sure Pa"

* * *

Michaela watched as her husband and son set about saddling Brian's horse and ride off together, without a word. Not that they needed to tell her where they were going, Sully was his own man and Brian almost one as well, and it was a good thing, especially as the teenage boy had been cooped up with his two little sisters, he needed company of a man, Sully probably did to, as much as he loved his daughters she knew that he needed his space, but he could get enough space when he was away from them for a month. Sighing she turned away from the window and leant against the counter subconsciously rubbing her middle as she tried to suppress her tears.

"Mama?" Katie whispered creeping up to her.

Michaela forced a wide smile onto her face "Yes Sweetheart?"

"You havin nother baby?" the little girl asked sweetly "You wub tummy like did when Esmee in you"

"No sweetheart, I'm not having any more babies" Michaela held her hand out, encouraging her little girl to approach her, the little girl skipped into her arms, and tightly wrapped her arms around her mother's legs. Michaela shifted slightly as she felt the corner of a book pressed firmly into her thigh. "What's this?" she gently pulled the book from her daughter's short fingers.

"Wead me puhlease" Katie requested.

Michaela studied her daughter's choice, one of her medical texts "I think this is a little old for you Katie"

"It got pictures" Katie explained her reason for her choice.

Michaela smiled "Anatomy charts, no pictures. I know how would you like to read the book that your Grandma got you for your birthday" Katie nodded her head excitedly she grabbed her mother's hand and dragged Michaela into the lounge.

Michaela smiled as she felt her mood wane, her daughter's excitement rubbing off on her and pushing her negativity away. She raised her arms and lifted down the box that contained the beautiful book that her mother had given Katie, a book that was so stunning and no doubt ridiculously expensive it felt criminal letting her little girl near it. Michaela gingerly held the book, wanting to preserve and protect it from fingers that seemed to get sticky no matter how much she wiped them. The book's covers were a rich terracotta cloth, carefully and painstakingly embossed with an intricate border. In the centre was a stunning colour plate of a little girl sweeping next to a rooster, and inside there were six further exquisite colour plates

"Mama" Katie settled herself in one of the armchairs, "Wead the one next to the picture of the man on da bird" she giggled slightly.

Michaela settled herself in the chair opposite Katie, opening the book she quickly found the story that Katie was requesting and began to read. Almost immediately the sound of Esmee wailing from her crib could be heard from upstairs. Michaela paused and glanced towards the stairs but forced herself to turn back to the book determined to give Katie the quality time she deserved. She managed to read two sentences more before Esmee's wailing turned into full blown crying.

Katie slammed her little hands against her ears "Eserme loud Mama"

"She is" Michaela agreed.

Katie slithered out of her chair and trotted over to her, sweetly she patted Michaela's knee "Sawlright Mama" the little girl imitating her father's inflection perfectly "You wead me later. Esmee need you"

Michaela put the book to one side and lifted the precious little girl onto her knee; she wrapped her arms around the child, holding her tightly while she pressed her lips against Katie's soft hair. After a moment she straightened out "You are the sweetest little girl"

"I big sistah" Katie shrugged "I got look after her and I know she needs Mama" Katie turned her head and quickly pecked Michaela on the cheek, "Wove you Mama" she slipped off Michaela's knee and gave her a beaming smile "I gonna be bestest big sistah"

* * *

Sully watched his wife curiously as she went about cleaning up after dinner, she had been almost silent during dinner, only conversing with Katie trying to coax the little girl to eat some food, despite the fact the little girl was so obviously clued in on something being wrong she wasn't eating a scrap. Any time he had tried to speak to Michaela she had responded in one word monosyllabic answers, and as much as he knew that she was upset with the whole job offer her reaction was now beginning to border on extreme.

"Caela" he approached her gently, wrapping her arms around her waist. She flinched instantly at his touch "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" she shrugged out of his grip and busied herself further with tidying up the kitchen.

"Well that ain't the truth" he muttered caustically, he was getting sick of her being so closed off with him, shying away from his touch, he knew she was probably not ready for the kind of intimate contact he was, but any kind of contact? She had been hesitant before but since the job offer it had been almost nonexistent.

"Of course it is" she dismissed plunging her hands into the soapy water so that she could wash up.

"Ya hardly speaking to me…" he paused as she flashed him a look with hurt filled eyes "Caela please? I don't have to take the job if that's what it is. I'll wire them tell them something has come up"

"Don't do that" Michaela whispered "We need the money"

"Then what?" Sully reached to hold her shoulder, turning her to look at him. "Come on talk to me, we don't talk anymore"

"We do" she responded indignantly

"Michaela all we ever talk about is the kids, we don't just talk" Sully pointed out

"Well I don't have anything to just talk about, My world has been our children, I haven't exactly been a social butterfly the past few weeks" she turned her head away from him "All I have to talk about is our children"

"So maybe you should get out for a bit" Sully tried to turn her head back, a thought struck him "Is that why you want me to take the job?"

"What?" she looked at him puzzled

"So that you won't bore me, is that what you think you do?" Sully moved his arm to slide down her waist, she flinched out of his reach again "And why do you keep doing that?" he caught her hurt look again "Michaela, I want you to tell me what is wrong,"

"I…" she stopped clearly unable to find the words to express the turmoil of thoughts going round in her head. "I have to check on Katie"

"No ya don't" Sully took a step towards her again, trying to hold her in place "Caela is this because you think I want to be intimate? I can wait, I'll wait for as long as ya need"

"As long as I need" she repeated slowly, taking a step back away from him "You don't have too, I know you've seen, I know it disgusts you"

"Disgusts me?" Sully stared at her in confusion "How could you ever disgust me? What am I supposed to have seen?" She looked down seemingly at the floor "Michaela"

"My body" she whispered almost inaudibly, the sound of wailing filtered down from above and she used the distraction to get away, moving up the stairs before he had a chance to stop her.

He stared at the place that her distraught face had just been, his eyes glazing over as he processed what he had just heard. His mind ran through every little nuance she had carried out for the past few days, her refusal to be held round the middle, how she didn't curl into him and now he was leaving and she in her endearingly sweet insecure way she had put 2 and 2 together and made 5.

* * *

He waited a good twenty minutes before he ventured up to the bedroom, giving her time to sort the baby out and anything else she may want to do. As he had expected she had gone to bed, the covers pulled up tight around her neck. Tenderly he brushed her hair away from her face as he knelt beside the bed "I want you to show me why I'm supposed to be disgusted by you" he whispered softly to her.

Slowly she opened her eyes, the deep pools tinged with uncertainty "Sully" she whispered trying to dismiss him.

"Don't Sully me" he pressed "I wanna know why my amazing wife thinks I should be disgusted by her" she stared silently back at him "Caela, I wanna know why the most beautiful woman in existence..."

"I'm not beautiful" Michaela interrupted him; she blinked forcing back her tears.

"Course ya are" Sully leant forward and kissed her gently "that heart and soul of yours are the most beautiful things in the world" he kissed her softly again. "The only reason I am taking this job is because I want to provide for you and my son and daughters, I want ta provide for the family we made together"

Michaela started to cry, full heavy tears spilling down her cheeks, she turned her face into the mattress to hide her reddening face but he gently lifted her up, her slender again body light in his arms as he pulled her into a seated position. "Michaela, please, please show me, show me what's bothering you so much" Holding her shoulder he could feel she had lost that residual softness that had encompassed her entire body before and after Esmee's birth. With Michaela not nestling into him so much, he'd not noticed how much she had shrunk by, especially as visually due to her large bust she still looked big.

"I...I can't" she whimpered her eyes falling downwards.

"Is it you middle" he held her firm "Is that why you don't like me touching you, is that why ya flinch?" One of his hands moved down to trace her abdomen. She flinched again, moving to stand, Sully caught her by the hips holding her beside him "Caela show me"

"I..." she sighed and inclined her head indicating to him that she would allow him to look at her middle.

Sully removed one of his hands and made quick work of undoing the buttons. Cautiously he opened her shift. He frowned, where her once flat abdomen had been there was now a pooch of wrinkled, sagging stretch marked flesh. Worryingly he could feel her trembling beneath his touch, his wife evidently so terrified of what he might think of her.

"Michaela why would I be disgusted by this?" he asked her gently

"Sully look at it"

Sully looked back at her middle "Does is it hurt ya?"

"No" she looked down at him in confusion.

"Then it don't bother me" he shrugged "This here" he reached his hand out tentatively to touch her skin "shows me how much you have given me, it'sa reminder of what ya went through to give me two of the things I treasure most in the world. Itsa reminder that you carried our beautiful babies inside of you and how hard ya worked, what ya put ya body through. It's there because ya love me. How can I be disgusted by that?" he released her no longer trembling hip and leant forward kissing her bare skin just above her navel.

"Sully" she whispered through tears.

She dropped to her knees surprising Sully with the suddenness; she shone him that stunning smile of hers and leant forward kissing him with the fierce passion that had been missing from her lips since the birth of their daughter. Sully reciprocated his hand moving to hold the back of her head, holding her gently within his reach so he could taste her. Their kiss lasted for minutes though to them it felt like mere moments. As they broke apart Michaela smiled at him coyly, a weight lifted from her as she realised she was still desirable to her beloved husband, slowly she moved her hands to undo the last of her remaining buttons. Sully smiled and softly pushed back the garment from her shoulders revealing her body to him in all its glory.

* * *

Sully grinned as he wiped down his chest, bemused but not bothered by the interesting phenomenon of his wife's breasts leaking during their intimate reintroduction to marital enthusiasm. Michaela was blushing, equally surprised as he was about what had happened but seemingly unconcerned, content in the knowledge that her husband was enthralled by her, his actions of the past ten minutes speaking to her more than words could as they had joined together as man and wife, their love expressed in joyous waves.

Both of their heads turned as Esmee cooed at them, attracted by the scent of her spilt food. Michaela smiled she leaned into her husband, resting her chin on his shoulder her lips moving to his ear "Are you done with me?"

"Never!" he traced his hand round her bare back "But I'll let Dancer have you for a moment"

Michaela smiled, she moved over to the cot, collecting her youngest child and returning to the bed to share another naked embrace. Sitting between his widespread legs, she leant back, her bare back resting against his glistening torso; Sully lowered his lips tentatively nipping at her neck with sweet little kisses as she raised the baby to her breast. Esmee latched on instantly and Michaela gasped as her husband's kisses became stronger and more passionate, she inhaled sharply as he found the most tender part of her sun kissed skin his lips working wonders on the tiny patch of sensitive skin in the curve of her neck

"Sully" she breathed heavily, a battle of wills running through her body between her maternal instincts and the need she felt to turn and take her husband again.

Sully eased off, knowing that with the baby in her arms she could not cope with what he was doing. Instead he moved his arms to wrap around her and support the baby allowing her to lower one of her arms and languidly stroke his leg. He rested his chin on her shoulder, her own head drooping back to rest against his, her eyes closed in contentment, her skin shining with the afterglow of their union, her body almost spent from their actions.

Soon the baby had had her fill and Sully coaxed Esmee from Michaela's arms, returning his 8 week old daughter to her cot. He turned and grinned at his wife, taking in her wondrous shape as she reclined on her arms. He could tell she was exhausted, her body tired from her lack of sleep and running around after the children, and he knew that the magical experience they had just gone through together had finished her for the night, but she was still there smiling at him, her body positioned so suggestively that it almost begged to be taken. He forced down the primal urge that coursed through him as he stared at her stunning form. He crossed to the bed, sinking beside her and entwining his legs with hers, his strong arms cradling her as they basked in each other's warmth. He smiled as her lips began to trail across his jaw line, her sensuality reawakened after month's hibernation, her passion reignited, their reunion fulfilling both of them in ways that only their hearts could process.

* * *

"Mama"

Michaela stirred as she felt Katie patting her arm.

"Mama"

Michaela's eyes snapped open as she remembered she had fallen asleep naked in Sully's arms. She felt Sully awaken at the sound of Katie's voice, his arm moving to protect her modesty, his other pulling the unused cover over their lower halves.

"Mama" the little girl repeated again, her voice sad.

Michaela's eyes came into focus and she stared at her blonde haired angel, the little girl's hair mussed with sleep. Katie was chewing on her right forefinger clearly upset about something, Michaela peered at the clock, her eyes telling her what her body already knew that it was almost 3am. "Did you have a bad dream sweetheart?" she asked her teary eyed daughter.

Katie shook her head, and looked embarrassed at the floor "I goed in bed" she whispered quietly her voice laden with humiliation.

Michaela's eyes trailed down the little girl's nightdress and noted the wet patch on the front, she sighed, "Oh Dear" she forced herself to sound chipper to buoy Katie, who was so clearly mortified.

"I sowwy" Katie apologised whole heartedly, her face blushed red.

"It's alright" Michaela assured her "Let's go get you all clean and tidy"

"I got it" Sully whispered, his breathe warm against Michaela's ear. "Go on Katie I'll be in in a minute"

"Kay" Katie whispered softly, her head hanging dejectedly as she walked slowly from the room.

Sully ran his lips along Michaela's cheek "morning beautiful" he smiled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, clambering over her and grabbing a towel from the top of the dresser and wrapping it around his waist.

He quickly padded along to Katie's room where he found his little girl standing sadly beside her bed, her top sheet and quilt thrown back a large circle of damp in the middle of her bottom sheet.

"I sowwy" Katie repeated again.

"Salright" Sully smoothed her hair, "These things happen" He quickly checked the top sheet and finding it dry set about removing the soiled sheet from the mattress "You go change ya nightie" he urged the little girl.

He sighed as he felt the mattress beneath was wet, knowing that it meant that it too would need to be washed and dried before the child could sleep in it. He held his hand out to Katie, "Think ya gonna need to come in with us Katie girl"

"Weally?" Katie looked at him, surprised that she should be getting a reward even though she had done something wrong "But I bad"

"Ya ain't bad, it was an accident" Sully pointed out. He quickly cleaned his daughter before lifted the little girl into his arms and carried her back to his bedroom. As expected Michaela had now dressed in her nightgown and was sat waiting for him.

"Lo Mama" Katie greeted her as Sully carried her in "Papa say I sweep with you"

"He did" Michaela smiled, holding out her arms to take her daughter

"Her mattress is all wet" Sully explained lowering the little girl into her mother's arms.

"It axeeeden" Katie attempted to repeat what her father had just told her.

"I know sweetheart" Michaela kissed her "It happens sometimes"

"To you?" Katie sought assurance from the person she looked up to most in the world.

Michaela smiled knowingly at Sully "Yes sweetheart even me"

"Oh" Katie leant into Michaela, her head resting on her mother's shoulder, as she sleepily chewed on her finger again "I stilw sowwy dough"

"I know" Michaela kissed her softly "Lie down, let's get some sleep"

Katie slid from her lap and nestled down between her two parents, Sully moved his arm so he could cradle the child and touch his beloved wife. Michaela smiled at him and slid down the mattress her hand moving to soothingly stroke Katie's chest "Sweetheart if you need to go again..."

"I wake Papa up" Katie told her with a small smile "Love you Mama, Love you Papa"

"Love you too Katie girl" Sully kissed her head.

The family closed their eyes eager to get some sleep again. After only a few minutes Michaela opened her eyes, the sound of Esmee moving about more, alerting her to the baby's need for nourishment. She raised herself from the bed and moved over to the cot, smiling lovingly at her baby. Wordlessly she lifted the infant and crossed back to the bed, positioning herself in a comfortable postuion. Sully crept his arm round to support the baby, he leaned in to kiss Michaela, his blue eyes tear filled. "This is what I'll miss" he whispered softly "holding my girls"

Michaela sighed, "You always hold us Sully" she placed her hand over his heart with tender touch, "in here"

Sully nuzzled her neck "Four weeks is gonna feel like eternity"

"I know" she lovingly stroked his cheek "but we'll be right here waiting for you"

* * *

"Loren" Sully nodded a greeting to the shopkeeper as he strolled into the mercantile.

Loren looked up from his ledger "Sully" he nodded back in reply "You off?" he asked his former son in law, noting the pack and bedroll that Sully was carrying.

"Yeah" Sully sighed slightly "Michaela's just getting me some bandages and bits for me to take" he grinned "Just in case, ya know"

Loren chuckled "Women always fuss, that's a fact that ain't never gonna change" he laughed and closed his ledger "Did ya need anything?"

"Yeah" Sully checked over his shoulder to see if any of his family was about "Brian's gonna be running things up at the house, and Michaela is back ta work in 3 weeks..."

"Sure thing Sully" Loren interrupted him.

"It's just with the kids I don't want her to push herself" Sully continued despite Loren's assurance "I don't want her to think I asked ya"

Loren smiled wryly "I woulda been doin it anyway" He shrugged "besides I think Dorothy and Grace have already got some kind ah rota planned for checking up on Dr Mike and the kids"

Sully nodded his head with a smile, genuinely touched that his friends had already gone to the effort of arranging how to look after Michaela in his absence. "Thanks Loren"

"Ahh it's not a bother" Loren dismissed him "Do ya need anything else, got some jerky" the store keeper asked, never one to miss a sale.

"Have you got any of that white candy that Brian likes?" Sully asked casting his eyes over Loren's candy display.

"Taffy" Loren chuckled "Sure I got taffy. One of my most popular items" he bustled round the counter and grabbed a jar "here ya are taffy. How much do ya want?"

"Just a couple o' pieces" Sully requested.

"Couple o' pieces? Brian'll go through a couple o' pieces like that" Loren clicked his fingers to emphasise his point

Sully looked sheepishly at the counter, his thumb twirling over a whorl in the polished counter "Ain't for Brian"

Loren snorted with laughter and poured out a few pieces of the candy into the brown paper "Don't know who's getting more like who, Brian like you or you like Brian" he handed the packet to Sully "You're a good Pa to that lad"

Sully smiled proudly "Thanks"

"Papa" Katie bounded into the store, her brown eyes instantly falling on the candy jar on the counter. "Hello Misser Bwray"

"Hello Katie girl" Loren greeted her, reaching his hand into the jar and holding out a piece of taffy to the 3 year old.

Katie grinned at him "Tanks" she quickly took the sweet treat and shoved it in her mouth before anyone had a chance to stop her.

"Did you cross the street by yaself?" Sully asked when Michaela did not enter the store immediately after their daughter.  
"See outside, Miss Carmen and Misses Bwrown wanned to look at Esmee" The little girl pointed out the doorway.

"You have a good trip lad" Loren called as he moved to put the jar away, he offered Sully a wink, cementing what they had agreed.

With a nod to the shopkeeper Sully exited the store, taking Katie's hand he moved to stand silently next to his wife as she proudly showed off their youngest to a small crowd of older female townsfolk, all of whom were cooing and babbling to the bemused looking baby in the sling that Michaela wore round her shoulder.

"Papa" Katie dangled forward on their joined arm, swivelling slightly so that she was half in front of him looking up. "When back?"

"I'll be back on the 8th August, about four weeks time"

"How long 4 weeks?"

"Er" Sully pondered the question "Well 4 weeks is about a month"

"A MONTH" Katie bellowed, she straightened up "Papa dat ages" her lower lip trembled.

Sully crouched down beside his blonde haired daughter, and brushed a stray strand of her white gold hair out of her face, smiling at her quelling her tears before they had even begun "Papa what I do if I need you" Katie reached her arms around her father's neck hugging him tightly.

Sully gently pushed Katie away from him so that he could see her face "If you need me you just go give ya Ma a big hug"

"Why?" Katie chewed on her lip thoughtfully as she stared into her father's big blue eyes.

"Coz I gave all my love to ya Ma and that way you can have some too" Sully whispered, he lent forward and kissed the little girl on each of her cheeks and rising slightly her forehead . He straightened and caught his wife's misty eyed gaze. The other woman had disappeared obviously noting what was happening, leaving the family alone as their time of separation approached.

"Train's here Pa" Brian told him pointing up the street to the idling engine "Why don't I take the girl's so you and Ma can say goodbye"

"Thanks Brian" Sully extended his arm, seizing his son's forearm and pulling the boy in for a warm hug.

"I'll take care of them" Brian promised his father with a whisper.

"I know you will" Sully patted Brian's back, feeling like he was watching a boy become a man before his eyes. He released his son and turned back to Katie picking the little girl up and squeezing her tightly "I love you Katie girl" he whispered as he kissed her softly.

"I love you too Papa" Katie kissed Sully "I be good an I look aftah Esmee an I hug Mama lots" she promised.

Sully kissed her again and placed her down on the dirt street pushing her towards her older brother, finally he turned to his youngest child, lifting the chubby baby from the sling. He smiled prompting the same expression from the nine week old infant, her mouth pulling wide before pursing slightly as she cooed and gurgled at him "I'm gonna miss you" Sully whispered softly, he kissed her chubby cheek "You go easy on ya Ma for me Ok" he took a step towards Brain and Katie intent on handing the baby over but paused, he raised his arms, kissing his precious daughter one last time before handing her over to Brian.

He turned and self consciously wiped a tear from his eye. Sniffing back the tears that threatened to spill he looped his arm around Michaela's back and walked a few paces from the children. "We have to do this here" he whispered as he stepped round to face her. "If ya come to the station I won't be able to leave," he kissed her tenderly on the cheek before his lips trailed down and found hers for a passionate clinch. They broke apart and he held her tightly as she got her breath back. "This is gonna feel like eternity"

Michaela nodded in agreement "I know" she whispered her voice filled with sadness "but remember we're always with you" she kissed him again "and if I've got all your love I know I can make it through"

"Good" Sully kissed her again before the train whistle forced him to look towards the station.

Michaela seized his arms holding him back from running to catch his train "Remember you've always got me" she pressed her hand against his chest, her palm pressed firmly over his heart "I'm always here"


	19. Reflections

_And so the final chapter of the series is up. I will be posting the season 8 story continuing from this the beginning of December so you won't have a huge amount of time to wait. Thank you so much to those who have been reading, I would love to hear what you guys thought of the whole thing in general, as well as this last chapter. *wink* Seriously I do appreciate all the time that you readers would have spent on this as I know it is a bit of an epic length. But for now until December I wish you goodbye, thank you for tuning in each week and I hope you enjoy_

_Kate_

_x_

_

* * *

_

Reflections

Michaela sighed as Esmee started to wail again, it was only 30 minutes since the last time she had cried, barely time for the lady doctor to close her eyes. The baby was hungry she knew that, but she didn't know what she could do, the last couple of days the baby had been fussing at her breast, not taking much milk down, and when she had tried Esmee on the prepared infant food the baby had spit it up. Exhausted Michaela sat up, it felt like she had a newborn again, not a baby who was just shy of 13 weeks old.

"Come on sweetheart" Michaela cooed to the baby as she fought her frustration "It's OK" she moved to the crib and lifted the baby out before moving to the rocker and sitting in it. Expertly she positioned the baby and waited for the baby to latch on, the baby did so and took a few hungry gulps before releasing her grip on her mother and began crying afresh. Michaela thrust her head back against the wooden chair almost with defeat, she was exhausted, and the pain from her overfull breasts was unbearable and making her feel nauseous. Remembering through her sleep deprived brain that Esmee's needs came before her own she straightened her head and tried repositioning the baby on her other breast. As before the baby latched on only to take a few gulps and then began crying afresh. "Come on Esmee, please sweetheart" Michaela begged her daughter. She felt like crying, her insecurities about being an unfit mother surfacing, as all of a sudden her thriving little girl was now not, the baby beginning to show signs that she was becoming dehydrated, Michaela had tried everything that her motherly instincts and her medical knowledge told her to attempt but there was still something amiss something she needed to do, something she needed to try she just didn't know what. All she knew was that she needed Sully but she still had three days before his return from his surveying job, an interminable length of time that seemed to stretch on into the distant horizon. She wasn't certain what was causing Esmee to fuss as she was; the only plausible explanation Michaela could come up with was that the stress of returning to work and Sully being away had perhaps changed her milk in a way that Esmee did not find palatable.

She looked up as there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in" she whispered positioning her nightgown to cover herself.

Brian peered his head round the door; his eyes still sleep laden "Hey Ma, I made some prepared food"

"She won't take it" Michaela sighed, her frustration ringing in her voice that was tinged with worry "She threw it up last time"

Brian took a step into the room and deftly took the baby from the exhausted woman, "She just ate too fast last time." He tried to soothe his Ma, "I warmed it this time." He smiled and positioned the teat of the bottle at his little sister's mouth, holding it in a way that she could take a steady flow down but he could control the rate. The baby took the rubber teat into her mouth and began to suck greedily. "It's alright Ma" he tried to comfort Michaela as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"You better sit here" Michaela stood to allow her son to have the rocker. As she became upright, the room swam before her eyes. She lurched but managed to find the stone of the fireplace before she fell.

"MA!" Brian took a step towards her, but with the baby in his arms he had no way of helping her.

"I'm just tired" Michaela blinked several times as her eyes came into focus "I stood up too quickly"

"You sure?" Brian watched her nervously as Michaela released her iron like grip on the stone and took a few staggering steps to the bed. He frowned as he watched her flop into bed, his usually ladylike mother suddenly sprawling into the bed. His frown deepened as she seemed to fall asleep almost instantaneously. Yawning he finished feeding the now content Esmee, her little tummy full. He sighed and smiled at the little girl, before bringing her up to his shoulder to wind. After a petite burp he lowered her back down, glancing at the clock he noted the time, 1.45am, he knew that his sister operated on a roughly 3 hour schedule for feeding, and while her normal feeding would have been at midnight, he knew with the little she had had to eat today she could wake up at 3am as usual or she could wait for another 3 hours and want to be fed at 4.45. He returned his gaze to his mother in the bed, her face grey from tiredness and worry, her body still, save for the slight rise and fall of her chest.

"Looks like you're in with me" Brian whispered to Esmee, he quickly picked up the lightweight wicker basket that his Ma used for stowing Esmee when she needed her hands to do chores around the house, and crept out, hoping that if he took Esmee his Ma could get some much needed rest.

* * *

Michaela paused as she felt a wave of nausea pass over her, she was used to being exhausted but it had been during her college days when she worked a 3 day shift that she had felt physically sick with it. If it wasn't for the fact that she had patients scheduled for the day she would have quite happily not come into work and stayed in bed. Yet even though she had valiantly fought her way in today, she had been late which had put her behind, and would now meant her entire schedule was off.

She was so thankful to Brian, who had not only taken the baby in the middle of the night, and gotten her to feed regularly on the infant food, but who had also got both the girls up and ready and was now sat upstairs with them keeping them occupied while she worked.

She took a tentative sip of water and swallowed, trying to wash the metallic taste from her mouth that had sprung up seemingly overnight, a taste which was not helping her nausea one bit. Glancing at the clock she knew her next patient was waiting and had probably been waiting a fair while. She gave her aching temples a quick massage before she hauled herself to her feet and crossed to the doorway. She seized the brass door handle and forced a smile onto her face before opening the door. As she stepped out into the August heat a wash of fear passed over her, the type of feeling she got when something bad was about to happen, immediately her eyes flicked to stare at the ceiling as if her eyes could burrow through the wood and see her children in the upstairs floor, the next second her mind flitted onto her concern for Sully. Before she had a chance to excuse herself the sound of stampeding horses filtered into the air. Nervously she peered around the clinic's stone wall. A large wagon was steaming down the street, driverless, the horses running wild. Townsfolk began jumping out of the way but Michaela could see it, see what was about to happen before it happened, but her vocal chords were frozen, her mind not able to form the words needed to warn Carmen as the small woman stepped out of the alleyway between the gazette and the clinic, the old lady oblivious to the danger that was approaching her. The horses charged on and Michaela watched almost in slow motion as the tiny old lady was clipped by the jack knifing wagon, her frail body soaring into the air, arching in a nauseating aerobatic display before slamming heavily into the ground outside the Gold Nugget with a sickening crunch.

The second the horses had passed her Michaela rushed from the safety of the clinic, darting across the street to where Carmen lay some twenty feet from where she had been struck by the wagon. Hank was already outside on the ground checking for any sign of life. Michaela dropped to her knees assessing the woman's condition before her joints even touched the dirt.

"She's still alive" Hank assured her "Do you want me to lift her"

"NO!" Michaela yelled at him, stopping his hands from touching the woman "She could have broken her spine, we could exacerbate any injuries if we move her incorrectly" Michaela took a sharp intake of breath as she felt nausea rise again. She wobbled as she tried to focus on the injured woman, her head spinning.

"You Ok?" Hank asked her with concern, reaching out and holding her shoulders to stop Michaela from slumping over.

"Yes I'm fine" Michaela took a deep calming breath "I haven't been sleeping all the well, Esmee has been somewhat demanding" she forced herself to smile "We'll need a board to move her"

"Got it" Hank scrambled to his feet "JAKE" he yelled at the barber who along with the rest of the town had come out to watch the drama unfold "I need the lid from the coffin ya got today." He ran off leaving Michaela to assess Carmen's injuries. The woman was unconscious, which could either be a blessing or a curse. She definitely had a broken wrist and had a rising bump on her forehead and no doubt some broken ribs from where she was struck by the vehicle, Michaela refused to believe that the revolting crunch had been from the wrist, but she could not examine Carmen properly until she was in the clinic or move her until she had appropriate support.

"This do" Hank asked running back with a coffin lid in his hand. Hastily he threw his half smoked cigar into the water trough, now he knew that the old woman was alive, reluctant to smoke all over her. "GIVE US A HAND" he bellowed in the direction of a group of bystanders.

"Place it against her back" Michaela ordered the man; she moved her hands to support Carmen's head and neck, looking up at the small crowd who had come to help, "We need to roll her gently"

The group under her guidance did as they were told carefully manoeuvring the woman to lie flat on her back on the coffin lid. The four men quickly bent down and picked up the impromptu stretcher carrying it as quickly as they dared to the clinic so that Michaela could do her work.

* * *

Michaela slumped exhausted into her desk chair, she had fully assessed and treated Carmen's obvious injuries, and while it did not appear that the woman had a spinal injury or internal bleeding, as she was still unconscious all Michaela could do was wait until Carmen was awake before she could do a neurological exam and assess if there was any damage. In a way Carmen had been incredibly lucky, as the initial blow from the wagon had knocked her unconscious so she had been limp when she fell and so her injuries had not been as severe as they could have been, just the initial injuries that Michaela had observed when she had assessed Carmen on the street.

She looked up at the sound of the bell ringing her name filtered through the wood, spoken with Grace's melodious voice, "Come in" she smiled as Grace walked in baring a tureen of soup, relieved that it was her friend and not the few of her patients who insisted on waiting until she was free.

"I figured you wouldn't get a chance to get some lunch taday" Grace explained with a smile, her smile wavered as she took in the paleness of Michaela's skin "Dr Mike, you look like you could sleep for a year, you feeling alright?"

Michaela sighed as she rubbed the side of her face "Oh I'm fine, just tired,"

"Esmee" Grace surmised as she set the soup on Michaela's desk.

"Yes" Michaela smiled slightly, despite the discomfort and frustration her little one had caused her the last few days her heart almost overflowing as the sound of her daughter's name, the thought of her face "I'm afraid she's not been feeding all that well, so therefore neither of us has been sleeping"

"Oh I know about that" Grace grimaced good naturedly "I thought I'd try my Freddie on solid food, now he only wants me at night, I thought I was gonna explode those first few days" she glanced at the still form of Carmen "She gonna be OK?"  
Michaela shrugged "I'm not certain, she took quite a knock. I have to wait for her to wake up now" She moved to get up, as she did she felt like the blood drained from her head, Michaela swayed and grabbed for the table.

Grace was at her side in an instant, wrapping her arms around her stricken friend's waist, she eased Michaela back into the chair. Crouching in front of her friend she studied Michaela's pale face.

"I'm alright" Michaela whispered weakly.

"You need to be in bed" Grace told her gently "Even I can tell that"

"I have to watch Carmen, and..." Michaela tried to protest.

"I can get someone to watch Carmen" Grace comfortingly rubbed Michaela's arm. "We'll get rid of those patients, Dorothy and I will help Brian with the girls, and you can get some rest"

"I..." Michaela tried again, a wave of nausea washed over her and she bent over sticking her head between her knees, breathing through pursed lips as she tried to keep hold of the contents of her stomach.

"You are no good to anyone sick Dr Mike" Grace switched to stroking Michaela's back; she grimaced as Michaela dry heaved. "No arguing Michaela, you need to be in bed" she leaned back as Michaela sat upright. "Maybe this is why Esmee ain't been feeding"

"Maybe" Michaela agreed weakly "but I can't leave Carmen lying on the examination table"

Grace smiled at her friend's endearing nature of putting everyone else before herself "I'll get Robert E and some of the men to move her upstairs, they'll be real careful" she put her arms around Michaela "Now I am getting you upstairs"

"You don't need to help me" Michaela whispered, struggling for balance even with Grace's assistance.

"I am not having you passing out on the stairs on my conscience" Grace guided Michaela to the internal door of the clinic. "We'll get you upstairs and into one of those beds, and you can have a well earned nap"

* * *

Katie peered at the old woman curious about the large egg sized bruise on her forehead, a huge lump of purple and blue.

"Katie" Brian cautioned his little sister. Katie looked sheepishly at him; she rocked back on her heels and bit her lip. "Come here" Katie did as she was told and scampered over to her older brother; sweetly she hugged his knee and then giggled at her little sister and blew a raspberry. Brian grinned at his sister and bounced his youngest sister on his knee, getting Esmee to smile. With his Ma asleep in the other room and the person who had been watching Carmen needing to use the privy he had been forced to move his two sisters into the room to watch the seemingly sleeping woman.

"What is it?" Katie returned her attention to the curious bump on Carmen's forehead.

"It's a bruise," Brian explained to his little sister, "It shows Ma where Miss Carmen is hurt"

Katie opened her mouth to respond to her brother, when her little sister made a wet trumpeting sound, Brian grimaced as he felt the force of his sister's bowel movement. Wishing he could do as Katie had and slam his hand over his mouth he stood up so the wetness did not permeate through the diaper and into his clothes. "Woah Es!" Brian gagged slightly at the smell. "Katie can you go get..." he didn't need to finish the request for the diapering tools because Katie was already running from the room. He moved to the doors to the outside, throwing them open to the afternoon air trying to get the awful smell to filter away. As he did he caught the sight of movement on the bed. Momentarily forgetting his sister's diaper disaster he rushed to Carmen's side "Hey" he whispered gently as the old woman's eyelids fluttered opened.

"Hey" she croaked back, a wide smile pulling across bruised face.

"You got hit by a wagon" Brian explained her current predicament, "No, don't move" he stopped her from trying to sit up, "I'll get Dr Mike" he moved towards the door.

"No" Carmen called out to him "Leave her" Brian looked uncertain "We'll be fine" Carmen soothed him.

"She just filled her diaper" Brian reasoned

Carmen laughed slightly, before wincing at the pain in her head "Mothers don't mind that"

Brian frowned slightly at her comment thinking it a bit odd, but shrugged it off as he remembered he had met her granddaughter a long time ago when he had been little "Ok, but I'll be back in a minute, I'll just get Dr Mike" he positioned Esmee into Carmen's arms, the baby seemingly completely content despite the mess she had just made.

He left quickly only to find his Ma just outside the door, "Hey Ma" he greeted the bleary eyes woman, "Katie did you wake her up?" he chastised his sister.

Katie folded her arms defiantly "Bwrian Esmee's bottom expoded, I thinked she needed a doctor, and Mama best doctor in da world"

Michaela smiled weakly and wiped her face with her hand trying to wipe away the residual tiredness she still felt even though she had just slept for almost three hours, noticing her son's empty arms she frowned "Where's Esmee?"

Brian grinned "With Carmen, she just woke up"

The doctor part of Michaela's brain took over and she pushed her own wellbeing to one side and rushed into the recovery room, she smiled at the sight of Carmen playing happily with Esmee, even with two bandaged hands. "Carmen" she greeted the woman softly so not to startle her "How are you feeling?"

"I'm well thank you Nurse," Carmen responded with a smile

Michaela frowned "I beg your pardon?" she took a step closer to the bed, pleased that Brian was moving in to take Esmee, the expression on his face matching her own.

"I'm alright" Carmen repeated "Just a bit sore, though I'm sure that Dr Mike can fix me up"

"Carmen, I _am_ Dr Mike" Michaela told the injured woman, noting that the woman seemed to show no familiarity to her.

"But you're a woman!" Carmen exclaimed with surprise

Michaela forced her face to remain impassive "Brian can you take Esmee and get her cleaned up"

"Sure thing" Brian quickly collected the baby and rushed out.

"He's so good to me" Carmen sighed, her face switched to uncertainty "Are you sure you're a doctor?"

"Yes" Michaela lowered herself onto the bed, she stared into Carmen's eyes trying to see if her pupils were equal, finding that they were and deciding that while Carmen's mental status seemed altered that it would be best to play along so not to cause the woman more damage she smiled "I'm Dr Michaela Quinn"

"You're Brian's mother" Carmen suddenly recalled

"Yes" Michaela smiled at her, "Carmen what's the date?"

"It's August something" Carmen frowned "I'm useless with dates"

Michaela smiled "What's the year?"

Carmen laughed slightly "its 1829" she smiled "You've been working too hard, you look tired"

Michaela forced her smile to remain on her face "I am a little tired yes" she took Carmen's less injured hand "Carmen how old are you?"

"I'm nineteen" Carmen smiled at Michaela "I sure do ache. If you are a doctor, can you give me something?"Michaela nodded slowly, trying to run through her head the possible treatment for someone with such an altered mental status, with someone who had such a bad case of amnesia. As she reached the door Carmen called her back. "I remember now its August 5th, am I going to be able to leave for the weekend" Michaela false smile pulled into an inquisitive look, Carmen laughed again "for mine and Brian's anniversary"

"Anniversary" Michaela whispered, she recovered from her surprise "We'll have to see"

"I sure hope so" Carmen smiled pleasantly at Michaela, oblivious to the Doctor's surprise "It's been such a year, we got so much to celebrate"

* * *

"Ya sure it's ok to leave ya?" Brian queried his mother, he frowned as she leant against the internal door of the clinic, obviously still tired, making him want to leave her even less especially considering what she had told him. As much as part of him wanted to get out of the clinic, away from the sixty four year old woman who was now convinced she was married to him, he really didn't want to leave his Ma.

"Brian I'll be fine" Michaela smiled at her concerned son, "I need you to go out to the homestead and get what's on the list" she nodded at the piece of paper in Brian's free hand "and see to the animals.

"We gotta stay here?" Brian looked nervously up the stairs,

"Yes Brian" Michaela held her hands out to take Esmee from his arms, "I know it's uncomfortable for you, but I must stay here tonight"

Brian handed Esmee over and sighed "Alright" he bent down and kissed Esmee before straightening up and kissing his Ma on the cheek "I'll be back later"

Michaela smiled at him and watched as he left the clinic. She turned her attention to her daughter in her arms, the little girl now happy as she had had a full tummy for the whole of the day; she shifted the baby to hold her under the armpits holding Esmee so that the baby was facing her. She smiled as Esmee kicked her dangling legs. "All happy again" she kissed the baby's soft belly and then each of Esmee's chubby cheeks, the baby gurgled with happiness "You're a happy girl aren't you?" Michaela smiled as Esmee gave her a gurgled reply. Michaela blinked rapidly as she felt dizzy again, she lowered Esmee and leant again the wall. Michaela exhaled deeply "I don't think your Mama's up to much though," she told the oblivious baby.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Michaela's head moved as quickly as she could bear it to look up the stairs. Carmen was slowly hobbling down. "Carmen you shouldn't be out of bed"

"What did you mean I'm not up to much?" Carmen scowled as she reached the midpoint on the stairs.

"Pardon?" Michaela frowned; suddenly it struck her what Carmen was implying "No Carmen, Esmee is my daughter"

"No she ain't, she's mine" Carmen hobbled down the last few steps "Give her to me"

"Carmen," Michaela turned her body slightly to put Esmee out of Carmen's reach "I need you to go lie down, you could exacerbate your condition"

"Not until you give me my baby" Carmen took a step closer.

"Esmee is my daughter" Michaela told her again, she pushed the door of the clinic open. Suddenly her head yanked backwards, as Carmen grabbed hold of her long plait. Michaela stumbled, struggling to remain upright while maintaining her grip on her 14 pound daughter. She screamed as Carmen pulled her long hair backwards forcing her to bend over backwards, already unsteady and unstable Carmen's hard push forced her over easily. Michaela stumbled towards the stairs. Carmen grabbed the baby from Michaela's hands causing Michaela to fall completely.

The old woman watched as the female doctor slammed into the staircase. Horrified by what she had just done she raised the baby to her shoulder to soothe Esmee's screams "I'm sorry" Carmen whispered before pivoting and reaching for the door.

"No" Michaela tried to reach out fighting the blackness that threatened to engulf her "Please wait" she tried to speak, but her world collapsed into darkness as she fell unconscious.

* * *

Katie ran to the top of the stairs as she heard her sister's screams disappear into the distance. She gasped as she saw her Ma crumpled in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.

"Silwy girl" she chastised herself for hiding beneath the bed when she heard her Ma scream, eager to make up for what she did wrong Katie ran down the stairs, almost falling in her haste. She jumped over the last two steps landing beside her Ma's prone form. "Mama" Katie shook Michaela roughly by the shoulder trying to wake her "Mama" she tried again. Wiping the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks she tried grabbing her Ma's face, "MAMA" she screamed inches from her Mother's face "MAMA wake up" she begged "Pwease wake up" not getting any response from her mother she ran to the door trying to open it, but it wouldn't budge, the handle jammed somehow. Katie kicked at the wooden door and tried again, as if the force from her little leg would have been enough to make the door open. Frustrated she let out a yell. She pivoted and returned back to her Mother, shaking her by the shoulder again "WAKE UP MAMA" she bellowed at the top of her lungs, every ounce of energy going into her scream to try and rouse her Ma. Her tears rolling down her face a idea appeared through her fear, slipping to the ground alongside Michaela, she wrapped her arms and legs around her Ma as far as she could, hugging her as tightly as she could manage she sent her thought into the open, her little voice following a moment later "Papa I need you"

"KATIE? Angel are you OK?"

Katie sat up at the sound of Dorothy's voice through the door. "Mama not wake up" Katie called out in tears.

"Katie open the door" Dorothy urged

"It not open" Katie hugged her mother again "I twy, it not open" she tightened her grip listening to the commotion outside as Dorothy alerted someone to the plight of Michaela and her daughter. Katie screamed as the glass in the doorway shattered, moments later Hank burst through the door directly followed by Dorothy.

"OH MICHAELA" Dorothy ran to her friend, dropping to her knees and trying to rouse her.

Hank surveyed the scene for a second before stepping forward and lifting the sobbing 3 year old into his arms.

"Mama not wake up" Katie bleated as she burrowed her face into Hank's smoky hair.

"It's alright" Hank muttered, he surveyed the scene before turning and yelling out the door to one of his girls who had followed to watch what was happening "Sade, take my horse go get the doc from the chateau" he noted the hesitance "NOW" his shout served its purpose as the girl scurried off. He tightened his grip on Katie, the little girl's tears increasing as she dealt with the terror of seeing her Ma unconscious on the floor "It's alright short stop" he whispered stroking her hair, "Dorothy's gonna take real good care of ya Ma" he bounced the child, trying to cheer her up "Come on lets go play with your sister, she upstairs?" he frowned as Katie shook her head "Where is she then? Did Brian take her?"

"Fink Carmen taked her" Katie whispered before dissolving into tears again "Want Mama to wake up"

"She will" Hank soothed her wondering why Carmen would take the baby and where on earth she had gone.

* * *

"Hello Miss Carmen" Samantha greeted the old lady as the women stared confused at the train track, she waved from on top of the platform. "Are you feeling better now?" The little girl trotted down the steps of the platform and stood by the track directly opposite from the tiny old woman. "Are you helping Dr Mike by looking after Esmee?" she scowled as the old woman continued to look down at the track "Miss Carmen, it's just the train track"

"I...I need to catch a stage" Carmen mumbled, wincing slightly as Esmee squirmed in her injured arm, jarring her limb and her injured ribs.

"Stage?" Samantha repeated "Oh you mean the red carriage, they only come on Tuesdays and Saturdays. The train will be here in about an hour and a half though" she turned to confirm her timing was right on the board, she smiled at her father as he approached "Isn't that right Papa? the train will arrive in an hour and a half"

"That's right" Horace strode passed his daughter and across the track to stand beside Carmen, "Why don't I take Esmee, you look like you're hurtin" he glanced over his shoulder frowning as he saw a gaggle of people approaching the station, Jake striding angrily at the head. "Come on now Carmen, let me hold her while we wait for the train, OK?" Horace put his hands around Esmee "I'll take real good care of her, I promise" he managed to coax Esmee from her arms just as the gaggle reached the station.

"Grab her" Jake hissed evidently angry.

"Jake she's hurt" Horace reasoned, bouncing the baby to soothe her.

"She hurt Dr Mike" Grace told him as she bounced her winging son on her hip "She's unconscious"

Jake annoyed that no one was following his order seized hold of Carmen's elbow, making the old woman cry out in pain.

"Careful Jake" Robert E cautioned "she ain't right, that blow from the wagon messed up her head, you know Miss Carmen she's a gentle lady"

"She weren't gentle when she hurt Dr Mike" Jake tugged the woman making her stumble.

"No please" Carmen cried out realising he was dragging her away from her child "I need my baby I need her please, let me have my baby"

Jake paused confused by what she was yelling.

"She's sick Jake" Loren reasoned, wringing his hand in nervousness.

Jake frowned torn by what to do, "Fine we'll put her in the jail until James can take a look at her"

"You can't put her in jail" Grace admonished.

"She won't hurt anyone there" Jake reasoned striding off towards the jail dragging the sobbing woman behind him.

"Jake come on now" Robert E followed a pace behind "Let's sit her in the cafe"

"I'm the mayor I say she goes in the jail"

Carmen struggled against Jake's grip "Please no, please, let me speak to Brian, please let me have my baby" suddenly she caught sight of herself in the reflection in the window. She tried to scream but her throat closed up in shock. "I'm old" she whispered, her body sagged as she took in the kindly wrinkled face staring back at her "I don't understand" she managed to whimper.

Jake took the chance to drag the woman into the sheriff's office. He emerged only moments later, he squared his shoulders to the disapproving looks. "What?" he growled "She hurt Dr Mike I'm only doing what's right"

* * *

James looked up from his examination of Michaela as Brian burst breathlessly into the room. "She alright?" the boy asked staring at his still unconscious mother with horror.

James nodded slowly "I believe so, she just appears to have a bump on the head" he smiled kindly at the boy.

"Did she pass out because of what Miss Carmen did?" Brian asked having been filled in by the group of waiting townsfolk outside the clinic door "Or because she was ill?"

"Ill?" James looked up in surprise.

"She's been feeling awful the past few days" Brian informed him, he did a double take as he saw his sister stood beside his Ma's desk "Katie, what are you doing in here?"

"Your sister refuses to leave I said she could stay if she stood quietly over there" he smiled at the blonde haired little girl "oof she's been a perfect angel" he took a step closer to Brian, "Brian can you tell me how she's been ill, it could help me treat her"

"Sure" Brian nodded "She's been real tired, it's mostly down ta Esmee she stopped wanting to nurse, but Ma's been feeling dizzy and sick because she's so tired, it ain't right, but you know Ma..."

"She says she's fine" James finished thoughtfully; he looked back at Michaela, studying her with a clinical eye. "Would you take your sister, while I continue my examination?"

"NO" Katie yellowed, she ran for the examination table and seized her mother's hand "I stay"

Brian moved to be beside his sister, crouching down to her level he smiled at her "Katie we need to let James take care of Ma"

"I need to hug Mama" Katie told him forcefully

Brian smiled "I wanna hug her too, but we can't while she's on the table"

"No" Katie's eyes flared "I need hug Mama, I hug her and Papa will help" she reasoned "When I stuck an door not open, I hugged Mama coz I needed Papa, den Anty Dorwotee an Misser Lawson comed"

Brian smiled at his sister's childlike logic, "Pa needs you to let Dr Caulfield work on Ma" he reached out to pry his sister's hand from their Ma, his skin brushed against his Ma's cool skin.

Katie gave a scream of delight as she felt her mother grip her hand "Mama" she peered at her mother's face.

Michaela's eyes fluttered, her vision swam for a few moments, instinctively she raised her free arm to feel the injury to her head.

James caught her arm forcing her to look at him "Hello Michaela" he spoke softly to her, knowing that there would be a lot of confusion for the lady doctor to process.

Michaela painfully turned her head to look towards her children, drawn by her little girl's touch, she smiled weakly as she took in their worried faces before processing that her youngest was not there, her panic flared, "Esmee" she winced as her panic raised her blood pressure causing her head to hurt more.

"She's outside with Horace" Brian told her, eager to soothe her pain. "She's fine"

"Mama" Katie bleated, lovingly rubbing Michaela's hand against her cheek, "Love you"

"I love you too sweetheart" Michaela whispered in response, she turned her head away from her children as she felt James squeeze her hand to get her attention.

The small man smiled kindly at his colleague "Michaela can the children wait outside for a little while? Brian has filled me in on the symptoms you have been experiencing and I would like to perform a more thorough examination" he raised his eyebrows, hoping she would understand his meaning.

Michaela stared at him with confusion for a few moments before her mind began to clear and she realised what James was implying "Oh" she nodded her head slowly "I think that may be wise"

* * *

Sully peered out of the carriage window as the train left Denver, it had been a tall order getting the job completed early, but he had done it, his eagerness to get home to his family spurring him on. For his efforts he'd been rewarded with a twelve dollar bonus, the twelve dollars had quickly been spent on gifts for his family while he had waited for the train with the majority going on the solid silver bracelet he had purchased and had engraved for Michaela, it had meant an extra 7 hours in Denver, an extra 7 hours away from his family, but he knew the look on Michaela's face would be worth the time. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, something wasn't right though, he could feel it, first of all he thought he was being followed, but then he realised it was the feeling of dread that was following him not a person, he bounced his knee trying to rid himself of his nervousness. He just wished he could find the reason, have a tangible explanation for feeling this way. He'd had a niggling feeling for a few days now but he'd put that down to being uncomfortable and dirty because of the work and sleeping rough. Now that he had managed to get a bath in Denver and had a good night sleep in the boarding house he had stayed at last night, he had been worried when the feeling remained. This was when he was certain that somebody was following him. Perhaps he had been stupid and someone had seen him flash his hard earned cash, but once he'd got through the bustle of the Denver train station, the only other person on the train was a business man who was intent on reading his paper and didn't seem to even register that Sully was there.

Sully just hoped that the feeling of dread had nothing to do with Michaela or the kids; it pained him that he hadn't been able to contact them as he'd mapped the large swath of land for the government, a month was such a long time!

He drew one of his feet up to rest on the bench seat, and moved his arm to rest on his knee, allowing him to place his chin on the smooth muscle of his forearm. He sighed as he returned his thoughts to wondering about his family, just as he had done at the end of each busy day. He wondered how much Esmee would have grown by, if she still had her hair, if she would recognise him. He hoped she did just as he hoped Katie was still her sweet inquisitive self, and Michaela had not pushed herself to hard, though he knew that the latter was probably a given. She would have been back to work for a week, and he knew Michaela would be exhausted, he smiled, as much as he hated it when she pushed herself, he loved how it meant he got to take care of her. With the weekend just round the corner, he could pamper his wife, hold her, hopefully more, take care of the beautiful woman who had given him so much. His eyes flicked back to the window, taking in the buildings that ran along the track as the train exited the city, soon he would be looking out on open countryside and then he would see the town he called his home, and he would be a few short miles away from his homestead, he would be home by seven thirty, he would get to put his girls to bed, and then finally sleep with his wife in his arms.

* * *

Grace watched the sobbing woman through the bars, no amount of convincing could persuade the sheriff to let Carmen out but he had relented and left the two women alone. Carmen was sat crouched in the corner, Michaela's careful bandage work strewn across the cell floor as Carmen had undone the cloth strips to study her wrinkled hands.

Grace couldn't begin to imagine what the poor woman must have running through her mind to think you were one age and then find that you were not and where in fact decades older. She felt no ill will towards the old woman; she knew that what had happened through the bizarre circumstance of what was going through Carmen's mind. Grace knew that the real Carmen, the one who had helped her on occasion in the cafe would never have intentionally hurt Michaela, just as Grace knew that she would have fought tooth and nail if someone had Freddie. She was of course worried for her friend, but no amount of anger towards the confused old lady would change what had happened.

She looked up with a frown half expecting to see the Sherriff or Jake coming back in to send her out, instead she was pleasantly surprised to find the tiny figure of Dr Caulfield scurrying inside. "How's Dr Mike?" Grace asked as he placed his bag on the desk.

James hesitated slightly "She's resting" he smiled "Oof is it necessary for her to be locked up?" he fingered the bars disapprovingly.

Grace pulled a face "That's a question for our Mayor and Sherriff"

"Ahh the authoritarian's will" James frowned and assessed the sobbing woman through the bars. "Has she spoken much?"

"A bit, not that it made much sense though" Grace sighed "I think she's scared. Been crying this past twenty minutes" she stared at the little old lady in the corner "Gotta be scary suddenly finding out you're forty years older then you thought"

"Indeed" James stood as close as bars would allow him, "Carmen" he spoke gently as so not to startle her "My name is Dr Caulfield" he jumped slightly as Carmen's head whipped up to look at him, her eyes were bloodshot, her face sodden and red, she looked for all intensive purposes like a mad woman, someone that they had just brought in from the wilderness not the refined sweet old dear he had met on a few occasions "I understand you've hurt your wrist and your ribs, are you in any pain?" James continued

"My head hurts" Carmen whimpered gingerly reaching to touch the livid bump on her head,

"I see, nowhere else?" James asked her softly, Michaela despite her own injury having filled him in on Carmen's accident and subsequent mental status.

Carmen shook her head, she took a shuddering breath her whole body trembling as she tried to deal with what to her was a momentous thing "I don't understand?"

"What don't you understand?" James questioned her gently, holding his hand out to the startled woman.

"I'm old" Carmen whispered "I'm not supposed to be old"

James exhaled not certain how to respond to the woman's wail, unable to fathom what it could be like to inhabit a brain that was so wrapped in confusion.

He was saved having to answer by Cloud Dancing slipping inside. Carmen gave a gasp of fear and cowered into the corner once more. "Please" the Indian approached gently "I mean no harm" the Cheyenne slowly padded to the cell door, producing the key he unlocked the door and crept inside. He knelt on the stone floor of the prison and calmly regarded the scared woman, "I am your friend"

"You are an Indian" Carmen hissed clearly terrified by the thought

"I am a Cheyenne" Cloud Dancing told her proudly "I too am like you" he smiled serenely at Carmen as the old lady straightened slightly, moving away from the corner of the wall "I too lost who I am" he kept his tone measured and calm "My wife and I would like you to come stay with us" he held out his hand "We have the sky and the earth that will help you find your way" he smiled pleasantly at Carmen, the old lady drawn out by his warmth,

"I'm supposed to stay in here, because I hurt the lady who says she's a doctor" Carmen shuffled her knees across the ground to the man who held her attention so resolutely.

"She has asked that I help you" Cloud Dancing told Carmen gently "She believes that I may help you"

"But I hurt her" Carmen whispered with surprise

"She is a forgiving woman" Cloud Dancing told Carmen gently "she wants you to be yourself once more, she asks that you stay with me" he smiled as the woman nodded her head slowly wincing as the movement caused her pain, "but first you must let Dr Caulfield give you medicine so that you may make the trip to my home"

He back out of the cell allowing James to enter and approach the frightened old woman.

"Did Dr Mike tell you to take her?" Grace whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

Cloud Dancing imperceptivity shook his head "Dorothy and I agreed it would be safer, that we would be able to protect my brother's family by having what threatens them near to us" he sighed regretting his candidness as he took in Grace's surprised look. "I also believe I may help her, at least I hope"

* * *

Sully eagerly leapt from the train onto his hometown platform, he frowned surprised by the quietness of the station, and the fact that the telegraph office was closed, Horace usually open until the last train was in and the passengers away. He shrugged it off, eager to get to his home and his family after the weeks away from them. He rounded the train and jogged down the street, hoping that Robert E was still in the livery and he could borrow a horse to get home. He noted the gaggle of people outside the jail and his sense of dread which he had so effectively pushed to the back of his mind during his trip resurfaced.

One word escaped his lips "Michaela" his voice was a whisper, but he knew, before he could even hear what the crowd of people were saying that something had happened to his wife. He broke into a run rushing past the crowd and on towards Michaela's clinic, his senses drawing him to her. He skidded on the dry earth as he rounded the corner another group waiting outside, some of his closest friends, seemingly arguing with Brian. His son standing his ground refusing to leave or let his sisters be taken from him. Sully felt his heart rise into his mouth his fear the bile in his empty stomach bubble angrily, making his heart burn with worry. "Michaela" he whispered again, he dropped his pack. The sound made the crowd turn.

"PAPA" Katie screamed running from Brian's side as fast as her short legs would carry her towards her father. Sully ran for her, closing the distance in a few large strides, he crouched as Katie jumped catching his precious daughter in his arms and holding her tight "Papa" Katie murmured into his familiar shoulder, hugging him with all her might "Mama needs you" she turned her face to look at him, her deep brown eyes welling up with threatened tears.

"What happened?" Sully asked, his voice ringing out to everyone his question not only directed at the child in his arm. "Where's Michaela?"

"There was an accident" Loren told him gently, he put his arms out to stop Sully, the man coiled like a spring at the thought of Michaela being hurt, "Carmen got injured, made her go a bit crazy" he looked nervously at the other men in the crowd, Robert E, Hank and even Horace moving forward to restrain Sully, all of them watching him as if he was about to explode.

"Mama getted hurt" Katie whimpered in her arms, "She not wake up,"

"She's awake now" Loren butted in as he saw Sully's eyes flare with deeper concern "she's awake, and resting upstairs, James says she's gonna be fine" he held his arms out to take Katie "It's good that ya back lad"

The minute that Katie was removed from his arms, Sully lunged for the door, his eyes met with his son's as he passed him, and he could see without the need for words the remorse in the teenager's eyes, the pain from not being here when this had all gone down. Sully nodded to him letting the boy know that he knew that this was not his fault and that he in no way blamed him for what had happened to his mother.

Sully broke his gaze from Brian and pushed on into the clinic, he took the stairs two at a time, drawn to his wife, not needing anyone to tell him where she was, he approached the door to the room that he knew would contain her and paused. He took two calming breaths, ready to be her rock as she dealt with whatever had happened to her. Slowly he pushed open the door.

She was laying on her back, one hand curled over her torso the other resting palm up on her forehead, the tracks of her dried tears still visible on her cheeks, her chest shuddering slightly as she fought the tears she so evidently still needed to shed. Sully gasped, she looked so fragile, so small and helpless, the deep purple bruise that ran down her right cheek starting at her temple and reaching level with her nose a testament to the trauma that she had been through. Sully put a foot inside the room and her head turned. Her two tone eyes registered shock at seeing him, like she couldn't believe he was there in front of her. "Sully?"

He ran to the bed as her sweet voice croaked his name, in a second he had her cradled in his arms, holding her as distraught sobs fell out of her. He held her willing her pain away as her cries reached out from the very bottom of her soul.

Sully held her tenderly as her tears began to ebb, his grip unwavering as he waited for her to break the silence that had fallen.

"You're back" she whispered her slender fingers gripping hold of his dirty buckskin coat,

"I'm back" he kissed the top of her soft hair, his lips resting on the silky tresses as he drank in her smell.

"I missed you" her voice sounded so young and childlike, so different from the usually assured confident tone she operated in.

"Missed ya to" Sully rubbed her arm, "You feeling better now?"

"Yes" she tilted her face up to look at him.

"Ya wanna tell me what happened, I know that the girls are safe, that's Brian is safe" his finger lightly traced the angry bruise on her cheek "Our family's safe and they said you were Ok" he frowned as she trembled again "Caela?" he shifted to take a better look at her worried features "You're ok right?" She mumbled something, a few words that he couldn't make out, "Caela tell me whats wrong if ya hurting I can get James ta come and look at ya" he studied his wife his panic rising again "Caela please! Tell me what's wrong" he gasped as she fixed him with a stare that he had not seen in a long while, her eyes deep pools of anguish, her look haunted, he flinched as he realised she had spoken again but in his reverie he had missed the words "What?"

Michaela took a shuddering breathe and half forced her face into his chest, her injured cheek coming to rest over his rapidly beating heart, her body trembling with fear and worry "I'm pregnant"

All at once she was crying, hot thick heavy tears, tears that could not be stopped by any words or anyone.

Sully held his fragile wife as she sobbed seemingly every drop of water in her body. Her reactions to what was such happy news baffled him, especially considering how elated she had been when she had first found out that they had been having the girls. He maintained his gentle grip listening as she struggled to breathe through her tears hoping that she would stop crying, and tell him what was so drastically wrong to make her react in such a way.

"Michaela" he spoke her name slowly, hoping it would prompt a reaction, prompt her to speak. He moved one of his arms, bringing it to rest on her lower abdomen, tenderly communing his love to the newly discovered life within her.

"You won't be able to feel anything yet" his action pulling Michaela from her crying fit, her hand shifted to join his, "the foetus is about the size of a bean at this stage of pregnancy"

Sully frowned at her use of the clinical terminology she used to describe their baby, "Don't call it that" he whispered softly, he lovingly stroked her belly.

"I have to" her voice was distant and high "I can't..." she dissolved into tears again unable to finish her sentence.

Sully moved his arm back to cradle her again; gently he rocked her back and forth trying to soothe her pain even though he knew she needed to spill it. A thought occurred to him, "Michaela, the baby, I mean what happened, you're gonna be Ok right? Ya ain't gonna lose it are you?"

Her inhalation of much needed air was laboured, the tremors of her diaphragm fighting against its natural operation "James wants me to remain in bed for several days" her tears started afresh "but it would not necessarily a bad thing if I did lo..." She stopped herself, allowing her tears to overcome her once more.

Sully gasped as he heard his wife's last squeaked words, stunned that she should be feeling such a way about their child, their baby, something they had made together. He opened his mouth to admonish her, to challenge what she meant but she got their first, her voice so tiny and fragile, lost in the racking sobs that still coursed through her body "I can't leave you"

Sully closed his eyes, biting his lips together from the inside the realisation hit him, the reason of why she was so upset. His grip tightened on her instinctually as he realised what she was implying, the horrifying notion of what he had already been through before with Abagail.

"I was so sick with Esmee, gravely sick" she whimpered, fully admitting to him the turmoil that had raged through her body during her last pregnancy "I can't leave you or the girls, I just can't." she crumpled, her body seeming to shrink even more, her tiny frame folding in on itself. The news which should be a blessing traumatising her to the point that she had lost control of herself.

Sully opened and closed his mouth like a fish, unable to process or respond to what she was saying, every part of him wanting to be thrilled but terrified beyond words about how to handle the situation.

Suddenly she moved her body retreating from him, her eyes filled with hurt, he gasped seeing something in his wife that he had never seen directed at him, a look of blame. In an instant it was gone and she was rolling back into him, her head resting against his torso, her cheek against his breast bone. He forgave her in an a heartbeat, knowing that she was just as confused as he was only worse with the added hormones that were no doubt coursing through her already hard working body. But the look had been there, a look he could push from his mind, that he could not forgive himself for causing.

* * *

Michaela stirred, the gentle summer breeze wafting in from the open doors. The darkness in the room told her it was more than likely late into the night. She felt drained, and she couldn't remember the last time she had cried in that way or indeed if she had ever cried herself to sleep. She smiled down at her little girl in the bed with her, her blonde haired angel peacefully sucking her thumb. Glancing over to the corner of the room, she spotted Brian asleep in the cot, and Esmee awake in the circular crib, her arm waving in the air as she reached for something in the dark. Michaela softly kissed Katie before she moved from the bed. Her feet where bare, someone, probably Sully, having removed her shoes and stockings at some point during her tear induced slumber. Slowly she padded to the doorway, through the sheer fabric of the curtains she could see her husband sat in the rocking chair deep in thought as he stared out on at the deserted Colorado Springs street. She shivered despite the warmth as she stepped outside, the warmth provided to her by her daughter vanishing in the gentle breeze.

Her action made Sully turn, his blue eyes full of nervousness "Did Katie wake ya?" he asked with concern,

"No" Michaela took a step closer to him, reaching with her hand to take a tendril of his honey brown hair and curl it round her finger. "I'm sorry" she told him sincerely.

"Salright" Sully told her with a shake of his head.

"I said some terrible things, I never should have said them" Michaela sighed, her hand falling protectively over her lower abdomen "I never should have said what I did, it would be..."

"Don't matter" he stared at her stopping her from saying what he knew she was about to say, that it would be fitting that what she said about a possible miscarriage to come true. "You should be in bed"

Michaela sighed "I'd like to be with you, and I don't want to wake up the children" she smiled slightly as he held out his hand to her, she moved to sit on his lap "I should make the most of this" she kissed his temple as she settled into his comforting embrace "while I still can"

"You can always sit on my knee" Sully returned her kiss, before resting his head on her chest in a way that she could rest her chin on the top of his head.

"Even if I gain 48 pounds again?" Michaela raised her eyebrow.

"Even if you gain 148 pounds" Sully told her, his fingers squeezing her arms to tell her he was joking. "So ya four weeks pregnant"

"Six weeks" she corrected, bringing his hand to rest on her lower abdomen "Pregnancy is calculated from the first day of the last menstrual cycle"

"Ya had that?" Sully raised his head from her chest.

Michaela smiled and shook her head "It's roughly 14 days before conception and we know when that happened" she leaned into him, shifting herself to make herself comfortable within his altered position. "Early April" she sighed "We're going to have two babies within a year of each other"

Sully grinned widely at the notion "It's fine I don't like sleeping anyway" he raised his chin to kiss her, "Takes away time from looking at you"

She leant in, pressing her lips against his, a sweet tender yet passionate kiss, their first true kiss since his return "I am sorry" she whispered as they broke apart for air.

Sully raised his forefinger to her lips to silence her "You were scared an upset, people say all kinds of things when they are scared an upset, things they don't mean" he sighed and moved his hand, softly stroking the lower portion of her stomach just above where the baby currently resided. "I spoke ta James before he left ta check on Carmen, he said ya had to be on partial bed rest until you were 34 weeks, then in bed the whole time till the baby arrives"

"I would prescribe the same thing to a patient who had had the difficulties I had during a previous pregnancy" Michaela nodded in agreement. She shifted position, bringing her head to rest on his shoulder, her hands reaching to find his, her fingers intertwining with his, restoring the connections that she had sorely missed during his departure. "I missed you"

"I missed you too" Sully nuzzled his nose against the side of her cheek "Missed holding you"

"I think we can rectify that, I have a feeling I'm going to need lots of holding" she tilted her head slightly "You know this means we can't" she waved her hand to finish her sentence, not quite able still, to talk in the open air about what went on behind their door in their marital bed.

"Don't matter" kissed her on the cheek "Bean's more important"

"Bean?" she sat upright, twisting her body to look at him with curiosity.

"I was thinking about poor Esmee, how ya kept calling her a boy, so I figured we should give the baby a name," Sully explained with a cheeky grin "Something that it don't matter if it's a boy or a girl."

Michaela lips spread into a smile "Why Bean?"

"What ya said earlier" Sully leant forward and kissed her tenderly "That the baby is the size of a bean" he coaxed her to rest back against him, their torso's pressed together, his arms encircling her and resting gently over her midriff, her hands resting on top of his.

"Oh" she laughed slightly "Won't be for much longer," she raised her arms away from her torso, imitating where she would grow to "soon I'll be out to here. I won't be able to bend over to put by boots on. None of my clothes will fit. I'll get even more stretch marks and my back will ache," she sighed

"You'll love every minute of it" Sully nuzzled her neck again, relishing the close proximity to his wife.

"Yes I will" She raised her hand to stroke his cheek, her hand instinctively finding his rough skin, even though she was facing out towards the street. Sully turned his face, kissing the soft caring hands that he loved so much, pleased beyond words that he had his Michaela in his arms again. He pushed that terrible look she had given him earlier from his mind, her touch healing his doubts about her feelings towards him. The baby growing inside her a testament to their love, the woman who was scared she would never have children of her own, expecting another child, their fourth, their baby, who he was certain would join them here on earth and not go live with its unborn sibling with the Great Spirit. He could feel it now, his joy at the creation of their child, feel it now he knew that Michaela had come to the natural realisation that the baby was a blessing. He hugged her tight, letting her know his feelings the joy, the love, the anticipation of what the next few months would bring.

The End


End file.
